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sandy64
19-01-2012, 05:42 PM
hi i no ive asked for help with this lo before but i just want to cry ive so had enough dont no how do deal with her shes 2 half when shes good shes good but 90% shes not shes agresive arguementative, throws toys/furniture today walking to school someone walked past us in street with a lo she smacked her in the face it was so sudden i didnt see it cominbg and she was holding pram:angry:
i no some will be thinking is terrible 2s but its so much more she can be so good then next second shes screaming kicking growling agressive ive never been spoke to like that in 24yrs of minding. spoke to dad tonight as im struggling told him i want to work together but its hard, asked him if he wanted to remove her he said no shes like it at home she then throws a tantrum dad picks her up she slapped him across face 4x said time out when we get home( 20mins away:panic:) ive stuck to my guns time out etc but to no avail and its getting worse shes like to different children i do like this lo or i wouldnt be trying but im tired now any advice please p.s i do a behaviour book so am monitoring things she says and does and i do praise when good

sarah707
19-01-2012, 06:09 PM
If it's so bad that you with all your experience are struggling then I suggest parents take her to the HV for advice.

I'd call a proper meeting with parents - without little one if possible - and go through what she's doing with you and at home.

Make proper decisions about how you are both going to handle it.

I'd make it clear that if things don't change you will have to give notice because you can't carry on feeling like this :(

Hugs xx

The Juggler
19-01-2012, 07:01 PM
oh my goodness there are 4 of these threads today/yesterday for 4 different children and all under 3 :panic:. It's awful that children this young are not getting the boundaries they need to be able to learn to behave in a more social and more balanced emotional way.


Yes, I know that SEN needs can come into it, but there seems a pattern where the parents of these children are detached or unable to provide any discipline.

I agree with Sarah. Get a plan together with mum to work together, i.e. to ensure she is actually using behaviour management techniques - and positive ones - at home. Tell her what you do so she can understand what she COULD be doing - she may just not have a clue - but also suggest emphatically that she visits the HV to rule out any underlying issues. But as in the other threads, I think you need to make it clear to mum that you cannot put the other children at risk if the behaviour does not improve and that you may be unable to continue to care for her child if she continues to show such aggresive behaviour. :panic:

sandy64
20-01-2012, 07:50 AM
thankyou for your advice i will adviice them to see health visitor ive a network coordinator coming next week so will see if she suggest anythink i do think somethink shes seeing at home as the thinks she says isnt the norm im monitoring it, im sat waiting for lo to arrive and not looking forward:panic:

Ripeberry
20-01-2012, 10:01 AM
oh my goodness there are 4 of these threads today/yesterday for 4 different children and all under 3 :panic:. It's awful that children this young are not getting the boundaries they need to be able to learn to behave in a more social and more balanced emotional way.


Yes, I know that SEN needs can come into it, but there seems a pattern where the parents of these children are detached or unable to provide any discipline.

I agree with Sarah. Get a plan together with mum to work together, i.e. to ensure she is actually using behaviour management techniques - and positive ones - at home. Tell her what you do so she can understand what she COULD be doing - she may just not have a clue - but also suggest emphatically that she visits the HV to rule out any underlying issues. But as in the other threads, I think you need to make it clear to mum that you cannot put the other children at risk if the behaviour does not improve and that you may be unable to continue to care for her child if she continues to show such aggresive behaviour. :panic:

I also wonder if these 'detatched' parents are either depressed or the only way they know how to discipline is to smack and because they can't they end up having NO way of doing discipline because they might have been hit all the time as a child. Just a thought :(

The Juggler
20-01-2012, 01:18 PM
I also wonder if these 'detatched' parents are either depressed or the only way they know how to discipline is to smack and because they can't they end up having NO way of doing discipline because they might have been hit all the time as a child. Just a thought :(

I agree, certainly with parents who switch off, I think depression can be a cause - either PND so the child acts up because parent is detached or parent becomes depressed when they can't cope with the behaviour and just let it carry on :panic::panic: these poor mums and kids need help

marnieb
20-01-2012, 04:49 PM
Yes, get mum to go and talk to the hv, and if they can't help they'll be able to refer her to someone who can.

We have had a lot of trouble with ds since he went to middle school in Sept, and I asked for help from the home liason officer - and its been great, she's told me how to talk to them to get them to do things, and she has a wonderful no-nonsense approach!! best one so far was when she told me to talk to ds like a dog - ie 'Tom do this now'...... apparently my face was a picture!!!! :blush: