He doesn't do anything!

[buzzy bee]

I have an 18 month old mindee who does very little and needs me to find him things to play with - he won't just play.

I always think to myself "if I just left him to his own devices he'd stand in the same spot all day" so today I thought I'd try it out... He arrived, I held his hand and led him into the room, showed him the toys and left him and he's been stood in that spot for 30 minutes.

The other children are running around by him playing etc, going up and talking to him... sometimes he watches them, other times he just stares ahead at nothing.

Would you think there was a problem or is it okay?! I have never come across this before.

I will find him something to do now but I honestly think if I left him he'd just stay there.

[sarah707]

How long has he been with you?

I often give them a little basket of their favourite toys and a cosy corner to sit in when they first arrive as they can feel overwhelmed.

Then they move away from it and go to play when they feel ready.

:D

[buzzy bee]

How long has he been with you?

I often give them a little basket of their favourite toys and a cosy corner to sit in when they first arrive as they can feel overwhelmed.

Then they move away from it and go to play when they feel ready.

:D

He's been with me about a year now. He's always been like it and I've tried things like you suggested - he's fine if I give him things to do, but if I don't he just seems a bit lost. But he doesn't seem to mind - he will literally just sit / stand there but be perfectly happy.

And thismorning we've been singing and dancing and doing the bunny song etc but doesn't join in.

[VeggieSausage]

i have looked after a lo who was a bit similar to this in that he didn't play with anything but was like a whirlwind tearing around, going from place to place but not playing as though he didn't know how.....I know different to what you are describing but a year on we are in such a different place to where we were when he was 18 months. I was really worried that lo had something wrong with them, a year on there has been great improvements in the behaviour and although I still think there is a problem in certain areas, some issues have become irrelevant. So maybe leave it a bit longer and make observations, could ask parents what they like to play with at home as you have noticed he seems reluctant to play with you. Introduce confidence building activities as your next steps.From what you describe I would suspect there could be something....but I wonder if its a bit early to tell.

Sorry to ramble on.....

Oh and I would make notes in case you need to refer back at any time....does lo play or do anything at groups?

[JCrakers]

I would just monitor him and make notes. Have a word with parents and ask if he is the same at home.

There could be many reasons. If he seems happy i would just see how he goes. Have you tried different things like cardboard tubes, saucepans and wooden spoons,dried pasta,rice etc.

Maybe he likes to watch more than play himself, maybe parents never play with him or the other end of the scale buy him too many toys and have overwhelmed him? There could be many reasons.
Is he the same outside/at the park. Does he enjoy outdoor play?

[flowerpots]

I have a little girl who is exactly like this, shes been with me for 6 months now and shes always been the same, I just put it down to her personalilty, there are rare occasions when she does join in just by choice and il always make notes of what is was that interested her and try and repeat the activities when shes here. :)

[mushpea]

could it be that he is so used to you finding him somthing to play with that he just dosent get that he needs to do it for himself? maybe you could leave him for a few days just to see if he eventualy joins in... I look after a 22 month old but only twice a week and each time he comes in and wont take off his shoes even though he can do it himself,,he will sit there for up to 15mins watching the others not taking them off till he realises that I wont do it for him, after speaking to mum it turns out she does it for him and so he is just waiting for me to do it.
prehaps if you and mum both play with him he just hasnt learnt to play independantly as yet.

[singingcactus]

He sounds happy watching the other kids. Doesn't seem to be a problem for him. He's a watcher. He'll find his niche.

So if he doesn't have a problem with how he spends his day, you shouldn't have a problem either...all part of allowing the child to learn, play and develop in their own way. Leave him be long enough and you'll see he does do stuff...just maybe differently to how you are used to seeing. :)

Some children learn with their eyes, and play in their heads. It's fine for them to learn and develop this way. It's good to allow him his own learning style and not try to direct him into a learning style not for him.

[buzzy bee]

He sounds happy watching the other kids. Doesn't seem to be a problem for him. He's a watcher. He'll find his niche.

So if he doesn't have a problem with how he spends his day, you shouldn't have a problem either...all part of allowing the child to learn, play and develop in their own way. Leave him be long enough and you'll see he does do stuff...just maybe differently to how you are used to seeing. :)

Some children learn with their eyes, and play in their heads. It's fine for them to learn and develop this way. It's good to allow him his own learning style and not try to direct him into a learning style not for him.

Thanks everyone.

And I'm really glad you said this, because I've been feeling mean today for leaving him, but if you're right then I'm not being mean - I'm being kind letting him be himself!!