"Forgot" to pay?!?

**Melanie** · 28-01-2008, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by sutherland

some people have no thought for others do they, i'm sorry that you still have not received what you are owed. What did the mum have to say for herself when you called?

The cheeky mare was completely unrepentant. She actually seemed a bit irritated that I'd had the audacity to ask her for it. I nearly apologised! That's when I decided for sure that I was better off cutting my losses. I can't see it getting any better and I'd rather do it now than after having the little ones for a while and getting attatched.

Pipsqueak · 28-01-2008, 10:41 PM

It can't have been easy to make that decision but well done you for being "business minded".

You have nothing to apologise for and well done for making the phone call. Let us know if she does turn up Wednesday. If she doesn't make sure you pursue the monies owed.

**Mickey Mouse Clubhouse** · 29-01-2008, 07:57 AM

Good for you it will be interesting to see if she turns up on Wednesday or not like you say may be she will not. If she is claiming tax credits make sure you inform them so that she doesn't carry on claiming under your name.

Let is know how it goes.

Lorraine xx

**berkschick** · 29-01-2008, 09:44 AM

Good luck for tomorrow. Its so unfair that she hasnt paid you.

**emler** · 29-01-2008, 10:06 AM

I really hope she does turn up tomorrow and you get ther money she owes you

Emler x

**Schnakes** · 29-01-2008, 11:24 AM

Hi Melanie,

Sorry to read that you are having problems at the moment. I just wanted to say "bravo" for being so strong minded about the situation.

Sx

**Cheeky Chops** · 29-01-2008, 08:42 PM

I had a similar experience, I started minding for my neice (who is only a yung un & a single mum) back in october, I had her little boy for 3 mnths, never saw a penny, she kept saying she was trying to get help sorted out with the payments, she said she was waiting for the government to send her letters etc etc.

She had a part time job and was always ringing in sick, when she rang in sick she wouldn't bring her little boy and expect not to be charged for that day (even tho it was in the contract that she would pay) she refused to sign a contract for 2 weeks until I told her that if she didn't turn up with a signed contract there would be no childcare, she turned up with a signed contract the very next day!

then one morning she didnt turn up, when I contacted her she said that because she couldnt get in contact with me she wasnt bringing the Little one. !! I said I had received no contact from her so didnt know what she meant, she replied with well thanks a lot, now I might lose my job!!

she lost her job and I dont have her LO anymore, but I havnt been paid and she owes me 3mnths, but wont pay. her dad is my brother in law and he has said he isnt helping her out anymore with money etc, so I guess she isnt going to ever pay me!!

I have started minding again and have been for 3 weeks and havnt been payed yet, altho there has been mentioning of payment next week, so lets pray and hope!! hehe ah the joys x x

**Melanie** · 31-01-2008, 01:02 PM

Blimey what a nightmare! I hope you get all that sorted and get your money. Any chance of getting advice from NCMA or do you not want to rock the boat with her being family?

Got paid!! Don't think Dad realised that I hadn't been. He's been away for a few days and came straight from the train station to see the kids. I gave him an invoice for outstanding payments. Also gave him my notice to end the contract. He seemed quite upset by it.

Said that I was taking more hours at school. It's true but I would probably have worked around the family if they hadn't been so consistently late and bad at paying.

Going to keep childminding but only after school and holidays. As luck would have it I have one starting the week after the notice runs out. The girl seems really nice and is quite shy. She came for the initial meeting and disappeared with my kids to the play room. They seemed to get on really well so fingers crossed eh?!

Thanks to all of you for letting me have my moan and giving me fab support and great advice.

Right... got to write a couple of essays and re-write my fees and charges policy!

**LittleMissSparkles** · 31-01-2008, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by Cheeky Chops

I had a similar experience, I started minding for my neice (who is only a yung un & a single mum) back in october, I had her little boy for 3 mnths, never saw a penny, she kept saying she was trying to get help sorted out with the payments, she said she was waiting for the government to send her letters etc etc.

She had a part time job and was always ringing in sick, when she rang in sick she wouldn't bring her little boy and expect not to be charged for that day (even tho it was in the contract that she would pay) she refused to sign a contract for 2 weeks until I told her that if she didn't turn up with a signed contract there would be no childcare, she turned up with a signed contract the very next day!

then one morning she didnt turn up, when I contacted her she said that because she couldnt get in contact with me she wasnt bringing the Little one. !! I said I had received no contact from her so didnt know what she meant, she replied with well thanks a lot, now I might lose my job!!

she lost her job and I dont have her LO anymore, but I havnt been paid and she owes me 3mnths, but wont pay. her dad is my brother in law and he has said he isnt helping her out anymore with money etc, so I guess she isnt going to ever pay me!!

I have started minding again and have been for 3 weeks and havnt been payed yet, altho there has been mentioning of payment next week, so lets pray and hope!! hehe ah the joys x x

can you seek legal advice with MM or NCMA ? 3 months is a lot of money to be owed, you need to put your foot down no payment on time no cildcare, the same with this new one you have you said theyd mentioned paying next week... YOU ARE THE BOSS tell them when you want paying give them an invoice with a due date on xxx

**Cheeky Chops** · 31-01-2008, 08:59 PM

I wasnt with the NCMA when I started minding, I started in october and became ncma memeber in Jan this year. I want the money she owes me of course, but the family might put up a fuss as she is a single mum with no job now and they might think Im "mean" for asking for my money! But if she gets another job then I would def push for the money.

on boxing day last year she asked me repeatedly to change her little boys nappy, I refused saying in a jokey way that it was her son and I wasnt workin so why should I change him. she left him in a dirty nappy for 2 hrs before it began to seep all over and her auntie (my sis in law) said she needed to change him cos he was leaking. only then did she get up. so thats the kind of person I am up against, she didnt really want him in the first place which is sad but thats how it is I guess x x

**avril** · 31-01-2008, 09:18 PM

Some people are unbeliveable bare faced cheek, I wouldn't have dared do that to anybody, I believe treat people how you would like to be treated.

Hopefully she turns up with the money for you, keep us posted.

Avril

Pipsqueak · 31-01-2008, 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by Cheeky Chops

I wasnt with the NCMA when I started minding, I started in october and became ncma memeber in Jan this year. I want the money she owes me of course, but the family might put up a fuss as she is a single mum with no job now and they might think Im "mean" for asking for my money! But if she gets another job then I would def push for the money.

on boxing day last year she asked me repeatedly to change her little boys nappy, I refused saying in a jokey way that it was her son and I wasnt workin so why should I change him. she left him in a dirty nappy for 2 hrs before it began to seep all over and her auntie (my sis in law) said she needed to change him cos he was leaking. only then did she get up. so thats the kind of person I am up against, she didnt really want him in the first place which is sad but thats how it is I guess x x

OMG - what a parent to knowingly and deliberately leave your child in a dirty nappy - that is bordering on neglect at worst and lazy parenting at best.

As for pursuing the money that you are owed, I would go for it. You can still get advice from NCMA regardless of when you joined.
I would bill her (final notice) asking either fully payment by xx date or offer a range of payment solutions (ie/ £xx per week, or £xx per month) and please could she contact you before xx date to arrange a schedule with you.
Make it clear that if no payment or contact is forthcoming by xx date you shall be adding late fees per day and you will be seeking further legal advice and possible action about the recovery of the debt owed for childminding services. Point out that She will be liable for any costs incurred by further action (solicitors letters, court costs etc) that you are forced to take by her refusal to pay for services as per your legally binding contracts that she signed.
Its sounds like you have been more than reasonable and helpful and by offering payment solutions you are extending your support and help further.

**Cheeky Chops** · 01-02-2008, 09:29 AM

I would love to, but on Jan the 7th this year she just took her LO out and I havnt heard from her since apart from some very nasty texts blaming me for her losing her job. To be honest with her not having a job, she has no money she can pay me with anyway!! She owes me for Oct, Nov and Dec, I said she had 30 days which as of yesterday has come to a close, I didnt put in the contract that I would be charging her for late fees ( i know i know a bit silly of me, but this contract was just a temp one til i joined the ncma and got theirs!)
so if I contacted her now and billed her for oct, nov and dec she wouldnt pay anything i dont think.

I would also be unsure of how to word it because I am aware she is family and in the past she has told her dad (my brother in law, who is my husbands boss) that I have charged her for all sorts and refused to have LO (which isnt true at all!!) so I would need to word it in a way that reminds her I gave her a service that she never paid for. and as for legal costs etc, wouldnt she get legal aid with her being a single mum on benefits with no job??!!

as far as I am concerned, I really want the money she owes me as I have been down with my income since october, I left work for her and she never paid, does it seem a bit silly only now going after it when the last time I had her little boy was before christmas??!

but as far as my OH is concerned he thinks it is just too much hassle and as his neice isnt a very nice person he doenst think she will pay anything and he just thinks the whole thing will get nastier and messier, so he wants me to "cut my losses" as he calls it.

xx

Pipsqueak · 01-02-2008, 10:45 AM

Your hubby could be right about cutting your losses but why on earth should you loose 3 months money - even if they are family.

Do you think your husband may suffer through his job with her dad? Is that a possible factor. Are the rest of the family aware of the situation and are they aware of how this woman is? If they are then you may not have too much to worry about.

**LittleMissSparkles** · 01-02-2008, 11:00 AM

this makes me so mad, I cant believe she still hasnt paid you ! and what sort of mother leaves their child sat in their own dirty nappy for over 2 hours ..... the poor little mite, if she didnt want him she should have used protection to start with, my B and SIL are unable to conceive and were devistated there are people out there who would love a child then you get people like her that dont give a shi** about their own children god it makes me mad.

Unless you feel there would be repercussions for you and your husband within the family I'd take her to court and maybe think about informing SS of your concerns for neglect if this wasnt a one off xxxx

**Cheeky Chops** · 01-02-2008, 11:16 AM

to be honest I was keeping a mental note of all the "neglect" that I witnessed while I was looking after him, but I didnt really think she was neglecting him and didnt have enough proof to do anything about it.

I have heard from other friends and family members that when at her dad's house or her mums she always asks both sides to change his nappy as she cant be bothered, she has asked my 9 yr old niece to do it before! he is always dressed nicely and is clean etc.

the only thing I would say is sometimes when he used to come to me she said "oh he is really tired today cos I had my mates round at 3.00am and he was awake, I gave him a bit of pizza/kebab so he might not be hungry either (he was 16mnths at the time!

)

He was always really good and a real sweetie to look after, he is 2 now and hasnt started speaking yet, but I am under the impression that when she isnt working she gets him up and lets him play and goes back to sleep, or goes back to her bedroom all day. At christmas time he was out of his routine with it being xmas then boxing day, on boxing day he was really tires because he was up all xmas day till 11 then up from 6am boxing day and had had no afternoon sleep, when she wanted to change his nappy, he was having non of it (due to exhaustion) and screamed the place down. she was changing him in the kitchen and shouting at him "do you want me to take you home, stop it etc" he is 2 and understands and speaks about 3 or 4 words, so how was he supposed to understand??!!

as she was doing this my OH family were all in the living room listening to her rant and all 10 of us looked uncomfortable and didnt really know where to look! Its the LO I feel sorry for, I bought the LO 3 outfits for xmas and my niece didnt even say thankyou to me or OH. She got a LeapPad toy for him from someone and I was talking to her on boxing day telling her that they were really good for child learning etc and asked her who bought her it, she replied with dont know dont care!

I wouldnt really say she neglected her LO, I would say she wasnt bothered by him and he is more of a hinderance to her, but you cant report her for that can you?! I would also go as far to say that she doesnt particularly "love" him either, which you cant report her for either! On boxing day she didnt once interact with her LO, not for cuddles or kisses or anything, he got his own food from the buffet table too and relied on his aunties, uncles and grandma, grandad to feed him bits n bobs. In the whole time I have had him and witnessed the 2 of them together I wouldnt say they had any sort of bond, when he falls over she just laughs at him and say's its the funniest thing cos he is so dumb, it just makes my day.

**LittleMissSparkles** · 01-02-2008, 11:36 AM

that is so sad and makes me want to cry the poor child having a mother so unloving and caring, that is heartbreaking to read about x

Pipsqueak · 01-02-2008, 11:42 AM

That whole post makes me feel so sad for the baby.

OK, it might not be "neglect" in the worst possible sense but it sounds like this mum may need extra help. To deliberately keep your child up whilst you party is awful.

No you cannot "report" her for not appearing to bond with her child but you can voice your concerns. I would actually go as far to say it is your professional duty - the welfare and well being of the child. Who knows what sort of impact this is going to have on the little one in years to come. What about if she starts to resent him more?
Can you talk to your development officer or a local health visitor and get their advice/guidance. Is there someone in the family who is close to her that may be able to talk to her. You could explain that you realise (due to your professional training) that she may need extra help in one form or another.
I know its hard, especially when its family involved but the safety and welfare of the little boys needs to come above anything else.

**Cheeky Chops** · 01-02-2008, 12:08 PM

I agree with you that her LO health and safety comes before anything, I have been thinking about talking to someone, I dont know about my health visitor as I am not aware of who they are

also my DO is a very busy lady and I can hardly get in contact with her!! I could mail her though i guess! There is no one in the family close to her as my niece takes everyone for granted and is generally rude to all of us apart from when she wants something! Could I speak to the NSPCC with my "concerns" although i am not sure if any details I gave would give me away as the informant. Also I am more than sure that my OH family would know it was me, and if they asked my OH i am sure he would cave and tell them it was me!!

I really feel for the LO, but his mum repeatedly blames me for the reason he is under developed. he was only with me 2 days a week and we always did things to stimulate his learning. so there isnt really anymore I could do. apart from perhaps talk to someone about my concerns i guess?!