2 year old crying asking for mummy a lot.
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  1. #1
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    Default 2 year old crying asking for mummy a lot.

    hi everyone

    I'm hoping someone can give me some tips on how to help this little girl settle in with me.
    She comes for 2 full days, and has been coming for about 2 months now, with a break at half term. She settled in quite well at first, but since half term has been more tearful and asks for her mum, getting quite upset about it.
    Before now shes only ever been looked after by family.

    I can distract her out of it with games and playing, but it only works temporarily and then she starts up again. It can be at any time if day, sometimes after being quite happy with me for a couple of hours first.
    It almost never happens if we're out. Except if I don't let her have something for e.g. sweets.

    It is worst of all at toddler group where I either have to carry her about, or leave her to cry whilst I see to other children. Interestingly she often goes off to play eventually, but will start up crying again when she sees me.

    Quite often by the end of the day she gets her self really worked up to the point of being inconsolable, refusing dinner or any attempt to comfort her.

    Any ideas what's going on here, or what I should do to resolve the situation!

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Poor little thing. By dinner time she has probably just had enough, is getting tired and just wants to be home. It is a really long day for some of them - especially if they are home sick. Also, some children find toddler groups over whelming and that can make her even more insecure whilst she is there. If she was your only mindee then it might be worth staying away from playgroups until she had settled, but when you have other mindees who get a lot out of playgroup you wouldn't be wanting to do that. At least there are little breaks in your day when she is not crying - hopefully these will become longer periods of time. If you type 'separation anxiety' into the search box you will find lots of posts on this subject and might find some good ideas there. x

  3. #3
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    Thanks I will try doing that. I feel bad for her and also think what would the parents think if they could see her so upset, and what would they want me to do?

    I do tell them at pick up and in her diary.

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  5. #4
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    Just wondering about the sweets situation which you mention and refusing dinner. Could it be connected to her being upset? Just a thought.

  6. #5
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    Do you mean that she's hungry? The sweets was just an example of maybe times when I've had to say no to her, she then starts asking for mummy because she's upset with me!!

  7. #6
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    At 2yrs old she hasn't got the language or understanding to understand why you are saying no, can you say no without using the actual word e.g get down to her level and say we don't have sweets here, we can't do xxx at the moment lets go and do xxx take her by the hand and do the activity, when she cries for mummy acknowledge her with a cuddle yes l know you want mummy she will be here soon and again lets do xxxx l agree playgroups can be over whelming either stop for a while or let her sit with you on your lap if she wanders off to play keep looking at her with a smile and a wave or l'm here, don't move from your chair without letting her know, she needs the security of knowing you are still in the same place and she starts to cry when she sees you out of relief that she can see you, mum disappears you might as well.

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  9. #7
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    A photo album from home with photos of LO and mum/dad etc has helped here in the past, especially with an 18mth old who was missing mum. She loved looking through the photos, pointing to them and saying who they were. If she asked for mummy we'd get out the photos and talk about them. Worked a treat.

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  11. #8
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    I have a similar situation and Mum "whatsapp" pics of what they have been doing as a family so we have positive things to chat about. Also Mum discusses great things that are happening here for instance we've got the caterpillars so gets LO excited to come - it does help. I am honest with parents and firmly believe getting them on board helps xx

  12. #9
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    Ooh also I put up a visual timetable so when LO gets upset and wants Mummy we look at the timetable together and talk about what we are going to be doing before Mummy comes. My LO responds really well to this - worth a try x

  13. #10
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    Love those ideas thanks so much!
    The playgroup is the first thing we do when she comes after a weeks break, so I think we may have to have a break from it for a while. Which is a shame because I'm one of the helpers and other children really like it there.

    Thanks everyone

 

 

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