Personal advice

[NicoleW]

My step son is being bullied again, he is 8. He has already been moved schools because of it, so we are not wanting to move him again (we being his mother and his father, not me).

He got strangled two weeks ago and pushed and punched by this particular boy. It has started again and now step son is refusing to go to school and is constantly in tears. Mum has done everything by the book, reported etc.

This boy is known well to the school, the head described him as "having problems which we are working on" he has two "yellow cards" at the moment and one more incident and he'll have to be removed.


What would you do? This "two yellow card" thing has been going on for months so they are not following through, by strangling other pupils surely he is putting them at risk and the school are not fully protecting its students just because this particular boy has problems. If he does, which I'm not disputing, surely he should be somewhere where he isn't going to be a danger to other children and to get some professional help whilst he is there.


I now have a very upset 8 year old step-son who detestes going to school so much he's started making himself sick as he knows he can't go into school for 48 hours.

What would you do? There's nothing we can do on our part, apart from tell him to keep away which he does. The school aren't taking this seriously enough I don't think but there's nothing again we can do to make them take action. :( Would just like some advice from other professionals.

[barbarella68]

I personally would pull him out and get hold of the Education Department in your area tell them what is happening and that he will not be going back unless they can guarantee that this bully is stopped.I am sorry but I don't care what his needs are or what they are trying to do to stop it, it is not working. Your step son needs to be safe.:mad:

[sarah707]

I would take him out as well and put in a lot of complaints to anyone who will listen. Meanwhile home school him so he does not fall behind.

I would also get him help - maybe martial arts classes where he can learn to control situations but not have to be aggressive.

This really helped my friend's child when he was being bullied as he was confident enough to turn round and silence them.

Hugs to the little man xx

[Pipsqueak]

Log/document it
get hold of the schools policies and quote them back to them in the formal letter of complaint. use your knowledge of ECM and safeguarding. start detaling where you believe the school is failing step son.

CC in the governors AND the LEA

I would also be reporting any further instances to the police - get it logged

start demanding action pronto and start singing from the rooftops


then i would be encouraging young man to start standing up for himself - get him into karate, boxing, some type of self defence. not least it will give him confidence

poor poor kid

[BuggsieMoo]

Take it out of the schools hands, take it to the board of governors, education department at the council and even Ofsted as they are failing in their safeguarding x

[gigglinggoblin]

Agree with Barbarella. Partly for your stepson, partly for the other boy. My son had special needs and the council just dragged their feet and did nothing to help for ages. If parents started writing to them to complain it might have meant he got help sooner. Dont feel bad about what might happen to the boy, he clearly needs help he isnt getting and your complaint might just help him too. I wouldnt force stepson to go to school, he needs to know he can trust his parents to protect him before they think about anyone elses interests which is what this boils down to.

[NicoleW]

Thank you for all your advice, I've passed it on to mum and offered to write a draft letter if she gives me some brief information and I've already got the contact info for local MP and LEA and Ofsted for her.


We live an hour away and he's very much so close to his mum, otherwise I'd offer to home school him while they get it sorted but he can just about spend one night away from her.

Brilliant advice from everyone, thanks again