Advice about 3yr old

[JCrakers]

Morning All,

I have a 3yr old who has been with me since she was a baby, love her and the family are fab.
She was potty trained in the summer and took to it very well. Only problem is she will go for a poo at my house on the toilet if she is desperate. She is happy to go, I praise her but dont make a huge fuss over it, just say 'Well done, I'll run you some water so you can wash your hands etc.'
But at home she will hold them in until bedtime and then do them in her bedtime nappy. This isn't a huge problem but last night she ended up going to bed so late that today she is knackered.

Im not sure if she is doing this so she can stay up later at night. She will go to the toilet here no problems. I'd like to give some advice to Mum.

[ziggy]

I have a 3yr old still in nappies, he will ask for the potty when he is about to do or just done a poo but wont even sit on potty at home. Poor mummy spent £25 on some super duper potty lol

Personally i wouldnt say too much to child, just let her continue doing it in bedtime nappy, make no comment and certainly not keep her up later. Sounds like a bit of a power struggle

[rosebud]

I would suggest the parents try using a very simple reward chart. She receives a sticker / star each time she does it on the toilet and when she has 5 then she gets a reward. They should talk to her beforehand about what they want her to do and let her help decide what the reward will be. (doesn't need to be big) This gives her control of the situation as she is clearly choosing to do it in her nappy and the consequence of making the "right" decision (to do it on the toilet) will be her reward. Once they have explained what they are doing then they should make as little fuss as possible if she does do it in the nappy as they should be focusing on the positives and definitley don't let her stay up late. If this doesn't work then stop mentioning it completely for a few weeks and then try this approach again.

I agree with the previous poster that it it probably about "power" and therefore she has to feel that it is her decision.

[Maza]

My 3 year old DD does exactly the same!!! I have just sat down after changing her right now. I don't think she holds it in until then but she has definitely tried to produce a poo once in bed knowing that it will buy her a few extra minutes out of bed! I think now it has become part of her routine and that is just when she needs to go. It drives me mad! Just when I think it is finally 'me time' I hear her shout "I've done a poooooo!" I don't make a fuss because she has suffered from bad constipation in the past so really I'm just glad that she poos at all. I have completely toned down the nappy changing routine though and keep it as low key as possible so that she doesn't see it as too much fun! I don't chat away to her like I would if it was any other time of day etc etc. (She's in knickers in the day and has no problem using her potty, but previously I used to make nappy time fun.) Maybe from tomorrow I'll try to encourage her to have a poo on her potty at bedtime rather than just a wee. That's the only advice I can give really. It's one of those things that you don't want to make too much of a fuss over as hang ups can set in easily with some children. I put her to bed at the same time each night though and the nappy change is quick so it wouldn't make her tired the next morning.