Advice needed on behaviour
Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Dislikes Dislikes:  0
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    2
    Registered Childminder since
    Dec 11
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Advice needed on behaviour

    Hi I've been minding 2 sisters since Feb, a 6 yr old and a 14 month old and I am really struggling with the 6yr old. This is my first job! She hasn't got the ideal home situation, mum and dad separated and it's quite hostile. Mum on her own and stressed so daughter doesn't get much time with her and she is quite impatient with her and admits she shouts at her a lot. This little girl is extremely bossy and critical and behaves like an adult ( all learned behaviour I'm sure) and initially I felt sorry for her, but she is making my kids lives a misery, bossing them around, being unkind to my 4 yr old and laughing when she gets upset, goading her to have tantrums (when she doesn't need much persuasion!), trying to get my son to ignore his sister or run away from her. I have tried sticker charts, trying to explain how her behaviour makes others feel, telling her off, but she is so thick skinned, nothing seems to matter. Mum has witnessed some of her behaviour and has told her off and she is supportive, but I feel she thinks it's as much my kids and all she will do anyway is shout at her! It's a shame as my kids are very close and play well together, I think she doesn't quite know how to share, she doesn't seem to have many friends at school and spends most of her time with adults, so the only way she can relate to kids is by controlling or being mean. She's also quite cheeky and disrespectful to adults generally, other parents at the school have made comments about her thinking she's an adult. I want to help her, but I can't bear to see my children unhappy! Any ideas?

  2. #2
    BuggsieMoo Guest

    Default

    I don't really have any words of wisdom, but speaking from personal experience, she sounds like a very distressed little girl. You and mum need to work on a behaviour plan together and you both need to follow it. I hope someone with some more wisdom comes along soon to offer some advice. Chin up hun and big hugs x

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    230
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 10
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Good
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    She sounds like a very unhappy little girl.
    Have you tried separating her when she behaves badly? I hesitate to use the words 'naughty step' as I know that is a can of worms (it's a 'thinking step' now, I believe!) but, I find that time out does work.
    Even if she's on there every five minutes, just keep on doing it and doing it and be really consistent. And always tell her briefly why she's going to sit there, and make sure its out of sight of the others.
    When you bring her back have something going on that she will want to join in with, rather than free play, and give her loads of praise and encouragement. She will hopefully begin to realise the positive behaviour brings its rewards.

    I don't know what else to suggest, am sure someone else has some better ideas but it might be worth a try

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    2
    Registered Childminder since
    Dec 11
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Thanks for the advice, things are improving a little. I invited a class mate of hers round for tea and they played well together, she wasn't as bad, which makes me think maybe she's a bit threatened by our little family unit. The other little girl was very kind to the younger ones too and I gave her lots of praise. I have been also limiting the free play and giving them colouring and crafting activities, or taking them out so I can supervise them more closely. But I will try a 'thinking step', I like the renaming, that might calm her down. I've talked to my kids too about walking away when she's mean, so hopefully she'll learn if she wants their company, she'll have to be nice. Oh well I suppose it's a challenge!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Cheshire
    Posts
    37,493
    Registered Childminder since
    1994
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    21

    Default

    You have had good advice... I think she needs to be separated and helped to think through what she is doing and the effect she is having on others. At 6 she is old enough to understand about actions and consequences.

    The most important thing though is that it happens in all settings so it is consistent... so you need to speak to mum again about how she is reacting and come up with some strategies together.

    Hth

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Quick Links and Advertisements

Important Information Links
Some Useful Quick Links
Advertisements

 

You can also find us on:
Advice needed on behaviour Advice needed on behaviour Advice needed on behaviour

We use cookies to make this site as useful as possible. They are small text files placed in your browser to track usage of our site but they don’t tell us who you are.
By continuing to use this site you are consenting to cookies being placed on your computer. Find out more here: Cookies in Use

Childminding Help and the Childminding Forum are part of Childcare.co.uk