Urgent adv needed 'allegation from parent of burn'

**acorns** · 15-05-2012, 06:18 AM

I had a text late last night from a parent of one of my 11mo toddling babies saying that he had been to GP after pick up (because of being a bit unwell and irritable) and that he had a large red mark on his arm which looks like a BURN

and do I know how it got there?
If a child has a mark on them, it goes in my accident book, so i was horrifed to get this text (a phone call would have been much better!) as I did not notice any injury. The child was generally irritable yesterday beacuse of being unwell and it is not humanly possible to look at them for 10 hrs a day, it's possible that one of my others could have held his arm a bit tight, I also have it documented that he marks very easily when bumped. I'm going to ask Mum this morning to get the marking easily, investigated by a GP as I dont feel I can continue to care for him if it isn't because of the risk of a false allegation being made. Any advice please on how to handle this.

**Cammie Doodle** · 15-05-2012, 06:31 AM

how awful for you, just sending hugs.

**sarah707** · 15-05-2012, 06:32 AM

Mum needs to write down exactly what the doctor said or did not say and then I would suggest you take advice based on what words the doc used.

If the doc said - that's a burn - and mum is saying it did not happen at home then she is looking at you to provide answers.

If the doc said - I'm not sure what that is, did baby come into contact with anything hot - that's different and mum is just asking a question.

Is there anything in baby's history to suggest you might be getting the blame for something that has happened at home? Don't answer on here - just use the question to think back and be prepared.

Hugs xx

**flowerpots** · 15-05-2012, 06:35 AM

sending hugs, hope mum was just asking in general.

**acorns** · 15-05-2012, 06:38 AM

Sorry - I should add that he 110% has not burned his arm whilst in my care

**miffy** · 15-05-2012, 06:43 AM

It's impossible to know without speaking to mum exactly what she meant by the text - it may be an accusation or just asking and there's a world of difference. Still very hard on you receiving that I would have been gutted.

See what she says today but I would document everything she tells you and also write down what happened yesterday while lo was in your care (so you have a clear picture later if you need to).

Miffy xx

**nikki thomson** · 15-05-2012, 07:18 AM

What an awful situation to be in, if the dr says its definately a burn and lo didn't do it at your house (let's be honest here you'd know if s child had burnt themselfs) then mum is trying to pass the buck which I would be very uncomfortable with, why would you do that????, if the dr is just saying its a mark it could of happened at yours as you say he marks very quickly and as he was out of sorts anyway he could just have a viral thing as there so much going around, I'd have a good chat with mum about it all, is she accusing you of something???, all abit odd.
Hope it all gets sorted. X

**Beckieboo** · 15-05-2012, 12:38 PM

I would have rang mum straight away, to find out exactly what she mean't, texts and messages can sound very different than it would do either face to face or on the phone.

Sending u hugs, what an awful situation, hope u have managed to speak to her today and get it sorted!

**The Juggler** · 15-05-2012, 01:05 PM

good advice from Sarah hon. I would do this. Document what has happened so far. Ask mum to come for a meeting. Tell her you need to record all conversations about this in writing and this meeting for both hers and your records. Detail what GP said. Then once you are both happy with the written version of events both sign.

sending a hug x

**acorns** · 15-05-2012, 05:11 PM

Thanks, I would have rung her but I only looked at tha text at 10:30 last night so too late. Basically, the GP noticed what she thought was a burn and asked Mum to explain it. Until that point Mum hadn't noticed (did GP not think baby would be in discomfort if he had a burn

). Seems Mum was cheesed off with being put under the scrutiny of the GP and thought I should/would have an explanation so that set the tone for the text. This morning however the 'burn' has completley dissapeared and Mum was no longer concerned, in fact a bit blase about the concern she had caused me. I have documented what has happened in my own diary and asked if she has consulted GP about child getting red marks easily, which she has. So fortunately, that is the end of it and I have no concerns over the parents treatment of the child. I had visions of ofsted and social services investigating me for something I had not done so i'm very relieved.

**Bridey** · 15-05-2012, 05:27 PM

That's good news and yes, you are right to document the whole thing in case this happens again. Lets hope not.

**Chimps Childminding** · 15-05-2012, 05:59 PM

Glad it turned out ok for you in the end, but must have been horrible for you!!!

**Karaza** · 15-05-2012, 06:33 PM

I had this about 6 weeks ago very similar circumstances. Child was little unwell and I noticed a red mark on one arm as he was going home. 10:30 that night I got a phone call from his mum asking how he had burnt himself. I had no idea what it was it was definitely not a burn and had said this as he left but there was a little white spot in the middle. Mum was furious with me and made me feel awful. Next day it had vanished and now I have been told it was likely to have been a reaction to an insect bite but it has made me question myself. Makes me so

when parents point the finger without thinking