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karensmart4
08-12-2011, 07:24 PM
not have children.....

We have been busy making lovely Christmas cards and decorations as I'm sure all of you have, anyway one of the lil girls wanted to take one home today and do you know what her Mum said to her own 3yr old daughter.............

"You don't think you're putting that on MY tree do you" :eek: :angry:

Ripeberry
08-12-2011, 07:30 PM
Very sad, but quite common. When I used to help out at the pre-school, one parent would refuse to take anything home that her child made because it was not 'pretty' enough.
Talk about crushing your child :(

caz3007
08-12-2011, 07:31 PM
not have children.....

We have been busy making lovely Christmas cards and decorations as I'm sure all of you have, anyway one of the lil girls wanted to take one home today and do you know what her Mum said to her own 3yr old daughter.............

"You don't think you're putting that on MY tree do you" :eek: :angry:

Poor child. Make sure you give her a special hug tomorrow

boxtree7
08-12-2011, 07:31 PM
Very sad indeed but very common - I don't mind how things look

samb
08-12-2011, 07:32 PM
Oh no poor child! :panic: Think I would have asked if she wanted to help me put her fantastic creation on "my" tree so you could enjoy it every day!

kellib
08-12-2011, 07:34 PM
Poor thing :(

I'd have made a big show about telling the child she could put it on my tree instead

karensmart4
08-12-2011, 07:44 PM
We have a tree in the playroom, all the children helped to decorate it with something they had made :)

This mum is so arrogant all she thinks of is herself ...... grrrrr doesn't she realise that children are only little for such a short time and she should cherish every moment. There will be plenty of time for her to have a 'perfect' tree later if she wants one!

Sorry :D

jojobell
08-12-2011, 07:46 PM
aww thats awfull,,,, i would have done the same, made point of saying well i love it do u wnt to put it on my tree...................poor child!

Chimps Childminding
08-12-2011, 08:07 PM
Grrrrr :angry: We had a parent like that!! We had made St Patrick's Day headbands, and one little girl said she would leave hers with us as mummy would just throw it in the bin :(

lozzy23
08-12-2011, 08:11 PM
It is common, I had one parent, when I was at pre-school, complain that their child did not do anything crafty. He just never wanted to and we never forced him. One day we were so excited because he did a painting, it was a few swirls, all his own work. Lots of praise from his keyworker, his mum on collection took one look said "that's rubbish" and dropped it in the bin on the way out.:angry:

karensmart4
08-12-2011, 08:12 PM
Grrrrr :angry: We had a parent like that!! We had made St Patrick's Day headbands, and one little girl said she would leave hers with us as mummy would just throw it in the bin :(

That's so sad from 2 points #1 the parent not appreciating the effort the child has gone to and #2 the child recognising that fact :panic:

Pipsqueak
08-12-2011, 08:20 PM
Oh I get sooo cross when I hear of stuff like that.:angry:

I have only had one parent like that and i told them that I found what they were saying totally shocking ..... horrid ratbags:angry:

watgem
08-12-2011, 08:34 PM
when i worked at a preschool many parents would throw their childs creations in the dumpster on the way out:/ so sad and rude

buzzy bee
08-12-2011, 08:56 PM
My dad was like this and I am living proof that this sort of parenting leads to very low self esteem. Just makes you realise how important your job is - you can balance out her negativity :thumbsup:

Chimps Childminding
08-12-2011, 09:36 PM
That's so sad from 2 points #1 the parent not appreciating the effort the child has gone to and #2 the child recognising that fact :panic:

What was even more annoying was mum admitted it was true, and wasn;t the slightest bit embarrassed about it :(

zippy
08-12-2011, 09:42 PM
Make some more and let them take pride of place on your tree, how awful, just don't understand some people

The Juggler
08-12-2011, 09:45 PM
i'm with Pip on this one. I think I'd have to say something to the parent and make them realise how they are damaging their child's self esteem saying these things :angry:

karensmart4
08-12-2011, 10:09 PM
i'm with Pip on this one. I think I'd have to say something to the parent and make them realise how they are damaging their child's self esteem saying these things :angry:

I think I will take yours and Pips advice and speak to her Mum, she is a big, strong, self opinionated women but I will ask her for an end of term meeting (her child is on 15hrs a week funding), then she should see me in my professional role and may take some notice of what I say.

Her daughter (3) and son (20mths) have got lots of glittery bits and bobs to take home after our party on the 22nd I wonder what she'll do with those :(

The Juggler
08-12-2011, 10:49 PM
good for you. just tell her no matter what she thinks it will affect how they see themselves by what she says. she can photograph them and 'recycle' them after a while but to appreciate them. maybe tell her they might look like scribbles but that the effort, concentrate and learnign (mark making practice) are v. important and having her appreciate them makes such a difference to their development. :)

nikki thomson
08-12-2011, 10:56 PM
It's awful for her to say that in front of her child I would never do that however my dd does bring some strange things back that she has made at pre-school, only last week she bought back a dishwasher box with a straw stuck on it, it wasn't decorated or anything, it was a boat according to my dd anyway I left it on the side for a couple of days having removed it from the recycling more than once as my hubby kept putting it in there and then when she wasn't looking I put in the recycling.
I do think they can bring home alot of arts and crafts and you can't keep everything but I would never say to my children that's rubbish and put it in the bin. X

ziggy
09-12-2011, 10:33 AM
my own parents were like that and to be honest still are!!!

so i think i go a bit over board praising my own and my mindees lol

Mindees aged from 14months to 6yrs decorated 2 trees earlier this week, we had 6 baubles on one branch lol but heyho

The children were so excited and everyone who came in had to look at the trees, one of my parents told me that she intends to do her tree next week when her own children are at school (she has 4) as she doesnt like the way they do it:eek:

Shame these parents dont realise what a wonderful magical time this is, my own 2 are now 32 and 21 and living in England, i would love to got back to their pre-school days

EmmaReed84
09-12-2011, 11:00 AM
OMG!!! My house is full of decorations the kids made. I asked parents if I could keep them up until they break up for xmas because they are all so lovely and it is exactly what christmas is all about... Children! All the parents love coming in and seeing what the kids make, one parent even said she can't wait to get it home and put them up in her house.

mama2three
09-12-2011, 12:31 PM
Now I must admit to doing my tree all on my own as Im the only one who will do it right! My boys do have a seperate tree they can decorate with whatever and however they like too!
BUT on my tree are beauitful antique glass baubles that have passed down my family - all mixed in with amazing ( to me!) creations from when my boys were small . My other christmas decorations are pretty much exclusively hand made with love .
No matter what my child presented me with it would be met with a wide smile and praise ! I love them so I love their creations - easy really!

LOOPYLISA
09-12-2011, 12:36 PM
Miserable so and so :angry:

I wish my dd (age 13) was still small and made things for the tree :(

jelly15
09-12-2011, 12:54 PM
My DSs aged 19 and 16 get embarrassed every year when their childhood decorations get pride of place on the tree (but they never remove them). I have a parent who asked me to cut down on arts and crafts as she has to deal with a scene every time she tries to bin them :( . I said no as I am not leaving her LO out when the other children are having fun.

EmmaReed84
09-12-2011, 01:00 PM
My DSs aged 19 and 16 get embarrassed every year when their childhood decorations get pride of place on the tree (but they never remove them). I have a parent who asked me to cut down on arts and crafts as she has to deal with a scene every time she tries to bin them :( . I said no as I am not leaving her LO out when the other children are having fun.

:eek: I have a massive folder that my mum gave tome when I left home, it was all my work from when I was at nursery right through primary school. It was so lovely looking back and I even remember doing some of the things... I have done that with my kids, nothing like that gets thrown away. These are my treasures!

Tealady
09-12-2011, 02:05 PM
I'm like one of the Previous Posters. I have "my" tree that is all colour co-ordinated in the lounge. Then there's the childrens tree in the dining room.

As with art work, it all goes on the cupboard door for a few days at least, the good stuff stays up longer then goes in a folder to keep the not so fantastic stuff comes down when we need room, then gets recycled once the children are in bed so they don't know what's been kept and what's been binned.

Last year when my DD was in reception we had a junk model home nearly everyday, so I can empathise when some parents find it too much, but I did praise each model on it's brilliance, a few have been kept but the others where recycled as they fell apart.

Pipsqueak
09-12-2011, 02:48 PM
we aren't precious about our tree... anything and everything goes on it and more and more gets added each year - its totally ragtag and unco-ordinated

I have a 'gallery' of amazing works of art by ALL the children, not just mine and it overspills the gallery into the rest of the house.

I have a box each for the children (own kids) with all their stuff over the years

onceinabluemoon
09-12-2011, 05:05 PM
I used to be precious about my tree but one day realised I was doing to my kids what my mum did to me (we were never allowed near the tree). I used to let them help and once they were in bed rearrange it all how I wanted it, kidding myself that they never knew (they did of course). Then one day I realised it was just a stupid tree, nobody ever saw it but me and the kids so what did it matter what it looked like. My kids now decorate it every year and do a fabulous job.

As for art work, one thing I hate almost as much as the parent who says "ugh that's hideous" is the parent that doesn't look and then says in a flat tone "oh thats lovely", the children know they don't mean it so why bother...

I would have asked the LO to put the decoration up on my wall (we don't have a the yet)

Pipsqueak
09-12-2011, 05:11 PM
hah - Brian has just come in and added a set of santa lights

the kids have been busy shoving more baubles on!! lol

stardust
09-12-2011, 06:27 PM
My mum is ocd about her christmas tree she spends hours doing the lights and the baulbales, when she came to mine monday she went on about my tree then went over to 'do it properly':eek: she got told that i owuld throw her out if she touched my tree.:angry: My mindees helped me decorate it (my son is 6 mths so couldnt really help as he would eat it!) and i am proud of what they have done! :clapping: even if the bottom half has 90% of the baulbles!

mrs robbie williams
09-12-2011, 06:38 PM
not have children.....

We have been busy making lovely Christmas cards and decorations as I'm sure all of you have, anyway one of the lil girls wanted to take one home today and do you know what her Mum said to her own 3yr old daughter.............

"You don't think you're putting that on MY tree do you" :eek: :angry:

I know exactly where you're coming from - i mind 2 siblings and the dad collects and often throws what they have made in my recycling box :eek: :eek: :eek: and when the girls say i made that, he just laughs and says its rubbish :eek: :censored:

karensmart4
09-12-2011, 07:33 PM
I just feel sooo sad reading some of these.

Children are precious and we need to encourage and nurture every one of them.

Our tree in the playroom was decorated by the children with things that they have made, including the angel on the top.... some branches have multiple decorations and some have nothing, it doesn't matter, what does matter is the fact that the children did the work and can see it every time they come in :thumbsup:

I'm not blowing my own trumpet here by any means and I'm not saying all parents should treat their children the same but..... they should realise that what they say and do impacts on their child now and will continue to do so in their future.

Rant and lecture over :D

Karen

Maza
09-12-2011, 09:20 PM
What a lack of foresight - can she not see that such comments will have such a detrimental long term efffect on her child?

Jiorjiina
10-12-2011, 12:20 PM
We have moved twice since I left school, and at about 5 times in total since I left primary school, and every single time we have carted along at least one big box of all our school projects.

This includes the papier mache humpty dumpty I made when I was 5, my brother's Nativity play Father Christmas costume, my pre-school ballet outfit (I was a bunny), goodness knows how many rolls of drawings, several pottery projects and a large papier mache and chicken wire recreation of a first world war trench made for a GCSE history project (complete with a wooden base, shell holes, chicken wire barbed wire and matchstick duckboards!).

I suspect the last one may be going into overkill, myself, but my mum refuses to let us throw any of it out. I think everything we ever made she accepted with at least a smile and a thank you, even the stuff we thought ourselves was really bad. (The really bad stuff got quietly binned later)

I think it's so sad when you see parents not appreciating their kids artwork. All it takes is a smile and a thank you, at a bare minimum. Would they be that rude to another adult's work? What makes it acceptable to do this to a child?

xgemx
10-12-2011, 03:13 PM
This makes me so mad

My tree well it looks like every thing has literally been thrown on it here there and everywhere, my kids did it i love it its far from perfect but christmas is about the kiddies so if they love it so do i

I must say i dont keep a lot of stuff i have a lack of space bu ti put a few things on the walls, then just replace when they bring home some more and either recycle when the kids dont know or the kids love putting bits of artworkin envelopes stick a stamp on and posting them to nanny, grandad, auntie etc the kids love that someone is gonna to get a surprise and as a few family members live abroad they dispose when they have enough and the kiddies are not upset

Lady Haha
11-12-2011, 12:23 PM
I'm in the 'everything chucked at the tree' gang! We have two as well, one in the lounge and one in the playroom and both of them are 'special' shall we say!:laughing: The lounge one is decorated by my son and me only as I want us to have our own family one if you know what i mean. The playroom one is decorated by the mindees. They are both 6ft tall and look absolutely revolting, but I love them!!!!:laughing:

The lounge tree has every decoration my 9 yr old son has ever made hanging off it including an 8" salt dough snowman he made in nursery when he was 2!

I can't understand parents who don't appreciate their child's efforts!