A girl who won't play with/near boys?

**Beetlejuice** · 12-02-2012, 02:02 AM

I have a new little girl (15 mnths) who has difficulty sharing - not a huge issue at her age - but she goes ballistic when other mindees (both boys) are near her/in her personal space/wanting to play. She has tendency to hit out at them or scream and I'm unsure how to deal with it? I've told her we don't hit and showed her how to stroke their arms nicely rather than hit by catching her arm before she hits them. I am trying to put together a plan for next steps (also as part of my OU course) and I'm having trouble thinking of ways to get her to mix with them. She seems totally at ease with older children in the setting (interestingly all girls) but really has issue with the two boys (one aged 2 and one just turned 1). Ideally I need to think of actvities to promote working together - perhaps cooking activities for her and the older of the two boys? How can I get a child of that age to co-operate with the other children/socialise? We go to groups but when she's playing at the active world tray etc and a boy comes over she will purposely walk away. Would puppets during story time/acting out the story help do you think or is that beyond her?

Any ideas?

Many thanks

B x

**Playmate** · 12-02-2012, 08:40 AM

I find this quite common around this age, we currently have 3 aged between 13 months and 18 months and the 13 month old is the same. most of the time when she gets upset we just find her some more space and reasure. It is something they usually just grow out of as they gain confidence.

Just one thing Beetlejuice, what on earth are you doing thinking and posting about your mindees whilst you are on holiday??

Will you please forget about them and go and enjoy yourself and that is an order!

**sarah707** · 12-02-2012, 12:25 PM

When I had a similar little one I gave her a space of her own - a little corner with a cushion, sensory basket etc.

When she was overwhelmed I guided her gently to the area, stroking her arm and saying a sort of shush noise.

She very quickly learned to take herself off there when it all got too much for her.

I use the same sort of thing now for children who arrive a bit stressed and need somewhere secure to play until they are ready to join in.

Hth

**Beetlejuice** · 12-02-2012, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by Playmate

Just one thing Beetlejuice, what on earth are you doing thinking and posting about your mindees whilst you are on holiday??

Will you please forget about them and go and enjoy yourself and that is an order!

I would love to hon but I'm writing TMA3 for E100 and she is my focus child!! I always take planning etc with me as the television here is pants and also it gives me an excuse not to sit with my inlaws all evening once the kids are in bed

If I'm studying they leave me alone - aside from bringing me cups of tea - so you see it's win/win for me

In the afternoons it's not so bad as she doesn't nap as long as the other kids so she does get some 1:1 time with me so exploring the 'Islands of Intimacy' theory - we play together or do craft together just the two of us which she loves but once the other children are up she's a changed child. I need her to get used to the fact they ARE and WILL BE other children beside her in the setting and work on her social skills.

**singlewiththree** · 12-02-2012, 04:01 PM

My 18mth boy mindee does the same but I've noticed its only with my children, the minded children and those we see regularly. At toddler group an unfamiliar child came up and took his cars and he didn't bother at all. If any of the children mentioned had done that, or even looked at them he would have thrown a fit.

**Playmate** · 12-02-2012, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by Beetlejuice

I would love to hon but I'm writing TMA3 for E100 and she is my focus child!! I always take planning etc with me as the television here is pants and also it gives me an excuse not to sit with my inlaws all evening once the kids are in bed

If I'm studying they leave me alone - aside from bringing me cups of tea - so you see it's win/win for me

In the afternoons it's not so bad as she doesn't nap as long as the other kids so she does get some 1:1 time with me so exploring the 'Islands of Intimacy' theory - we play together or do craft together just the two of us which she loves but once the other children are up she's a changed child. I need her to get used to the fact they ARE and WILL BE other children beside her in the setting and work on her social skills.

Ok I will let you off!! enjoy the daytime