Screamer

[LChurch]

Hi, I am hoping someone can give me some advice or whatever I need! I look after a child who doesn't speak English (about 19 month old) although I think he does understand English. He does like to scream though! On Monday he screamed for a good 2 hours or more, if I looked at him or gave him a toy he would scream even worse! I managed to get him to have lunch but if I looked at him or tried to encourage him to eat he would scream. My oh came home at lunch time (his lunch break) and again if he looked at him he would scream. We cam back from the school run and he didn't want to get out of the buggy, he is quite capable of getting out of the buggy himself, when I tried to get him out if the buggy he would scream.

I have him again tmrw which is his normal day but I am dreading it if he is going to ahvea repeat of this performance. How can I fill anything in on his learning journal? I cannot really fill much in if he refuses to play and is that stubborn to not join in!

DO you think that maybe part of the screaming is because he has been unwell so off for 3 weeks and also frustration because he doesn't speak English? There are lots of questions I have and keep mulling it over. I would prob lose him if I coud get someone to replace him as he is only really one day a week.

What would you do? I hasten to add even my other mindee was getting frustrated he wasnt interacting with her!

[onceinabluemoon]

What language does he speak? Perhaps could learn a few soothing phrases in his own language to settle him?

[sarah707]

It sounds to me like everything about you, your family, your house, the other children etc is scaring him and he is overloaded with fear.

I would start him really really slowly - give him a cosy place to sit with a few toys and something from home to cuddle, a blanket and cushion and let him watch and listen to you all playing.

Don't push him to join in or do anything for a few weeks until he feels more secure to just be in your space.

Then slowly start to pass him toys and gently interact with him.

For the food I would check what he likes best when with mum and offer little bits of that.

Don't worry about the Learning Journey - just get him settled first.

Hth :D

[miffy]

Settling in a child who comes only one day a week is hard anyway but when they can't speak or might not understand English it must be very frightening for them - imagine yourself being in a strange place where you could not understand what was going on and you couldn't say what you wanted.

I'd talk to mum and see if she can send his favourite toys/comforter from home and maybe even come with him a few times on different days to help him get used to you. If food is an issue then ask mum to provide it for a few weeks just while he gets used to you.

Good luck

Miffy xx

[LChurch]

Hi

I think the main problem is that Mum keeps changing what is going on and hasn't got him into a routine either really! Today he seems much quieter and actually happy to watch the TV. I hasten to add I don't have the TV on all day but the other one has it as a time to rest when we get back from toddlers before lunch time! Also it is slightly happy medium to try and get him distracted from screaming! He has his own food from home and he brings a toy with him from home and that didn't help either! I don't think it is me that is causing him to scream, I think he would do it with any childminder or whatever if his routine is constantly changed. He is also very floppy so I am wondering if there is something else as well that isn't right but not sure yet though! I am hoping that today will be a better day today! I think he is very frustrated not being able to communicate what he wants or doesn't want etc!

Thanks for your advice though.