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fionamadcat
19-02-2012, 09:24 AM
How do you deal with them? I have a 3 yr old who has recently started and he is very fussy, with my own kids if they didn't eat what i gave them they didn't or don't get anything else but I don't really feel I can do this with a mindee as he is starving at lunch time. There are only a few things that he will eat and I don't want to have to give different meals to everyone else. Any advice???

Mouse
19-02-2012, 09:48 AM
What sort of things does he eat? Could you use that as a basis for a meal, then expand on it? That way he gets something he will eat, but the others have a bigger variety. I certainly wouldn't be doing two meals.

Or get him to help prepare the food to see if he's more likely to eat it then.

Have you asked parents how they deal with it at home?

marnieb
19-02-2012, 01:26 PM
If parents give into him at home then this is what he'll be expecting from you. I have worked with loads of fussy eaters over the years, and at 3 yrs old this child knows EXACTLY what they are doing. If there is no underlying problem, then my approach is they eat the same as everyone else. End of. If you have to use small rewards to get them to eat, the this might help (outings, making things, even small bit of choc with parents permission)

I had a mindee start (3 as well) a few months ago, and he ate nothing except toast and pasta. I told parents what I was going to do, and they were totally on board with me. Mum thanked me last week for all my hard work as mindee now eats anything at all you put in front of him!!

llkbabob
19-02-2012, 01:46 PM
my ds is a fussy eater he only eats ham sandwich, pizza fish fingers cookies and yogurt. he has improved as he only used to eat cheese and ham on toast. he still won't eat at grandma's unless i've told him they are my fish fingers, and i've put them in grandmas freezer :rolleyes:
when it is tea time at mine house he has his fish finger and everybody else has whatever i have prepared. Saying that the other day i gave everyone a choice between sausage and mash and fish fingers peas and chips,of course everyone said fish fingers, but my ds turned to me and say you know what mommy i think i will have fish fingers peas and chips today like everyone else:jump for joy:. this was the first time he had asked for something different, i know its only peas and chips but yippee. when he looks and food he looks at it in disgust. we made flapjacks couple of weeks ago and i put chocolate on the top, to see if he would eat them and he did. made them again today but this time made them with choc chips, and he wouldn't eat them at first 2 hrs later and hes tried them.
sorry went on a bit.:blush:

i think if they are hungry then they will eat. have you spoke to mom, what is he like at home?
how about trying him with a little of what he likes and the rest of his plate with what you are having, get him to try it, maybe reward with a sticker.

moogster1a
19-02-2012, 03:52 PM
llbabob I can't believe you indulge your child like that.You have a long post describing how a small child has manipulated grown ups into indulging his silly whims then end it by saying if chidren are hungry enough they will eat. i definitely reccommend you try the approach of presenting him with food and simply removing it eventually when he won't eat it. As you say, he will eat it in the end. Do NOT be cooking a separate thing for him every day.

mushpea
19-02-2012, 04:26 PM
I have two views on this

firstly a child will happily manipulate an adult in to getting what they want by refusing to eat, if there is no known problem then put somthing infront of him and if he dosent eat it then take it away without a fuss but dont give anything else untill the next meal time then present the same meal again, obvously things can only be reheated once but if its a cold lunch putting a bit of cling film over it will keep it nice, by this time he should be hungry enough to want to eat so if he then refuses again it could be theres either a problem or he genuinly dosent like the meal. if he likes somthing one day bu then wont eat it the next then definatly dont give in. I have 22month old mindee who will normaly eat two small squares of sandwich but last week only at one small square of sandwich then stopped,, when he saw the others get satsuma he asked for one, I said eat your sandwich then you can,, he knows I wont give in and ate his sandwich,, on pick up mum told me he only ever eats one at her house then she takes the other away and gives him somthing else, hence producing a fussy child,, if he was that hungry he would eat the 2nd sandwich.
the second view is that the child has underlying issues that just havent been recognized as yet, my son has issues with different textures of food and I tried the method of re-giving him a meal and he still refused even though obviously hungry and ended up going to bed without tea, I had to do this to prove to myself that he wasnt just playing me up and that actutaly there is a problem and this was the turning point for us,, the next morning he got up and was very very hungry but still only ate his regular breakfast and wouldnt try anything else. we found out recently that he has ADHD and possibly aspergers and these were underlying reasons as to why he refused certain foods.
I would start by giving him what he you know he likes and get mum to write a list of what he will eat, once he is eating these things at yours then gradualy introduce new foods alongside his 'normal' foods. if he wont even try them ask him just to touch it or even kiss it, sounds daft but for us this was break through and it helped my son get over his 'fear' of new foods.
somtimes fussy eaters are just children whose parents just give in and give them somthing else which is what makes them fussy and somtimes there are underlying problems,, working out which is which is the hard part!

PixiePetal
19-02-2012, 05:02 PM
I have a really fussy DD who is now 17 - she has always been fussy and would go hungry rather than eat something not on her list of likes. She did try everything when she was young but gagged or spat things out. She has a really acute sense of smell and taste so that puts her off some things and also a phobia of being sick so sticks to stuff she is ok with. Having said that she does have to have meals she does not like but I intersperse them over the week with her likes and hope she will get better when she has to do her own cooking! No way will she eat anything spicy - popadoms are spicy to her :laughing: And fish, well that's a no no!

She also likes some fruit and veg/meat but not with sauce/gravy :rolleyes:

Sorry gone on a bit there :o for a mindee I would do as Mouse said and work on it from there.