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View Full Version : Urgent help re sick child .. Afraid contract is at breaking point



smurfette
07-03-2012, 02:52 PM
Right here we go again re pia parent and mindee who is a handful

Lo has been coughing and spluttering and vomiting with it for last 3 weeks kept tryin to get mum to take her to doc but she wouldn't as parent where she works (she is Montessori teacher) said might be just a viral cough (imagine she also said it might not be but haven't been told that!) and she wanted to wait until this monday to run into her accidentally at work so she would look at baby for free

Sent lo home last Thursday as she suddenly spiked temp of 102 and vomited all over my floor as well as beig extremely out of sorts .. Dad kept her home fri but they still didn't take to dr!!

Had her back Monday still unwell granny picked her up took one look at her and made apt at doc.. Doc says rattle on lung and gave antibiotic . Told
Mum yest couldn't take her due to antibiotic. My dd is now sick had to have her off school today and yest as up all night choking

Today she has had a green diarrohea nappy green nose and is now cranky I imagining she was dosed with calpol this am and it's worn off

Have now rung nanny and asked her to collect ., am
Inclined to Say I won't have her back Til Monday but do I have grounds? Is one dose of diarrohea enough given I havent had a sickness policy Til now (anyone send me a copy would be grateful I am in Ireland and these things arent obligatory but I can see now essential!)
Other thing to note is mindees sis is in my kids school and it's very small .. Feel like this Is going pear shaped and don't really care but do care abou my reputation!!
Please advise ASAP I feel really peed off with this mums dishonesty and miscommunication and feel taken advantage off ESP as she is in childcare and should know better!

catminder
07-03-2012, 03:03 PM
If my mindee had diarrhoea I exclude them for 48 hours from last one. So I would say at least exclude until Monday and that's assuming no more diarrhoea from now. Hope things work out ok with this.

smurfette
07-03-2012, 03:07 PM
Thanks cat minder just had a second dose now .. Actually she had some on Thursday so wondering if she has all this time? Think I have A leg to stand on with no policy?

It's how to phrase it to mum always makes me out to be the bad guy!!

faerielies
07-03-2012, 03:13 PM
Blame OFSTED
thats what i have been told to do by a social worker who did my safe guarding training.
Say that you have to follow what ofsted say and in order to safeguard you children this child must be free of symptoms for 48 hours to minimise the risk to you other children.

I'd def get a sickness policy in and quick make sure you get it signed.

Hope it all goes well, you are not the bad guy you are just trying to keep others safe from harm and if the child was continually not taken to drs is it a safeguarding issue of neglect?

rickysmiths
07-03-2012, 03:17 PM
This link may be of help in the absence of a Sickness Policy


http://www.hpa.org.uk/webc/HPAwebFile/HPAweb_C/1284473951087

Look at the Exclusion of children section.

http://www.hpa.org.uk/webc/HPAwebFile/HPAweb_C/1194947358374

I keep a copy of the second one in my parent information folder.

smurfette
07-03-2012, 03:23 PM
Problem is she isnt being truthful with me about her symptoms told me she was fine today and isnt at all!!

rickysmiths
07-03-2012, 03:40 PM
I think it sounds as if you are going to have to put your foot firmly down and say you do not appreciate being lied to and while you realise it is hard with work she has a sick child and she needs to attend to them and get them well. You are a childminder not a nurse and you will not have the child back until at least Monday when the antibiotics have started to work and the child is better.

I have lost a child in the past because of this sort of senario. The parents put him in a Nursery where a friend of mine worked and the child was excluded more from there and dad couldn't run away because the nursery was on the site where he worked!

smurfette
07-03-2012, 03:52 PM
Thanks rickysmith that gave me confidence at the last hour ..
Nanny picked her up and said she seemed fine yesteday eating and all and I said well she isn't well today and has gagged back everything I gave her


Because I won't see mum i wrote on her diary that she wasnt at all well and gave her symptoms and said 'will
See you on Monday when she is feeling better and antibiotics have kicked in hope she feels better'

Let her phone and complain if she wants and I will turn her away if needs be in meantime

She does have lots of help with family but dad doesn't and granny and auntie feel put upon as she uses them everytime I need time off , she needs shoes etc

smurfette
07-03-2012, 03:55 PM
Not convinced she has given her antibiotic as its 8 hourly and I have had her 8 hours and now she has gone to Grannys for two hours

sarah707
07-03-2012, 06:25 PM
Poor little one :( It sounds like she has not been treated properly for her illness and got worse and worse.

Or she might be having a reaction to the antibiotics if she's suddenly sick.

You have to put your health and your family's health first though - so you are within your rights to use the HPA website information and exclude until she is better.

Hugs x

mama2three
07-03-2012, 06:40 PM
Does the HPA guidance have any 'weight' in Ireland though , maybe you could see if there is an Irish equivalent to refer to. Im sure the guidance would be the same though!

fluff1975
07-03-2012, 10:11 PM
She does have lots of help with family but dad doesn't and granny and auntie feel put upon as she uses them everytime I need time off , she needs shoes etc

I had to put my foot down recently as I was ill followed by both my children one after the other. I lost 5 days work and one parent asked me to find her emergency childcare. I explained that my emergency backup was for just that, emergencies (eg I have to take a child to hosp.) and that whilst childminding gives children an excellent depth of care, it doesn't provide the backup that a larger setting can. I've now made a note to tell all new parents to make sure THEY have backup childcare if we're ill. Same should apply if they need to work and their children are ill.

tess1981
07-03-2012, 10:26 PM
Do you live in the North or South of Ireland???

smurfette
08-03-2012, 08:29 AM
I am in the south (republic) trying to find something from
The hse which I guess would be our equivalent

At hubbies advice wrote down everything that happened last few days just in case.. Come 8am this morning was afraid she would turn up and argue on the doorstep but she didnt :clapping:

So we will see if dh runs into her on school run!!!Can't see her taking this one lying down am on the mooch for a replacement!!

VeggieSausage
08-03-2012, 08:41 AM
I have had a lot of this recently from a certain family, I have put in place the following:
1. re-issued sickness policy re-iterating 48 hour rule
2. I now have a form for parents to sign after any bout of sickness confirming they have not had any bout of sickness, diarrhoea or any kind of stomach upset in the last 48 hours, they have to state if they have had any when the last bout was, and they have to sign and say as far as they know the child is well and able to participate in activities. at the bottom it says that if a parent signs falsely this is ground for the childminder to give 4 weeks notice and end our contract and childminding arrangement.
3. Have directly told family in question that I will not look after ill children as it puts other children and myself at risk of illness.
4. I have changed my sickness policy to say that I will administer one dose of fever or pain relief medicine if they become unwell in my care but if they require another then they are ill and will be sent home.

It is so frustrating isn't it - also I think you must make notes just in case these are parents who are avoiding contact with doctors/health visitors etc for any other reason.

I have decided that after al I have done to try to curb this - if it doesn't improve then I will be giving notice......

Poor you and poor little one, they sound really poorly :(

NicoleW
08-03-2012, 06:15 PM
Can I just say that wouldn't this technically be neglect?

Not allowing the child health treatment when she needs it? I sure would think it is.

faerielies
08-03-2012, 08:59 PM
i'm not sure what happens in ireland but here i would be phoning social services and maybe making a referral following the LSCB procedures.
its your choice but if this is something that happens alot, in my mind it is a safeguarding issue.

smurfette
10-03-2012, 12:40 AM
Thanks again everyone

Veggie sausage love your policy thats fab will rob it if thats ok!

Don't think child is neglected loved and always well dressed, think mum is under a lot of pressure with ft job and dad not helping and I would imagine she realises her family are fed up .. But I do think she hasn't time to think things through and just motors on . Eg still feeding 4 bottles a day (sterilised!) at 17omths and still sending mashed baby food for meals .. Have told her I am happy to feed her but because I don't do hot dinner (well not meat and veg but sandwiches/pasta/ fish fingers etc) she keeps sending mush as she says child too tired to eat proper dinner when she gets home . Have also asked her to cut back bottles but all she has done has cut out an ounce each feed. Her other
Child is 7 so think maybe she is keeping this one a baby but as you say maybe hasnt had health visitor contact .. I know I took lo for one set vaccines and granny for another

Have had enough though between lack of communication and no back up at home (child is spoiled brat and ok on days it's just her but when others there such hard work) thinking of giving notice as looks like may be able to replace her but worried about consequences of seeing her at school all time don't want it to be yucky but imagine it wouldmt go down well any advice?! Have had Lo a year

VeggieSausage
10-03-2012, 07:35 AM
Feel free murphf :)

You could say to her that the day time bottles are now not necessary so at yours would she mind if you cut them.....as you say it sounds as though mum is just continuing without thinking with the baby ways....




Thanks again everyone

Veggie sausage love your policy thats fab will rob it if thats ok!

Don't think child is neglected loved and always well dressed, think mum is under a lot of pressure with ft job and dad not helping and I would imagine she realises her family are fed up .. But I do think she hasn't time to think things through and just motors on . Eg still feeding 4 bottles a day (sterilised!) at 17omths and still sending mashed baby food for meals .. Have told her I am happy to feed her but because I don't do hot dinner (well not meat and veg but sandwiches/pasta/ fish fingers etc) she keeps sending mush as she says child too tired to eat proper dinner when she gets home . Have also asked her to cut back bottles but all she has done has cut out an ounce each feed. Her other
Child is 7 so think maybe she is keeping this one a baby but as you say maybe hasnt had health visitor contact .. I know I took lo for one set vaccines and granny for another

Have had enough though between lack of communication and no back up at home (child is spoiled brat and ok on days it's just her but when others there such hard work) thinking of giving notice as looks like may be able to replace her but worried about consequences of seeing her at school all time don't want it to be yucky but imagine it wouldmt go down well any advice?! Have had Lo a year