parents saying sorry?

[newandlearning]

hi all..

Am just wondering if your parents ever say sorry when their child pee's on your sofa or carpet.. one of my 3.5 yo minds pee'd last week on one of my kiddie car cushions.. didn't tell me and then lay on my sofa all wet. it was only coz I was putting puzzles away I realised.. have had to clean my sofa, my rugs and the cushion and although I know this was an accident...

Im puzzled why this mindee didn't tell me? and why parents can only say 'oh dear.. poor Jonny' and not 'sorry.. you had to clean your sofa etc etc'.

I know I'm a busy but am getting rather disillusioned sometimes that parents sometimes only see the impact of their kids and not their kids impact on us.

It took me two hours to clean everything last week ... :panic::(

[Pipsqueak]

I don't expect parents to say sorry or even have the decency to look halfway apologetic!:rolleyes: I am that jaded lol!

All this encouragement that EY teams and Ofsted want for you to share resources etc with parents for them to take home.....

I thought I'd be good and re-try it AGAIN (for the zillionth time).... sent home a set of really decent flashcards with my mindee/parent to work on his speech so it was a continuous development thing...... I stressed they were a decent set, he was working on them well and my son uses them to help him to so please look after them (can you guess where i am going with this).... 3 weeks later after constantly asking for them back - mum hands them back with a 'oh A destroyed them and we didn't get to read them'..... looking at them damned right he has destroyed them he has annilated them. I was quite cross and pointed out that he treats stuff with great respect when he is here and I have never noticed any tendancies to destroy stuff - she just shrugged and then turned away when I said I'd have to get James some more.

I am going to keep them and show Ofsted and the EY team what happens when you do 'share' resources...... and ask them to provide me with resources they don't mind replacing

[rickysmiths]

I don't expect parents to say sorry or even have the decency to look halfway apologetic!:rolleyes: I am that jaded lol!

All this encouragement that EY teams and Ofsted want for you to share resources etc with parents for them to take home.....

I thought I'd be good and re-try it AGAIN (for the zillionth time).... sent home a set of really decent flashcards with my mindee/parent to work on his speech so it was a continuous development thing...... I stressed they were a decent set, he was working on them well and my son uses them to help him to so please look after them (can you guess where i am going with this).... 3 weeks later after constantly asking for them back - mum hands them back with a 'oh A destroyed them and we didn't get to read them'..... looking at them damned right he has destroyed them he has annilated them. I was quite cross and pointed out that he treats stuff with great respect when he is here and I have never noticed any tendancies to destroy stuff - she just shrugged and then turned away when I said I'd have to get James some more.

I am going to keep them and show Ofsted and the EY team what happens when you do 'share' resources...... and ask them to provide me with resources they don't mind replacing

Pip I would give the parents the bill for the new set. They have got to realise that their child should not be destroying stuff at all never mind other peoples. What will they do when he goes to pre-school and school?

[littlecheeks]

to be honest i see accidents as just part of the job! i think with the job we do were always gonna have 'accidents' with wee, poo, juice or who knows what else! I'm sure it would be nice for parents to say sorry, but i don't really see it as a big deal. just clean it up and get over it. i certainly don't get annoyed about it. kids have accidents. maybe the lo didn't say as she was embarrassed or worried too.

[mushpea]

I had one child who was potty trained who I sent to the toilet cause we were jigging,, didnt do a wee on the toilet but came back and sat on my new ( 2nd hand but good condtion and new to me) conservatory furniture and just peed all over them,, parents didnt appologise or make the child appologise even though child new it was wrong.
I have also had potty training children wee all over my carpets so now I tell parents they have to be practicaly dry before they come to me in pants,, its ok to say work with the parents on this but its not ofsted that has to pay out for new furniture or to sit in ahouse that smells of poo and wee.

[uf353432]

Nope would never expect a parent to say sorry (though most of mine would) nor would I make a big deal of it to the child either. I'm not jaded - just see it as part of the job and wouldn't occur to me to seek an apology from a parent.

[little chickee]

i have a 2 and a half yo "toilet training" at the moment although we are now 3 weeks in ( only been with me this week cos of hols) and he has yet to do a wee on the toilet.

In 2 1/2 days with me he has wet himself 12 times.
I have said to mum that he just isnt getting it and she just looks a bit blank!.

However after having to shampoo my living room and hall carpets today cos of it ( couldnt sit in living room last night cos of smell of stale wee:() i am refusing to accept him in pants when he returns on Monday.

If she insists on continueing with toilet training - although at the moment he has no idea what is expected of him - he must be in a pull up.

I have told mum ( who has laminate flooring thoughout her house so not bothered!) that he has peed on my carpets 12 times and she just looks at me like its not a problem.

I feel sooooo bad cos kids and parents are lovely lovely people just not prepared to accept that child is not ready.

Ooooo i feel better now!!!

[Tealady]

I don't expect parents to say sorry or even have the decency to look halfway apologetic!:rolleyes: I am that jaded lol!

All this encouragement that EY teams and Ofsted want for you to share resources etc with parents for them to take home.....

I thought I'd be good and re-try it AGAIN (for the zillionth time).... sent home a set of really decent flashcards with my mindee/parent to work on his speech so it was a continuous development thing...... I stressed they were a decent set, he was working on them well and my son uses them to help him to so please look after them (can you guess where i am going with this).... 3 weeks later after constantly asking for them back - mum hands them back with a 'oh A destroyed them and we didn't get to read them'..... looking at them damned right he has destroyed them he has annilated them. I was quite cross and pointed out that he treats stuff with great respect when he is here and I have never noticed any tendancies to destroy stuff - she just shrugged and then turned away when I said I'd have to get James some more.

I am going to keep them and show Ofsted and the EY team what happens when you do 'share' resources...... and ask them to provide me with resources they don't mind replacing

After seeing the state of some of the books at our local library I don't even mention to parents about lending stuff out.

[singingcactus]

If I told one of my parents that their child had accidentally weed on my sofa, then they would definitely apologise. I don't think I'd be telling them though to be honest - not saying that you shouldn't just that I wouldn't bother. I really don't want to have the parents feeling guilty about an accident and putting unnecessary pressure on them on their child.

When it comes to sending resources home, I have sent home lots of printouts in the past to all families that I don't want returning, and sometimes I send home books and toys but only to those families I know will make use of the resources, or who actually ask for them. I wouldn't send home anything that I used for my child though, especially if it had not initially been requested.

[wendywu]

No i would not even mention it as there is nothing they can do about it.

But i would never let any of my toys or books go home. :panic:

[Monkey26]

I don't normally get annoyed as accidents are accidents BUT back in November we had been having a little party for a mindee's 3rd birthday when a dad arrived (early, despite being forewarned) to collect - when i say collect i actually mean 'dragged' his children out whilst we were still playing pass the parcel!! This resulted in the, very nearly, 5 yr old standing in my hallway, screaming the place down and then she deliberatly wet herself!!! Now i have cared for this child since she was 6 months old and have NEVER seen her do this, and do you know what dad did? Picked her up and walked off :eek::panic::angry: No apology, no disapline nothing. I was shocked, angry and upset - as was my partner who witnessed the whole thing - and i'm not gonna lie, i've lost a lot of respect for this father since that day :( xx

[TooEarlyForGin?]

I think there is a difference between "expecting" it, say when you are helping, with agreement, from the parents with potty training. And older children who you know don't normally do it.

This is where I sometimes don't feel we are respected. I would NEVER send my child to someones house and not apologise should they have an accident or some sort or break something. I know we are being paid to look after children, but it only shows a lack of basic manners. Luckily most of my parents are brilliant, I even have parents who tell their children to thank me for having them, even though I am being paid.

[curly]

i have a 2 and a half yo "toilet training" at the moment although we are now 3 weeks in ( only been with me this week cos of hols) and he has yet to do a wee on the toilet.

In 2 1/2 days with me he has wet himself 12 times.
I have said to mum that he just isnt getting it and she just looks a bit blank!.

However after having to shampoo my living room and hall carpets today cos of it ( couldnt sit in living room last night cos of smell of stale wee:() i am refusing to accept him in pants when he returns on Monday.

If she insists on continueing with toilet training - although at the moment he has no idea what is expected of him - he must be in a pull up.

I have told mum ( who has laminate flooring thoughout her house so not bothered!) that he has peed on my carpets 12 times and she just looks at me like its not a problem.

I feel sooooo bad cos kids and parents are lovely lovely people just not prepared to accept that child is not ready.

Ooooo i feel better now!!!

I've had a few determined to potty train when the child isn't ready and even though it's pointed out they bring them in pants because so and so has potty trained already, but what really gets me is they can see the crawling baby - would they have liked their little one crawling through wet patches, I think not and there's only so many areas you can block off successfully before a crawling baby beats you :p

[Erika]

For me, it would depend on the age and ability of the child. If the child wasn't capable of controlling their bladder, I wouldn't expect to have to apologise for something that my child cannot help and which is generally part and parcel of childhood. Frankly, if a person has difficulty in accepting that a young child will have these episodes and that it will require cleaning, then I would question whether childcare is the correct vocation for that person and would no longer feel comfortable leaving my child in that person's care. I would expect that as I am using the services for childcare provision that the provider would accept this happens and no-one can help it. So I would expect that in the fee, consideration is given for such incidents. However, if the child was capable of controlling their bladder and did it purposefully or by not going to the toilet when they felt the need, then not only would I apologise profusely, I would make my child apologise and insist on paying some cost toward the cleaning, or would happily clean it myself.


I don't expect parents to say sorry or even have the decency to look halfway apologetic!:rolleyes: I am that jaded lol!

All this encouragement that EY teams and Ofsted want for you to share resources etc with parents for them to take home.....

I thought I'd be good and re-try it AGAIN (for the zillionth time).... sent home a set of really decent flashcards with my mindee/parent to work on his speech so it was a continuous development thing...... I stressed they were a decent set, he was working on them well and my son uses them to help him to so please look after them (can you guess where i am going with this).... 3 weeks later after constantly asking for them back - mum hands them back with a 'oh A destroyed them and we didn't get to read them'..... looking at them damned right he has destroyed them he has annilated them. I was quite cross and pointed out that he treats stuff with great respect when he is here and I have never noticed any tendancies to destroy stuff - she just shrugged and then turned away when I said I'd have to get James some more.

I am going to keep them and show Ofsted and the EY team what happens when you do 'share' resources...... and ask them to provide me with resources they don't mind replacing

Perhaps you could introduce a fee for this sort of occurance? Our school (like any school) sends books home with the children to read. On occasion they are also sent home with games or toys. However, before this is sent home, the parents have to sign a form agreeing to pay the cost of replacing items which become lost or damaged whilst in their care.

[Pipsqueak]

Perhaps you could introduce a fee for this sort of occurance? Our school (like any school) sends books home with the children to read. On occasion they are also sent home with games or toys. However, before this is sent home, the parents have to sign a form agreeing to pay the cost of replacing items which become lost or damaged whilst in their care.

No it won't be happening any time soon again. i have been nagged by my EY team again about 'sharing resources' so this proves my point well I think.... so unless the EY team (or ofsted) want to provide an unlimited supply of resources they don't mind getting destroyed, lost, and damaged to the point of unusable then I won't be!

[mum2two]

I've had the same. Had one child sick all over by brand new 4 week old sofa!!! Called parent about 1pm, and they eventually turned up about 10 to 5 (collect at 5 anyway!) No apology, nothing. :angry:

I hate kids bringing stuff to ours too. They bring it, then don't want anyone else to touch it. If they don't share it goes up. Plus, it's inevitable in my house that things will get broken. With the vast range of kids, they might get argued over & pulled apart, fallen on, thrown if a toddler (normally my own... :blush:) is having a tantrum. It's really not like there is nothing to do in my house.... :rolleyes:

xx