View Full Version : Is This Normal?!?!?

17-05-2008, 12:01 PM
Hiya everyone. I did a thread the other day about k (2 year old) falling down the stairs at his house.Well the helth visitor went to there house yesterday for a cheack up on his speech.She seen his face & asked how he did it & his parents tould her & she said she needs to investigate & that social service might need to get in touch with them & she also took my number. His parents are really upset as they dont want the children taken from them :(. I just wanted to know if this is normal for them to do this?

17-05-2008, 12:47 PM
Oh gosh! I have no idea if that's normal or not. Seems a bit like overkill to me but maybe I don't know all the facts.

Surely if they had hurt the child intentionally they would have cancelled the HV appointment until the face had healed?

Sorry, I don't know. Poor parents though, I'd be devastated.

17-05-2008, 12:49 PM
It could be that the HV is just taking precautions or had a concern with the explanations etc. I suppose it is "normal" practice if there is a concern, which this HV appears to have.

Understandably the parents are now perhaps frightened and worried. I would get all your documenation ready -just in case. Reassure the parents - they have done nothing wrong, the HV is just doing her professional duty and perhaps wasn't satisfied for whatever reason with explanations.

Not sure what else to say really. Did the parents get the child checked by a GP, doctor?

I know I got questioned by a locum doctor about 1yr after my son broke his ankle. I had made an appointment for my son for a sore throat or similar and took him to the docs, the locum had obviously been reading his notes and started questioning me (something A&E or anyone else hadn't done!) and said the circumstancs surrounding the accident sounded suspicious and did not ring right. I answered her questions but got quite cross when she said about me lying how it happened. I left the room and went to make a complaint to the practice manager!

Hoping its all ok and that the HV is being a bit over-zealous/protective.

17-05-2008, 01:29 PM
My now 12 year old tripped up the stairs (sanded wooden stairs) when he was 2.5 and hit about 7 stairs on the way down! He ended up with a black eye and some pretty hefty bruising on his face. My neighbour reported me to SS (she knew it was an accident but did it anyway) and when they came round I was advised that he should have seen a doctor (either the GP or at A&E) as with a black eye comes the risk of fracturing the eye socket and of course a brain injury.

I took him to the GP the next day and of course he was fine but she told me the same thing - I should have had him seen by a medic to rule out any facial fractures and brain injury. It wasn't a case that they thought it was a deliberate injury, just the fact that I could have missed a serious injury.

17-05-2008, 02:44 PM
My DD fell down the stairs when she 1.5 yrs - she slipped down a few went bump bump down a few and tumbled down the last few - i was behind her as we went up but she slipped and shot through my legs so quick i grabbed her jumper but her arm came out of it - i took her straight to my local hospital to check her out - she had bumped her nose and had a slight bleed from it. when we got there they were so great - all saying accidents happen and how their own children had fallen etc .. but as it was deemed as falling from more than 5ft - although not straight down - as a precaution she needed to be seen by a peadiatric dr at A&E - we did she was fine - but it always goes through my mind whenever we are there - which has been a few times..... what will they think of us.

casey's mum
17-05-2008, 04:08 PM
I used to be a social workers assistant. Please reassure the parents not to worry, despite what people think, in my experience, unless there is very good reason, SS won't rip a child from their families!
Maybe the HV is CHA (covering her a**e) or maybe she a newbie jobs worth, lol.

Angela xx

17-05-2008, 04:33 PM
Gosh this is such a serious matter too how sad it must be for the parents i would be so down

When my son was 4 months or so he was learning to sit up and he fell on his face i tried to catch him but wasnt fast enough i took him to doctors and he was more interested in how why where and it made me feel so bad and unfit mother i dont take him if he has a bang as im terrified....

He chipped a tooth and its still chipped now..

I hope it all works out for your mindees parents

17-05-2008, 07:15 PM
I can't add much except to say I feel so sorry for the parents. Accidents happen for goodness sake!

I hope this is all resolved quickly for everyone concerned xx

17-05-2008, 07:18 PM
Have nothing to add but didn't want to read and run

I feel sorry for the parents too and hope it's all sorted out quickly

miffy xx

Wendy Woo
17-05-2008, 08:19 PM
im the same got nothing to add but just wanted so send u happy vibes to hopes that this gets sorted soon. Cant be easy for parents or u

17-05-2008, 08:23 PM
When Harry was little I squirted him in the eye with Karvol. :blush: We attended A + E and after we were seen the Dr told me that they would send a letter to my GP telling them what happened.

When I took Hannah to A+E last week we were told the same thing as she was so young, (she fell and they though she had broken her wrist :eek:)

I think it has something to do with protecting the kids from abuse.As far as I am aware it is fairly standard practise, and I have come across it many times before, so she must be working on similar guidlines ??

Whether it works in practise I don't know, but I'm sure all will be well.

17-05-2008, 08:24 PM
my son fell down the stairs when he was little. he seemed fine and i didn't take him to the hospital.

did you make a note in your accident/incident book about coming to your setting with an injury?

just thought that you might have needed to have make a note of it if you are contacted

17-05-2008, 08:42 PM
Thanks everyone. I hope it all works out for us all. When he did it his parents didnt take him to A&E or to the docs. Yes chubbymummy i did put it in my accident book & his dad signed it.

17-05-2008, 08:45 PM
I have a feeling that if a child is taken to A&E with a fairly serious injury (lets face it falling down the stairs is potetially very serious) then i think it it normal practice for the HV to vivst the family afterwards. If she has concerns , however small , then she has an obligation to report it to s/s and is obviously keeping the parents informed of this. Really this is a good thing cos if they were trying to cover something up (and i'm not saying they are at all but think of other cases:panic: ) then this is how things get discovered. That saud it must be avery worrying time for the parents , but hopefully it will all be sorted , hope they can manage not to worry too much . Also stressful for you , have you got it recorded that the child came to you with an injury and the parents explanation for it ? that might be something s/s want to see , if it gets that far. Hope LO is getting better . Good luck to you all :)

17-05-2008, 08:49 PM
Just read the bit about them not taking him to A&E......maybe thats why the HV had concerns ?? But why did she turn up ? was it random or did someone call her ? anyway hope it turns out for the best :)

17-05-2008, 08:56 PM
The HV went to see them about k speech

17-05-2008, 11:45 PM
Something very similar happened to me a couple of years ago.

My son (now aged 7) told someone at school his dad had thrown him down the stairs. The school reported it to social services and social services called me on my mobile to tell me to take my son to hospital immediately for a check-up. It was quite ironic as I WAS ALREADY at the hospital due to my son's bowel condition! I literally had to walk down a corridor and I was there!!

It was a harrowing ordeal. My son was stripped off to his vest and pants and given a thorough examination. He was questioned, with me present, but I wasn't allowed to speak. Not once would my son admit his dad pushed him and to this day maintains he didn't tell anyone at school he did. I was present in the house at the time it was supposed to have occurred and can categorically state that nothing of the sort happened! My son's dad would NEVER EVER do anything to harm him. It was purely a case of peer pressure and bravado in front of his school mates that started the whole thing off.

The social worker was an awful woman and I told her as much! She was eventually disciplined over her attitude and treatment towards us, when my family made an official complaint.

My partner (my son's dad) wasn't allowed back into the home until cleared to do so by the police. He had to stay at my mum's house. It was ****** awful, especially when he was totally innocent.

The police didn't take it any further (well, they couldn't 'cos it didn't happen) and social services decided not to take the matter further (ditto). My partner was totally vindicated.

I can't tell you how awful an ordeal it was though. When social services called me on my mobile out of the blue, I was so distressed I couldn't speak. My son's community nurse (who we were at the hospital seeing due to his bowel condition) had to speak to them instead. Seeing your child being striped and inspected for signs of abuse is something I'll never ever forget.

If the parents haven't harmed the child then they'll be vindicated too but the process you go through once social services get involved is harrowing. The distress it caused my mum did a lot of damage too.

My local church minister also wrote a glowing character reference to social services stating what upstanding citizens / pillars of the community we are :D

I know social services have a difficult job to do but they went about it as if we were axe murderers. I have little respect for them after that.

How ironic I did my Safeguarding Children course last Saturday....if only they knew.

18-05-2008, 06:05 AM
Oh Bubbly just read your reply - what a dreadful time you must have had, i think you are very brave to share such a story with us. thank you.

x helen

18-05-2008, 06:21 AM
I'm so sorry you had such a harrowing experience - sounds like it was guilty until (grudgingly) proven innocent to me.

Oh course we all want children to be safe but surely that doesn't mean treating all families in this way.

It must have taken some courage to share that story with us - hope you are OK

miffy xx

18-05-2008, 06:31 AM
Bubbly - that is an awful story. How terrible for your son. I cant say anymore.:mad:

casey's mum
18-05-2008, 07:41 AM
OMG, Bubbly that must have been absolutely the worst time! I totally feel for you!

Am glad to here she was disciplined over this, sounds like her conduct was disgraceful!

Thank goodness the truth prevailed and your partner cleared!

Big hugs to you as this must have been painful for you to share
:group hug:

Angela xx

18-05-2008, 09:19 AM
It certainly isn't an event I'm proud of & when I began the registration process it was always at the back of my mind if it would be held against me. I didn't see how it could be but it didn't stop me worrying.

The social worker was an overbearing, insensitive :censored:. She told me she'd call with the outcome of her investigation but in the end couldn't be arsed. I tried tracking her down but she didn't return my calls so I went above her head to her superior & made a formal, written complaint. How can someone put you through THAT & not even have the decency to call you!

Anyway, I kept the written letter from social services totally vindicating us. It would have been something to show Ofsted should there have been a problem.

18-05-2008, 10:03 AM
OMG Bubbly - that must have been hell on earth for your son and all of you.

Like you say I know SS have a job to do and school (rightly) followed through BUT for someone to behave in this fashion (the social worker) is appalling. No wonder social workers get such a bad rep.

Thank goodness the outcome was the right one.

18-05-2008, 12:20 PM
What an awful time you went through bubbly. I hope it dosnt come to that for the parents.

18-05-2008, 12:45 PM
The stupid thing about it all was that my son has been under the care of the same hospital consultant SINCE BIRTH due to his medical condition.

You'd have thought that would've been enough to vindicate us immediately! You'd expect a bloomin' consultant to have spotted signs of abuse during the 5 years of my son's life, should there have been any (which there wasn't).

My son's consultant got involved on our behalf and told social services they were barking up the wrong tree.

I hope the parents this thread is about are vindicated at the earliest opportunity. Yes, SS have a responsibilty to investigate and protect our children but they have no right whatsoever to treat innocent people like a piece of sh*te on the bottom of their shoe. That's where my main criticism rests - you should be treated with respect and are innocent until PROVEN otherwise.

I wish the parents courage and the best of luck.