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View Full Version : Does anyone else find it sad when ..?



Little Pickles
10-04-2012, 02:24 PM
I was just wondering if anyone else finds it sad when families take time off work to look after older siblings who are off school but still send little ones to childminders . I have this happen often and I find it so sad especially when both parents are home and yet they still ship LO off to childminder - and stay home with older child. I had one child once who felt so rejected by this that they didn't speak to anyone till lunchtime - I told parent and made a record of it in daily diary . I can understand the odd day when one parent wants to spend time with child on its own but when the child is old enough to understand that everyone else is at home or going on an outing it just seems cruel and makes it seem like a punishment to come here.
Does anyone else feel like this ??

Mouse
10-04-2012, 02:33 PM
I suppose many parents feel that as they are having to pay us, they might as well send the child. And for most younger children I think it's good to keep to their ususal routine. I have had parents continue sending younger children to me when the older ones are at home, but it's not something I really think about. If anything, I tend to think it's nice for parents & older child to spend some time together.

I would probably feel differently if any of my mindees had ever been upset by it, but none of them have. But as I'm still charging I don't feel in a position to suggest they keep the child at home with them.

buzzy bee
10-04-2012, 02:42 PM
I do think it's sad on certain occasions when parents are off but still send LOs, especially when LO is ill and parents are off work and still send them.

But I also understand that something it's nice to have a day without LO and also it must be nice for older siblings to be able to do older things with mum+dad without having LOs around.

It's a tough one though.

uf353432
10-04-2012, 02:48 PM
I ve a few that come in the holidays when older siblings are at home with mum and dad and I personally think its fine. I'd give my eye teeth to have some quality time with my oldest whilst my youngest had a play date or something similar. I don't think the problem is that they send their child in your respect - I think its the way that they communicate that to the child. I would almost underplay the day they were having, so them going to play at their childminders was much more exciting.

AgentTink
10-04-2012, 02:50 PM
All my families do this on odd occassions, and i can understand these times to spend with older child. However they also have days with younger child when older child is out at a friends etc. Time alone with parents is important in my opinion.

However i have had one family 9 months, and the mindee has been sent to me everyday except for the 7 days I have had as holiday. Every day over summer, christmas, half terms and this easter, the mindee has been with me while one of the parents is at home with the older sibling. This is the same family, who until recently, did not collect the mindee until 6pm on the dot even though all three of them had been at home since 330, and each week would go out for tea one night, and another night go swimming, and then on another night go to soft play center. It is this mindee who I feel most sad for. His parents often say about him "there is always one good one, and one bad one" :(

kellib
10-04-2012, 03:14 PM
I have parents who send LO in holidays even though they have an older LO at one with at least one parent, it's only for 2 days a week though so they do still have time at home with both children.

Mum says she sends him because she promised she would always send him 2 days a week to make it worth my while but in the holidays if I don't want to work then I just say so and it's not a problem :thumbsup:

Ripeberry
10-04-2012, 04:17 PM
If you are still open then I don't blame the parents for still sending the younger one. They need to get their money's worth :rolleyes:

onceinabluemoon
10-04-2012, 04:49 PM
I try not to feel negatively about it as I'm sure the LO would pick up on my feelings if I did. I would big it up as exciting they get to come and play with me while sis/bro has to stay at home.

In your case, I should imagine mum is glad to have some time with just the older child and do 'older child' stuff without having to consider a little one.

Little Pickles
10-04-2012, 05:29 PM
Thanks for all your views , I understand that sometimes its nice to spend one to one time with older ones sometimes but when it's the rest of the family having paid time off from work I think it's a bit sad that they don't want to
Spend time all together as a family. Some
Families do it all the time and the younger one never gets one to one as the older one is always around. I do make a big effort to make sure that LO has a great time ( as always ) but it's hard to make up for the fact that they are missing out on being with their family which is naturally what they prefer

fionamadcat
11-04-2012, 08:28 AM
I have 1 family who did this at christmas and half term and the poor wee girl was so upset and didn't want to come here however this holiday they have decided that they will keep her with them most days, she is only coming to me friday but dad has a hospital apointment and has asked if I can have older brother too which I can so all is good. Although I do understand about parents getting their moneys worth and do not grudge parents sending their los to me when they are off I do feel sorry for them if an older sibling is at home having fun or off on a day out especially when they get the 3/4 age and they understand.

kindredspirits
11-04-2012, 08:45 AM
This is the same family, who until recently, did not collect the mindee until 6pm on the dot even though all three of them had been at home since 330, and each week would go out for tea one night, and another night go swimming, and then on another night go to soft play center. It is this mindee who I feel most sad for. His parents often say about him "there is always one good one, and one bad one" :(

that actually made me cry. poor little thing :(

MaryMary
11-04-2012, 10:44 AM
I look after a 2yo 4 mornings a week. I also had her 2 older brothers (4 & 7) in the holidays, although that had changed from this holiday. To be honest, I found the eldest hard work, as everything I try is not good enough. He huffs & puffs & sighs that he is bored. This happened on days out (dinosuar exhibit at local museum), groups we have gone to (with children his own age), at home (even when we do what he has asked!! :angry:) When mum suggested that I just have the 2yo in the holidays, I was relieved!

I was a little taken aback last Thursday though, when I handed her the eggs I had got for all 3 of them, explaining that I had made something for the 2yo instead of chocolate (has a milk protein intollerance). She was looking puzzled, then suddenly said 'Oh, aren't you having her tomorrow?' (Good Friday) :eek: I said no, it's a bank holiday (which she isn't charged for), and so is Monday. The poor little lamb would have been dropped of at 9 if I hadn't said anything :panic: The weird thing is, that she works from home, so is around anyway. She says she can't work around the 2 yo, but she is as good as gold! The 7yo is harder work as he needs constant entertainment :(