Feeling sick with nerves!

[aliwali]

I'm giving notice today to a mum I am friends with. I now know why it isn't the best idea to mind for friends. Her little boy has been with me 5 months and I feel from a professional point of view he isn't suited to home based care. He is very attached to me which is good but when I started taking on other children he screams and gets very distressed if I give anyone else any attention. I think he needs to go somewhere with more than 1 adult so he has someone else to go to at times, and to gain some confidence in situations like this.

On one hand I feel like a failure and I'm letting my friend down big time, but for this Childs welfare he needs to be somewhere other than here.

Has anyone else been in a situation like this. I asked to talk to her tonight and now I feel really sick.

Thank you

[ziggy]

I used to mind a friend's daughter part time, the child didnt like me having other children here. After a long break during one summer she returned worse than ever. I sent her home twice as she couldnt be comforted, then had a chat with my friend saying i didnt think my house was suitable for such a quiet child. The parents agreed and we remained good friends

good luck, i can understand you feeling nervous

[suzyblue]

Ive had to do the same thing recently and for the same reasons - I was dreading it but the mum was ok, just try and sound positive, say what would suit him best and that you would love for them to both pop in to see you sometimes.
Good luck!!!!!

[sarah707]

It can be very hard to be honest like you are, especially with a friend. I hope she understands you and realises you are putting her little one first.

Good luck xx

[miffy]

Hope it went OK tonight.

Miffy xx

[Tealady]

I assume this won't be out of the blue and that you have been discussing his issues with her already.

If she's reasonable and you explain it exactly how you put it here then I can't see there being a problem. She may have been worrying about terminating herself as she doesn't want to offend you.

Fingers crossed it went well.

[The Juggler]

hope it went ok hon :)

[aliwali]

It went really badly!! I was very calm and I thought explained everything clearly. They accused me of not wanting to look after a 'difficult' child. Actually he is generally a fairly easy child but that isn't the issue, it's the settling that's the problem and as a setting I can't offer solutions to that.

They left in a very big huff and dad came this morning to collect Childs things. They won't be here this week and they'll let me know about next week. No official notice given yet but I expect it soon.

My theory in life is that you are who you are based on how you react to life, they chose to react badly, and I believe that says a lot. I just hope that the child gets to go somewhere that can help him over the issues.

[Tippy Toes]

Im sorry to hear it went badly xx