View Full Version : Please advise...

28-11-2011, 11:35 AM
I have a 2 1/2 yar old mindee, he is very quiet and shy. He used to cry when he came to me, but after a few says he was fine. I have been looking after him for 3 months now and I am noticing he is becoming increasingly scared of things and says no to things alot (not like a NO! more of an upset quiet nooo)

He cried the other day because of a street cleaner, then because the wind was blowing, then because he saw a dust bin man. All things that have never seemed to bother him before. I spoke to mum on Friday night and today she said he had been the same all weekend, saying no and even being scared of the big swimming pool. (again never scared before) I have no idea what has sparked this or if it is anything like a delayed seperation thing. I have no clue. I am constantly having to reasure him. He used to always say "mummy come back soon" then slowly stopped... however he is saying a lot again. He is getting to the point that things we used to do like visit other minders and their kids, going to the park, shopping school drop off cause him to be scared. He has even pinched and marked my legs and arms where he grabs hold of me. I hate seeing him like this, it absolutely pulls me apart and the worst thing is I dont know what is causing it or why.

His mum works 5 days a week since Aug and his dad works away in the week, sometimes home the odd day in the week. HIs sister who is 15 months is fine always happy, smiley (unless teething)

28-11-2011, 11:43 AM
My daughter who is two and a half has suddenly decided that she is scared of old people, people wearing glasses, men with beards ... the wind used to be a problem but she has gotten over that now, the Waitrose Sign. My son is scared of mobile phones and clocks that have faces on them - like eyes, noses, mouth etc .. actually any inanimate object that has a face terrifies him. My daughter also spent a few interesting days when she decided to be afraid of the colour yellow but now it is her favourite colour. I think it's entirely normal. I just say to her, or any other children I care for, 'Alright, I hear that you're scared. I'm here with you and will look after you'. The phase generally passes.

28-11-2011, 12:24 PM
I think the key here is NOT to feed the fear. Reassure but be a bit blase about it all - cheerfully and firm and carry on.
I would ask mum if she can think of ANY triggers - has anyone spooked him even in the teeniest way. See if mum is ok with the reassure but firm approach and get her to work with you.

The Juggler
28-11-2011, 01:23 PM
agree with Pip. I've had a few children like this and I generally keep talking through the crying 'oh look, it's the dustbin man, look what he's doing etc. etc.....' it does usually pass.