MAJOR ugrent help needed please!

[pollypocket]

I have been registered over a year but have only just found first child.

As I have had no mindees I have taken on 2 flexible part-time jobs within the last year.

This first child is a 'friend' of mine although she isn't a good friend (at all) we just worked together briefly and we live close by but she's not spoken to me for 18 months until recently so we are not close at all and I use friend in the loosest term.

Anyway she wants her child picking up form the local school at 3pm and to have her until 5.30pm except one evening until 8pm. (I didn't know about the 8pm one until I had agreed).

I have to work one evening until 9pm it does tend to be flexible but this week I have to work thurs evening.

This lady is starting new job today. I ahve to pick child up at 3pm and have her at the lesiure centre and on the poolside for 4.30pm. I know leisure centre is out of my way but as I have waited for a mindee so long I thought it was worth it to go out my way that one evening. So I invoiced her the hours she TOLD me 3pm-5.30pm 3 days a week , swimming day just 3pm-4.30pm (my fuel costs to the leisure centre cancel out payment!) and one evening of 3pm-8pm.

So first issue is I double checked her Mum will be meeting me at 4.30pm at leisure centre as my son finishes his own school club 8 miles in the opposite direction at 4.45pm. "No" she says "My mum will be with you to collect daughter at approx 4.45pm after she's finished work" so I have to pull MY son out of his club and drag him to leisure centre and make him wait outside while I get her daughter changed etc for swimming. Naffed off number 1. Then I check she will be back to collect other days at 5.30pm. "No just after as I finish at 5.30pm but I am only down the road" She also cannot tell me what day she finishes at 8pm as it changes week on week. I have turned down over time in my day job at £7 per hour (xmas job) to have this child. My hours at that xmas are ad hoc so I can turn it down but it pains me as it is twice as much pay.

To top it off she has TOLD me to be in at 2.45pm today so she can drop swimming kit off for her daughter. So I am waiting in. Then she is paying me FOR THIS WEEK ONLY tomorrow. £43.25 I am earning this week from it.

It is my first child so I am grateful for the busines but I can see her having a lot of unpaid time with me and being put on as this woman has put on me before but not with her child with something else.

I am trying to be accomodating but I am constantly being told I am a push over.

I have no idea about contracts/retainers/deposits etc as it is so long since I did my training and this was dropped on me 3 days ago.

She also wants a cooked (organic) meal for her daughter every day. I do have 2 of my own kids too to fit in around her demands. I am charging £1 per meal.

Tips?!

[Bananabrain]

I have been registered over a year but have only just found first child.

As I have had no mindees I have taken on 2 flexible part-time jobs within the last year.

This first child is a 'friend' of mine although she isn't a good friend (at all) we just worked together briefly and we live close by but she's not spoken to me for 18 months until recently so we are not close at all and I use friend in the loosest term.

Anyway she wants her child picking up form the local school at 3pm and to have her until 5.30pm except one evening until 8pm. (I didn't know about the 8pm one until I had agreed).

I have to work one evening until 9pm it does tend to be flexible but this week I have to work thurs evening.

This lady is starting new job today. I ahve to pick child up at 3pm and have her at the lesiure centre and on the poolside for 4.30pm. I know leisure centre is out of my way but as I have waited for a mindee so long I thought it was worth it to go out my way that one evening. So I invoiced her the hours she TOLD me 3pm-5.30pm 3 days a week , swimming day just 3pm-4.30pm (my fuel costs to the leisure centre cancel out payment!) and one evening of 3pm-8pm.

So first issue is I double checked her Mum will be meeting me at 4.30pm at leisure centre as my son finishes his own school club 8 miles in the opposite direction at 4.45pm. "No" she says "My mum will be with you to collect daughter at approx 4.45pm after she's finished work" so I have to pull MY son out of his club and drag him to leisure centre and make him wait outside while I get her daughter changed etc for swimming. Naffed off number 1. Then I check she will be back to collect other days at 5.30pm. "No just after as I finish at 5.30pm but I am only down the road" She also cannot tell me what day she finishes at 8pm as it changes week on week. I have turned down over time in my day job at £7 per hour (xmas job) to have this child. My hours at that xmas are ad hoc so I can turn it down but it pains me as it is twice as much pay.

To top it off she has TOLD me to be in at 2.45pm today so she can drop swimming kit off for her daughter. So I am waiting in. Then she is paying me FOR THIS WEEK ONLY tomorrow. £43.25 I am earning this week from it.

It is my first child so I am grateful for the busines but I can see her having a lot of unpaid time with me and being put on as this woman has put on me before but not with her child with something else.

I am trying to be accomodating but I am constantly being told I am a push over.

I have no idea about contracts/retainers/deposits etc as it is so long since I did my training and this was dropped on me 3 days ago.

She also wants a cooked (organic) meal for her daughter every day. I do have 2 of my own kids too to fit in around her demands. I am charging £1 per meal.

Tips?!

Hello there, unfortunately in this job we tend to learn the hard way! I certainly did, taking on jobs that were a pain because I needed to get established. You need to be tougher! But I know it's easier said than done when you first start out.
Could you sit down and re-negotiate with mum? Have you got a settling in period? Whatever happens I think you need to have a chat with mum and tell her how you feel.
It is the case that the more you give, the more they will take.

[sonyach]

Oh you poor thing!! its not nice to be messed around and believe me they will if you let them. I think your going to have to get tough and tell her what's what, I know its easier said than done. What hours did she sign up for on the contract if its the 5.30pm finish then point it out. I think she is being very unreasonable and you need to tell her, you provide a service, its your business and I'd be tempted to get rid, is she really worth the hassle? I know you've waited a long time for your first mindee but you need to be happy with the situation. Hope you get it sorted sorry for ranting on so much.

[ajc]

I agree its really difficult when you first start out, but if it affects your own child as well then its not fair, tell her that you are unable to do swimming runs, how would you cope with this if you have other children in the future? I would tell her sooner rather than later, good luck.

[JCrakers]

Tips are simple You need to grow a pair as this is not on


I can understand your need for being accommodating due to lack of mindees but it really sounds like she's calling all the shots here. I for one would not be taking my own child out of a club because she's changed her mind on timings.
You need to use this as a learning experience as you will learn a lot from this.

You call the shots its your business, you will not wait in for deliveries of kit
You will not take orders from clients
You will make a contract from the start which states times and days clearly, stating the fee for each hour. So an extra 10mins after 5.30pm will be an extra hours fee on the bill.
You will also charge extra if she wants food and she will have to have what you cook as if she wanted someone who cooks organic then she should have looked around for someone

Sorry for sounding so cross, people like this really get my back up

[mum24]

Tips are simple You need to grow a pair as this is not on


I can understand your need for being accommodating due to lack of mindees but it really sounds like she's calling all the shots here. I for one would not be taking my own child out of a club because she's changed her mind on timings.
You need to use this as a learning experience as you will learn a lot from this.

You call the shots its your business, you will not wait in for deliveries of kit
You will not take orders from clients
You will make a contract from the start which states times and days clearly, stating the fee for each hour. So an extra 10mins after 5.30pm will be an extra hours fee on the bill.
You will also charge extra if she wants food and she will have to have what you cook as if she wanted someone who cooks organic then she should have looked around for someone

Sorry for sounding so cross, people like this really get my back up

I absolutely agree with all of this, I do know how hard it can be though, as I am something of a softie myself.

Write down all the hours you have worked, add in your petrol costs, sit down with mum and put this and the above to this mum. You cook what you do for your family, her little one can eat this or wait til she gets home. If she wants different hours each week, then if what she wants interferes with your sons club then her lo misses her club, not the other way round. You also should not have to wait around, different if you would be in anyway, but she needs to send kit with her daughter and not expect you to wait on her. And if she is late or changes the times at last minute she pays extra. Nurseries would not hesitate, you are offerering a much better service than that and deserve some respect.

So hard to do this, I know, but as I and many others here can testify, this will only get worse if you don't put things in writing, and in your favour. She is not doing you any favours, certainly you should not be working at a loss to accommodate this lady. And I personally charge more for evening meal, £2.50. Even that isn't a lot is it? I certainly couldn't go out and get a hot meal and desert with a drink for that.

[The Juggler]

agree with above advice hon. take a step back. meet with mum. tell her you think she has got the wrong end of the stick and you cannot continue to accommodate her requests as you are a CM not a nanny.

Tell her that you will continue with leisure centre drop until you get other mindees after which you may not be able to accommodate but will speak to her at the time.

Tell her it's not worth your while for such a short time and there will be a min. charge of 2 or 3 hours (whatever suits you).

If the late finish isn't working for you - tell her you trialled it but it is too late and xxpm is the latest you are prepared to work from now.


be strong

[wellybelly]

Ditto to all the great advice above.

I was a doormat (sorry, thats just how I describe myself for back then) for the first year, then I toughened up. It is now my rules, around my hours and at my discretion. Parents try but Im much more wiser to the conveinience for them and the incnvenience for me! I imagine you've chose childminding so it works round your children, so its important to remember your children and their own needs.

In time you will look back on this as experience. Dont feel bad if you have to let this one go xxx

[Ripeberry]

Not much more to add but if you are finding it all too much, then take great pleasure in telling her to
Over the years my own kids have not had any clubs because of mindees. But not in a million years would I take a mindee to a club whilst my own children miss out. It just illogical!

[~Grasshopper~]

no no no.

you need to be firm, you are in charge not her. you dont ask you tell.

dont pull your child from a club because she says so, no you need to decide what you want to do hours/ drop off wise and tell her firmly NOW. you can cancel the contract within 4 weeks normally (check your settling in period).

im really annoyed for you hun.

xx

[VeggieSausage]

yes i agree with the others, tell her that you were willing to work the contracted hours she requested but are not willing to do any extra, if she doesn't like it i would end the contract. Also if you didn't say you cooked organic food, tell her that you don't do organic food but you are happy for her to supply it for her child......this arrangement will really stress you out and end in disaster if you don't sort it out now....we have all been there when we first started.....good luck x

[MrsP2C]

I absolutely agree she's taking to pee & will continue to do so if you let her but as you clearly don't want to lose her I would suggest proposing a few practical solutions:
1. Swimming day - I *have* to leave at 4:30pm - either your mum gets here on time or I will take you daughter with me to get my DC and either drop her off/take her back to mine for collection (whichever suits you not giving her the choice!!) and obviously charge for the extra time.
2. 5:30pm finish - you are contracted to 5:30pm & if you pick up beyond this time will cost you the full hour. As you don't finish until 5:30 you *will* be beyond time so far better to extend the contracted hours by 15minutes to save you the extra you will pay in late fees (ie a full hour!)
3. Organic food - if you want organic food please provide it otherwise she eats what I cook for other mindees & my own children.

Good luck!

[Merry-Minder]

The best thing about our job is we get to pick and choose - I would choose to kick this one up the backside on her one way journey out of my front door!!

Take a deep breath and tell her on your terms that this is the way it is. Its very hard and extremely nerve wracking but once youve stood your ground you will feel a massive weight lifted off your shoulders.

Good luck.xxx

[hectors house]

Sounds like you will be running back and forward all over town at all hours, to earn only £43 when you could have just worked 6 hours in your part time job without all this , upsetting your own child in the process. As others have said she is confusing you with a nanny - only she would have to pay them 3 times as much per hour!

[mrs c]

Do you have a contract with her and if so why was the hours you are expected to work not in black and white and made clear from the outset? I have a 2week cooling off period in my contracts which in this type of situation gives me a chance to see if the arrangement is workable. What you are doing sounds like a lot of running around for very little return once you take your costs away from this - not to mention your own child losing out.
You have had some good advice given already and need to look at how to sort out this situation, sooner rather than later - get some ground rules set and charge accordingly. If you have worked more hours than you invoiced her for then let her know and give her another invoice.
Its your business and you should tell her how you work otherwise you will be unhappy with it all and thats worse than spending a little time getting this sorted. Good Luck