View Full Version : My own son & birthday dilemma

04-02-2012, 09:02 PM
Want to ask those of you with your own young ones, and smaller premises how you deal with this one...

My boy turns 2 on feb 14th, obviously would like to spoil him and get some new toys but my DH doesn't want to see DS's toys being used while I'm working (by mindees) in case they get broken.

I do have a small box with some DS only toys in it. but already a lot of his christams toys get used for general play too DH not overly happy about that but as I'm not overly booked up at present puts up with it... but with a propective family visiting next week... with 3 kids he's obviously concerned.

Any suggestions? ideas? at present I'm suggesting we get him a keepsake instead of toys (as gramma and bampy will cover that!) maybe something in solid silver?

04-02-2012, 09:05 PM
For my son's last birthday I bought him a course of swimming lessons which he has really enjoyed. With it he got new swimming trunks, arm-bands, rubber ring, ben-10 googles...

04-02-2012, 09:14 PM
It is hard when they are little as they really dont play in their rooms so no point putting their own toys in there.I find this is the biggest downside to chilminding.In general im happy to let mindees share my childrens toys as long as my own kids dont mind.If they have a special toy or something they dont want to share i tell the mindees that they cant play with it.If i get any complaints i explain that they have their own toys at home and my children have theirs and would they like it if i went to their house and played with all their special toys,they usually look horrified at the thought and leave my kids toys alone :).If they are just littlies then put special toys out of reach.In the long run it saves you having to buy extra toys for minding and if the mindees play with them more than your own then put them down as a business expense:laughing:

nic t
04-02-2012, 09:23 PM
Surely your ds benefits from the extra resources that you get for childminding so isn't it swings and roundabouts really?

I understand with a special toy etc if ds doesn't want to have to share it then keep it out of the way when you are minding but the rest I would have in general for the others too but perhaps I am in the minority?

Stuff might occasionally get broken but I find that's very rare and that's what your 10% wear and tear is for. If anything happened to one of his toys i would replace it and put it through the books.

04-02-2012, 09:30 PM
my 2 are a bit older at 4 and 6 so I tend to say to them that if its a special toy that they don't want to share they must put it away. Its not so hard for me at the moment as I mainly have little ones I child mind so interest in toys is different - also I only child mind 2 days a week so the continuous invasion of home and sharing of toys has not being too bad for my children. The effect is definitely more noticeable when I take time off in holidays (from my normal job) to do extra days and it tends to be older kids so by the end of the week my boys are less accommodating shall we say! But they fortunately have their own bedroom and a playroom so I just say if you want to play on your own or watch tv go upstairs! My boys do so much craft and outings and playing with different children through the week that they are normally exhausted by end and quite happy to go off and have some quiet time to themselves!

04-02-2012, 09:51 PM
I just don't have the space for two sets of toys, and when I thought it through, I decided it was more important to teach my DD to share than to keep the toys nice. I'd be up for her having a box of her 'special' things that mindees didn't get their mits on, but she's never really seemed that bothered. Occasionally she'll object over something being abused by a younger child and say 'that's mine, and X will break it!', and then I will move it out of the way.

I can't offhand think of anything that's actually ever got broken, other than the cardboard boxes that toys and games come in, which everyone seems to love to tread on if they are left in the way. :eek:

04-02-2012, 10:00 PM
I think what has DH worries is the 4yo who was with us up until Xmas (services no longer required due to redundancy) he wasn't the easiest of kids and no matter how many time he was asked, and even given a time out or 3 for, he still insisted on crashing the toy vehicles together with ever increasing force.
DH doesn't want DS's toys broken like that again and just worries that DS wont get a normal childhood.
I am reminding him a lot he'll have to deal with it in a year or 2 anyway when we have another! but hey ho

I'm not so fussed TBH and yes DS does benefit from all the additional stuff I pick up for minding.

Honestly I think I'm looking at getting DS something special in silver he can have for life. and he'll still see new toys arriving every month anyway lol

betty boop
04-02-2012, 10:33 PM
My children are a bit older, youngest is nearly 6. We keep all there things in there rooms although they do tend to bring things down stairs I just try to take everything back upstairs in a morning before childminded children arrive.

blue bear
05-02-2012, 07:49 AM
For birthdays we always had special days out rather than toys.

05-02-2012, 07:59 AM
We always had our toys in our room but I was 7 and sister 4 when she started minding. We were allowed to bring our toys downstairs to the living room but if we did then for that period they became toys to share. We werent allowed to say X couldnt play, its mine etc (This isnt personal on about other post)

Mindees often do not understand or realise that they are diffrent to your own children, they are not allowed to keep toys to themself and theres a good chance that lots of mindees wouldnt understand why it was allowed for that child and not me. - just a thought

05-02-2012, 08:39 AM
I'm pre-registered at the moment but help my friends out a couple of day a week until I'm up and running, bit of experience. I have two little ones myself, aged 4 and 17 months. We have a playroom overrun with toys. I have always been keen for my children to share and encourage them not to put things away, but let the littlies have a go. This was until I found a littlie had drawn all over my daughter's dolls house (a beautiful personalised one from her grandparents for Christmas) in felt tip pen. She was absolutely heartbroken, as was I, and I beat myself up for allowing it to happen, as another one to replace it just wouldnt be the same. So now she keeps a toy trunk in her bedroom that contains all of her "special" things. I have also put a trunk in my little boys room with some of his nicer things in. Although he is too young to understand really, he has some lovely things I would rather not risk damaging. Anything that is in the playroom then is for general play. Seems to work quite well at the moment. Learned the hard way!!! :)

05-02-2012, 09:22 AM
my youngest is 2 on the 27th. i think this is a great lesson is sharing and for your dp aswell. it seems very mean to me that he doesnt want to share your sons toys.

all the children play with all the toys in my house. my own nearly 5 year old has to keep unsuitable things in his room (like small parts things) but otherwise we share, infact my boys were so excited after xmas to show everyone all the new toys.


05-02-2012, 10:06 AM
My dd was 2 when I started and shares all her toys except a few special things.

I would not let a child break a toy because they are playing roughly. Toys get broken by accident but they are replaced and go through my expenses.

Why dont you ask grandparents for money to put in a bank account for you ds.

05-02-2012, 10:10 AM
It's been a bit easier for me as my son was 6 when I started out. He used to have lots of toys in the living room, mainly 3 train tracks (what was I thinking?!) so we moved them to his room because he didn't want the babies I look after touching them.

We rearranged his bedroom the day before I started minding, took out all the toys he thought were babyish and they went in toy boxes for the living room. Any toys he doesn't want the babies to touch he knows he has to keep in his room until they have left for the day.