View Full Version : very upset 2 yr old at drop off

08-02-2012, 01:08 PM
Hi all, I have been minding a 2 1/2 year old since he was 7 mth old and has always been fine at drop off although parents do faff around with him a bit ie chasing him around the room to get a kiss out of him and child seems to at times prolong saying goodbye and giving them a kiss. The last few weeks he is getting really upset, saying 'he doesn't want to stay here' and 'please dont go mummy', his mum and dad know that (i think) that once they have gone he has a fab day and is very happy and content. Drop off time usually results in me taking child off them whilst extremely upset, this is hard for both of them or a couple of times mum has sneaked out whilst child is busy, which I told her not to do, she still does this at times and once child knows she has gone is even worse.

When he arrives I get out some of his favourite toys and invite him to join me and the other children, he comes eventually sometimes with parent but still gets upset when parent gets up/leaves. I think it is probably a phase but has been going on now for a few weeks. I dont think it helps that he sometimes sleeps in his parents bed and that his mum isn't shall we say as firm as I would be at times ie she says no you cant have my phone, he cries, she immediately gives in.

Any advice? please please help x

08-02-2012, 01:13 PM
your doing the right things and this is normal tbh,

the child is getting to that understanding age and just needs this time to be kept as calm as poss.

a lot of my 2 yr olds go through this, as they understand mummy or daddy is leaving... then at 3 ish they try it on more for added attention and by 4yrs they know and understand more and relax into the routine,

not every child is like this but in my experiance even if they have a gr8 time with you and love you to bits they still feel sad mum / dad is leaving,

try not to worry im sure if you keep a good communication with parents they will understand and try to ask not to make too much of a fuss at this time too or extra gifts at pick up time.


08-02-2012, 01:20 PM
I agree with Andrea. Some children who have come to you happily for ages will suddenly decide they don't want to any more.

The best thing really is to stick to a quick, fuss free hand over. I wouldn't be trying to persuade lo to come in, I would be taking him off his parents, saying "bye bye, we'll see you later" and taking him off to play. It might sound a bit of a harsh way of doing it, but from experience, it does work.

I would talk to parents, tell them again that their child is happy throughout the rest of the day & that this is a phase a lot of children go through. They might not like the idea of a quick hand over, so suggest you try it for a limited time to see if it helps. Also, tell them you are more than happy to text them to let them know lo has settled.

08-02-2012, 01:23 PM
Oh also suggest that parents give kisses at home and say what they need to say at home so a quicker smoother transition will mean less fuss like mouse said,

08-02-2012, 01:33 PM
With one particular mindee the mum gets worried and a little upset on the few occasions lo cries when dropped off....I text her a pic of mindee playing happily just minutes later, which totally reassures her. :)

08-02-2012, 02:15 PM
Thankyou so much for your quick replies, some really useful advice. I had thought of sending a pic but not sure phone will allow. Will have a word with mum tonight. Thanks again x

08-02-2012, 02:37 PM
With one particular mindee the mum gets worried and a little upset on the few occasions lo cries when dropped off....I text her a pic of mindee playing happily just minutes later, which totally reassures her. :)

I do this too.

We've had this with one of our 2 yr olds recently. Her mummy is a teacher and after the holidays she was reluctant to come back to us.
She is usually such a happy confident little girl that we were all a bit surprised.

As you say once she's in and busy she was fine.

We got over it in two ways; one asking daddy to make the drop offs short and sweet ( he used to hang about a bit ) and the second one worth trying is she started to bring a backpack from home filled with a few of her favourite toys. A new thing every day. She was so excited to show us her treasures she forgot about being sad about daddy leaving.

I know we don't always want their toys here but if it helps settle them and the parents aren't too fussed if we can't find them at the end of the day it may be worth a try.

08-02-2012, 05:43 PM
Yes, doorstep drop-offs and collections work a lot better for me and the little ones, all my moms know that if they need to speak to me they can ring / text later, but for the sake of the little 'uns its a quick kiss then bye mom and straight in to play, then at home time all parent text me 5 mins before and I have coats and shoes on waiting for a swift departure, saves all the showing off for mom or dads benefit!!

Definitely the way forward!:clapping::clapping:

08-02-2012, 06:21 PM
I'd be changing routines - with parents in agreement of course.

When they get upset here we have a little basket of a few of their favourite things waiting for them.

They are so looking forward to seeing what we have put out for them they very quickly forget to get upset...

Good luck :D

08-02-2012, 07:35 PM
Thats a really nice idea Sarah thanks.

I love this website, some great advice thanks x