Really not enjoying this :(

[NicoleW]

Don't get me wrong I really WANT to start enjoying it but I just am not..

I find I'm looking at the clock waiting for the day to pass.

I have one mindee two days a week ( Got registered about 7 months ago) and he has just turned 1 years old, I have my own 18 month old daughter as well.

Just a bit... Bored... I find it hard to play with either of the children as I can't seem to get into the ''frame mind'' of interacting with them, I rough play (gently of course!) but that's about as far as it goes.

I know I'm a bad Childminder for this and I want to be a good one. Any tips? :(

I don't drive and I find it hard going to the childminding playgroup that is on here as it means I'll have to walk 25 minutes to school then about 40 minutes from school to playgroup by the time I've done that I feel like falling asleep around lunch time :(

[Pipsqueak]

You are not a 'bad' childminder at all - I actually think you are a very brave person for admitting that you are struggling.

Are there other minders about you can pal up with perhaps?

Childminding isn't for everyone - the stark reality of it can be very different to the expectations. It can be a very lonely and isolating job.
Are you expecting to much of yourself. In the mornings at the moment - my two littlies - 2yrs and 1yr basically arrive at 7.30 - have some brekkie and a play - we go to school and they are normally fast asleep for most of the morning. we have lunch at 11.30 ish and they go home at 12.30ish. that is the extent of my day. I'd love to get out to groups but it just ain't happening at the moment.

[It's a small world]

I think we all have days like this. so please dont feel like your a bad cm. I have three mindees all 15-16 months one is very interactive and joins in everything very clever for age. Another just sits and takes it all in cant grasp anything we do and I so want to help them develop. Im struggling with their LJ to be honest and find Im looking at pictures just to try and find something to link it too. I know we shouldnt compare but with only a few weeks between each I their is huge developments between their developments. Let them free play as Ive been told you cant always plan with under 3's. Sit with them if they want you to interact they will come to you. Do you know any other CMs near you maybe arrange play dates at each others houses.

Maybe the wrong advice didnt want to read and run but sure someone with experience will be along soon. xxx

[peppa Pig]

What about going to the group in a taxi, say once a month so you can make links with other minders and then making play dates at yours for other minders and mindees and vice versa. Are there any local toddler groups, soft play, school coffee mornings you could go to. You really do need to make friends and get out you'll go stir crazy at home everyday with just babies for company.

Do you have any interests you could engage in with the children to get you interacting? Mine love sorting out messy drawers, bit like a treasure basket full of interesting bits and bobs, as long as you risk assess, it's a great thing to do together and it has a purpose for you.

Maybe ask your d/o to visit and watch you on a normal day to give you hints and tips how you could make the day more engaging for you.

It's a tough old job and can be very lonely at least you know where we are for support.

[Vickster]

I think the best thing you can do with this age group is get out and about a bit! I have three under twos that I look after and my 2.5 year old daughter and if it wasn't for my 2.5 yr old and the 21 mth old, I would be very bored! Park, shops, library, museum, soft play....groups, other childminders houses. Adult company is a must once a day

[ChocolateChip]

I agree it sounds like you need some company and to get out, they are not really company for you at that age.
I know you don't drive, but are there any nice parks and walks near you?
If you don't know any other cm's what about just other friends with lo's, you could go for walks with them or have them over, it's fine to visit people now and then as long as you risk assess everything.
Are you ok with the planning and obs side of things, that might give a little direction to your days to try and get one ob done every couple of weeks.

[PixiePetal]

I don't drive, don't do a school run and if I didn't get out every now and then might go a bit stir crazy!

I catch a bus to my local town - I live outside a village on a farm - to go to library, parks, farm park on other side of town etc. usually split my week by having some days in and 1 or 2 trips out. Also walks in the country with my double mountain buggy just chatting to mindees (well out loud - don't think they really listen!)

I also have other CM round for play and lunch - especially in summer as the garden is a dream :) :thumbsup:

1 yr olds soon turn into 2yr olds who can do a bit more and once they start walking and talking you will be so busy you will be glad of some peaceful times!

hope all goes well from now on :)

[Vickster]

PS this is a really hard time of year. Better weather will be a revelation to you!

[PerkyEars]

Thanks for posting that. I'm struggling with similar feelings myself. I also find it hard to 'play with' the kids in an open ended way. I can cope with it if it's structured, like a board game or a book, because I know when the end is going to be. Otherwise I start feeling bored, trapped, and then guilty! :o

One thing that's helped me is something I got from the housework guru FlyLady. She has a saying 'you can do anything for 15 minutes'. It's so very true. Now if I'm not feeling like playing, I look at the clock, tell myself I will engage with whatever it is for 15 minutes, and the 15 minutes usually flys by into 20 or 30. Then I can disengage for a bit with no guilt.

I don't think children always need as much engagement as some people think. Admittedly I'm at quite the extreme 'hands-off' end with my daughter, and I'm trying to improve and engage more with her and the mindees, but I've come across parents who want to fill every moment with educational activities, and I don't think their kids always seem very relaxed or self-reliant to be honest.

[Vickster]

I have found a good blog http://playathomemom3.blogspot.com/ which is great for ideas and encourages independent play

[Velleity]

I couldn't Childmind if I was in the house all day each day. I think somehow you need to find ways of getting out to groups, or anywhere really - it really does make the days go faster, the children enjoy themselves and you get to connect with other adults. No negatives really :)

[PerkyEars]

That blog looks like a great resource, thanks Vickster. :)

[Bluebell]

it sounds to me like your mindee and your lo are content and happy! This must mean you are not a bad childminder at all.
when I started I seemed to be busy - either playing with them, preparing craft activities or preparing snacks or tidying round after them but on the times when they were playing independently and not requiring any attention i was like - er - what am i suppose to do now? and felt like i couldn't sit down and enjoy it because i was being paid to look after them which is ridiculous because these children are happy in your company and are not demanding attention from you!
If you are bored and feel you want to do a bit more then maybe organise some craft activities - get out some paints or some messy play - they will cover themselves the table and walls and you and you will spend the rest of the day clearing up after them!! sorry i know i'm not funny really - seriously though they might enjoy it and get some giggles out of it.

maybe get a cd with some nursery rhymes on - sing along and do the actions and that will engage them - although with mine i think they just think i am barmy ! also and i think i'm repeating myself here take some photos of what they are doing. they are occupied and happy doing all these different things you can be occupied taking pictures and its a wonderful way to share a childs day with parents. mine play up to the camera now - they are older than yours - but they pull faces, run to check the image, take pictures themselves and love talking about them.
I agree with children not needing to do something constructive every single second of the day too - just playing is a wonderful thing. maybe you could write some obs? ...children are absorbed in an activity or prolonged playing or something!
Good luck and Best wishes x

[The Juggler]

rather than aim to play too much 'with' them, rather set it up and observe them. I think you will find it interesting what they are actually doing. then just narrate their play for them hon.

also agree with the advice, def. make some CM friends. It can be lonely xx

[Mollymop]

You are not a bad childminder at all!
Some days i feel bored and a lot of the time I watch the clock go bye (specially on a MOnday and a Friday!), it is just human nature.
Have you tried planning your day ?? - it helps to motivate you and you will find the day goes much quicker. Maybe popping out more, to the library or a tot group? Give it a chance u will get used to it x

[Mollymop]

PS this is a really hard time of year. Better weather will be a revelation to you!

I was going to "LIKE" this comment but I then realised I am not atm on facebook:eek::o

[ORKSIE]

PS this is a really hard time of year. Better weather will be a revelation to you!

Totally agree with this.

Winter is a bad time.

Try..if you can, join in some groups, they do help. This can be a very isolated job, if you let it. Especially this time of year
xx

[ORKSIE]

I was going to "LIKE" this comment but I then realised I am not atm on facebook:eek::o

:blush:Me too :laughing:

[angeldelight]

I have found a good blog http://playathomemom3.blogspot.com/ which is great for ideas and encourages independent play

Dont forget there are heaps of ideas here too in the forum

Hope things work out for you ..... I think we can all get days like that too

Angel xx

[angeldelight]

I was going to "LIKE" this comment but I then realised I am not atm on facebook:eek::o

Now that is what I call facebook addiction :laughing::laughing:

Angel xx

[loocyloo]

also agree with the advice, def. make some CM friends. It can be lonely xx

try and make friends with some other cm, or at least some other mums with LOs.

i moved 8 mths ago, and my own children are at school and i find it quite lonely during the day with LO for company, but we go out to toddlers, and childrens centre and to local coffee shops, where they are getting to know us quite well :blush: and i AM making friends with other people. there is only one other CM in my town, and only a few scattered far and wide from me. so i am reliant on mums with LOs!

and if i'm really stuck, then i come onto the forum! ;) always someone to 'chat' to here. :D

[ORKSIE]

and if i'm really stuck, then i come onto the forum! ;) always someone to 'chat' to here. :D

:thumbsup:

xx

[Mollymop]

:blush:Me too :laughing:

ohh was gonna like this too!! where has the like button gone..... \

oh!

[NicoleW]

THank you so much for all your responses.
I've not been to check for a while as I was scared of the replies I get.


I have a playgoup on monday, and two tuesdays a month it's the childmiding eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[NicoleW]

Sorry silly keyboard went doolally! Got another childminding playgroup on tuesday coming up. I think once I get back into the habit of going to all the groups I'll feel so much better.

Thank you for all your advice and kind words :) Means a lot