Completing to talk at the dinner table

[Zoomie]

I need earphones.

Meal times, especially at lunch time when it is just the under 5's are so noisy.

Two / three children are constantly completing to talk, or have their turn to talk and today I resorted to telling the two overtalking everyone else, that they had to be quiet and couldn't talk :blush: .

This, in conjunction with us remembering to chew with our mouths closed, swallow our food and then talk, is stressing me out big time.

Can anyone give some tips about how I can control talking at the table. Its not like there is a serious topic under conversation, its just general chit chat, but the shouting, 'I was talking first' (I honestly don't know who started talking first because this started on our way down the stairs after we had washed our hands).

Please help.

Also, I want to make a noise level chart with green for talking and red for too loud that I can show move the arrow across / around to show them when they are being too loud and how they can get back to quiet / green (or something on those lines - goodness I don't even know what name to use to google for it) :blush: :blush:

[The Juggler]

sounds like our house hon. or used to be when mindees ate dinner. mind you can be like that on the school run home as well asking them to wait turns to talk to me.

even without mindees at the table, me and DH have an ongoing battle - i was brought up with 'one conversation at a tiem at the table and we all listen', he and his family think nothing of carrying on several conversations at once round the table - drives me nuts :angry: so with my kids I'm fighting a losing battle :panic: :panic:

[EmmaReed84]

My friend used to use a talking box. It was just a small box and you could only speak of you had the box. It worked well for her... Caused arguements on our house though... Just a thought though was fun to try it lol

[Cinderbella]

I like the idea of a talking box! Me and my husband are both registered and can sometimes have 9 children around the table for Dinner, you can imagine the noise levels :laughing: I might try this:laughing:

If they are getting too noisy sometimes we play the quiet game.... the quietes gets a sticker! It doesn't last very long though :laughing:

[Pauline]

A talking box makes me think of Lord of the Flies where you could only speak if you held the conch! :laughing:

Have you thought about discussing choking and how your food can 'go down the wrong way'. Mealtimes in particular are scary when youngsters are constantly talking and arguing, don't make the talk too scary but often they can understand what you mean and all they need is a reminder "no talking you might choke" for them to calm down.

Perhaps some books on 'our body' might help to reinforce it and make an activity from it?

I also add that not only might they choke but so could I while having to keep telling them, and I don't want to be talk while I am eating!!

I've done this talk with ours and now often all I have to do is hold up my finger to my lips and they all stop chattering :laughing:

[christine e]

I know it can be very difficult and the thought of passing something around the table so that person can speak would just lead to more drinks than normal being knocked over in our house :laughing: . TBH I just intervene and ask that everyone listens to what A has to say then ask if anyone else wants to chip in and move around in turn - hard to keep up I know but I keep trying and it usually stays under control


Cx

[ziggy]

I usually just say 'quiet voices at the table please' and if the noise persists i will ask loudest to leave the table and come back when they can talk 'sensibly', normally works

As for table manners it shocks me how many of the children cant behave at the table, i have a family aged 6, 7 and 9 and they cant even cut up fish fingers, just stab every thing with a fork and eat off fork, yuk!!!

[JCrakers]

We have quiet voices when eating. The children are usually quite good but if gets too loud I just remind them. Its usually the older school children who usually start a conversation and that turns into an arguement, arms get flung around and drinks get spilt.
So I just nip it in the bud before it starts...it works well here. I have two boys who are very hard to control and once they get started its very hard to calm them down so we are always calm.

I also have a rule of quiet in the hallway when we are putting shoes/coats on, going out or coming in as hubbie works from home 2-3 days a week and if there are a lot of screaming, shouting kids at the bottom of the stairs its not good for his work and he's the main wage earner so we have to respect that.

It works well although the two boys are very hard work and I have to remind them probably 3 times every morning. :rolleyes:

[rosebud]

I would focus on listening rather than talking, only one person should be speaking and the rest of us should be listening, when that person has finished then someone else can add to the conversation but they need to take it in turns. I think listening is a skill which gets very overlooked and is really important.