Meals I'm providing!

[Belly2009]

Hi,

Not sure where to post this but I am in need of some advice.

I'm new to childminding and have my first set of children who seem to have issues with eating. The baby came to me eating only puréed food at 11 months and would only take a few spponfuls before point blank refusing to eat anything else. However if they saw a yogurt, they would eat that with no problem whatsoever. I seemed to have rectified her eating with not much problem.

However, the other child is extremely picky and their mother has asked that healthy meals are provided to them. They must eat at 4pm (my own children don't eat until 5.30/6ish) therefore, I provide their meals altogether. One of my children refuse to eat as its too early and will eat later with us. My eldest will eat with the mindees and then ask again for something later. As you can imagine, this is a nightmare and costing a fortune.

The mindee refuses to eat anything apart from sausage, mash, beans, pasta and when being provided with vegetables or shepards pie - he pushes it around the plate and complains his throat is hurting. :-( I've mentioned this to his parents who said they will make sure he is not provided with milk and biscuit or anything else before bed! I found out that despite saying this he is being provided a meal at home....

Which leads me on till today. His parent took me aside to say he has made an issue about mealtimes at my house and he dislikes the food I provide! To the point his parent said he was stressing about the menu at the begginning of each week. Therefore, Ive been asked to provide dinners like sausage beans and mash and oven type food (my children don't eat this)

I need some advice what to do....

Thanks

[Mouse]

It's your business, your house and your rules.

I would ask parents to come in for a chat and explain how you work. Tell them what sort of meals you provide and don't let yourself feel pressured or bullied into changing. Explain that their children are not fitting in with how you run your business, so suggest a change.
At 4pm you will give the children a light snack which will last them through until they can have their evening meal at home with parents. This will be better for the children as they will eat what they want and better for the parents as they know what the children are having and can stop stressing about what you are feeding the children. Word it that you are doing it for their benefit :thumbsup:

[Belly2009]

That's exactly what I thought! Being from a law background I normally would not have a problem stating this, but for some reason I seem to have lost my confidence - probably out of my comfort zone.

I was actually going to say something as my 2 year old is beginning to pick those habits up from him and will now only eat beans!!! You can imagine just a struggle that one is!!

:-)

Thanks for the advice.


It's your business, your house and your rules.

I would ask parents to come in for a chat and explain how you work. Tell them what sort of meals you provide and don't let yourself feel pressured or bullied into changing. Explain that their children are not fitting in with how you run your business, so suggest a change.
At 4pm you will give the children a light snack which will last them through until they can have their evening meal at home with parents. This will be better for the children as they will eat what they want and better for the parents as they know what the children are having and can stop stressing about what you are feeding the children. Word it that you are doing it for their benefit :thumbsup:

[cs01]

I agree with Mouse.

I don't think it is acceptable for a parent to dictate what food you should be offering their child and I certainly wouldn't be preparing a meal for mindees at 4pm then start all over again for my own family.

Perhaps the parent could provide you with a meal which you could reheat?

Personally I think the best option is to provide a substantial snack at 4pm, then the child eats at home.

[Kiddleywinks]

Stop providing meals...;)

"their mother has asked that healthy meals are provided" conflicts greatly with her new request of "Ive been asked to provide dinners like sausage beans and mash and oven type food"

Or suggest that as YOUR setting/family mealtime is 5.30/6 your are more than happy to reheat food that the parent supplies

Don't feel pushed into doing something you're not happy/comfortable with, this is YOUR business, not hers :thumbsup:

[Belly2009]

Thanks......forgot to mention he is in fact school dinners so I wonder whether he is actually eating anything at lunchtime also?

[FussyElmo]

Or he is eating his school dinner and not wanting another cooked meal at 4/430

Simple stop meals - give a light snack and let parents feed them :thumbsup:

[Belly2009]

Done - your right!!!

I need to woman up and run my business the way I want it to be run!!

[Mouse]

That's exactly what I thought! Being from a law background I normally would not have a problem stating this, but for some reason I seem to have lost my confidence - probably out of my comfort zone.

I was actually going to say something as my 2 year old is beginning to pick those habits up from him and will now only eat beans!!! You can imagine just a struggle that one is!!

:-)

Thanks for the advice.

It does take time to build up your confidence in this job! We're working very much alone & you start to question what you're doing & saying. That's why this forum is so good - you can rely on getting good advice which either confirms what you are thinking, or gives another viewpoint that you might not have though of :thumbsup:

[QualityCare]

Agree with Chrissee H stop providing meals, snack at 4.00 and no cooked meals, l stopped years ago and never had a complaint or a request to do so all my parents provide whatever meal is required whilst children are in my care all children will be eating different from sandwiches to a heated full meal, but this has never caused a problem if a child says l don't like this l just reply with mummy wouldn't send something you don't like, all parents provide a healthy meal and snacks. Should a parent forget the lunch box l will provide the child with a meal (l do not charge for this) no one has ever took advantage of this.

[Tealady]

Or he is eating his school dinner and not wanting another cooked meal at 4/430

Simple stop meals - give a light snack and let parents feed them :thumbsup:

My DD can't or won't eat two cooked meals a day and she is on school dinners. He may be eating really well at school so just doesn't want another dinner.

I only cook for children at Lunchtime and then provide a nursery tea at 4.45. If parents don't want to cook for their school age child when they get home then they need to be on school dinners.

[rickysmiths]

You don't say how old the child is? However I have a simple rule. I only provide dinner if the child is with me after 5pm but I prefer that parents give their child dinner if the child has been with me all day because it gives them an opportunity to spend some time with their child before bed. I do a cooked lunch.

If the child leaves before 5pm I will give a substantial snack and drink at 4pm ish to keep them going until they get home for dinner. That snack would be a sandwich or toast, fruit, cheese. Always cold food.

I know what you mean about providing meals for the mindees and your children. I don't think I would say to the parents about my child learning bad habits though! I would just do the above, I used to give my two and any mindees I still had with me dinner at 5.30pm and it was what was on offer or nothing. I did do things like fish fingers and nuggets sometimes but I also do casserole, curries, fish pie, shepherds pie as well.

I would listen to a parent about a child's preferences and about any allergies but I would not be dictated to by a parent.

I also choose not to accept any packed meals. Its my Food Hygiene background! I have no control over food coming into my setting, how it has been cooked, has it been frozen, how long has it been in the fridge at home. Also I find it can cause problems to have several children eating different food. But that is just the way I prefer to do things.

I think you need a meeting with the parents.

[Little Pickles]

If you are needing reasons not to provide the oven food that mum is suggesting that she supplies then you could also point out that it is part of your welfare requirements to provide healthy meals ? Quote the EYFS if needs be !

[Belly2009]

Hi,

Thanks for all your advice - really does mean a lot!

Thought I would give you an update and how it has been hopefully resolved.

The parent and I have had an open and frank discussion about the situation. I explained my position EYFS, my children and what I am prepared to do eg snack at 4pm

The parent was very understanding but insisted I hadn't done anything wrong and said she would prefer the child to eat here as by the time they are settled into a routine at home it's too late to eat.

I asked again for a list of foods and meals that he eats and it appears he has an issue with mixed foods such as Shepards Pie!! I've gone back through and checked the all about me form and nothing is there.

The child behaves the same at home and has started behaving like this here because his father has said he can eat at home with them (hence why this has all started suddenly). I've taken a list of meals and will sit down with the mindee this afternoon to incorporate those foods for next weeks menu. I've agreed with his mum that I will send home a note to say how he is eating rather than her asking when collecting as I do feel he is aware of what's going on and trial that for the next couple of weeks.

I have said of this is not recitified I will provide either a snack or a meal from home must be provided.

Ideally, a snack would be easier but I have to agree with the person whom said about the food coming into her home.


Hopefully this has now been rectified and the parents were really understanding which I'm so relived about :-)

Thank you again everyone :-)

Oh and it's sausage beans and mash for dinner :-)

[caz3007]

Lets hope its been sorted. I got to the stage where I got fed up with providing a hot meal and keeping everyone happy that I stopped. I now just have one LO who has tea here, so have started again for her.

Incidentally sausage, beans and mash is my fav comfort food...lol

[JulieA]

Just a thought but could you write down the agreement between yourself and the parent as an example of how you work with parents for Ofsted, as it seems you have reached an agreement with parent over a difficult situation.

All ammunition when Mrs O comes a-calling!

[Belly2009]

Already on the case Julie! :-)

Just wish it was that simple :-( This evening he ate one sausage and a few beans and now doesn't like mash potato without trying it. Have put note in his communication book and will just put my foot down.

I actually hate mealtimes in my house! My 2 year old now refused to eat it even though it's her favourite. :-( just want to cry!! :-(

[mushpea]

sounds to me like hes trying it on, I used to have a mindee like this who would then go home and eat at home so I told mum that I wouldnt provide meals anymore as it was a waste of my time and food.

[rosebud]

I would continue for the next couple of weeks as you have planned. Give the foods that the parent has told you he likes (so he can't go home and say you've given him food he doesn't like). Don't make any fuss about whether he eats or not, just let him get on with it and then send your note home documenting what he has eaten. (or not) Mum needs to see that its not about the food you're serving its about him trying to manipulate (sorry -horrible word) you and mum. Don't worry about whether he eats or not, you have served him a good healthy meal and if he doesn't eat it then its not your problem!

[Belly2009]

Thanks.

I sat down with him yesterday and let him choose the menu for mon and tues next week.

He has chosen rice with raw carrot and cucumber on the side and Tuesday I suggested home made pizza (he wanted prawns and noodles!!!)

I've received a reply from mum to tell me the recipe for the rice.....yep you've guessed it- plain rice with nothing in it!! She has suggested ham on the side.

My children will turn their noses up at that and ask where their dinner is. I'm thinking of now feeding mindee on their own. What are people's thoughts? I'll carry it out for a few weeks but will insist on snack after the holidays.

[loocyloo]

do your children a nice savoury mince, or some sausages or a casserole to have with the rice, and let him just have the rice if that is what he likes.

my ds, for several years, would eat plain rice with peas & sweetcorn as his favourite meal. sometimes he liked a handful of prawns in it. now i fry and egg through it to make egg fried rice!

ds also liked noodles and prawns, totally plain.

[miffy]

do your children a nice savoury mince, or some sausages or a casserole to have with the rice, and let him just have the rice if that is what he likes.




I'd try that too, you never know mindee might be tempted to try some of theirs!

Miffy xx