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buzzy bee
24-01-2012, 04:32 PM
You might have read my other post about the mum who told me I wasn't flexible because I charged her for holiday (which is in the contract, and even though in the past I have swapped many days for her etc)...

Anyway she then handed in her notice, which was 2 weeks ago and last week was the week he was on holiday.

I turned up at school to pick him up today and he didn't turn up so I called her and she said he's started going to after school club now (even though she's paid me for the next 3 weeks, and money is the root of the whole issue apparently).

I just don't understand.

I'm gutted for so many reasons - that what I thought was a good relationship between me and her has turned sour, that my DS hasn't been able to say goodbye to mindee - he loves him, that I didn't get to say bye to mindee, that mindee didn't say bye to me (and possibly isn't even bothered if his mum has told him how terrible I am - after having him for a year and having a good relationship with him).

I just wish I understood why.

:(

buzzy bee
24-01-2012, 05:05 PM
PS what do I do about the register - mum hasn't signed them for a couple of weeks. Is this essential?

francinejayne
24-01-2012, 05:09 PM
I had virtually the same thing happen to me - all over money!

My DS also asked about and missed the minds, but to be honest he has forgotten them now and never asks about them. I also had a couple of weeks register that hadn't been signed - there isn't a lot you can do about that.

People are horrid, you think you know someone and think you have a good relationship, but really they don't care about us :(

Put it down to experience and keep smiling, it will get easier
xxx

rickysmiths
24-01-2012, 05:12 PM
This happens quite often I'm afraid at the end of a contract. Just write on the register that they were on holiday and that they are not returning for the end of the notice period.

I would drop the parents a letter just saying you were disappointed that they didn't let you know they would not be returning to you after their holiday enclose his LJ/Scrapbook and a disc with all his photos on and wish them all the best for the future.

buzzy bee
24-01-2012, 06:59 PM
Thanks for the reassurance.

Yeah parents seem to think this us our hobby and probably don't realise how attached we get to their kids.

I hate the fact she might have slated me to minded. I haven't even done anything wrong!

ziggy
25-01-2012, 08:44 AM
I think so many people are worried about money right now and just doing what they can to save a few pennies, maybe she feels a bit embarrassed, who knows?

I agree with rickysmith about letter

I had a parent (a teacher) come to me over 2 yrs ago, asked my fees then told me what the local nursery was charging saying 'that is the competition ur up against'. I explained that having worked in nursery the care her child would get here would be very very different. Turned out i would have been working for about £2 an hour, so she went to the nursery. When second child was born she returned asking about my fees and would i charge a retainer for holidays. She also went to other minders in village, some of whom charged less than me but all wanted a holiday retainer. So both children went to the nursery. Since then Daddy has lost his job and is main carer. He turned up at my door few weeks ago asking could i take children on odd days when he needed 'to do things'. I agreed to if i had places on days required. This time obviously there wont be any retainer but he didnt quibble about fees either, which are higher for adhoc care.

Think lots of parents just dont see value in care we offer,so try not to feel bad about what has happened as many parents put finances above what is best setting for their children

Tippy Toes
25-01-2012, 10:04 AM
You might have read my other post about the mum who told me I wasn't flexible because I charged her for holiday (which is in the contract, and even though in the past I have swapped many days for her etc)...

Anyway she then handed in her notice, which was 2 weeks ago and last week was the week he was on holiday.

I turned up at school to pick him up today and he didn't turn up so I called her and she said he's started going to after school club now (even though she's paid me for the next 3 weeks, and money is the root of the whole issue apparently).

I just don't understand.

I'm gutted for so many reasons - that what I thought was a good relationship between me and her has turned sour, that my DS hasn't been able to say goodbye to mindee - he loves him, that I didn't get to say bye to mindee, that mindee didn't say bye to me (and possibly isn't even bothered if his mum has told him how terrible I am - after having him for a year and having a good relationship with him).

I just wish I understood why.

:(

Im sorry to hear how this turned out for you, it really is not nice.

I had a similar situation a little while back, had looked after little one for almost 2 years and then parent handed notice through letterbox, out of the blue and never brought child back. It was really sad. I had such a good bond with the little one and thought I had a good relationship with the parents, but I was wrong :(

Never got to say goodbye neither did my daughter who was really close to the little one, she asked where her little friend was for about a year after she left :( I still think about little one now, wonder how she is doing, what she looks like, how she has grown :( Some parents dont seem to realise that their child really does become one of the family in some ways.

After I received the notice letter I sent mum a letter telling her how sad I was that it ended that way and how much little one would be missed, it made me feel better and I new there where no sour grapes from my side :)

Anyway I have waffled on a bit sorry :blush: Just wanted to say I know how you feel but as sad as it is its out of your hands now xx

Mouse
25-01-2012, 10:12 AM
Sadly it happens with the seemingly nicest of parents and it's always over money :(

You just have to harden yourself to it & move on.

Goatgirl
25-01-2012, 10:26 AM
HI :),
Sorry you're so sad xxxx.
It is horrible to be treated unjustly and especially when the children get caught up in it too. There's nothing you could have done though, so at least know you have done all you can.

I have had 2 families do something similar and still do get very upset if a parent is rude or inconsiderate of my setting rules etc, but have hardened up a bit due to the former experiences and now try to see what I achieve with mindees as the important thing and the relationships with the carers as secondary. 9 times out of 10 they will have a change in life and drop you without a thought to the important role you have played in their child's life.

Maybe its just because our job means we spend so much of our time thinking about how to do the best for them that we have this unequal relationship. I don't think its always personal. Just people :rolleyes:.

I would send a goodbye card to the little one with pictures af you, your child(ren) and the mindees in (pogo is great for this!), saying thanks for coming to have fun at your house and have an awesome time at after school club. That way at least he'll have something positive to remind him of you all, whatever he may have picked up from Mum. I'd also send a polite letter to the parents saying you have noted that x will not be attending for the last x amount of time. Then I always finish off with something nice about the child: lively, intelligent, fun, creative etc, say I have enjoyed caring for him, he will be missed and wishing all the best for the family in the future :thumbsup:

Then you know you have been kind and civilised and any bad feeling is beyond your responsibility.

It will be fine in the end, honest. You didn't cause this abrupt ending at least... Hugs xxxx

wendy :)