What can I do?
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Thread: What can I do?

  1. #1
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    Default What can I do?

    Hi all, havent been around for a while as been wrapped up with looking after the kids and also with my pregnancy.

    Need some advice though, sorry its a bit long winded.

    I have been told this morning that one of my mindees parents has been going around trying to find someone to have her full time because her current childminder (me) is not being attentive enough, does not change her nappy enough (I change it as per her instructions) have too many children (I have 2 i take to school and have after school for 2 hrs, 1 Monday and Friday only and 1 for 4 hrs on a Thurs morning - I am registered for 4) and shouldnt have them all being so heavily pregnant (I was already pg when i took on her daughter which she knew and I am only 22wks) etc etc

    Also another lady has told me that she has heard rumours about me that have been said by same parent.

    This parent has not said anything to me, I dont see her in the mornings as I collect the child from a friend of hers at school - she has a diary that I write down everything inc naps nappy changes play what she eats etc and she leaves me messages via that.

    Am I entitled to cancel contract with immediate effect or do I still have to give my notice period?

    Michelle
    x - Michelle - x

  2. #2
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Oh dear, what a nasty parent

    Haven't been in this position myself but wanted to send you hugs. I would terminate too under those circumstances. Hope you're ok.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    I think you would still have to give the 4 weeks notice which is a shame coz she sounds like such a horrid person! I wouldnt class 22 weeks as heavily pregnant its only half way through and alot of people work past that stage! I'm still working and i'm 34 weeks and plan on working till 38!! I only have 1 mindee though and the parent is fine and realises that as time goes on i wont be able to do as many physical things with him but she is greatful that i am going to continue to care for him as long as possible!

    Your parent sounds like a nightmare! You could always lie and say you midwife has told you to cut down your hours and so you have to let her go with immediate effect.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    i would confront her about what she has been saying about you, if these rumours get around it will affect your business in the long term, tell her if she had a problem with you then you would expect her to come and talk to you about it so it could be resolved

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    What do you have in your contracts about ending the agreement? If you have the 4 weeks then you should be giving written notice of 4 weeks.

    Are you a member of NCMA? If so give them a call for some advice explaining the situation.

    Why not arrange for the mum to come to your house for a meeting when you are not minding so that you can "air" these concerns. If she has a problem then she should be talking to you about it rather than others. If you are able to resolve these then you could then still mind for the lo - if you feel you want to. I understand that it may become difficult now as your relationship with the mum may become strained.

    I would also log all these things that people are telling you & keep then in this lo's file - just in case she turns nasty.

    At the end of the day - if you couldn't cope with the children that you mind ofsted wouldn't have registered you to do so - it makes me angry when parents who don't know whats what are so opinionated - not realising the effect these nasty rumers have on our business

    Hope you manage to get it sorted out
    Katickles

  6. #6
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Thanks for your replies so far ladies, I also dont consider myself as heavily pg. I was and still am planning to work up until 38/40 weeks also.

    The parent has been told by the person I spoke to this morning that she shouldnt be going round saying these things until she has spoken to me about it....but am wondering whether this is her plan? for it to get to me so she doesnt have to....I live on a forces camp so news/gossip does spread fast.....
    x - Michelle - x

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    What a shame this lady hasn't spoken to you about her concerns but has just tried to blacken your reputation. It is also a shame that the confidentiality rules that we as childminders have to abide by don't seem to apply to the parents. Whatever you decide to do good luck with it all. Sometimes childminding does seem like a thankless task with parents like this but thank goodness they aren't all the same!

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    If it were me i think i would have a meeting with this nasty parent (before it gets anymore out of hand) and ask her exactly what she has been saying, it is your reputation that is in danger here.

    I would tell her that she is breeching confidentiality that works both ways, and to be honest if you were out there slating her she would have ofsted to contact, who have we got?

    if i were unhappy with her comments i would terminate the contract

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Speak to the parent first it all could be a misunderstanding

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    My confidentiality policy states that I will terminate with immediate effect if a parent breaks my confidentiality (or that of my family) by talking about me or them to others...

    I think that's what has happened here and you are within your rights to contact her, ask her for an urgent meeting and tell her you feel your confidentiality has been broached.

    Depending on what she says and bearing in mind there are 2 sides to every story, you can make your decision then.

    Good luck xx

  11. #11
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    I would call an urgent meeting with her (ring her today). Record what has been said back to you and have your notes in front of you.

    Keep it calm and professional and confront her with. Say its come to your attention from various sources that she has been trying to find a new CM and some of the comments she has been making about you have not been very nice or truthful.
    She what her response is and take it from there, regardless though stay calm and professional.
    Tell her she has breeched confidentiality, making untruthful statements that are bordering on slander and you find this intolerable and cannot continue to work with her. (If you want to tell her that in the interests of fairness and professionalism you are hereby giving her 4 weeks notice (and hand her the letter at the same time).

    What a horrible situation. You do know that you can have another person present with you during the meeting don't you - so long as that person understands their role (ie support for you only and not add their tuppence worth in).

  12. #12
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    oh michelle cross you, I thought she was really happy with everything


    Feel free to come round for a cuppa and a moan, I'm in, only Z just gone back to bed lazy bones


    I've not heard anything, but then I always walked around with my head buried most of the time you know me xxx

  13. #13
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Thanks again - Sarah, your confidentiality policy sounds a good idea, think I will put this in place from now on!

    Have spoken to my local NCMA lady who had a look through the NCMA contract and unfortunately I am only able to give the 4 weeks notice and not terminate it any earlier (althought there is something about confidentiality), she advised that I should confront this parent and ask her if she is happy with my service and explain that the reason I ask is because I have been told that she isnt, and to follow my complaints proceedure of which she has a copy. My options are to give 4 weeks notice and work it, or give 4 weeks notice and pay the parent the amount of money she would have to pay me for them weeks and not work it. Or to carry on as.

    Hey ho, only been minding 4 months!! Just hope people on camp know me better than her rumours!
    x - Michelle - x

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Definitely confront her, in a professional manner and let her know you are terminating the contract because you find her behaviour inexcusable and it's really not the other way around at all! Then give her the 4 weeks notice, in writing.
    Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

  15. #15
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    [QUOTE=sutherland;155759]Thanks again - Sarah, your confidentiality policy sounds a good idea, think I will put this in place from now on!

    Have spoken to my local NCMA lady who had a look through the NCMA contract and unfortunately I am only able to give the 4 weeks notice and not terminate it any earlier (althought there is something about confidentiality), she advised that I should confront this parent and ask her if she is happy with my service and explain that the reason I ask is because I have been told that she isnt, and to follow my complaints proceedure of which she has a copy. My options are to give 4 weeks notice and work it, or give 4 weeks notice and pay the parent the amount of money she would have to pay me for them weeks and not work it. Or to carry on as.

    Hey ho, only been minding 4 months!! Just hope people on camp know me better than her rumours![/QUOTE]


    they do, I always give you out as a first recommendation hun xx

    Although, I need children now lol so I'm keeping them

  16. #16
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    they do, I always give you out as a first recommendation hun xx

    Although, I need children now lol so I'm keeping them


    Thanks, I always give out ur details too.......u dont want her do u?!?!

    Charlottes off ill again, been to docs and been confirmed tonsilitis other wise would take up ur offer of a cuppa and moan (or cry!)
    x - Michelle - x

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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Quote Originally Posted by sutherland View Post
    they do, I always give you out as a first recommendation hun xx

    Although, I need children now lol so I'm keeping them


    Thanks, I always give out ur details too.......u dont want her do u?!?!

    Charlottes off ill again, been to docs and been confirmed tonsilitis other wise would take up ur offer of a cuppa and moan (or cry!)
    oh hugs to carlotte xx My throat is megga sore today, if still sore better get myself to the docs then if it's doing the rounds Leah still ill too, only got temp though today

    ERrrrmmmmm nope to having parent haha I said before you took her one what I thought

  18. #18
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    I hope you get this sorted out and that its just a misunderstanding.
    I would definately talk to the parent and get her side of the story - but have her written notice ready just in case!

    Good luck - its not nice when someone spreads rumours about you instead of speaking to you directly if they have a problem !!

  19. #19
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    I would sort this asap. Often thing have a habit of evolving like chinese whispers and so I would get it cleared up as soon as you can.

    Good luck xxxx

  20. #20
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    Default Re: What can I do?

    Any news on this ? did you speak to her ?

 

 
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