Cant take much more

[powerwomen]

Now i dont know really where to start but ill try and make it short as possible this is the only place where i can turn to.

I signed a new contract starting the 19th March on which i told the parent i had booked holiday with my other parents for the 11th and 12th of April,On my contract it is 4 weeks notice but i told them straight away to which they said i hadnt given them 4 weeks notice as the contract hadnt started, So i agreed half fees just to keep my mind clear and not get of on the wrong foot, Which they happily agreed to.

Anyway to keep the story short everything was going fine the kids loved coming to mine and the parents was very happy untill last week wednesday to which she said when she collected the kids she wanted to hand in her notice and it was nothing to do with me as the kids was so happy with me !!! and said that is fine if she could give me written confirmation thats fine 4 weeks notice, Thursday and Friday i had really bad flu so didnt work then on sunday at 9.40PM she sent me an email saying she was ending the contract because of 'unreliability' and she needed to come to me at 6 on monday evening to collect the kids things !!!!!!!!! to which i sent a nice email explaining thats fine but 4 weeks notice as per contract was needed plus 4 weeks money - her deposit was due and i would do an invoice and give it to her when she comes.

Monday comes i wait until gone 7 for her to come but she desides to come at 7.30PM !!!! when i was in the bath and relaxed and not ready for this fight.
I was nice handed her the kids things and her recipt for last week and my invoice to which she replyed in wasnt getting a penny of her and she wanted her £215 deposit back plus her half fees she paid for my holiday as she has spoken to NCMA and she is in right as she was never happy with my service and that she asked for refrences and never got them of me (well for one i had her children for over a montha and not once did she ever ask for a refrence and wouldnt u really want the refrence before i started the contract) anyway it gets worse she then said she was alos reporting me to Ofsted as SHE PAID SOMEONE TO FOLLOW ME WHILE I HAD HER KIDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i went to loads of diffrent houses that i shouldnt be going to and that her childrens welfere was at risk !!!!!!!!!!! (how much more can this women lie about )

I now really dont want to carry on childmidning this women has came in to my house infront of my son and really has made me think can i really handle some parents in this buisness.
I just wanted some advice from all the fellow childminders as i dont know where to turn or what to do.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I don't think NCMA would have given the parents any advice without seeing the contract.

So my question is how much settle in time is there on your contract? Why would the parent pay anything if you are taking 2 days off?

[silvermist]

OMG I think you need to ring NCMA yourself now, and ask their advice, they will also have a log if she did ring them however she probably didnt. They will be able to offer you guidance on the process. Poor you hun but remember, she is only one person, I think you should think carefully about giving up minding if you still enjoy it. Dont let one person change what you feel about things. Ring NCMA. Keep us posted. xx

[merry]

Are you with NCMA yourself? If so I would call them for advice on how to proceed. When you say 4 weeks notice is due plus 4 weeks as her deposit was due what do you mean, as you go on to say she wants her deposit back so must have paid it already?
As for the rest, paid someone to follow you threatening to report you to Ofsted, sounds like an empty threat to me, she's trying it on to make you back down. I wouldn't let her get away with it, maybe a pre-emptive call to Ofsted yourself to explain the situation.
If you are determined to get your notice money, and if she signed a contract agreeing to it you have every right to insist, I would keep all communication in writing so you have evidence, your insurer should be able to help with the procedure to follow to claim your notice fees.
Personally I would consider myself well rid and forget the notice money, sometimes it's just not worth the stress, however she wouldn't be getting a penny of the deposit or holidays paid for back.

[stargazer1]

Lots and lots of hugs!! How dare somebody come into your home and speak to you like that! And to get somebody to follow you, well you could very well argue that she was putting the welfare of the other children in your care at risk! How rude. I agree with Tinksplace, she is just one person. Try and see it that you have had a lucky escape from her! And as you know you have done nothing wrong, then let her complain!! You can't help being ill, if she needs more "reliability" than that then maybe she would be better off using a nursery. Maybe you could put something in writing to her explaining what she owes you, that illness cannot be helped etc, that the children are always safe and their safety is paramount which in your care, and that you will be pursuing the money that is owed as per the terms of the Contract she signed with you. As upsetting as it must be for you, I wouldn't let it go.

[boxtree7]

Sounds the like the family only wanted your EY number - Hope it all works out for you. x

[Linda Mc]

I know how you feel re parents coming into your home & making you feel uncomfortable! It happened to me a few months ago, new mindee still in settling in period & her parents both arrived at home time & sat down with a load of questions. While I had other mindees here! I tried to be as polite as possible & answer their questions but wish I was brave enough to say 'I'm working at the moment & can't give you my full attention, can we arrange another time to meet up & have a chat?'

They also wanted me to add extra things to little ones daily diary - not just what she ate but how much she ate, what time did she eat & did she like it Not just how many wet/soiled nappies she'd had but also the time of them.
Not just how many naps she'd had but times! It went on & on.

I know their child is the most important person in their lives but I also look after other little ones & just wouldn't have the time to keep checking the clock & updating the diary for one child.

There were a few other issues & after a fortnight I gave notice.

The only thing I would say, I may be wrong because I haven't been doing this very long, in the settling in period my contract says either party can give immediate notice & only pay for hours used. I don't take a deposit so I have no idea what happens with that.

She sounds like a nasty piece of work hon & you're well shot of her!

Take care & let us know what happens.

[jaja]

i recently had a family the same kind of thing, looved me the first few weeks really nice and got on really well, then all of a sudden reduced hours and the had a go at me in front of another parent because the care i gave there daughter, because the child refused to eat at home or with me, anyway to cut along story down, they wanted a refund and demanded it within 4 weeks told me that they had reported me, they hadnt, all went quiet for 4 weeks until i happened to be in the shop at the smae time, in front of my kids she asked for her money again and i said i had contacted my legal team adn they advised not to refund as i had carried out the full contract, this seemed to upset her and then starting saying she would report me to ofsted, i said ok please do as i feel that i couldnt of offered the child or family any more care than i had, she walked off saying i would be hearing of her again, up to now fingers crossed i havent heard from them.

it amazes me the amount of cruel people who upset childminders, bully and ruin the job because they dont want to pay for something that they have used, some people think they can walk all over us, be strong and ignore them, make sure your paperwork and stuff id up to date and start advertising, in 9 years i have only had 3 families like this, sending hugsxxxxxxxx

[jumpinjen]

Report her to the police for having you followed and threatening you - it isn't OK to behave like that - please don't give up for the sake of one horrible person.

Jen x

[loocyloo]

I know how you feel re parents coming into your home & making you feel uncomfortable! It happened to me a few months ago, new mindee still in settling in period & her parents both arrived at home time & sat down with a load of questions. While I had other mindees here! I tried to be as polite as possible & answer their questions but wish I was brave enough to say 'I'm working at the moment & can't give you my full attention, can we arrange another time to meet up & have a chat?'

They also wanted me to add extra things to little ones daily diary - not just what she ate but how much she ate, what time did she eat & did she like it Not just how many wet/soiled nappies she'd had but also the time of them.
Not just how many naps she'd had but times! It went on & on.

I know their child is the most important person in their lives but I also look after other little ones & just wouldn't have the time to keep checking the clock & updating the diary for one child.

There were a few other issues & after a fortnight I gave notice.

The only thing I would say, I may be wrong because I haven't been doing this very long, in the settling in period my contract says either party can give immediate notice & only pay for hours used. I don't take a deposit so I have no idea what happens with that.

She sounds like a nasty piece of work hon & you're well shot of her!

Take care & let us know what happens.

in my daily diary i DO write what time a meal is eaten, and if all/most/some/little is eaten! i also have a box that says wet nappy, dirty nappy and when i change LO i write the time next to it, plus for sleeps i write what time i put child down and when they wake up. it doesn't take me any longer than doing anything else, it means my parents have a fuller understanding of how their LOs day went, plus i have some children picked up by grandparents, so messages may get lost on the way !!! it also means i don't have to remember anything and also, if i want to check if a child likes a particular meal or if their sleep pattern is changing, i can quickly check the daily diary.

i agree though, the OP parent either just wanted the EY number, or needed care for a few weeks and now wants to get out of the contract! good luck xxx

[rickysmiths]

Now i dont know really where to start but ill try and make it short as possible this is the only place where i can turn to.

I signed a new contract starting the 19th March on which i told the parent i had booked holiday with my other parents for the 11th and 12th of April,On my contract it is 4 weeks notice but i told them straight away to which they said i hadnt given them 4 weeks notice as the contract hadnt started, So i agreed half fees just to keep my mind clear and not get of on the wrong foot, Which they happily agreed to.

Anyway to keep the story short everything was going fine the kids loved coming to mine and the parents was very happy untill last week wednesday to which she said when she collected the kids she wanted to hand in her notice and it was nothing to do with me as the kids was so happy with me !!! and said that is fine if she could give me written confirmation thats fine 4 weeks notice, Thursday and Friday i had really bad flu so didnt work then on sunday at 9.40PM she sent me an email saying she was ending the contract because of 'unreliability' and she needed to come to me at 6 on monday evening to collect the kids things !!!!!!!!! to which i sent a nice email explaining thats fine but 4 weeks notice as per contract was needed plus 4 weeks money - her deposit was due and i would do an invoice and give it to her when she comes.

Monday comes i wait until gone 7 for her to come but she desides to come at 7.30PM !!!! when i was in the bath and relaxed and not ready for this fight.
I was nice handed her the kids things and her recipt for last week and my invoice to which she replyed in wasnt getting a penny of her and she wanted her £215 deposit back plus her half fees she paid for my holiday as she has spoken to NCMA and she is in right as she was never happy with my service and that she asked for refrences and never got them of me (well for one i had her children for over a montha and not once did she ever ask for a refrence and wouldnt u really want the refrence before i started the contract) anyway it gets worse she then said she was alos reporting me to Ofsted as SHE PAID SOMEONE TO FOLLOW ME WHILE I HAD HER KIDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i went to loads of diffrent houses that i shouldnt be going to and that her childrens welfere was at risk !!!!!!!!!!! (how much more can this women lie about )

I now really dont want to carry on childmidning this women has came in to my house infront of my son and really has made me think can i really handle some parents in this buisness.
I just wanted some advice from all the fellow childminders as i dont know where to turn or what to do.

You need to phone Ofsted straight away and tell them she has threatened you on your own doorstep and would they make a note of it on your file. Tell them she has left your care and is disputing money with you.

The above is very important because if she does make a complaint to Ofsted then you have already told them and this will count in your favour.

Don't speak to her again. I doubt that NCMA would have given her the advise she says they had because they don't do that with parents.

It is not clear if she has paid you a Deposit or not? Is it a deposit taken to cover the four weeks notice period? It really depends on what you have on your contract.

The two days holiday I would have done free because they fell so close to the start of your contract, no ones fault it happens when parents join in the middle of the year. I tell my parents my holiday at the end of Feb so if anyone comes in after that my holiday is set and they have to accept that when they sign the contract and the four weeks notice can not apply in those circumstances and no one would expect it to. I would stand for nonsense from a parent over it if I had told them before signing a contract. I would have given them a letter with my holiday dates dated the same as the contract so there could be no argument and get them to sign that they have received it.

If a parent leaves me in the four weeks settling in period they have to pay me for any care they have received and just because we don't have to physically have to give notice the payment for 4 weeks notice is paid in lieu of notice.

This is why I take a four week deposit when a contract is signed and I keep it to cover the four weeks notice at the end of the contract. I now, because I had an experience like you have had last year, have a strict fees policy and if a parent leaves me within 6 months or reduces their hours/days in that time they loose all or that proportion of the deposit.

Document everything down to her lateness, rudeness etc etc. Make sure all your paperwork etc is all up to date in case Ofsted come calling, then hold your head up high and carry on.

I am an experienced cm, 18 years, and I have had two families like this in the last nine months 2 months apart and both made complaints to Ofsted a good 6-8 weeks after leaving because I refused to give them a full refund! One threatened me on my doorstep said she was going to wait for my families to collect and stand and tell them everything except there was nothing to tell! Also very important is to tell your current parents, not the detail but that there is an issue going on and she has threatened you and you have reported her to Ofsted but you wanted them to know in case she saw any of them. I must say all my parents were so supportive and couldn't understand what the woman was doing or why. But they made up Welfare issues which because of signed registers and robust paperwork I was able to immediately show, was were wrong and the complaints were not upheld. one was that there was no evidence of age appropriate activities for her reception age child I had been inspected 6 weeks before this, she had visited my setting to book her child in 3 months before and had seen what I had and as anyone who knows me will tell you I have shed loads of stuff and the child concerned had been as happy as larry

There are unfortunately some horrible people out there at the moment it would seem.

I would write her a letter confirming when care stopped (refer to her written notice) what monies are still due and why and give her a time, I would say 14 days is reasonable to pay.

Also politely say that you do not feel that her threatening behaviour was appropriate especially the inference that she had had you followed and that you have reported this to Ofsted. If she does this again or you find anyone is following you, you will dial 999 to report it to the police as it is harassment and threatens the safety of the children in your care.

be very clear and polite and send it recorded delivery or put it through her letter box.

Don't loose heart. You are a professional. Don't let silly people like this get to you.

[Linda Mc]

I know how you feel re parents coming into your home & making you feel uncomfortable! It happened to me a few months ago, new mindee still in settling in period & her parents both arrived at home time & sat down with a load of questions. While I had other mindees here! I tried to be as polite as possible & answer their questions but wish I was brave enough to say 'I'm working at the moment & can't give you my full attention, can we arrange another time to meet up & have a chat?'

They also wanted me to add extra things to little ones daily diary - not just what she ate but how much she ate, what time did she eat & did she like it Not just how many wet/soiled nappies she'd had but also the time of them.
Not just how many naps she'd had but times! It went on & on.

I know their child is the most important person in their lives but I also look after other little ones & just wouldn't have the time to keep checking the clock & updating the diary for one child.

There were a few other issues & after a fortnight I gave notice.

The only thing I would say, I may be wrong because I haven't been doing this very long, in the settling in period my contract says either party can give immediate notice & only pay for hours used. I don't take a deposit so I have no idea what happens with that.

She sounds like a nasty piece of work hon & you're well shot of her!

Take care & let us know what happens.

Sorry I've just re read your message & realised you said March & not April, I thought nightmare woman was still in the 'settling in period'. That's what happens when you speed read! lol

[karen m]

Sorry to hear this,but don't let it put you off you get excellent,average,awful parents the first 2 far out way the 3 . I had a family 3 years ago who refused payment she went to Ofsted but they can see when it is someone trying to get away with not paying ,her partner had been to my house and threatened me but i called the police and informed Ofsted first,18 months later she apologised and said she was having family troubles

[miffy]

It sounds like this woman is just trying to intimidate you into returning her deposit without having to pay the notice period - don't let her.

Unpleasant though she's being, you have done nothing wrong. Maybe she did just want your EY number to claim tax credits I don't know but don't let her put you off childminding. There are lots of nice parents out there, just unfortunate that you have had such a horrible experience so soon after registering.

Miffy xx

[Heaven Scent]

Am I right in thinking -

Family paid £215 deposit - on what terms was the deposit given?

Children started with you on 19th March

You took 2 days hols on 11th & 12th April which they agreed to pay half rate for before signing the contract (or when they signed it - what date was the contract signed? Does your contract state that you charge full pay even if you don't work - do you charge in full when they are sick or on holiday too?

Did you charge for the 2 days you were ill?

Do you have references that you can show?

Do you take the children to other peoples houses? - Are they Childminders too? Do you tell the parents that this is part of your routine before they sign contracts?

What period of time did you put for Settling in - if its 4 weeks then she is definitely outside that and you are withing your rights to withhold the deposit in lieu of paid notice.

As others have said you need to ring Ofsted to cover your back and you need to speak to NCMA to find out if she did call and what they would have said to her.

You also do need to contact the police and tell them that she claims to have paid someone to follow you - if she is harassing you or threatening you this needs to be reported also.

Do you have other mindees who you would have been caring for when she supposedly had you followed?

The other thing you need to do is write down everything that happened and date everything - when something similar happened to me I wrote everything in my diary on the the day it happened so that if anything ever came back to bite me in the future I would have it because I keep all my diaries relating to Childminding.

I hope this helps - also don't let her get you down.

[lollipop kid]

Hi, on top of the excellent advice so far, please don't forget to call Tax Credits helpline - 0300 300 3900. Have the start and end dates ready for the care that you provided for this family, and tell the Tax Credits people so they have a note of it against your Ofsted number. Then, if she is still trying to use your Ofsted number, she may get a nice letter from them.

http://search2.hmrc.gov.uk/kb5/hmrc/...rd=TC_tM5uswa0

(I've had to do this myself once to stop someone abusing the system when they left suspiciously early in the contract, and the fact that Tax Credits called me back for more details make me think that I was justified.) If it helps, there's a "Termination" letter on the Bromley NCMA childminding site that you should add to your files, as it contains a section on Tax Credits and you may find it a useful tool to give to parents at the end of contracts.

Don't be put off. Paperwork, although irksome sometimes, gives you the strongest of foundations. Good luck with everything. Big hug.

[Linda Mc]

in my daily diary i DO write what time a meal is eaten, and if all/most/some/little is eaten! i also have a box that says wet nappy, dirty nappy and when i change LO i write the time next to it, plus for sleeps i write what time i put child down and when they wake up. it doesn't take me any longer than doing anything else, it means my parents have a fuller understanding of how their LOs day went, plus i have some children picked up by grandparents, so messages may get lost on the way !!! it also means i don't have to remember anything and also, if i want to check if a child likes a particular meal or if their sleep pattern is changing, i can quickly check the daily diary.

i agree though, the OP parent either just wanted the EY number, or needed care for a few weeks and now wants to get out of the contract! good luck xxx

That's great if it works for you hon However, for me personally it wouldn't. I'm full five days a week from 8am to 6pm & I find it hard enough at the best of times to keep up with my paperwork & look after the little ones.

This particular mindee only had lunch at my house & I did say to her parents we usually had lunch between 12 & 1, would also tell them if she'd ate it all etc.

I do do detailed daily diaries for each child & I also make a note of any 'WOW' moments to share with my parents but keep clock watching is just not for me!

[powerwomen]

Thank you all so much for all your advice i knew i can relay on you all,Sorry i havent been back on my laptop packed up on me

The parent paid a one week deposit that as per contract gets refunded at the end of the contract.

I have spoken to NCMA and they advice me to send her a letter giving her 14 days to pay which i sent special del yesterday,but i was out all day with the kids yesterday to the ball park and when i returned home i had a 2 page letter waiting for me threatning me again with Ofsted and NCMA with lies and lies and more lies from her, i was even supposed to go out for the night but it just made me so upset i just went to bed.

In the letter she stated that on a sunday i just turned up to her house when on the friday before hand she asked if i could pop round some time the weekend to have a talk !!!!!! which i didnt have to do as its a weekend and my time but i did !!!! then she went on to say she always felt stressed by me and that she asked for refrences everyday but i refused to give her any !!!! which NOT ONCE did she ever ask for one and i always show new parents my refrences before she even signed the contract, then that i took the children out and left them in the car all on there own and the best part was that she couldnt start work when she was supposed to becuase of me !!! when really she told me she would be putting her date back to work back as she was also doing a uni course and she had loads of work to do as she was so behind also that when she come round my house and she was explaining all her troubles the first time that i told her she was only bringing up all this because i was asking for money and i told her to forget the money !!!! Like i am really that mad to tell her that !!!!!!
She has given me 7 days to reply

I know i havent done anything wrong but you know i work nearly 12 hours everyday and to have this on my case is the last thing i need and im getting really streesed i am going to ring Ofsted on tuesday and all my paperwork is up to date so if they do come im ready also i have got up to date refrences from my parents and they were all fantastic

[Baildon bears]

Don't let this horrible women beat you , You stick to your guns and fight her every step of the way, you have done nothing wrong and people like this need to be named and shamed, it makes my blood boil. Big hugs ,we all with you to support you in any way we can.

[jumpinjen]

Write a letter back that is very factual. start off by acknowledging receipt of her letter dated xx/xx/xx.

then state thatit is a separate matter to the contract/payment issue and that you will correspond separately about them both.

then say that you are following your complaints policy/procedure and enclose a copy for her information. 9make sure you follow it!!)

then say that she has raised a number of issues/concerns and you will address each one of them for her:

Bullet point each of the concerns/issues that she has raised, say what she said then say your answer to each of them e.g. that as far as you were concerned she had asked you to go round on the sunday and that it is in your diary.

Say that you hope that these clear up her concerns but if she wishes to discuss the issues further to put them in writing to you.

round up by saying that you will not tolerate threatening behaviour towards yourself and have and will report such actions to the police.

Make sure that a copy is kept for yourself, once again post by special delivery. keep on about the money as a separate issue, follown up after the 14 days etc. Write up the complaint as per your complaints policy and what action you have taken. perhaps reflect and say what you could/would do in the future to avoid some of the issues (I am NOT saying that any of this is your fault but it will be appreciated if ofsted get involved as it will show you taking action and reflecting and improving practice)

HTH, big hugs, Jen x