teaching indepent play and too much tv

[mushpea]

how do you encourage an almost 2yrold to play independantly. he is here on his own today and after i did puzzles, played in the sand , pepper pig and popoied with him i thought I would do a bit of his diary and have a well earned cuppa whilst he played by himself for a while but he just sat there with the toys around him not moving, 20mins later he was still sat there not playing but with a very sulky look so we went outside to play and whilst I played with him he intereacted very well and played and shared nicley then we came in and again I left him to it to see what would happen but he just sat there staring at the toys again!
I have now put cbeebies on for a while whilst I type this post, as soon as I put it on he new the what the programe was called (mister maker) and at the end he said time to go at exactly the same time as the bird did on the tv, then the next program came on and he sang along to the song .
I get the feeling that at home the tv is on constantly and mum has said before if she trys to put eastenders on he moans till she turns it back to his programs! he is now watching charly bear and knows the song and is calling the bear like the bloke on the tv before the bloke even does it so he knows whats coming
thing is I think he is so used to watching tv he dosent know how to play withough somone else there to instigate it so how do I change this? I have never know a child of this age to just sit and watch tv like this and not know how to play on his own.

[Mouse]

For a start I'd turn the TV off! I know you've only got it on for a minute now, but it does sound as if he is used to just sitting in front of it at home.

I would then look for some cause & effect type toys (ie. he does something & gets a response from it!). I wouldn't try with toys where he has to instigate the play and use his imagination (ie. it's no good giving him a box of toys as he'd have to be the one doing something).

Things I'm thinking of would include something like a marble run, where he just starts the marble off & the toy does the rest. He doesn't need to be doing much, but he does have to do something rather than just sitting there. Show him how to do it, then sit back. You might have to tell him what to do (ie. pick the marble up, put it in the top, let it go etc), but at least you're not having to tell him to 'play'. You can also tell him from a distance, so he is doing something without you being right next to him. Give him things that require direct actions rather than things that need him to use his imagination.

Hopefully, once you get him doing something (anything!), he'll start to instigate the play himself.

[mushpea]

I turned the tv of about 20 mins ago,, we are still having a paddy over that!
i see what you mean about the cause an effect toys but even with those he just stares at them,, I have guttering in the garden which they roll balls down but even after watching me and with me directing hiim he still just stands there, I just find it very sad that a child of this age has no idea how to play

[Mouse]

I turned the tv of about 20 mins ago,, we are still having a paddy over that!
i see what you mean about the cause an effect toys but even with those he just stares at them,, I have guttering in the garden which they roll balls down but even after watching me and with me directing hiim he still just stands there, I just find it very sad that a child of this age has no idea how to play

Hmm...that makes it a bit trickier then :rolleyes:

I have had children like that before and you do really feel as if you are having to tell them how to do what should really come naturally.

I wonder if you could use some of his favourite TV programmes to help? DO you have any toys related to them? I don't have any character or TV toys, but I'd perhaps be tempted to get something that played tunes from the programmes. WHat about those books you can get that make sounds when you press the buttons, or the laptop type toys that are linked to the shows?

Other than that, I would just say leave him. Give him a small selection of toys and leave him with them. Hopefully boredom would soon take over & he'd start to show interest in them :D

[rosebud]

Hmm...that makes it a bit trickier then :rolleyes:

I have had children like that before and you do really feel as if you are having to tell them how to do what should really come naturally.

I wonder if you could use some of his favourite TV programmes to help? DO you have any toys related to them? I don't have any character or TV toys, but I'd perhaps be tempted to get something that played tunes from the programmes. WHat about those books you can get that make sounds when you press the buttons, or the laptop type toys that are linked to the shows?Other than that, I would just say leave him. Give him a small selection of toys and leave him with them. Hopefully boredom would soon take over & he'd start to show interest in them :D

I was going to suggest this - it might be worth a try! My son was like this and I also had a mindee like it, they were fine whilst I played with them or even if they had other children to play with but just couldn't play alone. The mindee is 5 now and my son is 12 and they've never really learnt. When my son was small I spent all day doing jigsaws, playing games, etc to keep him entertained, its hard work when they're like that. Have you tried taking him out to groups or soft play and seeing how he is with other children?

[The Juggler]

do you have him on his own. i find it's always easier if there is more than one child of the same age. they watch and follow each other then break off into independent play following the other child's lead.

However, I agree with the ideas above - def. TV off and use his favorite shows to encourage play, with puzzles, smallworld, music related to those shows.:thumbsup:

[mushpea]

yep it has been very hard work today, think ive earnt my money today lol

i have had a clear out of toys as I am trying to cut down on the musical toys and the plasticy items and find more natural play things and I really dont want to go back to plastic things as the other children have really benifited from the new items.
How long is to long to just leave them to see what happens,, he sat there for a good 20mins this morning not doing anything and whilst it dosent bother me if he sits there all day untill he realises that he needs to entertain himself im not sure ofsted will it this way!

[The Juggler]

yep it has been very hard work today, think ive earnt my money today lol

i have had a clear out of toys as I am trying to cut down on the musical toys and the plasticy items and find more natural play things and I really dont want to go back to plastic things as the other children have really benifited from the new items.
How long is to long to just leave them to see what happens,, he sat there for a good 20mins this morning not doing anything and whilst it dosent bother me if he sits there all day untill he realises that he needs to entertain himself im not sure ofsted will it this way!

maybe just try him with somethign simple hon, maybe he doesn't have lots of play experience. a treasure basket or just basket with keys, mobile phones etc, so he can sit and explore with no end to it (like puzzles do). good luck :)

[rosebud]

yep it has been very hard work today, think ive earnt my money today lol

i have had a clear out of toys as I am trying to cut down on the musical toys and the plasticy items and find more natural play things and I really dont want to go back to plastic things as the other children have really benifited from the new items.
How long is to long to just leave them to see what happens,, he sat there for a good 20mins this morning not doing anything and whilst it dosent bother me if he sits there all day untill he realises that he needs to entertain himself im not sure ofsted will it this way!

I wouldn't leave him for any longer than 20 minutes. For some children even this might be too long. From a parents perspective I would expect you to be entertaining him and whilst I would understand that you can't do this ALL the time I would only expect you to leave him to play alone for short periods. Have you got a toy library nearby that you could try borrowing some resources from. You could get a range of different things and see if he responds to any of them and then work from there. Saves spending money, especially if you don't know if he'll really like anything you buy.

[PerkyEars]

I'm starting to think some children of that age just don't care about toys full stop - they are bored by a lot of them, and like interacting with older kids or adults, and they gravitate to the TV. In those cases I would see what they like other than toys, but also encourage self-reliance with those things.

I've just had a much better day with my screamer having given her some crayons rather than toys to play with. My daughter also prefers TV to toys, but will turn off the TV for messy play, or physical games like hide and seek. If I were you I'd see what resources other than the toys he enjoys, and then leave him to get on with it. Don't give in to paddies about the TV, or bust a gut trying to entertain him - my daughter only learned to be a bit more self-reliant when she had a playtime at bedtime (no mum or dad or TV so she had to use her stuff!).

[Bluebell]

I have one just like this and for exactly the same reason - tv on at home all the time. child loves playing and interacting but as soon as I do something else - with another child or clearing craft away or something she just keeps saying my name over and over and over! Her communication isn't great either - if a nursery rhyme, tv tune or radio is on she will know all the words but hardly speaks apart from that. I'm working really hard to share stories and initiate chatting but she has a short attention span so it is hard work!
I find if I play a game with her and initiate it she is slowly becoming more able to play independently short periods initially but hopefully getting longer and hopefully she will find ways to entertain herself soon too without me having to initiate everything. Its such a shame as she such a lovely placid little girl!

AND the worse thing is I think its my fault! :rolleyes:

She was really content to do nothing at all when she started now I've taught her all these lovely things we can do together and lavished her with attention she doesn't normally get she has become quite demanding!!

[blue bear]

What does he most enjoy when you play too? How does he play when you are involved, does he need you to do everything or does he play alongside you?
May be try playing with the same thing as him but not with him ifswim, so put out a tray with blobs of paint and two brushes, you play with one in the same tray but not directly with him, try weening him into self play minutes at a time until he gets the hang of it.

[mushpea]

I wouldn't leave him for any longer than 20 minutes. For some children even this might be too long. From a parents perspective I would expect you to be entertaining him and whilst I would understand that you can't do this ALL the time I would only expect you to leave him to play alone for short periods. Have you got a toy library nearby that you could try borrowing some resources from. You could get a range of different things and see if he responds to any of them and then work from there. Saves spending money, especially if you don't know if he'll really like anything you buy.

children shouldnt need to be played with constantly and it wont help hiim to develop his imagination and creativity etc if I constantly do things with him as when he plays with me its me that instigates everything or if its another child then the child more or less tells him what to do, I dont need to provide anymore resources I have enough stuff in my home to start a small nursery , if there are other children here he will happily help himself to toys and play with them and the other children but when hes on his own he wont touch them.
I would expect most children of this age to be able to play for short periods on their own and I belive that the tv is on at home constantly as he knows all the songs and can predict what the people will say in familar programs but hasnt got a clue how to play by himself.

[The Juggler]

children shouldnt need to be played with constantly and it wont help hiim to develop his imagination and creativity etc if I constantly do things with him as when he plays with me its me that instigates everything or if its another child then the child more or less tells him what to do, I dont need to provide anymore resources I have enough stuff in my home to start a small nursery , if there are other children here he will happily help himself to toys and play with them and the other children but when hes on his own he wont touch them.
I would expect most children of this age to be able to play for short periods on their own and I belive that the tv is on at home constantly as he knows all the songs and can predict what the people will say in familar programs but hasnt got a clue how to play by himself.

you are absolutely right hon and children do need to learn to play independently with us just building their learning with questions, vocabulary and info BUT... for those children who are used to a life in front of the TV they need to be show, encouraged how to play independently, just like a baby. No-one has ever shown him maybe how to clip clop a smallworld horse, or make a dinosaur growl and chase a man round the castle or hold a phone and pretend to talk. Just go from basics with him :thumbsup: