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DaisyLil
25-11-2011, 05:19 PM
I've been minding child 3-4 days per week either as a school drop off or pick up since September, during the last half term LO had a soiling incident when we were out during a outing. Luckily we were getting ready to go home so it wasn't too much of an issue apart from the fact even though I smelt it LO refused to admit it. Mum had not supplied change of clothes so LO ended up in some from my too-small box.

When child was collected Dad didn't seem surprised and just ushered child out of door. I spoke with Mum the following day at drop off and she explained it has happened on the odd occassion so I ask to ensure LO had a change of undergarments just in case.

Anyhow 3 times this week we have had the same issue, Monday when I collected from school and they had to completely change clothes because it had been wiped down clothes. Mum said it was probably medicine he was on for his cough and cold. Yesterday, it was done in the car on the way home from school, child refused to sit on toilet to finish. Mum was collecting within 15 mins so I let it go and just removed soiled underpants. However today it happened again - this time sat at table eating snacks. Again child refused to admit they needed bathroom and it was only on insisting I should check that it was admitted.

When I spoke to mum her reaction was to confront child (softly) on why it was happening again!!! I asked if she had taken LO to doctors in case of tummy bug her answer was "oh this is not unusual. When XX was a baby laxitives were given for the opposite problem. XX has always had bowel problems". I advised she supply a change of undergarments at least that I could keep.

I have just checked my records and as I suspected nothing has been written on medical records or points of interest.

I'm feeling like I have been deceived and now wonder if there are any other problems they haven't disclosed or how severe this issue may be. Child has a lovely easy going nature which is what makes it hard to feel upset at the moment.

I've obviously taken child aside and spoken quietly about letting me know if an accident has happened but child just looks so sad that I don't know what else I can do. Child has admitted s/he doesn't know when s/he needs to go it just happens.

sarah707
25-11-2011, 05:44 PM
A lot of children suffer from similar problems - some really don't know what they have done because their muscles don't work properly, some have a medical condition which makes them leak fluid, some were never toilet trained properly, some get it after eating too much roughage and others are lazy and have got into bad habits.

it's really important they are treated very gently whatever the cause as I am sure you are doing.

Parents really must get medical help for the child though. It's neglect otherwise.

Hugs xx

EmmaReed84
25-11-2011, 05:49 PM
My son used to have exactly the same problem... Funnily enough as I was reading this my son say "Mum, I didn't know I was going til it was too late, but I have actually just done a little poo in my pants. I didn't know I had done til I felt it"

When it used to happen we eventually took him to the docs thinking he had diarrhea and was told he was constipated and was so blacked up that new poo kind of seeps through and comes out, often with the child not realising, he too was given laxatives and it sorted the issue. We keep a close eye on his diet and make sure he has a very balanced diet and so far it has been ok, just the odd time every few months.

rosebud
25-11-2011, 06:05 PM
My son used to have exactly the same problem... Funnily enough as I was reading this my son say "Mum, I didn't know I was going til it was too late, but I have actually just done a little poo in my pants. I didn't know I had done til I felt it"

When it used to happen we eventually took him to the docs thinking he had diarrhea and was told he was constipated and was so blacked up that new poo kind of seeps through and comes out, often with the child not realising, he too was given laxatives and it sorted the issue. We keep a close eye on his diet and make sure he has a very balanced diet and so far it has been ok, just the odd time every few months.

My friends daughter was exactly the same (age 7). The doctor said she was "blocked up" and the muscles weren't working in the way they should so it used to "leak" out. She was prescribed laxatives and the doctor talked to mum about her diet and she's fine now. She used to take a bag with spare knickers in to school and the teachers were very discreet about it. None of her friends even knew what was happening.

breezy
25-11-2011, 06:16 PM
My son used to have exactly the same problem... Funnily enough as I was reading this my son say "Mum, I didn't know I was going til it was too late, but I have actually just done a little poo in my pants. I didn't know I had done til I felt it"

When it used to happen we eventually took him to the docs thinking he had diarrhea and was told he was constipated and was so blacked up that new poo kind of seeps through and comes out, often with the child not realising, he too was given laxatives and it sorted the issue. We keep a close eye on his diet and make sure he has a very balanced diet and so far it has been ok, just the odd time every few months.

little one I looked after had exactly the same problem, never knew it was happening either and never told me as he was so embarassed.

samb
25-11-2011, 08:56 PM
and my dd... she had it from just turned 2 yrs to just over 5 years - she is 6 now and I do have a stock of medication just in case but hopefully it's all over. It is mortifying for them. And horrible for us as there's not much we can do other than be calm - which believe me when you have to cope with it for 3 years plus it sometimes can make you slightly less than calm! I wouldn't start worrying about if mum has been with holding information as such. If it really is a long term issue she may just have not thought of it as something that is an issue but just normal if you see what I mean? Just ask if you can meet up to have a chat about how to deal with it - if he is on medication/seen the doctor/how school and home deal with it/how he deals with it/if there's anything else she might like to mention while you talking about issues? Good luck.