View Full Version : Grrrr, being messed bout, so down

02-03-2012, 07:27 AM
Grrrrr, just need to rant a bit really. I mind a family of siblings, had them for two years, they currently attend before school 4 mornings a week, they start at 7am which is outside my normal day hours as I always say I work between 7.30 - 6pm, but I added an extra 50p on the hourly fee when mum changes their hours to an earlier start time a while back. Anyway, long and short, this contract has been up & down from 12 months back, lots of probs at the family home which have obviously spilled over into affecting the kids and my setting, I did meet up with mum on a few occasions to put across my concerns and try and work with her to support her and the kids, but I have a LO (5) of my own and I've worried about the effect it might have had on her. Mums had several new men in & out over last year or so, and has moved in with someone she'd been seeing a week! Only she doesn't tell me about these changes, I hear it all from the older sibling. Anyway since the new man has been in the picture they've only been to me 3 mornings out of a fortnight, and I am being told at 7.30 sometimes and yes I still get paid but I'm so angry as I am waking my LO up at 6am, ish (she gets up as soon as she hears me move around) and getting her dressed etc for nothing!!! I know I shouldn't moan :o but I really feel its so damn inconsiderate, I've been told all sorts of tales in the text messages about why they aren't coming that morning, I actually feel like speaking to mum and raising the issue but I'm not sure from what POV, I am also concerned for the kids and their emotional welfare and lack of consistency at the mo. I'd actually like to give notice but can't afford to without having something else in place. Its really demoralising, out of four years minding this time around (I did it back in 2000-2003 also) this is the lowest I've ever felt about it. :(

02-03-2012, 07:36 AM
If you can afford to give notice on them then I would do it pronto. Unless they come to you after school and holidays as well then it would be a big loss of income. Always difficult, money or sanity? :(

02-03-2012, 07:41 AM
i don't really know what to say, sounds like you have gone down all avenues. I would perhaps think of giving notice and just take the hit for a while, you have to think of the impact you feeling like this will have on your own LO...

Sending some hugs your way x

02-03-2012, 07:49 AM
That's the thing, they are holiday places as well and its worth over £250 a week in hols :( Cm enquires are as dead as anything round here at mo, I've been looking for a part time job as I worked in Marketing before I started minding after having my lo, but that's a bit of a slog too in the current job market :(

02-03-2012, 08:04 AM
I think that you need to change the way you think about it..
You and your daughter are up at 6 anyway to be ready for 7..if they dont turn up til half past ( or not at all) then see it as an advantage - extra snuggle time on the sofa with a favourite book , breakfast together without mindees , and all the better because youre being paid for it!

I know its annoying by the way - my early starter did similar occasionally - but instead of getting stressed by it I decided that was doing me no good and changed how I looked at it.

02-03-2012, 08:10 AM
I understand your POV and yes in the past when its happened on odd occasion& with my LO, its nice to have some space with her and not be rushed at school drop off, but when its happening every day more or less, and you've got up and planned activities (for instance I've bought 2 of the siblings treats for today as they were exceptionally behaved on the one day they came this week) it can be hard not to end up feeling very cynical about it. (plus added paranoia that she'll just stop coming and try to get away without notice & paying)

02-03-2012, 08:23 AM
Youre absolutely right , its hard not to be peeved. But its a lot of money to earn for getting up early!
Stop planning so meticulously - have lots of continuous provision so they can dip in and out when they do come. Sounds like the children have had so many changes in a short space of time then they will love the security coming to you offers.
I can see why others are suggesting notice - but unless you can afford to lose this income its not as easy as that! Start advertising - hopefully you will be able to replace them before much longer if things dont improve.

02-03-2012, 09:08 AM
Why are the children not coming as much anymore has mum told you why? Is it because this new man takes them to school/cares for them or because mum has lots of time off work now?

It's just something I would look into really if I was concerned about the welfare of the LO's. On my last Safeguarding Children course they mentioned that we should start recording why the children are absent and make it part of our policy that parents phone us to let us know the child is not going to be attending especially if we have a concern about their welfare.

I know it might sound a little ott, but it's just something I have been thinking about
Reminds me of a before and after school mindee I used to have - She didn't come some days without even a phone call telling me about it etc, Mum still paid me fine when mindee didnt come but I was concerned about her - heard from other people her older sister was looking after her and her 10 year old sister was staying at home bunking off school because parents were leaving them first thing in the morning to go off to work.:panic:

02-03-2012, 12:18 PM
Yes, this new man is taking them although I know he works as he has said so to me in the school yard, although I don't know what as or when, but she didn't even introduce me to him or tell me what was going on (she is still married to a man she married last October! and I didnt even know they'd seperated), she has told me the new man is a "friend of the family" :rolleyes: its just very frustrating, no trust or professional consideration. You've made a really good point about the noting why absent, I think that's something I will bring into play as she seems to be treating me like some informal resource currently.

** I should add that I note down in my attendance record every time they are reported absent and what time/how I was notified, but not always a reason as I'm not always given one.

02-03-2012, 06:56 PM
I can really see how annoying it must be (as its always annoying when people are inconsiderate), but as others have said you need to relax and try to enjoy the (paid) free time. Definitely stop the planning - I can't imagine they want to do much at 7am? - don't have anything perishable food in specially for them and when you hear they're not coming make a conscious effort to say 'fantastic thats an extra morning to just be with my own LO'.

One of my parents once texted at 1am to let me know the LO wouldn't be in (they had a cough?!), I had to really focus on the positives with that one!

If your mindees' mum's men are coming and going that quickly then this may not last for long, so you may not have much longer to put up with it.

BTW, I wouldn't say anything to mum if you need the money (and its up to her who she marries/lives with, as long as they're not abusive or anything) as it'll only put her back up and not achieve anything. The only thing you could ask is if its possible for her to let you know the night before/earlier if you'll not be needed?