View Full Version : Is this discrimination???quite upset

18-11-2011, 06:52 PM
Hi everyone,
This is my very first post and I hope I'm doing it right! I just feel really upset and kinda discouraged (maybe it's my hormones)...but basically I started minding in September and had an after schooler and two babies start. Things have been going well and I have my own 1 year old too.
I held reviews this week and let parents know that I am 12 weeks pregnant, the response was really negative from one parent (of the older child)and I felt like I was being made to feel guilty for the fact that we are having a baby and ''not letting them know sooner'' (????) amongst other things...
I know we have very little security as minders but if I was at a place of work there is no way that my news would have been met with that response I haven't even had a congratulations yet:panic: . Needless to say two days later I was given notice to cancel the contract. It was put in the letter that they'll be looking elsewhere because they want continuous cover over my maternity period(it's 5months away!). I know that my 'condition' will not hinder my work at all so I can't understand how a parent can react that way.
Just wandered if anybody else has experienced this sort of thing or wether I should expect the same reaction from my other parents? I've just put our ''happy news''in a newsletter for other parents as I can't deal with another telling off! At this rate I'll be on maternity leave before I'm 6 months pregnant!:eek:
Appreciate any comments, thanks

christine e
18-11-2011, 07:23 PM
Well first of all congratulations:jump for joy:
Secondly I'm sure not all the parents are going to take this attitude with you and tbh you are probably better off without them


18-11-2011, 07:24 PM
I think you are very lucky that the contract has ended. I would be furious if someone treated me like that :(

Congratulations on your happy news! :clapping:

18-11-2011, 07:30 PM
Congratulations hun. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

I dont think i would like to be told in a newsletter to be honest, i would sit down with your parents and share your happy news, im sure not all of them will be such MOO bags about it.:mad:

18-11-2011, 07:34 PM
I know how you feel - I am 35 weeks pregnant and my full timers mum decided last week to drop it on me that she couldn't get cover for the 2 weeks I wanted to take for maternity leave. I gave her literally every option under the sun with regards to leaving or arranging cover but due to what I believe to be other reasons she has decided to pull her LO out. My other parent is and always has been, over the moon for me and is more than happy for me to continue working up until baby is born and then 2 weeks afterwards again.

I think the thing to remember is that a hell of a lot of people are just incredibly selfish and only think of how it will affect them - rather than being able to be happy for you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Don't let this parent stress you out, its not worth it, look after yourself x

18-11-2011, 08:14 PM
Congratulations on your news!!! I cannot believe she did not congratulate you on your happy news!!! :angry: I think she was looking for a reason to pull LO out anyway!! I would say you are definitely better off without her.

But, the one thing I would say is though, is I think you should tell the parents individually. As a parent I would prefer a personal chat about something as monumental as this. :)

18-11-2011, 08:20 PM

that is lovely news... lots of forum babies round here so you are in good company.

do you know what.. you should be :jump for joy: that this parent is leaving you - people like that you can do without in your life.... I am sure you will find someone to replace them who are a LOT nicer and less selfish.

Now you have told your parents in the newsletter I would perhaps just back it up a little with your plans and how you are going to provide cover or arrange cover for them etc etc.... just a little reassurance for them:D

18-11-2011, 08:59 PM
:clapping: :clapping: CONGRATULATIONS!!!:jump for joy: :jump for joy:

Wow, can't believe that parent spoke to you like that and gave notice, how rude ugh:eek:

When I was pregnant I didn't actually tell my parents, they just saw I was!

Don't let it get to you, this is a magical occasion in your life, enjoy it and don't dwell on any negatives!!;)

18-11-2011, 09:02 PM
Congratulations! Lovely news. These things happen both ways - if they had got pregnant they wouldn't think twice about ending the contract to go on maternity leave and leaving you to find a replacement mindee. How rude of them.

mrs robbie williams
19-11-2011, 07:38 AM
:clapping: :clapping: congratulations :clapping: :clapping:

sounds like you're better off without them hun - their loss xx

19-11-2011, 10:21 AM
Congratulations! Lovely news. These things happen both ways - if they had got pregnant they wouldn't think twice about ending the contract to go on maternity leave and leaving you to find a replacement mindee. How rude of them.

Totally agree with this. Congratulations :clapping: I'm sure most parents will be happy for you, you're definately better off without this contract.

19-11-2011, 12:15 PM
Congratulations!:clapping: Ignore those parents, if they can't be happy for you and your family then you are better off without them.
And welcome to the forum :thumbsup:

19-11-2011, 01:40 PM
congratulations! lovely news.

when i was pregnant with DD i took on a child on a short term contract, so didn't tell mum i was expecting as wouldn't affect her at all. she then asked to extend the contract to a permanent one which i could do, but said i wouldn't be available from 4 months time i was was pregnant! she was so pleased for me, but said, she just thought i was plump! :D

19-11-2011, 02:45 PM

It sounds like the mum was being really rude the way she spoke to you!
That said, thinking back to when I worked and used a childminder, if I am being totally honest, I would probably have given notice too.:( If my child had been with the childminder for some time already (I'm thinking 6 months) and I was really happy with the childminder then I would have continued with her. If she had become pregnant very soon after taking on my child I would have probably looked for someone else but I would have felt bad and been very apologetic to her about it. I don't have any family/friends around who can help with childcare and my ex-employer used to be extremely unflexible about letting me have any leave so it would have been difficult.

19-11-2011, 04:56 PM
I don't think it's discrimination (in answer to your post heading), it's just parental choice. She probably just blurted out in shock and regrets it but is annoyed that her child has settled with you and now she has to find alternative care for whatever period you are off and doesn't want her child upset.

I shouldn't wait for congrats hun, parents don't feel about us the same way we feel about them and their kids, mostly we are just the hired hand (there are some totally fab ones out there though). You probably won't get birthday cards or Christmas cards either (even though you'll probably go out of your way for them and theirs). It's just the way it is unfortunately. :(

But from me and mine
:clapping: :clapping: CONGRATULATIONS :clapping: :clapping:

19-11-2011, 08:54 PM
I really appreciate the responses, I think I really needed to vent to a group of people who would be impartial so thanks!
If I end up losing all kids I won't worry too much, that's how these things go I guess. I have more reviews so I'll know where I stand next week :) .
There have been a few other issues with this parent anyway, late payments and being really late for the school run so yea I think I have been done a favour really.

Thanks again everyone and I'm really grateful for all the well wishes!!! Take care all x x x x x x x x x

sonia ann
19-11-2011, 09:05 PM
Congratulations that's wonderful news xx
just a thought though you say you are caring for two little ones, have one of your own and are pregnant, this would give you 4 under 5yrs...................if you had them all at once you would have needed a variation...........may be she has saved you the hassle...:)