View Full Version : mom wants me limit toddlers sleep

20-03-2012, 08:08 AM
he,s 18 months and sometimes has a nap in the afternoon ,yesterday he had 1 1/2 hours sleep and he had been yawning all morning so he must of needed it.
well mom came this morning and asked me not to let him sleep that long because he didnt go to sleep till late at home. i told her that im not going to wake him if he needs his sleep .
i am right arnt i ?

20-03-2012, 08:18 AM
This is always a difficult one. I am with you I will not wake a sleeping child if I can avoid it.

In my experience a day time sleep does not stop a child sleeping at night, in fact often the reverse. If they have a day time sleep they often sleep better at night.

Often not settling at night is a lack of bedtime routine. Also just like adults there are night children and day children.

Ofsted frown on waking a child.

My own daughter had a good bedtime routine, she dropped her daytime sleep at two very suddenly but went to bed by 7pm and slept through until she was six when just as suddenly she became a nightmare to get to sleep. We followed bed time routine and she went to bed at 7-7.30 but never went to sleep before 10p, so in the end we put a 25watt lamp by her bed and let her read. It drove us nuts and worried us but in truth she is now 19 and has never changed. She is a late bird like her dad.

Her brother had at least 2 hours every afternoon right up to going to school when he would get home a fall asleep at 4pm and wake up at 7am! He only started going to bed later than 7.30pm at a couple of years ago and he is nearly 18!

20-03-2012, 08:19 AM
If he's not settling at night then he is going to need to sleep longer, l would start to bring his sleep forward giving him an early or late lunch to accommodate this, if he still doesn't settle then yes l would cut it down to an hour.

20-03-2012, 09:04 AM
I would ask the parents if they have a bedtime routine and what they do. Both my kids know it is dinner, a bit of quiet play, bath/shower, ready for bed, cuddles downstairs then a story in bed.

They know once they are in bed that is it, they do not get up. Sometimes I have gone to bed at 9pm and my eldest was laid there awake and couldn't get to sleep, but still stayed in bed "chillin" as he put it lol.

I would perhaps try to put LO to sleep a littler earlier and get a routine so you know X time is sleep time etc, then get Mum to do the same. Also having appropiate bed times, and strict rules. I know so many parents who in the rooms, chat to the kids, give in to requests, let LO's sleep in their beds etc and IMO that is just asking for trouble.

20-03-2012, 09:26 AM
I'm happy to go with parents wishes and if they want me to wake them after a set amount of time then I will. I agree that trying to get them to sleep a little bit earlier in the day is often the answer rather than waking them but if they still won't go to bed at night I would wake them after an hour.

20-03-2012, 09:37 AM
I had parents ask me one day to only let their child sleep for an hour as she was suddenly not going to sleep at bedtime. Well this child could sleep for England and nothing was going to make her wake up after an hour it was impossible. I explained to dad at pick-up and asked about her bedtime routine. It turned out that they had moved her out of her cot into a bed and she was running around upstairs in and out of her brothers room. I explained to dad that she now had the freedom to get in and out of bed and gently hinted that maybe a baby gate on her door might be the way forward. We had to do this with my DD. I made him realise that it wasn't her daytime sleep that was the problem it was just the new found freedom she had at bedtime. Sometimes if we dig a little deeper we can see what the problem might be. I am very reluctant to wake a sleeping child tbh.


Chatterbox Childcare
20-03-2012, 11:39 AM
I work with the parent and sometimes my hour stretches a wee bit :D

20-03-2012, 12:22 PM
This is always a difficult one. I am with you I will not wake a sleeping child if I can avoid it.

In my experience a day time sleep does not stop a child sleeping at night, in fact often the reverse. If they have a day time sleep they often sleep better at night.

I agree with this - but I would look at the time the child is put to bed and try and put him down a bit earlier.

I hate waking children up, some are so grumpy it's not worth the effort.

Miffy xx

20-03-2012, 12:54 PM
I agree with Miffys last post about what Ricky said - I find that a good sleep in the day usually helps the child sleep better at night, it has always been that way in my experience

18 months is still quite young to be waking a child if they really need it.

I usually agree to cut sleep down to an hour if child is over 2 and mum requests it.

I had one parent who only wanted her 2.5 year old to sleep for 20 mins if she feel asleep and no longer than that as she wouldn't sleep at night - I used to let her sleep for an hour if she (rarely) feel asleep - and would ask the next day if child had a good nights sleep, and she always said she had! :rolleyes:

20-03-2012, 02:21 PM
My mindee is with me in the afternoons only and on some days literally he will fall asleep as soon as mum leaves and sleeps for 4 hours! when I spoke to mum and told her we can't do alot as he sleeps for a long period she told me to let him sleep and not to wake him as he will be grumpy and just cry.