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View Full Version : Not allowed to go too Toddlers.



little chickee
06-12-2011, 09:17 AM
I mind 2 brothers. Both have had quite bad colds over the last couple of weeks but are now getting better.

oldest boy is troubled with asthma when he gets a cold.

Mum is blaming me taking them to toddlers for them catching a cold and now says i'm not to take them til they are 100% better.

thats 3 weeks now that i've had to miss. she doesnt want them mixing anywhere with other kids so no toddlers, soft play, friends house etc. I'm feeling really housebound and unhappy.

I've not been sleeping well and really feel like i need to get out the house to keep me alert otherwise i just want to sit on sofa and sleep!

What would you do? Go along with the parents wishes or stick to my routine and go?

Velleity
06-12-2011, 09:23 AM
I would be out of the door and on my way to groups .. however I would have first informed parents that was my intention. There is absolutely no need to remain at home if the child has a cold.

EmmaReed84
06-12-2011, 09:23 AM
I would talk to the parents and reach a mutual agreement. I can understand her not wanting her kids to get ill again so close to xmas, but again I know how it feels to not go anywhere.

Just explain the importance of the kids getting out and getting fresh air, being couped up with not make them any better. Cant you go out for a walk to the park with them, wrap them up nice and warm, you get out the house, they get the fresh air they need and not stuck in a small room where they can catch more bugs.

rickysmiths
06-12-2011, 09:46 AM
Simple, if mum doesn't think her children are fit enough to take part in my daily routine she should keep them at home.

I wonder how she would feel if the boot was on the other foot and one of the other parents had said no toddlers? I bet she would have been up in arms if her little ones were grounded for weeks.

I would have said no and carried on going out. I bet all the Christmas parties are next week and there is no way I would let los miss those.

AliceK
06-12-2011, 09:55 AM
Simple, if mum doesn't think her children are fit enough to take part in my daily routine she should keep them at home.

I wonder how she would feel if the boot was on the other foot and one of the other parents had said no toddlers? I bet she would have been up in arms if her little ones were grounded for weeks.

I would have said no and carried on going out. I bet all the Christmas parties are next week and there is no way I would let los miss those.

Agree :thumbsup: This is what I would be telling her. She cannot dictate that you can't go anywhere and you can't do your regular routines. She's being totally ridiculous if you ask me. Kids get colds all the time especially at this time of year, get a grip woman (her, not you!)

xxxxx

jane5
06-12-2011, 09:58 AM
Is she serious :eek:

I would be telling her that if her children where not well enough to attend groups and participate fully then they are not well enough to attend.

If she wants to dictate where they go everyday she needs a nanny. I would go insane if I had to stay in with lo's every day and I think the lo's would too.

ziggy
06-12-2011, 10:05 AM
I agree, i would tell her that if her children arent fit enough to join in activities/groups then she should keep them at home

nikki thomson
06-12-2011, 10:08 AM
Is she serious :eek:

I would be telling her that if her children where not well enough to attend groups and participate fully then they are not well enough to attend.

If she wants to dictate where they go everyday she needs a nanny. I would go insane if I had to stay in with lo's every day and I think the lo's would too.

Totally agree, abet if you say there not well enough to come to you they'll make a miraculous recovery and are now fine to go to toddlers and mix with other children, some parents have very funny ideas. X

little chickee
06-12-2011, 10:37 AM
I feel a bit torn really cos they are really nice parents - they are neighbours and we get on well.

I can appreciate that she doesnt want the older boy to be asthmatic again but i can't just stay at home 4 days a week.

what happens when they are better and we go back to toddlers and they get a cold again - will i be banned forever?

very grumpy today esp as i crashed my car into a wall last night.:(

rickysmiths
06-12-2011, 10:40 AM
I feel a bit torn really cos they are really nice parents - they are neighbours and we get on well.

I can appreciate that she doesnt want the older boy to be asthmatic again but i can't just stay at home 4 days a week.

what happens when they are better and we go back to toddlers and they get a cold again - will i be banned forever?

very grumpy today esp as i crashed my car into a wall last night.:(

It is hard when parents are nice but you can't stay at home for 4 days a week and deprive the other children of toddlers.

Sorry about your car.

The Juggler
06-12-2011, 01:28 PM
i would point her to your sick ness policy hon, which I am sure says something along the lines of "if children are not well enough to join in normal activities then they must be kept at home" :panic:

Ripeberry
06-12-2011, 01:39 PM
Ditto all of the above and remember YOU are the boss, you are not her nanny. If the kids are so ill,then they should not be with you. No way would I let a parent dictate what I could do, especially not weeks on end :mad:

Pipsqueak
06-12-2011, 01:40 PM
i would point her to your sick ness policy hon, which I am sure says something along the lines of "if children are not well enough to join in normal activities then they must be kept at home" :panic:

might be worth pointing out though when you say children should be 'kept home' that it doesn't mean YOUR home though lol:laughing:

no way would I be going along with being told that I can't go somewhere especially if THEIR child is poorly:rolleyes:

Ripeberry
06-12-2011, 01:42 PM
It is hard when parents are nice but you can't stay at home for 4 days a week and deprive the other children of toddlers.

Sorry about your car.

Sorry about your car. But the parents are being unreasonable. What have they been doing the last few weekends then? Have they stayed at home?

It's a small world
06-12-2011, 02:05 PM
My ds suffers from asthma and has attacks if he gets a cold so this time of year the worst but I would never stop him from going school ( in case he gets a cold - no diff to going playgroup apart from group occasional and school everyday ) you cannot prevent them catching colds they are all around at the moment. My point being would she stop child going school incase he gets a cold from a friend?? As long as you have inhales and what ever medication required . Know what procedure to take should an attack take place I would take them group. Obviously say to mum first . And if she says not well enough to attend groups or daily routine then not well enough to attend setting. Why should others miss out plus bet mindee feels they are missing out because mummy days no . Xx

little chickee
06-12-2011, 02:13 PM
Thing is they are both much better this week - not unwell at all.

she just wants to be 100% sure they are all better before i go back to the groups.

I had to cancel a trip to soft play last wednesday too that my kids wanted to go to. I just have these 2 just now so i can't use the excuse of impacting on others either.

PixiePetal
06-12-2011, 02:17 PM
Thing is they are both much better this week - not unwell at all.

she just wants to be 100% sure they are all better before i go back to the groups.

I had to cancel a trip to soft play last wednesday too that my kids wanted to go to. I just have these 2 just now so i can't use the excuse of impacting on others either.

but they are impacting on your routine and your own children. I would not let my children miss out on things because of this - you are a CM not a nanny

if they are not well enough then they should be at home.

Pipsqueak
06-12-2011, 02:47 PM
Thing is they are both much better this week - not unwell at all.

she just wants to be 100% sure they are all better before i go back to the groups.

I had to cancel a trip to soft play last wednesday too that my kids wanted to go to. I just have these 2 just now so i can't use the excuse of impacting on others either.

they are either too poorly to be out (ergo with you) and about and exposed to germs that help them build up a decent immune system OR they are well enough to be with you and joining in a normal day.
No way no chance would my kids or other mindees whose parents pay me, be missing planned arrangements for ONE family.

by 'impacting' that doesn't mean other mindees, it means you and yours.
you are NOT a nanny - if they want this then they can pay nanny wages
you are NOT a nurse either

'impacting' is NOT an excuse - its a justifable reason for not accepting the children into your care. if they don't want their children doing something 'just in case' then I would be politely suggesting that they take that 'impact' and let it rest upon their working lives (or however they spend the time when the children are with you)

miffy
06-12-2011, 02:49 PM
I think the parent is being unrealistic - I wonder if she is staying home all weekend with them?

It's not fair to expect your children to miss out on trips because these children might catch a cold. I understand an asthma attack can be very scary but if they are not fit to join in with your routines, outings then mum should keep them at home.

Miffy xx

AliceK
06-12-2011, 04:04 PM
My ds suffers from asthma and has attacks if he gets a cold so this time of year the worst but I would never stop him from going school ( in case he gets a cold - no diff to going playgroup apart from group occasional and school everyday ) you cannot prevent them catching colds they are all around at the moment. My point being would she stop child going school incase he gets a cold from a friend?? As long as you have inhales and what ever medication required . Know what procedure to take should an attack take place I would take them group. Obviously say to mum first . And if she says not well enough to attend groups or daily routine then not well enough to attend setting. Why should others miss out plus bet mindee feels they are missing out because mummy days no . Xx

Agree. My DD is the same but I still let her go out and go to pre-school. They have an inhaler for her and we all know what to do should she get bad. I also have a mindee the same. How on earth will this mum cope when the child goes to school :eek:

xxxx

onceinabluemoon
06-12-2011, 05:48 PM
I mind 2 brothers. Both have had quite bad colds over the last couple of weeks but are now getting better.

oldest boy is troubled with asthma when he gets a cold.

Mum is blaming me taking them to toddlers for them catching a cold and now says i'm not to take them til they are 100% better.

thats 3 weeks now that i've had to miss. she doesnt want them mixing anywhere with other kids so no toddlers, soft play, friends house etc. I'm feeling really housebound and unhappy.

I've not been sleeping well and really feel like i need to get out the house to keep me alert otherwise i just want to sit on sofa and sleep!

What would you do? Go along with the parents wishes or stick to my routine and go?

Then she needs to keep them at home with her so she can ensure they do not go out of the house and be exposed to any germs!!!

How ridiculous!

As others have said, you are a childminder not a nanny, she does not have the right to dictate to you where and how you spend your day. If the child had a severe nut allergy and you were taking him to a snickers factory that may be a bit different but to say you cannot take them to toddlers, to visit friends or anything else in case he catches a cold is plain stupidity and a tad to controlling for my liking.

Next time the children are due to come in phone mum beforehand and let her know you ARE going to toddlers, if she says she doesn't want the children to go just say 'ok well we'll see you on *next due day* then.

VINASOL
06-12-2011, 06:34 PM
My ds suffers from asthma and has attacks if he gets a cold so this time of year the worst but I would never stop him from going school ( in case he gets a cold - no diff to going playgroup apart from group occasional and school everyday ) you cannot prevent them catching colds they are all around at the moment. My point being would she stop child going school incase he gets a cold from a friend?? As long as you have inhales and what ever medication required . Know what procedure to take should an attack take place I would take them group. Obviously say to mum first . And if she says not well enough to attend groups or daily routine then not well enough to attend setting. Why should others miss out plus bet mindee feels they are missing out because mummy days no . Xx

My DD (4) has asthma, and is going through a particularly bad case of it at hte moment. She is being kept home from school, and is not allowed to participate in physical activity. So perhaps that's why mum doesn't want him going to playgroup...certainly for my DD when she gets excited her asthma can flare up.

I've kept DD off from school because it's not fair that all she is doing all day is coughing (and I do mean all day) and what would happen if she went into a full blown asthma attack?

What meds is your mindee on? Do you give him Ventolin every 2 hours when he is bad? This does help, but how is his asthma managed? Mum needs to think about this and I agree that basically if she doesn't want mindee going to groups etc untill he is well (due to asthma) then he should be at home.

Generally, when my DD has a cold her asthma is OK but she knows what she can do or can't do (or rather I do and I remind her). Perhaps it's time to sit down with mum to discuss his asthma and a plan of action.

It's a small world
06-12-2011, 08:43 PM
My DD (4) has asthma, and is going through a particularly bad case of it at hte moment. She is being kept home from school, and is not allowed to participate in physical activity. So perhaps that's why mum doesn't want him going to playgroup...certainly for my DD when she gets excited her asthma can flare up.

I've kept DD off from school because it's not fair that all she is doing all day is coughing (and I do mean all day) and what would happen if she went into a full blown asthma attack?

What meds is your mindee on? Do you give him Ventolin every 2 hours when he is bad? This does help, but how is his asthma managed? Mum needs to think about this and I agree that basically if she doesn't want mindee going to groups etc untill he is well (due to asthma) then he should be at home.

Generally, when my DD has a cold her asthma is OK but she knows what she can do or can't do (or rather I do and I remind her). Perhaps it's time to sit down with mum to discuss his asthma and a plan of action.

I can understand mum not wanting child to attend playgroup if poorly but then surely child should be at home with mum. My understanding of op was thta mum didnt want child to go to playgroup incase they catch a cold or it gets worse.
My ds has had days off school when started with a cold and seems drowsy but only becasue I know within a few hours (like3-4) it can go onto his chest and his lungs close up and his inhalers have no effect whatsoever and he needs to be taken to hospital asap. A few years ago he was unwell (before official diagnosis) and I kept him off school his condition deteriorated I called doctors who said bring him in straight away. I rushed him in by the time we got there his lips were going blue and he was rushed to hospital by ambulance and put on nebuliser etc. I made the choice to keep him off and glad I did. I now know the signs whether its just a cold or if it could develop into an attack. However I would not keep him off school or stop him from playing with friends just in case he catches a cold. (like you we keep our child at home if not happy with their well being? but cannot stop them going out in case they 'catch a cold)

My ds also suffers from severe ezcema (which we now appear to have under control) he has allergies to fabric conditioner, animal hair, grass, perfumed items, sand etc. Yet as with a cold I do not prevent him from going out and having fun in sand, rolling in the grass etc. However he knows that should he come into contact with any of these (which is most days) he has to have cream and wraps (bandage pj's) on which he is ok about as it means he can still play with his friends.... Just need hayfever and we have a hat trick :laughing:

Like you I agree a care plan needs to be discussed with mum. Cant stop playing just incase they get a cold not fair on child in question or other children.

Oh my son has to have his inhaler twice/ two times a day from august-march to help prevent an attack coming on. Plus all his creams, medicine etc for other ailments. But I never stop him participating in anything. Just prepared incase something happens xxx

Maza
06-12-2011, 09:34 PM
Poor you. I can understand the parent as DD comes down with all sorts when we've been to lots of playgroups and the last couple of winters I have somewhat limited the amount of playgroups we visit. I wouldn't dream of asking someone else to deprive their own kids of playgroups etc. I think you need to have a chat with mum.

Bluebell
06-12-2011, 10:08 PM
poor you - I can see you have tried to do the right thing and I think if a child was a bit tired and under the weather then a quiet day at home is not unreasonable BUT this has been going on for weeks!!!
to change your routine affecting you and you children (and other children if you had had more) is an unreasonable request! I realise I am repeating what everyone else is saying but if they are that poorly they should be at home with mum - if its taken this long to clear especially.
my son has asthma and I still get very worried when he catches a cold. However he has built his immune system up so that he is better able to cope with a cold and I wouldn't say he was 'growing out of it' like some people say children can do but he definitely seems stronger as he gets older, more immune to everything that goes round and obviously having had a few scares and emergency trips to hospital we are much better at managing it and upping meds when needed to prevent it getting that bad again.
I wish you the very best of luck and hope you get this sorted x