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helendee
24-11-2011, 10:29 AM
Just wondering if any of you let your mindees do the above?

Personally I always make them wait until we have paid for the items but I am well aware that my views are often considered to be old fashioned these days. :laughing:

jayjay1963
24-11-2011, 10:34 AM
I agree with you, in my mind it's theft and a definite NO! I never let my own do it and wouldn't allow it from mindees. It may be old fashioned but it's honest!

Jacqui

helendee
24-11-2011, 10:36 AM
Thanks for your reply Jacqui

I am only 47 but often made to feel like a moaning old bat because I was brought up with very strong principles of right and wrong.

xx:laughing:

kellib
24-11-2011, 10:44 AM
I used to let my son do it, anything to keep him quiet in the shop, it's not theft as I always paid for things he ate!

helendee
24-11-2011, 10:45 AM
Thanks for your reply Kelli x

chez
24-11-2011, 10:46 AM
Im only 28 and definatly not, no child in our care is ever going to starve because they didnt get their snack before paying for it.

I really dislike seeing children tuck into items before they are paid for

The Juggler
24-11-2011, 10:46 AM
i depends, if it was out of a large packet with the barcode on or the top of a baguette or a breadstick from a pack, then yes, if they are individual items (i.e. a single banana) or pack of sweets then no, as it can't be weighed anymore or correctly priced.

RainbowMum
24-11-2011, 10:46 AM
I will give a box of raisins from a multipack, more so with my own children when they were little and i was doing a big shop - I would bring some from home when I had some. I would never give something that could not then be paid for at checkout - eg grapes by weight. Its not theft until you leave the shop without paying so I have no problem with it as long as the eaten item can be paid for.

kellib
24-11-2011, 10:51 AM
i depends, if it was out of a large packet with the barcode on or the top of a baguette or a breadstick from a pack, then yes, if they are individual items (i.e. a single banana) or pack of sweets then no, as it can't be weighed anymore or correctly priced.

Yeah that's how I always did it with my son, he wasn't allowed to eat individual grapes for example but he was allowed to eat a packet of apple slices as they could be scanned still.

I wouldn't let mindees do it as I don't know what their parents allow in that situation.

singingcactus
24-11-2011, 10:51 AM
No. It's just rude. There's no need for it. Another part of our modern 'get what we want the second we want it' culture. Won't kill a kid, or adult, to wait 5 minutes to pay for something. Wouldn't kill an adult to tell child to stop screaming or they won't get it at all either!

miffy
24-11-2011, 12:07 PM
No. It's just rude. There's no need for it. Another part of our modern 'get what we want the second we want it' culture. Won't kill a kid, or adult, to wait 5 minutes to pay for something. Wouldn't kill an adult to tell child to stop screaming or they won't get it at all either!

You made me laugh, but I agree with you!

I must be a right tartar 'cos I don't even let the kids touch anything (unless we are buying it) let alone eat it!

Miffy xx

FussyElmo
24-11-2011, 12:17 PM
No I dont. Never let my children do it wont let a mindee do it neither.

Never saw the need for it personally :thumbsup:

rickysmiths
24-11-2011, 12:22 PM
No. It's just rude. There's no need for it. Another part of our modern 'get what we want the second we want it' culture. Won't kill a kid, or adult, to wait 5 minutes to pay for something. Wouldn't kill an adult to tell child to stop screaming or they won't get it at all either!

I agree absolutely! We would and a lot more children would be a lot better off if this happened as well.

What about all the snacks eaten and not paid for, well we are all paying aren't we. All the open empty packets you see as you go around. It is a very selfish instant gratification, attitude.

I teach all my mindees that it is stealing to eat something before you have paid for it.

Wasn't there a case recently where a mum was pulled up in a supermarket for letting her child eat a banana?

mama2three
24-11-2011, 12:26 PM
You made me laugh, but I agree with you!

I must be a right tartar 'cos I don't even let the kids touch anything (unless we are buying it) let alone eat it!

Miffy xx

im the same , ''we look with our eyes not our fingers'' is a favourite phrase! My own boys and now my mindees are never allowed to touch things in shops ( unless they are helping count apples into a bag or passing something we are buying of course)

Nature'sKids!
24-11-2011, 01:28 PM
i depends, if it was out of a large packet with the barcode on or the top of a baguette or a breadstick from a pack, then yes, if they are individual items (i.e. a single banana) or pack of sweets then no, as it can't be weighed anymore or correctly priced.

Yes, I do the same.
There's a choice: have your lo crying and you not "giving in" for the sake of rules your lo (I'm talking pre verbal toddlers here) won't understand and your lo ending up being so upset or angry that it starts to get to that point of embarrassment... Or give them an organic bar, smoothie, banana, box of raisins etc out of a multipack to keep everyone happy and to be able to shop in peace! The people at checkout have never commented - unless it was to offer to bin the empty wrapping. It's not theft, it's paid for.
When bf and / or pregnant I always get thirsty and sometimes my bottle of water is empty before I get home - if this is the case and I am seriously in need of a drink I will open the bottle before getting to the tills if I'm doing a big shop. It's either that or impending headaches and dizziness.

Nature'sKids!
24-11-2011, 01:32 PM
I need to add I don't only do it not to be embarrassed but because I don't think it's right to upset a child bc of your views that aren't even law or rules and that staff aren't bothered about.

stardust
24-11-2011, 01:42 PM
Yes, I do the same.
There's a choice: have your lo crying and you not "giving in" for the sake of rules your lo (I'm talking pre verbal toddlers here) won't understand and your lo ending up being so upset or angry that it starts to get to that point of embarrassment... Or give them an organic bar, smoothie, banana, box of raisins etc out of a multipack to keep everyone happy and to be able to shop in peace! The people at checkout have never commented - unless it was to offer to bin the empty wrapping. It's not theft, it's paid for.
When bf and / or pregnant I always get thirsty and sometimes my bottle of water is empty before I get home - if this is the case and I am seriously in need of a drink I will open the bottle before getting to the tills if I'm doing a big shop. It's either that or impending headaches and dizziness.

If you told them no from the off then they wouldn't be screaming.
If they know screaming will make you put it back most children will actually be well behaved or you could always take the approch of including them in your shopping like asking them to look out for stuff.

It may not be stealing but it is NOT yours until you have paid. I bet you wouldn't like it if one of your mindee's happily helped themselves to the contence of the cupboard and mum's reply was ' oh he must have been hungry, never mind its not like I haven't paid for it'. And you wouldn't just ask mum to pay for it you would probably tell the child off. It is pretty much like taking and asking after in a round a bout way. I think its rude and show a blatant lack of respect or manners.

Chatterbox Childcare
24-11-2011, 01:54 PM
I have done it with my children and I have done it with childminded children. If we are shopping and it is getting close to lunch time I will give them a packet of crisps from a multi pack. I always pay for my goods so no theft

If the children were having fruit for their snack and it is my fault we are in the supermarket then I would weigh and pay for it and then they would eat it whilst I am shopping.

Shopping with children takes me ages (nearly 3 hours once) because we are looking and touching various foods (usually the fresh foods and fruit isles as there is so much there and it changes all the time) so sometimes we do hit snack/meal times that were not planned.

I wouldn't advocate being in a shop and a child screaming for chocolate - that would be a definate no no

karen m
24-11-2011, 01:56 PM
Have to say i would never allow anything to be eaten or touch,another pet hate people who stand and read papers,magazines then put them back,i am truly a moaning minnie but principles are principles

Playmate
24-11-2011, 02:01 PM
Never did it with my own and cetertainly wouldn't do it with a mindee. Any way my mindees are to busy finding things when we are shopping (the odd occaision I take them) to worry about eating :laughing: I would always make sure they have eaten and drunk before we went and preferably not when when they are tired :D

Katiekoo
24-11-2011, 02:05 PM
I do generally get my dd to wait but if she's hungry we either eat at the supermarket cafe first, quickly pay for something she can eat or I bring something from home for her to eat on the way round. As a parent and cm it really isn't that hard to plan meals and snack to avoid this happening. If she asks to open/eat something (only happened once or twice) we say "no because that would be (all join in) STEALING!" She has joined in with this saying since she was about 2 yrs old.

FizzWizz
24-11-2011, 02:06 PM
Always allow my DS / DD an apple from a multi pack when I do the shopping - makes my shop so much quicker and far less stressful for me. I never let them have anything that can't be paid for and never anything unhealthy. At the end of the day shopping is boring for them and it suits us both.

As for mindees - I have never been in that situation but prob wouldn't as it goes back to parents wishes etc

JCrakers
24-11-2011, 02:21 PM
Nope wouldnt do it and I agree if you tell the child 'No' from the start there wouldnt be any screaming

If you start giving the child snacks from the shelves and then don't one day thats when the sreaming will begin as they wont understand why you have just changed your mind on that day.

I took my two kids shopping in the trolley seat and they were happy as Larry. Not starving or screaming for food. And when we had paid for it we could then maybe have something on the way to the car but they didnt NEED anything.
I didnt see the need to feed them to keep them happy....maybe a book or toy from home would keep them amused but not food :D

PixiePetal
24-11-2011, 02:34 PM
I did with my own children - only as others said from a barcoded item and as I paid before leaving it was not theft.

They never got into a paddy if I said no and wait till we get out, sometimes I was just being nice and they got the end off the baguette. I carry 'emergency rations'! but even those run out of we are out all day. Being a village bus user can mean a 2 hour wait for a bus if we miss one.

I have also had the odd bottle of water on my way round to take nurofen when headache was thumping and felt migraine starting. Paid of course.

I did feel a bit bad putting a mag back on the shelf after skimming through - this was a Christmas food shop with an hour and a quarter in the queue to pay :o they should have laid on entertainment!

I am never in a shop that long with mindees so snacks are in my bag anyway

chez
24-11-2011, 02:38 PM
the thing that would worry me is getting to the til and for some reason my card not going through and not being able to pay for the goods - never happened but could.

PixiePetal
24-11-2011, 02:42 PM
the thing that would worry me is getting to the til and for some reason my card not going through and not being able to pay for the goods - never happened but could.

I would always have enough cash for what they ate and the rest would have to go back!

uf353432
24-11-2011, 02:43 PM
I don't do large shopping trips with mindee's end of - we pop in the shop and get stuff for an activity or snack etc. but its an outing that lasts less than 20 mins so its fab and exiting - so there has never ever been a need to feed a child from the shelf. I've never done it with my children and so they have never asked. Don't have any particular views about it being particularly good or bad - and if, for example, I had a child who had diabetes and needed sugar NOW and I was in a shop I would almost certainly feed before buying. But unless a child has a medical complaint or I have been rubbish and not provided a snack - no a child can wait until the appropriate time - which is when we get home - because they are not eating in my car either!! lol!

Louise317
24-11-2011, 02:58 PM
I have with my own if a shopping trip took longer then first thought and only from multi packs not loose stuff. I haven't took mindees on a big shop and usually plan my shop visits so after snacks. But if mine are doing it just because they want it then no they can wait. Like when we buy treats after school, mine have to wait till we out of the store.

The Juggler
24-11-2011, 03:16 PM
Nope wouldnt do it and I agree if you tell the child 'No' from the start there wouldnt be any screaming

If you start giving the child snacks from the shelves and then don't one day thats when the sreaming will begin as they wont understand why you have just changed your mind on that day.

I took my two kids shopping in the trolley seat and they were happy as Larry. Not starving or screaming for food. And when we had paid for it we could then maybe have something on the way to the car but they didnt NEED anything.
I didnt see the need to feed them to keep them happy....maybe a book or toy from home would keep them amused but not food :D

mine were never screaming for anything in particular or because they were hungry but they were bored quite often when very little. It wasn't a case of feeding them beforehand or dealing with an 'I want it tantrum' it just kept them busy. I tried books but they often got dropped on the floor and talkign was fine but I was distracted in looking for the good deals and they would be wanting my full attention. i don't allow my children this now they are older but the odd bit of bread or a banana if they were really out of sorts when they were really little kept them happy.:)

Cammie Doodle
24-11-2011, 03:20 PM
No sorry!!! In our opinion (June & Carolyn) the things are not yours until you have paid for them, so IT IS stealing!!!! Not a good example to set the children!!! If they can't wait until you have finished shopping either give them something before you go into the shop or pay for something for them to eat and then go back in and finish the shopping!!!!!!!!

rickysmiths
24-11-2011, 03:43 PM
If you told them no from the off then they wouldn't be screaming.
If they know screaming will make you put it back most children will actually be well behaved or you could always take the approch of including them in your shopping like asking them to look out for stuff.

It may not be stealing but it is NOT yours until you have paid. I bet you wouldn't like it if one of your mindee's happily helped themselves to the contence of the cupboard and mum's reply was ' oh he must have been hungry, never mind its not like I haven't paid for it'. And you wouldn't just ask mum to pay for it you would probably tell the child off. It is pretty much like taking and asking after in a round a bout way. I think its rude and show a blatant lack of respect or manners.



Well I was beginning to think I was one of the few!

I think it is totally unnecessary to feed a child as you go around a supermarket. What is wrong with the world and where has healthy eating and not eating between meals gone no wonder children are growing up with no self control if we bribe them to be good in this way????

I have never had a screaming child while in the supermarket, in fact usually people come up and comment how good the children are being and how they are enjoying themselves.

I have never felt the need to feed either mine or anyone else's child as we walk around. I was taught it was bad manners to eat while you are walking around. Many shops have signs up asking you not to eat in them.

Also whatever way you look at it the food is not yours until you have paid for it so what message is being given to the children? Don't worry you pick up what you want and eat it or use it as long as you intend to pay for it?

Call me old fashioned if you like but this is a big big no no for me as well.

solly
24-11-2011, 03:56 PM
I never have done with my own kids and never will with them or mindees. I fully agree with others and it really annoys me when people do.

I don't ever do my big shop with mindees I have it delivered at a suitable time, but will take them to the local shop for the odd item that we need.

If I did have to take them then I would certainly plan it that they would not be tired and not be hungry so there would be no tantrums. If they did have a tantrum over something they wanted then i would just ignore it and get on with my shopping, i certainly don't reward this sort of behaviour. And I really couldn't care what other shoppers thought if I had a toddler having tantrum and I certainly wouldn't give in just to keep the child quiet so i could get on and do my shopping

Nature'sKids!
24-11-2011, 04:01 PM
If you told them no from the off then they wouldn't be screaming.
If they know screaming will make you put it back most children will actually be well behaved or you could always take the approch of including them in your shopping like asking them to look out for stuff.

It may not be stealing but it is NOT yours until you have paid. I bet you wouldn't like it if one of your mindee's happily helped themselves to the contence of the cupboard and mum's reply was ' oh he must have been hungry, never mind its not like I haven't paid for it'. And you wouldn't just ask mum to pay for it you would probably tell the child off. It is pretty much like taking and asking after in a round a bout way. I think its rude and show a blatant lack of respect or manners.

I'm not into threatening children to "make" them "do as they're told". They are always included in the shopping too. Comparing a mindees mum raking through your cupboards is a totally different thing too as its a personal space whereas supermarkets are public.

tinkerbelle
24-11-2011, 04:22 PM
i have done it from multi packs iv also done it with a carton of ready made baby milk as my sons bottle leaked all over my bag and he was ready for a feed
i would also do it again if needed i always pay for the items and in my sons case id rather open a carton of prepared baby milk than have him hungry

suzyblue
24-11-2011, 05:24 PM
No! No! No! Its not mine till Ive paid for it!!!!

curlycathy
24-11-2011, 05:48 PM
When I was pregnant I nearly fainted in a supermarket and felt so embarrassed when the kind assistant insisted along with dh that I must drink something - had some bottles of fruit juice in trolley that she made me open. I was so scared I would forget to pay that as soon as we got to the checkout I insisted it was scanned and kept checking it had been:laughing:

But that is the only time. In my view its not mine til I've paid for it. Never allowed mindees to have anything and never allowed my own to have anything before I've paid for it. Don't care if they tantrum.

It doesnt do them any harm to wait a few minutes. We cant always have what we want when we want it - and it is wants not needs.

Am thinking there may be a correlation with the current debt crisis here....!!!

jayjay1963
24-11-2011, 05:49 PM
Thanks for your reply Jacqui

I am only 47 but often made to feel like a moaning old bat because I was brought up with very strong principles of right and wrong.

xx:laughing:

I'm 48 so we can be moaning old bats together LOL

Jacqui

cupcake22
24-11-2011, 06:35 PM
I'm 48 so we can be moaning old bats together LOL

Jacqui

I am 51 & I have joined your 'moaning old bats together club lol.

I never gave my own children stuff while we were out shopping & certainly wouldn't the minded ones either. I known the parents do but as I have never started it the little ones never ask.

Cupcake22

rickysmiths
24-11-2011, 06:36 PM
I'm not into threatening children to "make" them "do as they're told". They are always included in the shopping too. Comparing a mindees mum raking through your cupboards is a totally different thing too as its a personal space whereas supermarkets are public.


So because you are in a Public Space you can just help yourself to goods that are not yours? But at home in your space you would feel bad about a mum helping herself to a biscuit or banana eating it and then offering to pay for it afterwards?

I don't see any difference in the behaviour to be honest. Both are rude and I think children should be taught that there is a time and place for things. Munching their way around a supermarket because the want to or it stops bad behaviour or they are hungry is not one of them in my books. They are not going to starve if they have to wait until they get home before they eat are they?

rickysmiths
24-11-2011, 06:38 PM
I am 51 & I have joined your 'moaning old bats together club lol.

I never gave my own children stuff while we were out shopping & certainly wouldn't the minded ones either. I known the parents do but as I have never started it the little ones never ask.

Cupcake22

I am 56 and also one of the 'moaning old bats together club!' :laughing: :laughing:

I agree with you 100% Cupcake.

rickysmiths
24-11-2011, 06:40 PM
]When I was pregnant I nearly fainted in a supermarket and felt so embarrassed when the kind assistant insisted along with dh that I must drink something - had some bottles of fruit juice in trolley that she made me open. I was so scared I would forget to pay that as soon as we got to the checkout I insisted it was scanned and kept checking it had been:laughing: [/COLOR]

But that is the only time. In my view its not mine til I've paid for it. Never allowed mindees to have anything and never allowed my own to have anything before I've paid for it. Don't care if they tantrum.

It doesnt do them any harm to wait a few minutes. We cant always have what we want when we want it - and it is wants not needs.

Am thinking there may be a correlation with the current debt crisis here....!!!

I think that's counted as medicinal and First aid. Very different to grazing children and adults.

babs
24-11-2011, 07:09 PM
dont agree with giving children food before been paid for it teaches them nothing only they can have what they want even if not paid for reminds me of pick n mix in woolies use to see kids helping themsleves... ive never done it with my son or mindees only thing my son use to have whille shopping with a car 49p back then now £1.29 each he use to have one each week and hold it till we got to tills then hand over money even from a young age... i admit ive had to open bottle of water recently went shopping at last night started choking couldn't stop and hubby took pk 4 water off shelf opened it give me a bottle so endded up paying for 4 bottles water i didnt want ...

Chimps Childminding
24-11-2011, 07:11 PM
I am 56 and also one of the 'moaning old bats together club!' :laughing: :laughing:

I agree with you 100% Cupcake.

June and I are 52 and 49 respectively so can we join the 'moaning old bats' club too please?

It is something that REALLY infuriates me!!! So its ok to let children think they can help themselves to food off the shelves because they are hungry. Whats wrong with feeding them first or making them wait a few minutes :angry:

In my opinion if you haven't paid for it you shouldn't eat/drink it. Its all very well saying well if its a multi pack you still pay for the whole pack, but the point is you haven't paid for it and until you do its not yours!!!!!!

I saw a man in Tesco's the other week stuffing a pasty in his mouth as quickly as he possibly could and then put the packet in his pocket, had absolutely no intention of paying for it :eek: (but thats another topic) :rolleyes:

Splodge
24-11-2011, 08:05 PM
I am 48 and would like to join the moaning old bats club too please.

I have never given my children or the mindees food when going around a supermarket and i never will. They have never complained and most have never asked. Those that have asked, i have explained they will get something wen we leave the supermarket or when we get home. I also don't allow eating or drinking in the car.

When we go to the supermarket it is to give the children experience, it is not to do my weekly shop and part of the experience is to teach the children how to behave to make the experience good for all of us, not just those who make the most noise.

If you haven't paid for it, then it is theft, even if you are going to pay for it at the till. You don't own it until you have paid for it and supermarkets don't like it and don't find it acceptable. I have a friend who works in a supermarket who says she doesn't get paid enough to talk to people who have eaten in the shop or who have allowed their children to eat in the shop who then turn around and say we were going to pay for it. She says i would be amazed at how many people forget. My friend has worked in a supermarket all her adult life and says that people never used to do this.

Dragonfly
24-11-2011, 08:07 PM
Have to agree with everything rickysmiths has said :thumbsup:

mushpea
24-11-2011, 09:45 PM
well I'm backing the moaning ol bats although I am only 35:D
I never let my kids minded or own eat round the shops,, they choose snacks and are told that they can have them when we have paid and are out of the shop.
if children are bored when shopping then help get them involved in the shop not encourage them to eat through bordem.

T0ffee
24-11-2011, 10:31 PM
I also must say don't agree with feeding children in a supermarket, snacking or otherwise. It is stealing and not a good example to set-if children are bored they should be taken to the park or do something they enjoy:rolleyes:

By telling a child 'no' or 'we need to pay before you take something ' is not threatening a child but teaching them values. Children need guidelines and teaching children boundaries actually prepares them for everyday life. Kids do not make the rules but 'learnt behaviour' encourages children to do whatever they want!!!!!!!:thumbsup:

watgem
25-11-2011, 08:00 AM
No. I'm 47 and was bought up to pay for things first. I always have packets of raisons etc in my bag which the children can have if they are hungry to munch on round the shops. If for example, you buy pay by weight items and you give the children some to eat on the way round, then you will not be paying the correct amount for those items

Nature'sKids!
25-11-2011, 10:57 AM
No. I'm 47 and was bought up to pay for things first. I always have packets of raisons etc in my bag which the children can have if they are hungry to munch on round the shops. If for example, you buy pay by weight items and you give the children some to eat on the way round, then you will not be paying the correct amount for those items

Lol - thats the problem, we go shopping because weve run out of packets of raisins etc. Or they've eaten them already as we've been out all day!
Also, everyone who has said they do allow it always make sure they don't give items that need to be weighed, but always make sure it's got a bar code, like from multipacks (such as, for us, organix cereal bars - boxes of 6, bags or boxed raisins, box of 4 smoothies etc)
And like I said earlier, at checkout they offer to bin the empty wrapping! Really no problem at all lol!

(however, I wouldn't do it so much in certain areas where I know shoplifting is a problem, simply bc I don't want there to be a misunderstanding. I'm these occasions kids are happy to wait, as they understand there are exceptions to the rule. In our local tecsos they all know me and my kids anyway :)

crazyXstitcher
25-11-2011, 11:27 AM
I'll join the old moaners club too.

Can't believe people are trying to justify themselves.

I assume all the minders who think this is acceptable aren't the ones that moan when their mindees parents pay them late. After all, it's ok because they're going to pay you in the end anyway.

helendee
25-11-2011, 11:55 AM
WOW

So many replies, thanks to everyone.

If you all fancy a laugh go over to Netmums, I posted a similar thread on there about this subject, under the coffeehouse forum, entitiled 'I can't believe...'.

You will not believe what a slating I have received, fifteen pages of vitriol, lol. Much nicer people over here who can put their points of view without resorting to playground bullying. LOL. :clapping:

solly
25-11-2011, 12:48 PM
Helendee you definately caused a stir and can't believe it's still going on, I read about 10 pages of it before I got fed up.

I fully agree with you, and also think shops should actually put a stop to it

Pipsqueak
25-11-2011, 01:18 PM
WOW

So many replies, thanks to everyone.

If you all fancy a laugh go over to Netmums, I posted a similar thread on there about this subject, under the coffeehouse forum, entitiled 'I can't believe...'.

You will not believe what a slating I have received, fifteen pages of vitriol, lol. Much nicer people over here who can put their points of view without resorting to playground bullying. LOL. :clapping:

you are surprised??? the bile outpouring over on netmums.... they are entertainment if nothing else:D

Splodge
25-11-2011, 01:25 PM
I agree, i read half a dozen pages before i had to give up.

A lot of them were complaining that people should be minding their own business. The answer to that is i have taught my children and my mindees to wait until we have paid and left the shop, and for them to see other children doing something that they have always been told is wrong completely undermines everything they have been learning. So they are having an effect on other people by their actions.

helendee
25-11-2011, 01:34 PM
you are surprised??? the bile outpouring over on netmums.... they are entertainment if nothing else:D

LOl Don't think they realise how funny they are. :laughing:

The Juggler
25-11-2011, 01:55 PM
I'll join the old moaners club too.

Can't believe people are trying to justify themselves.

I assume all the minders who think this is acceptable aren't the ones that moan when their mindees parents pay them late. After all, it's ok because they're going to pay you in the end anyway.

I think that is unfair. not paying for a service received a day, week or month late is not the same as not paying at the end of the shopping trip i.e. before you leave the premises where goods were received. a parent who takes their child home knowing the debt is unpaid is slightly different. I've never done it with mindees only my own two and only when they were very little.

Gracie's mamma
25-11-2011, 02:27 PM
no no no no no no and no:panic:

Funny how i see it when i have to go to Asda :panic: but never when i go to Waitrose :laughing:

helendee
25-11-2011, 03:20 PM
no no no no no no and no:panic:

Funny how i see it when i have to go to Asda :panic: but never when i go to Waitrose :laughing:


Lol I can't imagine what you mean! :D

tinkerbelle
25-11-2011, 05:05 PM
I think that is unfair. not paying for a service received a day, week or month late is not the same as not paying at the end of the shopping trip i.e. before you leave the premises where goods were received. a parent who takes their child home knowing the debt is unpaid is slightly different. I've never done it with mindees only my own two and only when they were very little.

i certainly wasnt trying to justify myself if my son is hungry ill feed him if it means using the milk before iv paid for it he still isnt one yet and does not understand wait for food and i will do the same for my 12 day old daughter if needed

peanuts
25-11-2011, 05:30 PM
no way, if my kids were desperate for the item i would go through the checkouts and get a receipt, its much easier now that they have self serve tills now.

Chimps Childminding
25-11-2011, 06:42 PM
i certainly wasnt trying to justify myself if my son is hungry ill feed him if it means using the milk before iv paid for it he still isnt one yet and does not understand wait for food and i will do the same for my 12 day old daughter if needed

But why not take milk with you if you know he/she might need a feed whilst out :rolleyes:


Copy & pasted from Nature's kids -
(however, I wouldn't do it so much in certain areas where I know shoplifting is a problem, simply bc I don't want there to be a misunderstanding. I'm these occasions kids are happy to wait, as they understand there are exceptions to the rule. In our local tecsos they all know me and my kids anyway If the kids are happy to wait on occasions why can't they wait every time :rolleyes:

Sorry I'll get off my soap box, but it is something I really get annoyed about :angry:

rickysmiths
25-11-2011, 09:31 PM
Lol - thats the problem, we go shopping because weve run out of packets of raisins etc. Or they've eaten them already as we've been out all day!
Also, everyone who has said they do allow it always make sure they don't give items that need to be weighed, but always make sure it's got a bar code, like from multipacks (such as, for us, organix cereal bars - boxes of 6, bags or boxed raisins, box of 4 smoothies etc)
And like I said earlier, at checkout they offer to bin the empty wrapping! Really no problem at all lol!

(however, I wouldn't do it so much in certain areas where I know shoplifting is a problem, simply bc I don't want there to be a misunderstanding. I'm these occasions kids are happy to wait, as they understand there are exceptions to the rule. In our local tecsos they all know me and my kids anyway :)


Sorry but double standards or what? If they can wait in one situation they can wait in another surely? One day you'll go into Tesco and they may have a new not so understanding Manager :rolleyes:

EmmaReed84
25-11-2011, 09:43 PM
I have done it before when shopping. My LO was suffering badly with teething and needed some relief he was so upset. I pick up some teething gel and used it. Also if I am doing a shop and my kids are thirsty. I suffer terribly with thirst and always need a drink.

It is not theft until you leave the store. You can actually legally sit and munch your way through the crisp isle and not be stopped, as long as when you leave you pay for it all.

If I have ever had to give a child something for whatever reason I ALWAYS make sure I make a point of saying "put this at the top of the basket, we have to still pay for it." and I ALWAYS put it on first and tell the check out lady that I have opened it and they are always fine with it.

I dont give in to my kids if they are just having a temper trantrum, makes me say no even more, not give them something.

stardust
25-11-2011, 10:22 PM
I'm not into threatening children to "make" them "do as they're told". They are always included in the shopping too. Comparing a mindees mum raking through your cupboards is a totally different thing too as its a personal space whereas supermarkets are public.

:rolleyes: if you had read my post properly you would have seen that i said your mindee raiding your cupboards and mindee's mum not giving a monkeys.
how is it different? the fact is and always be that the food is not yours until it is paid for.

:mad: As for threatening children I do feel you have exaggerated. I don't threaten them I simply refuse to reward unwanted behavior.
On all of my trips shops with mindees I have never had any of the children screaming for food. Simply because I do not allow them to get to the stage where they are that hungry the feel they have to scream for it.
I only shop for ingredients or resources as it encourages a knowledge of how things work for example paying for things before they are used.

Also you may see it that I 'threaten' my children to behave well as they are so well behaved but it clearly works.:thumbsup: Maybe you should try it if yours scream?

However I feel feeding the children to behave is worse than telling them something will go back on the shelf after all you are installing into the children the routine of 'i'm not happy so I will eat and that will make me happy'. This encourages comfort eating, bad habits and can encourage an unhealthy diet in later years.

I wonder what parents views are on this because I would flip if my son kicked off for food whilst shopping and i got 'xxxxx gives me something from her shopping' I would actually remove my son as in my eyes you would be telling him it is okay to steal. I prefer my child was shown how be patient and respect what does not belong to them regardless of whether they intended to pay for it.

Also what happens if you have given the children something to eat and something happens? A child chokes and ends up needing immediate hospital assistance? what do you do then leave the shop without paying? then you would be a thief. or do you pay for the items before seeking medical attention? which would then make you negligent. :(
Hows that for 'food' for thought.

If you always feed them could you not take food from home?


Thank you to rickysmiths and t0ffee for defending the views of a child threatening adult simply because I refuse to reward unwanted behaviour and agree with discipline and encouraging good manners and respect. :thumbsup:

RainbowMum
25-11-2011, 10:46 PM
Funny how i see it when i have to go to Asda :panic: but never when i go to Waitrose :laughing:

Perhaps because the average family can't afford to shop in Waitrose :(

As I've already said, I dont have a problem with it for my own children, I only take mindees for task specific shopping, never a big shop - and in fact now mine are older I can't remember the last time they had something - it was when they were very small and only on rare occassions.

However, what bothers me is the judgemental attitude, that I am a bad parent because my opinion differs to those who don't allow it. I don't give a hoot how you parent but don't label me because I have a different way!

If the supermarket were bothered they could very easily discourage it, a sign to say it is not allowed for example.

Live and let live I say :p

rickysmiths
25-11-2011, 11:04 PM
:rolleyes: if you had read my post properly you would have seen that i said your mindee raiding your cupboards and mindee's mum not giving a monkeys.
how is it different? the fact is and always be that the food is not yours until it is paid for.

:mad: As for threatening children I do feel you have exaggerated. I don't threaten them I simply refuse to reward unwanted behavior.
On all of my trips shops with mindees I have never had any of the children screaming for food. Simply because I do not allow them to get to the stage where they are that hungry the feel they have to scream for it.
I only shop for ingredients or resources as it encourages a knowledge of how things work for example paying for things before they are used.

Also you may see it that I 'threaten' my children to behave well as they are so well behaved but it clearly works.:thumbsup: Maybe you should try it if yours scream?

However I feel feeding the children to behave is worse than telling them something will go back on the shelf after all you are installing into the children the routine of 'i'm not happy so I will eat and that will make me happy'. This encourages comfort eating, bad habits and can encourage an unhealthy diet in later years.

I wonder what parents views are on this because I would flip if my son kicked off for food whilst shopping and i got 'xxxxx gives me something from her shopping' I would actually remove my son as in my eyes you would be telling him it is okay to steal. I prefer my child was shown how be patient and respect what does not belong to them regardless of whether they intended to pay for it.

Also what happens if you have given the children something to eat and something happens? A child chokes and ends up needing immediate hospital assistance? what do you do then leave the shop without paying? then you would be a thief. or do you pay for the items before seeking medical attention? which would then make you negligent. :(
Hows that for 'food' for thought.

If you always feed them could you not take food from home?


Thank you to rickysmiths and t0ffee for defending the views of a child threatening adult simply because I refuse to reward unwanted behaviour and agree with discipline and encouraging good manners and respect. :thumbsup:

Good thought. I wonder if she risk assesses eating on the move? oh and has her First Aid Kit to hand? :rolleyes:

I do find it interesting that so many children are apparently sooo hungry in between meal all the time. It is not a problem I have ever had. In fact every time I go to the supermarket with mindees I have people coming up and talking to me and the children complimenting them on their very good behaviour. :blush:

Just had a wicked though! Next time I'm in Tesco I'll borrow a cardi when I'm chilly. Oh I must stop, slap hand!!:laughing:

stardust
25-11-2011, 11:34 PM
Good thought. I wonder if she risk assesses eating on the move? oh and has her First Aid Kit to hand? :rolleyes:
I do find it interesting that so many children are apparently sooo hungry in between meal all the time. It is not a problem I have ever had. In fact every time I go to the supermarket with mindees I have people coming up and talking to me and the children complimenting them on their very good behaviour. :blush:

Just had a wicked though! Next time I'm in Tesco I'll borrow a cardi when I'm chilly. Oh I must stop, slap hand!!:laughing:

:laughing: I have breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner and my mindees never ask for food in between unless we are doing an activity and i let the lick their own spoon or the left over bits if they are edible (don't need cooking ect)

Being i am a completely different generation from you (im 21) i dont think its about age and being an old bat so to speak but how we think and regard our community, values and what we deem to be acceptable.
It annoys me that people can be so irresponsible fine if you want to do it with your children the fine but for pete's sake not with other people's children show a bit of professionalism i know they want home from home care but parents at least expect their childminders to be a good influence.
The thing is how you are with your children and how you are with mindees should be completely different (in regards to doing as you please). For example if you let your children watch tv all day, eat sweats and make exceptions such as eating in a supermarket then fine that's how you wish to parent then fine.
With mindees its completely different as they are someone else's children and you have duty of care to up hold the parents wishes, ensure the children's standard of care and well being are at a professional level. I personally don't think you can say it is either professional or good practice to allow children to eat food that hasn't been paid for, fine it could be a multi pack but what about the fact they haven't washed their hands. The amount of germs on things in a supermarket are extraordinary for example how can you be sure that the previous child who sat (less than 2 mins ago) in the trolley didn't dribble all over the bar and have tb? you just cant be too careful. And you can not wash the fruit if its apples from a multi pack. What about chokeing or a child is given something its allergic to (you can all of a sudden become allergic to things or be allergic to variations in food- I cared for a little girl who was fine with green grapes but was allergic to red grapes.) What about people walking past coughing and sneezing near the food?

Fine I will admit I analyze far too much but at least I consider everything so the chances of me being caught short are low.

Still even if she had a first aid kit, if a child choked and stopped breathing an ambulance would need to be called as CPR to bring them back to life is more common with drowning victims so she would just be keeping the oxygen going round the body to minimize brain damage. So then does she pay for the item or put the child first.

In this situation the shop would let it slide for the sake of the child but it would still be stealing as she left the shop without paying.

She would also have the fun task of explaining to Ofsted why the child was eating in the shop.
If the child could not be resuscitated she would indeed be found negligent and would loose her registration as there is actually no need for the child to be eating whilst in a shop. Her duty of care is to ensure the child has appropriate meals whether she provides or parents provides them so in a case like that there would be no need for the child to be eating in between meals and they would ask why she has not set aside appropriate time for the children to sit down and have their lunch.

Touch wood it wouldn't happen but it does only take a split second, a jerky movement, the child laughing ect.

Playmate
26-11-2011, 08:03 AM
:laughing: I have breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner and my mindees never ask for food in between unless we are doing an activity and i let the lick their own spoon or the left over bits if they are edible (don't need cooking ect)

Being i am a completely different generation from you (im 21) i dont think its about age and being an old bat so to speak but how we think and regard our community, values and what we deem to be acceptable.
It annoys me that people can be so irresponsible fine if you want to do it with your children the fine but for pete's sake not with other people's children show a bit of professionalism i know they want home from home care but parents at least expect their childminders to be a good influence.
The thing is how you are with your children and how you are with mindees should be completely different (in regards to doing as you please). For example if you let your children watch tv all day, eat sweats and make exceptions such as eating in a supermarket then fine that's how you wish to parent then fine.
With mindees its completely different as they are someone else's children and you have duty of care to up hold the parents wishes, ensure the children's standard of care and well being are at a professional level. I personally don't think you can say it is either professional or good practice to allow children to eat food that hasn't been paid for, fine it could be a multi pack but what about the fact they haven't washed their hands. The amount of germs on things in a supermarket are extraordinary for example how can you be sure that the previous child who sat (less than 2 mins ago) in the trolley didn't dribble all over the bar and have tb? you just cant be too careful. And you can not wash the fruit if its apples from a multi pack. What about chokeing or a child is given something its allergic to (you can all of a sudden become allergic to things or be allergic to variations in food- I cared for a little girl who was fine with green grapes but was allergic to red grapes.) What about people walking past coughing and sneezing near the food?

Fine I will admit I analyze far too much but at least I consider everything so the chances of me being caught short are low.

Still even if she had a first aid kit, if a child choked and stopped breathing an ambulance would need to be called as CPR to bring them back to life is more common with drowning victims so she would just be keeping the oxygen going round the body to minimize brain damage. So then does she pay for the item or put the child first.

In this situation the shop would let it slide for the sake of the child but it would still be stealing as she left the shop without paying.

She would also have the fun task of explaining to Ofsted why the child was eating in the shop.
If the child could not be resuscitated she would indeed be found negligent and would loose her registration as there is actually no need for the child to be eating whilst in a shop. Her duty of care is to ensure the child has appropriate meals whether she provides or parents provides them so in a case like that there would be no need for the child to be eating in between meals and they would ask why she has not set aside appropriate time for the children to sit down and have their lunch.

Touch wood it wouldn't happen but it does only take a split second, a jerky movement, the child laughing ect.

Very sensible non judgmental advice :thumbsup:

curlycathy
26-11-2011, 08:24 AM
Rickysmiths - I have just choked on my tea at the thought of going into tesco and wearing a cardi round the shop!!!! Am actually starting to think, given some of the justifications on here, that its not a bad idea when going down those chiller aisles:laughing:

(if anyone sees any mad women cackling round tescos in cardis you'll know who it is now!!!!)

And I'm 39. So I agree - I don't think its a generational thing.

JulieA
26-11-2011, 08:38 AM
I've just come into this debate and missed all the good bits.

Anyway, in my opinion No, No, and definately No. For several reasons:

1) for the same reason I don't allow eating in my car - risk of choking.
2) wouldn't do a full shop with mindees anyway, so wouldn't anticipate a long shop. However I do always have drinks and snacks in my bag (packed alongside my changing bag) - they may just be biscuits or raisins, but are on hand if needed.
3) shopping trip would be timed to fit between normal meal times Or a visit to the supermarket cafe - either before or after shopping
4) not wanting to instill the behaviour that if you want it now you can have it. Today a cereal bar, tomorrow a toy, and the day after the latest i-phone!

Stealing issue aside (yes I think it is stealing - it does not belong to you until purchased) I think it is inconsiderate, bad manners and disrespectful.

RainbowMum
26-11-2011, 08:44 AM
Just because I allowed MY small, non-verbal toddler a packet of raisins whilst doing a big family shop does not make me a bad parent. I have never allowed a minded child to do this but then I have never taken a minded child on a big family shop!

With regard to chocking - would it then be ok if child was eating something that parent/minder had brought with them? Do you NEVER eat away from home - picnic, beach etc? A child sitting quietly in a trolley eating a box of raisins is at no more risk than a child sitting eating any where else! In the event of a medical emergency whether it be a pregnant woman taking a swig from a bottle of water of the shelf and then passing out, or a child chocking - I would return later to pay.

With regard to not being able to pay once you got to checkout - I have on more than one occaision put a trolley load of shopping through a checkout, only to find I had left my purse at home (yes I am a ditz:rolleyes: ) The shop has a code to put in till which checks it out without paying - the shopping is held at customer services (they offer to put chilled/frozen in cold store) and I rush of red faced to get my purse:blush:

My children are 6 and 9 now, they certainly would not be allowed to eat something not paid for, I am also often complemented on their behaviour and manners, I have never had to 'lay down the law' I have taught by example and explanation.

I'll say AGAIN - Do not judge me a bad parent just because my opinion and principles are not the same as yours! :angry:

kellib
26-11-2011, 09:20 AM
Just because I allowed MY small, non-verbal toddler a packet of raisins whilst doing a big family shop does not make me a bad parent. I have never allowed a minded child to do this but then I have never taken a minded child on a big family shop!

With regard to chocking - would it then be ok if child was eating something that parent/minder had brought with them? Do you NEVER eat away from home - picnic, beach etc? A child sitting quietly in a trolley eating a box of raisins is at no more risk than a child sitting eating any where else! In the event of a medical emergency whether it be a pregnant woman taking a swig from a bottle of water of the shelf and then passing out, or a child chocking - I would return later to pay.

With regard to not being able to pay once you got to checkout - I have on more than one occaision put a trolley load of shopping through a checkout, only to find I had left my purse at home (yes I am a ditz:rolleyes: ) The shop has a code to put in till which checks it out without paying - the shopping is held at customer services (they offer to put chilled/frozen in cold store) and I rush of red faced to get my purse:blush:

My children are 6 and 9 now, they certainly would not be allowed to eat something not paid for, I am also often complemented on their behaviour and manners, I have never had to 'lay down the law' I have taught by example and explanation.

I'll say AGAIN - Do not judge me a bad parent just because my opinion and principles are not the same as yours! :angry:

Couldn't agree more, certain people on here moan about the nastiness on netmums but then come on here and judge us as parents :rolleyes:

crazyXstitcher
26-11-2011, 09:30 AM
i certainly wasnt trying to justify myself if my son is hungry ill feed him if it means using the milk before iv paid for it he still isnt one yet and does not understand wait for food and i will do the same for my 12 day old daughter if needed

Yes you are.

Feed him before you go or take something with you that you've already paid for. It's not hard.

Nature'sKids!
26-11-2011, 09:55 AM
Btw... I'm not minding (yet) and do this with my own children, not with mindees. So "she" doesn't have to worry about ofsted or negligence... Seriously lol

Also, when it takes you 2 hours to get to the shop and back snack time is always during the time we're out. Never mind that on some days kids are more hungry than on others - growth spurts anyone?
And the whole choking thing - so now you're saying that it is totally irresponsible to feed your child anything at any time away from a table? Even if the raisins are your own? Or is it just a case of "if he'd choke you'd have to leave without paying" well... I'm sure nobody would care a hoot about money if a person needed immediate medical attention.

And ... You're talking about netmums being nasty and judgemental... Well THIS is judgmental.
Everyone has different opinions, and that's fine. As long as those opinions are respected(!!!) the store I shop at doesn't mind. That's all that matters.

RainbowMum
26-11-2011, 10:00 AM
Yes you are.

Feed him before you go or take something with you that you've already paid for. It's not hard.

Its statements like this that totally get my back up - iIne you have your opinion and I applaud you for your high morals but dont be so rude and judgemental :angry:

IF you had read the orgional post from Tinkerbelle - she said that her sons bottle had leaked out in her bag - therefor had gone prepared but circumstances changed!

I can see from this thread that I am in a minority group - and I am not saying I am right in my opinion - but it is my way of doing it and it does not affect you in the slightest. You don't like it so you don't do it - thats great - stop judging me and my way - or get a job as a store dectective and come tell me off to my face!

keeks
26-11-2011, 12:16 PM
Just wondering if any of you let your mindees do the above?

Personally I always make them wait until we have paid for the items but I am well aware that my views are often considered to be old fashioned these days. :laughing:

Oh dear, such and innocent questions seems to have stirred a lot of feelings!

I confess I haven't read all the posts, so reply is really only for the question above.

It would never occur to me to do so. I wonder if it is a cultural thing, being that I grew up in Sweden? I have sometimes seen people do this and the first time I was really shocked! How old fashioned am I??? :laughing: :laughing:

xx

stardust
26-11-2011, 01:32 PM
Btw... I'm not minding (yet) and do this with my own children, not with mindees. So "she" doesn't have to worry about ofsted or negligence... Seriously lol

Also, when it takes you 2 hours to get to the shop and back snack time is always during the time we're out. Never mind that on some days kids are more hungry than on others - growth spurts anyone?
And the whole choking thing - so now you're saying that it is totally irresponsible to feed your child anything at any time away from a table? Even if the raisins are your own? Or is it just a case of "if he'd choke you'd have to leave without paying" well... I'm sure nobody would care a hoot about money if a person needed immediate medical attention.

And ... You're talking about netmums being nasty and judgemental... Well THIS is judgmental.
Everyone has different opinions, and that's fine. As long as those opinions are respected(!!!) the store I shop at doesn't mind. That's all that matters.

No i am not saying that a child should be sat at a table every time they eat. When it is a planned meal such as lunch ect then you have set aside a reasonable amount of attention and supervision, whilst shopping you cannot do this so it will take you a longer time to respond.

My issue is not with you doing it with your children but with mindees which would have become clear to you if you had read my posts properly.

As for being like net mums the phrase pot- kettle black comes to mind. I gave my view just as you did and they are completely different.
To be honest as you accused me of 'threatening' my children because i said i would tell them that something would go back on the shelves is a complete over exaggeration and a very dramatic statement on your part. It could have come straight from net mums to be quite frank.
As you are not yet minding maybe you should take a couple of the posts posted into consideration such as just because you do it with your children doesn't mean you should do it with your mindee's and if you do feel the need to do so think about all the risks involved. Maybe at your pre-reg inspection you can run this past ofsted and see what your inspectors views are on you giving minded children food from a shop that hadn't been paid for prior to eating. They will most probably highlight the risks that I have.

Also I would like to add I AM NOT JUDGING anyone who gives their own children un-paid for food but those that do it with mindee's as it is unprofessional and a minder with a good routine and practice would not need to.

Nature'sKids!
26-11-2011, 01:56 PM
Nobody has said they do it with mindees unless I missed that, and I think that everyone agrees not to do it with mindees unless there is a real need. (in which case it would be an exception to the rule, not double standards...)
And if a child eating in a seat in the trolley right in front of me would start choking I would notice immediately as he would only be a few inches away from me so there wouldn't be a delay in reaction at all. In fact I'd be there quicker than having to try and get round the table and climb over the bench to unstrap a child from the booster seat in the kitchen diner lol.
I do also feel that saying "do this or this will happen" is a threat (as in behave, stop whining or I'll put it back on the shelf an you won't be having it. Basically, you're not allowed to express your feelings / needs and to make you comply I'm going to threaten you with the consequence of not having what you want right now at all bc I can do so) of course it "works" it's emotional blackmail.

Nature'sKids!
26-11-2011, 01:58 PM
Anyway I'm bowing out of this now as I realise my above statement will not be understood by the majority. If anyone is interested as to why I feel that way id recommend reading "Thetrouble with A's, praise and gold stars - punished by rewards" and "unconditional parenting"

stardust
26-11-2011, 07:27 PM
Nobody has said they do it with mindees unless I missed that, and I think that everyone agrees not to do it with mindees unless there is a real need. (in which case it would be an exception to the rule, not double standards...)
And if a child eating in a seat in the trolley right in front of me would start choking I would notice immediately as he would only be a few inches away from me so there wouldn't be a delay in reaction at all. In fact I'd be there quicker than having to try and get round the table and climb over the bench to unstrap a child from the booster seat in the kitchen diner lol.
I do also feel that saying "do this or this will happen" is a threat (as in behave, stop whining or I'll put it back on the shelf an you won't be having it. Basically, you're not allowed to express your feelings / needs and to make you comply I'm going to threaten you with the consequence of not having what you want right now at all bc I can do so) of course it "works" it's emotional blackmail.

Of course they can express their feelings and wants but everyone has to learn they cant always have what they want when they want. You see it as emotional black mail but i see it as teaching my child an understanding of how the world works.

You are intitaled to your views and its not your views I have an issue with its the way you express them and I am not the only person that you've have annoyed with your comments not just on this thread but countless others.

As for being able to get to mindee faster if they are in the trolley..... if you are concentrating on what you are buying and not on the child then you'll hardly notice it in a nano-second and the shopping trolley seats are hardly the easiest to get children out of in a hurry.

Starfish007
26-11-2011, 09:03 PM
Lots of strong views regarding the post! Until I read this post I would never of thought of giving my children or mindees food from the shelves. I know all of the children well enough to be able to plan our outings so that all their needs are met, whether this is a trip to a playgroup, park or supermarket.

I think if the mindees are so hungry that they need to eat food off the shelves whilst on a shopping trip maybe a bit more planning and thought should go into your day.

pinky33
26-11-2011, 09:39 PM
So I'm guessing if your ok with eating from a shop and paying for it after.... Then it's ok for parents to take childcare then pay after.

In future think about your own actions if your ever in the position to come on here and say a parent hasn't paid in advance of care!
This taking stuff before it's paid for occurs in many forms in life and I wonder what forum Mr/Mrs Supermarket owner goes on to moan about people consuming goods without paying?

pinky33
26-11-2011, 09:46 PM
I'll join the old moaners club too.

Can't believe people are trying to justify themselves.

I assume all the minders who think this is acceptable aren't the ones that moan when their mindees parents pay them late. After all, it's ok because they're going to pay you in the end anyway.

Oops I should have read your message first!!
Omg I'm stealing your thoughts:panic:

pinky33
26-11-2011, 09:54 PM
Ok another query from me!
So if it's ok to feed our babes and kiddies baby milk, snacks, juice ect. Which is all stuff in my mind you should have on you anyway, what happens if said little person fills it's nappy and you don't have any on you?

Do we open a pack of nappies, wipes, and settle down for a nappy change?
Where does it start and end? Where's the fine line?

I'm also slightly tipsy tonight so I might be over thinking this. I'm allowed to be though I have no kids here :)

kellib
26-11-2011, 10:06 PM
Who has actually said they do this with their mindees?

pinky33
26-11-2011, 10:18 PM
I wasn't saying anyone has done this! I'm just curious as to how and when do we come to the conclusion we have over stepped a line.

stardust
26-11-2011, 10:31 PM
Who has actually said they do this with their mindees?

The original posting was

Helendee
'Just wondering if any of you let your mindees do the above?
Personally I always make them wait until we have paid for the items but I am well aware that my views are often considered to be old fashioned these days. '

DebbieS26
'I have done it with my children and I have done it with childminded children.'
Page 2

And loads of people have commented and not stated that they dont do it with mindee's so as the original posting says would you let you mindee's then by answering yes ................................... but not stating that it is their child or mindee's then it is safe to assume its probibly both.

littleelm
27-11-2011, 11:05 AM
I worked in a supermarket until very recently. So to whoever said 'supermarkets don't mind' actually, they really do! It is disgusting behaviour! And the checkout staff were only offering to bin your wrapper for you so it didn't end up on the floor!

stardust
27-11-2011, 08:31 PM
I worked in a supermarket until very recently. So to whoever said 'supermarkets don't mind' actually, they really do! It is disgusting behaviour! And the checkout staff were only offering to bin your wrapper for you so it didn't end up on the floor!

Could really do with a 'LIKE' button! So I can like this comment.

EmmaReed84
28-11-2011, 10:22 AM
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It is not illegal to eat whilst in a shop BEFORE paying for it, as long as you do. It is a matter of opinion. Perhaps we should just accept the fact that peoples views and opinions are different and respect it.

crazyXstitcher
28-11-2011, 10:55 AM
Its statements like this that totally get my back up - iIne you have your opinion and I applaud you for your high morals but dont be so rude and judgemental :angry:

IF you had read the orgional post from Tinkerbelle - she said that her sons bottle had leaked out in her bag - therefor had gone prepared but circumstances changed!

Ok. Apologies to Tinkerbelle. I was answering her last post and missed/forgot the previous bit about going prepared but having a leaking bottle. However there's no reason she couldn't have paid for the formula first.





I can see from this thread that I am in a minority group - and I am not saying I am right in my opinion - but it is my way of doing it and it does not affect you in the slightest. You don't like it so you don't do it - thats great - stop judging me and my way - or get a job as a store dectective and come tell me off to my face!

But in another post you say this,


My children are 6 and 9 now, they certainly would not be allowed to eat something not paid for
so clearly to some degree you know it's not morally right. Not having a go, just suprised that you so strongly defend your right to do it your way, yet still teach your children not to do it.

crazyXstitcher
28-11-2011, 10:57 AM
pinky33 - get out of my head!!!!:D

RainbowMum
28-11-2011, 11:25 AM
Ok, I kind of agree, my personal feelongs are - if you are old enough to understand then I do not think it is right to help yourself from the shelf unless there is a desperate need - however I see no harm in allowing a small child an item from a multipack before I get to check out. I don't think it's a big deal and the OP was asking if you do it yourself, not what your opinion of those who do it are.

Reading my last comments back - they sound very Narky - I apologise - I'm not an aggressive person, but I did feel the attitude of those who don't do it was very judgemental and condemning the whole character of a person because of a difference of opinions/morals

Helen79
28-11-2011, 01:31 PM
I have done it once but only when ds was tiny and we'd had to pop to the shop unexpectedly and he was genuinely really hungry. I think we'd forgotton to buy something so gone into the shop , realised that ds had had a poo, changed his nappy, gone to get what we'd needed, queues were huge and he was screaming with hunger and was too young to understand that he had to wait another 15mins in the queue so he could eat.

I woulnd't do it now he's older and understands that he needs to wait. I think I've had 1 occasion when mindee was screaming in the shop for a snack but they waited til it was paid for.

little chickee
29-11-2011, 02:57 PM
I have given my own kids and mindees things off the shelf whilst shopping. If my son tells me hes thirsty when im shopping and i have ages to go before i'll be finished i will give him a bottle of juice off the shelf.

When we get to the checkout first thing he does is hand over the empty bottle to be scanned. He knows he must pay for it.

i would 100% do the same with a mindee. It is NOT stealing if you pay at the end.
It is not the same as not paying your childcare fees. I eat or drink something and pay before i leave - it is so not the same.

And yes i would take a pack of nappies off the shelf use one and then pay at the end of my shopping.

Is it any different than eating a meal in a cafe or restaurant that you dont pay for until you leave? I think not!

Lady Haha
29-11-2011, 06:46 PM
Wow! A couple of things! I'm 42 and my mum used to do this for me when I was little, only the sweet wrapper etc wasn't scanned, but price tapped into the till. So it isn't old fashioned to think it's 'stealing'. I'm shocked as I didn't realise that I was the lowest of the low (and so was my mum obv). I have done this in the past with my son, given him a drink as we were going round and had it scanned at the end. I never thought anything of it. Of course it's not stealing and I find it really offensive that people are saying that. It's only stealing if you leave the shop without paying. You cannot compare it to us not being paid on time! But you could compare it to a restaurant where you eat first and pay later!

And I have worked as a check out op before becoming a minder and never thought it was 'disgusting' when a mum handed me an empty wrapper to scan!

Lastly, it's not about rewarding unwanted behaviour either. Whats wrong with letting your child have a drink if you are on a big hour long shop? So, would it be more acceptable to go and pay for the drink first then carry on with your shop after? That would look even more dodgy, going through the checkout and NOT handing over the empty wrapper/bottle to be scanned!

Some of you have really shocked me today!

stardust
29-11-2011, 07:03 PM
At no point is anyone saying they are the lowest of the low. Just that they feel it is stealing.
Me going on about unwanted behavior has nothing to do with the original post it was aimed at a posted who said because i said i would put things back for unwanted behavior that i 'threatened' my children.

Also my issue is not doing it with your own children but your mindees and the fact it is a hazard.

And no it can not be compared to eating in a restraunt as it is how they want it done, eaten first and paid later if they didn't they would ask you to pay first and eat second like other restraunts.

little chickee
29-11-2011, 07:38 PM
[QUOTE=tara_louise1990;1017644]
Also my issue is not doing it with your own children but your mindees and the fact it is a hazard.

QUOTE]

This i have an issue with. Why would it be ok to do it with your own kids but not mindees. I have real problems with the whole " I let my kids do things that arent safe but not the mindees" attitude.

I childmind like i parent - if something is ok and safe for my kids to do its ok for mindees.

Jiorjiina
29-11-2011, 08:51 PM
I have read most of this thread (slow evening on the telly!), and it's interesting to see how quickly people start taking other peoples opinions to heart.

Personally, I do not like the idea at all, but then I can't tell what I would do in a real dire emergency (although I really hope I would have planned for that!).

On the other hand, if your kids/mindees are that thirsty/starving when you go shopping, wouldn't you just stop in the cafe first? Or like someone else said, just buy something quickly, and then do the rest of your shopping?

stardust
29-11-2011, 09:01 PM
[QUOTE=tara_louise1990;1017644]
Also my issue is not doing it with your own children but your mindees and the fact it is a hazard.

QUOTE]

This i have an issue with. Why would it be ok to do it with your own kids but not mindees. I have real problems with the whole " I let my kids do things that arent safe but not the mindees" attitude.

I childmind like i parent - if something is ok and safe for my kids to do its ok for mindees.

Simply because if the parent doesn't do it or feels strongly about it like half the people on this thread then the child begins kicking off because the cm does it, it starts off a problem for the parents.
Also the choking hazard, if you want to take the risk with your children then fine but you shouldn't with mindees. All it takes for for the child to laugh, sneeze, someone to bump the trolley whilst you are browsing the packaging or are otherwise distracted and then it can become a serious incident.

I DO NOT do it with neither my child nor my mindees. Because its not safe and I do treat them the same, let them do the same things. I don't have the I let my child do it but not mindees attitude am just saying that in a situation like this it should only be done when you have no mindee's present not give to your child and not your mindee's.
Also your practice should be adaptable so you should be doing things differently for different children. you cant treat a 2 year old like a 5 month old and vice versa.

MAWI
29-11-2011, 09:11 PM
I don't take grocery shopping, problem solved. I occasionally go to the local shop for fruit / snacks but that's it and it's only a five minute walk, so not long enough to start tantrums. And anyway, they would just be told NO.

With my own kids, it was always not until we paid, If they scream, they scream. They soon learnt to behave at shopping and would get the treat at the end and not while we were shopping. I spent 20 minutes on one particular shopping trip with my then 3 year old lying in the floor, screaming and receiving so many stares!! and offers of help from staff to move her...NO. Needless to say she gave in before I did, she behaved after that!!

uf353432
29-11-2011, 09:33 PM
I think I might be going mad - I mean i've seen posts like these on forums going mad when its a debate on breatfeeding v formula, and other such contentious issues which really stir up emotions like childminder v nursery. But never could I have predicted that to feed or not to feed before or after payment would start such an interesting debate.

I think its absolutely fascinating :laughing:

The Juggler
29-11-2011, 10:01 PM
black and sparkly, I'm with you. I'm totally happy that some people find this unacceptable and that some people do it but I think that some of the opinions proferred have made those of us who DO allow it feel like the lowest of the low :(

I also find it a bit Ott to talk about it as taking a risk - a child eating whilst walking or being wheeled round a supermarket is no different to a child eating in a buggy, you are right there and they are supervised :panic:

rickysmiths
30-11-2011, 11:43 AM
black and sparkly, I'm with you. I'm totally happy that some people find this unacceptable and that some people do it but I think that some of the opinions proferred have made those of us who DO allow it feel like the lowest of the low :(

I also find it a bit Ott to talk about it as taking a risk - a child eating whilst walking or being wheeled round a supermarket is no different to a child eating in a buggy, you are right there and they are supervised :panic:

I have to disagree. I think a child eating when walking around is a big no no. We saw a mum giving 18m to 2yr twins a lollypop each and they were walking. Very dangerous as if they fell the mind boggles really. I also think it looks horrible but that me being old fashioned, I generally hate seeing anyone walking around munching. I just don't see the need. If you are so hungry between meals then stop and have something. We would all be a lot more healthy.

The same in the car with a drink cup or food, imagine what could happen if you had to break suddenly? Mind never eat while walking even if we have an ice cream if we are out we find somewhere to sit down for a few mins. In the buggy or a trolly not so bad because they can't trip or fall over the same way.

I just don't see why any child can't survive a trip to the shops without having to be fed. I often take mindees shopping and never feel the need to break open packets and cartons to feed them and they never ask.

Katiekoo
30-11-2011, 12:03 PM
I do generally get my dd to wait but if she's hungry we either eat at the supermarket cafe first, quickly pay for something she can eat or I bring something from home for her to eat on the way round. As a parent and cm it really isn't that hard to plan meals and snack to avoid this happening. If she asks to open/eat something (only happened once or twice) we say "no because that would be (all join in) STEALING!" She has joined in with this saying since she was about 2 yrs old.

I would like to add that I have absolutely no problem with others who choose to feed their children from the shelves on the way round, it's a personal choice.
They aren't going to arrest you for it, it's not the end of the world if you take something then pay later, it's a parents choice what to teach their children.

Most people on here are not bashing others opinions by putting their views forward and saying what they prefer to do, BUT a few folks have been a bit judgemental.

LOOPYLISA
30-11-2011, 12:40 PM
Wow! A couple of things! I'm 42 and my mum used to do this for me when I was little, only the sweet wrapper etc wasn't scanned, but price tapped into the till. So it isn't old fashioned to think it's 'stealing'. I'm shocked as I didn't realise that I was the lowest of the low (and so was my mum obv). I have done this in the past with my son, given him a drink as we were going round and had it scanned at the end. I never thought anything of it. Of course it's not stealing and I find it really offensive that people are saying that. It's only stealing if you leave the shop without paying. You cannot compare it to us not being paid on time! But you could compare it to a restaurant where you eat first and pay later!

And I have worked as a check out op before becoming a minder and never thought it was 'disgusting' when a mum handed me an empty wrapper to scan!

Lastly, it's not about rewarding unwanted behaviour either. Whats wrong with letting your child have a drink if you are on a big hour long shop? So, would it be more acceptable to go and pay for the drink first then carry on with your shop after? That would look even more dodgy, going through the checkout and NOT handing over the empty wrapper/bottle to be scanned!

Some of you have really shocked me today!

Totally agree here :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

LOOPYLISA
30-11-2011, 01:34 PM
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It is not illegal to eat whilst in a shop BEFORE paying for it, as long as you do. It is a matter of opinion. Perhaps we should just accept the fact that peoples views and opinions are different and respect it.

:clapping:

The Juggler
30-11-2011, 01:34 PM
I have to disagree. I think a child eating when walking around is a big no no. We saw a mum giving 18m to 2yr twins a lollypop each and they were walking. Very dangerous as if they fell the mind boggles really. I also think it looks horrible but that me being old fashioned, I generally hate seeing anyone walking around munching. I just don't see the need. If you are so hungry between meals then stop and have something. We would all be a lot more healthy.


The same in the car with a drink cup or food, imagine what could happen if you had to break suddenly? Mind never eat while walking even if we have an ice cream if we are out we find somewhere to sit down for a few mins. In the buggy or a trolly not so bad because they can't trip or fall over the same way.

i would never give small children lollipops hon for this very reason. I would only ever give soft food and rarely whilst walking (and usually TO a seat somewhere). I hate children running roudn with food at picnics and parties but my children do eat in buggies. Likewise NEVER in a car, as I can't attend to them if I'm driving and if they choked whilst driving I couldn't get them out safely even if I wasn't the driver. But I think a trolley or buggy is safe enough.

I just don't see why any child can't survive a trip to the shops without having to be fed. I often take mindees shopping and never feel the need to break open packets and cartons to feed them and they never ask.

I see that is your point of view and I accept it, however, I'm of the view that if they are hungry and the trip might take an hour or if I've popped in unplanned then it does no harm - I have never left without paying. I don't ever take mindees on long shopping trips so that's not relevant and my own children are older now but if I had young children I'd do it again. I just think that those who DONT' are being very harsh on those of us who DO in this debate

leopardlady
15-12-2011, 11:41 PM
thank heavens for the last 4 posts!!! I'm not a 55 yr old criminal after all lol:laughing:

onceinabluemoon
16-12-2011, 07:29 AM
I dont do it, never have and never will and have managed to raise 6 children to adulthood and care for countless mindees without having to resort to doing it. Maybe I am just lucky or maybe the fact that my own children have been raised to see it as stealing (whether legally stealing or not it is morally wrong IN MY OPINION as the food does not belong to you until paid for).

However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...

Also I just wanted to point out that the big Tesco where I used to shop has signs all around the store asking people not to eat before they have paid for the goods and the current (brand new) tesco where I now shop has similar signs stating that they take part in the civil recovery scheme and always prosecute.

DISCLAIMER: please note i am not inferring anybody is the lowest of the low because they have different morals to me.

angeldelight
16-12-2011, 07:32 AM
I dont do it, never have and never will and have managed to raise 6 children to adulthood and care for countless mindees without having to resort to doing it. Maybe I am just lucky or maybe the fact that my own children have been raised to see it as stealing (whether legally stealing or not it is morally wrong IN MY OPINION as the food does not belong to you until paid for).

However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...

Also I just wanted to point out that the big Tesco where I used to shop has signs all around the store asking people not to eat before they have paid for the goods and the current (brand new) tesco where I now shop has similar signs stating that they take part in the civil recovery scheme and always prosecute.

DISCLAIMER: please note i am not inferring anybody is the lowest of the low because they have different morals to me.

I agree my 6 children would never have done it

Our Tesco has that sign up too

Angel xx

leopardlady
16-12-2011, 08:42 PM
My friend is a store detective and says that it is not stealing until you leave the store or go through the check out without paying. This is why they approach you outside the store. Morally stealing would be if you had no intention of paying for it.

Jiorjiina
16-12-2011, 11:45 PM
My friend is a store detective and says that it is not stealing until you leave the store or go through the check out without paying. This is why they approach you outside the store. Morally stealing would be if you had no intention of paying for it.

Er, it would be legally stealing if you had no intention to pay for it!

Just because something is legal doesn't mean that people believe it is morally right (and vice versa).

Morally, it's up to the individual. If your own personal code of ethics says its fine to eat food before you pay, then morally it's not stealing (because you have the money and intent to pay). If you believe it is stealing to eat first and pay later, then to you morally it's always wrong.

This is why there is no hard and fast answer to this question, and why the debate has gone on for 6 pages!

onceinabluemoon
17-12-2011, 08:31 AM
Er, it would be legally stealing if you had no intention to pay for it!

Just because something is legal doesn't mean that people believe it is morally right (and vice versa).

Morally, it's up to the individual. If your own personal code of ethics says its fine to eat food before you pay, then morally it's not stealing (because you have the money and intent to pay). If you believe it is stealing to eat first and pay later, then to you morally it's always wrong.

This is why there is no hard and fast answer to this question, and why the debate has gone on for 6 pages!

Thank you! And well said. :)

RainbowMum
17-12-2011, 08:50 AM
[QUOTE=onceinabluemoon;1024992]
However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...


QUOTE]

An open shop is inviting you in to their premises - A locked house is not, the crime is breaking and entering, not at all related to this debate ;)

vaughny82
17-12-2011, 07:37 PM
Plan to go shopping after snack/meal time, or take snack with you, it's hardly rocket science! :)

LOOPYLISA
17-12-2011, 07:53 PM
My friend is a store detective and says that it is not stealing until you leave the store or go through the check out without paying. This is why they approach you outside the store. Morally stealing would be if you had no intention of paying for it.

:thumbsup:

stardust
17-12-2011, 09:03 PM
[QUOTE=onceinabluemoon;1024992]
However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...


QUOTE]

An open shop is inviting you in to their premises - A locked house is not, the crime is breaking and entering, not at all related to this debate ;)

What if the homeowner has accidentally left a window open? Its not breaking and entering then just entering.

Cinderbella
17-12-2011, 09:06 PM
Well I think I should be locked up and have the key thrown away, because I have done this :eek: !!!

I have been one of those mums on an hour-hour and a half shop, with 2 small children who has opened a packet of sausage rolls and let my children eat it whilst sitting in the trolley .... thank heavens they never choked as I would probably be in jail now :laughing:

I have also let my 3yo daughter wear a little headband before I paid for it :eek: !!! How terrible is that !!!

I'm sorry for my sarcasm, I agree that people should have their opinions, but some of the posts have been very judgmental and their has been alot of nitpicking :( !!!

I have never given into tantrums but children get bored!! A book from home ... well they are too young to read, they look at the pictures and then where does the book go .... on the floor... who has to keep picking it up .... me .... what happens then.... the shopping takes even longer .... great .... happy children + happy Mummy! How long would one toy hold a 1yo and a 3yr olds attention for???

I dont do it with minded children .... I do not take them to get my weekly shop (that is not what I am paid for) ... In fact I have it delivered now so it wouldnt happen with my own either! If I go to the shops now my children who are now 3 and 6 never ask me if they can have anything or throw tantrums .... so what harm has it done???

Comparing it to breaking into a house and taking personal possessions.... how ridiculous is that :laughing: .... have you ever been burgled???

Choking whilst in a shopping trolley , these are no more difficult to get children out of than buggies, high chairs, booster seats etc... and sometimes I may empty the dishwasher whilst the children are eating their lunch, I am still with them supervising them... just as I would be in a supermarket!
I do not allow children to eat in the car or whilst walking around!

What if a parent works full time and cannot just pick and choose when she goes shopping ... sometimes people cannot be so prepared to take food or plan around mealtimes!!!

If you have every intention of paying for the items before leaving the shop then this is NOT stealing !!! This cannot be compared to our fees being paid late... completely different matter :laughing: plus the parents have taken the children home, had the childcare and therefore .... 'left the shop!!!' :rolleyes:

If you think I'm a thief and a bad mum well so be it ... I wish I could live in a bubble ;)

LOOPYLISA
17-12-2011, 09:26 PM
Well I think I should be locked up and have the key thrown away, because I have done this :eek: !!!

I have been one of those mums on an hour-hour and a half shop, with 2 small children who has opened a packet of sausage rolls and let my children eat it whilst sitting in the trolley .... thank heavens they never choked as I would probably be in jail now :laughing:

I have also let my 3yo daughter wear a little headband before I paid for it :eek: !!! How terrible is that !!!

I'm sorry for my sarcasm, I agree that people should have their opinions, but some of the posts have been very judgmental and their has been alot of nitpicking :( !!!

I have never given into tantrums but children get bored!! A book from home ... well they are too young to read, they look at the pictures and then where does the book go .... on the floor... who has to keep picking it up .... me .... what happens then.... the shopping takes even longer .... great .... happy children + happy Mummy! How long would one toy hold a 1yo and a 3yr olds attention for???

I dont do it with minded children .... I do not take them to get my weekly shop (that is not what I am paid for) ... In fact I have it delivered now so it wouldnt happen with my own either! If I go to the shops now my children who are now 3 and 6 never ask me if they can have anything or throw tantrums .... so what harm has it done???

Comparing it to breaking into a house and taking personal possessions.... how ridiculous is that :laughing: .... have you ever been burgled???

Choking whilst in a shopping trolley , these are no more difficult to get children out of than buggies, high chairs, booster seats etc... and sometimes I may empty the dishwasher whilst the children are eating their lunch, I am still with them supervising them... just as I would be in a supermarket!
I do not allow children to eat in the car or whilst walking around!

What if a parent works full time and cannot just pick and choose when she goes shopping ... sometimes people cannot be so prepared to take food or plan around mealtimes!!!

If you have every intention of paying for the items before leaving the shop then this is NOT stealing !!! This cannot be compared to our fees being paid late... completely different matter :laughing: plus the parents have taken the children home, had the childcare and therefore .... 'left the shop!!!' :rolleyes:

If you think I'm a thief and a bad mum well so be it ... I wish I could live in a bubble ;)

Agree totally

onceinabluemoon
18-12-2011, 06:42 AM
Comparing it to breaking into a house and taking personal possessions.... how ridiculous is that :laughing: .... have you ever been burgled???



Thank you. And yes I have been burgled. It made me afraid to go to bed for a very long time.

Cinderbella
18-12-2011, 09:34 AM
Yes an so have I ! And no it wasn't very nice for me or my children and we still do not like to be in the house on our own! Somehow I don't think the staff or managers of the supermarkets would feel like this because someone opened a packet of sausage rolls and gave 1 to her children and then paid for them!!

Pauline
18-12-2011, 10:38 AM
Wow this is certainly a hot topic! :laughing:

Personally no I would never let a child eat anything before paying for it.

Many habits are set at an early age I just wonder what might happen in the future when a child is old enough to go shopping alone, will they pick up a packet of crisps as they wander around browsing because it is something they have always known? Would that be considered acceptable too?

little chickee
18-12-2011, 12:31 PM
I too agree with everything Cinderbella has said.

To say that you should be organisied and take a snack with you is all well and good - some of us like to to things ad hoc. Not every single minute of my day is planned out to the minute - sometimes i make things up as i go along so trips to the shop can happen unplanned!!

I do not and have never and wil never give a child - whether they be my own, a minded child , my sisters kid, a friends child etc - something to stop them having a tantrum. I will however let a child chose a snack or drink and eat it whilst going round on a unplanned shopping trip if i think they are hungry or thirsty.

I am an honest well brought up member of society and if my biggest crime is to eat a sausage roll before i pay for it ( and then pay for it) then i think i'm doing ok in this life.:thumbsup:

little chickee
18-12-2011, 12:33 PM
Wow this is certainly a hot topic! :laughing:

Personally no I would never let a child eat anything before paying for it.

Many habits are set at an early age I just wonder what might happen in the future when a child is old enough to go shopping alone, will they pick up a packet of crisps as they wander around browsing because it is something they have always known? Would that be considered acceptable too?

Yes as long as they pay for them before leaving.:D

Pauline
18-12-2011, 02:47 PM
Yes as long as they pay for them before leaving.:D

:laughing: We will just have to agree to differ on this then :D

I'm just thinking we could take this further couldn't we, what if you were feeling very cold? Would it be acceptable to go into the shop, take the tags of a cardi, wear it while you shop, then pay for it as you leave? :)

Chimps Childminding
18-12-2011, 03:01 PM
:laughing: We will just have to agree to differ on this then :D

I'm just thinking we could take this further couldn't we, what if you were feeling very cold? Would it be acceptable to go into the shop, take the tags of a cardi, wear it while you shop, then pay for it as you leave? :)

I'm with you Pauline!!! In my opinion if you haven't paid for something its not yours!!!

caz3007
18-12-2011, 03:14 PM
I'm with you Pauline!!! In my opinion if you haven't paid for something its not yours!!!

I am the same, my children have never eaten something that hasnt been paid for prior to consumption, but I think on this thread we all have our opinions if its right or wrong and we have to all accept each others opinions

Chimps Childminding
18-12-2011, 03:15 PM
I am the same, my children have never eaten something that hasnt been paid for prior to consumption, but I think on this thread we all have our opinions if its right or wrong and we have to all accept each others opinions

I agree!! :thumbsup:

Pauline
18-12-2011, 03:19 PM
I am the same, my children have never eaten something that hasnt been paid for prior to consumption, but I think on this thread we all have our opinions if its right or wrong and we have to all accept each others opinions

Definitely, it would be a boring old world if we all did the same and agreed on everything :)

Nature'sKids!
18-12-2011, 03:25 PM
[QUOTE=onceinabluemoon;1024992]
However, if it does not count as stealing until you leave the shop, how can they arrest burglars in people's houses? Surely by the same principle its not theft until they leave the house (or factory, or other building of choice).

A very confusing law in my opinion...


QUOTE]

An open shop is inviting you in to their premises - A locked house is not, the crime is breaking and entering, not at all related to this debate ;)

Totally!! Hundreds of people walk in and out of shops all day long! It's only stealing if they deliberately don't pay for goods.

Personally I don't invite 100s of people to go browsing my house ... If someone breaks into your house, even before touching anything, they have broken the law because they're not supposed to be there in the first place! Lol you can't compare the two at all!

Twinkles
18-12-2011, 04:28 PM
ENOUGH!!

You'll all go and sit on the naughty step if you don't pack it in !



There you go you can all argue about the naughty step now ! :D

Pauline
18-12-2011, 04:43 PM
ENOUGH!!

You'll all go and sit on the naughty step if you don't pack it in !



There you go you can all argue about the naughty step now ! :D

Ah but do you own that naughty step? If you haven't paid for it yet I'm not sure I can really sit on it :D

Chimps Childminding
18-12-2011, 04:55 PM
Ah but do you own that naughty step? If you haven't paid for it yet I'm not sure I can really sit on it :D

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

blue bear
18-12-2011, 07:41 PM
So if you shouldn't eat food in a supermarket before paying for it, how do you square up restaurants or hotels you always pay afterwards in them

stardust
18-12-2011, 08:50 PM
So if you shouldn't eat food in a supermarket before paying for it, how do you square up restaurants or hotels you always pay afterwards in them

If the restaurants policy is to serve before payment then that is THEIR POLICY, in a supermarket they don't take you order 'what can we offer you to have a good old munch on and leave crumbs and spillages on you way round the shop causing a health and saftey risk?'

Plus my issue is not doing it with your own children just that you should NOT be doing it with minded children!

Go on kick off about treating children different.

I am professional whilst I have other people's children will admit I threaten my children by telling them if they don't behave I will take things away and i take away their rights by sitting him on the naughty step and I am generally a bad mother because i use disposable nappy's, don't feed my son food that is only organic, and have plastic toys. and I am proud of it! I would also like to add should my son be brought home by police for mugging an old lady or anything i will quite happily chase him around the house with a slipper!

crazyhazy
18-12-2011, 10:07 PM
Seriously does nobody here eat a meal in a restaurant before paying for it? Theft is only when you actually leave the premises without having paid for something. Sounds like a lot of you need to lighten up, or maybe teach parenting courses since you're obviously so perfect you've never found yourself harassed in the supermarket near a meal time and needed to buy yourself some extra time to get round.

FWIW I don't generally give them food going round the supermarket but actually don;t care if other people do cos that's their business.

EmmaReed84
19-12-2011, 06:19 AM
OH MY GOD! This is getting sooooooooo stupid now I come on here most days and this poll is getting longer and longer but with the SAME comments...:rolleyes:

Some of you give your kids food before paying, some of you dont... it is a matter of opinion... END OF!!!

Thank you, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and GOOD NIGHT! :D

onceinabluemoon
19-12-2011, 06:46 AM
OH MY GOD! This is getting sooooooooo stupid now I come on here most days and this poll is getting longer and longer but with the SAME comments...:rolleyes:

Some of you give your kids food before paying, some of you dont... it is a matter of opinion... END OF!!!

Thank you, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and GOOD NIGHT! :D

Merry Christmas to you to Emma, have a lovely week and relax.

And to the rest of you, as Emma has said, some do some don't and some of us seem to have really strong opinions on the 'other side'. I think people are getting quite upset and quite hurt by comments being posted and whilst it started as a good debate it's getting stale now and just a little bit venomous in places.

Before I cart myself off from this thread I'd like to say Peace and goodwill to all minders (including those who eat and shop! ;) ), to all a merry Christmas and a very great holiday to those who have one. xx

Pauline
19-12-2011, 07:56 AM
I think people are getting quite upset and quite hurt by comments being posted and whilst it started as a good debate it's getting stale now and just a little bit venomous in places.

Yes it is a shame it ended like that, it was a very good debate with no need for it to get personal or insulting. :(

Everyone has agreed to differ so time to have a lock down I think :)

Merry Christmas everyone :thumbsup: