ARGH!!! Serious venting needed

[EmmaReed84]

Ok so right now I am sooo annoyed at DH! Please help me with this situation!

DH is constantly moaning at me because the house is untidy (as in not spotless) that there is always washing in the basket. He moans if I say I am going out for the day with the kids "What your going out AGAIN? You might get some housework done at some point!" *slap* When I am working on the kids folders after they go or doing paper work he moans because I am not sat with him. He talks to me while I am trying to type things up and wonders why he gets short answers and moans about that too.

I love my husband very much and he is generally supportive and I dont think he realises how hard I work. I get up at 6am get ready, prepare for the morning kids arrive at 7am I am busy all day with them doing pick up drops off, lunch, clearing up, activities. They go at 5pm then I have my own two children to get sorted until they go to bed at 7pm. Between showering my kids and getting them ready for bed I am also clearing up after that day, hoovering, mopping etc. Then at 7pm I am on the computer doing more work (not every night though)

DH thinks as I am at home I should be on top of all the house work. Dont get me wrong I sort the washing out in the morning, always on top of the dishes and hoover every night. There are a few toys out and to him the house is a tip.

He gets up goes to work, has an hour lunch, comes back and will perhaps put the kids to bed and thinks I have it easy!

Sorry really needed to vent this morning, feel better now. But what can I do to get him to understand it is not a walk in the park for me. He struggles on the weekend for a few hours with just our two boys!

[miffy]

Get him to take a day off so he can see first hand all you have to fit into a day.

Maybe he also just wants a bit of time with you so could you arrange for a relative or friend to have the boys so you and dh could spend some time together?

Miffy xx

[sarah707]

I divorced mine and found a man who understands :laughing:

Is he aware of the difference your income makes to the smooth running of the house and all the extras you buy because you are working?

Is he aware of the impact on him and the family if you work outside the house?

Is he under stress somewhere else in his life and taking it out on you?

I think instead of little jibes you both need to sit down properly and really talk about your future.

Hugs xx

[ajs]

I divorced mine and found a man who understands :laughing:

Is he aware of the difference your income makes to the smooth running of the house and all the extras you buy because you are working?

Is he aware of the impact on him and the family if you work outside the house?

Is he under stress somewhere else in his life and taking it out on you?

I think instead of little jibes you both need to sit down properly and really talk about your future.

Hugs xx

I agree with Sarah he needs a lesson in your day, I would not be putting up with constant moaning about the house, "if it's untidy tidy it then" you will run yourself ragged with work kids and him and he needs to pull his weight more

[helengreen13]

My DH was like this until recently when I had a hospital appointment. I work with an assistant (my sister) and she was just within her numbers 6 and then my DH had my three that night so we had a total of 9 after schoolies. I came home that night to absolute chaos (my sister had deliberately choose tasks that took alot of cleaning up, clay models, paint etc that we dont do everynight but once a week.

My DH is a changed man and now comes in from work and helps out as he has realised how hard childminding can be.
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

[EmmaReed84]

My DH was like this until recently when I had a hospital appointment. I work with an assistant (my sister) and she was just within her numbers 6 and then my DH had my three that night so we had a total of 9 after schoolies. I came home that night to absolute chaos (my sister had deliberately choose tasks that took alot of cleaning up, clay models, paint etc that we dont do everynight but once a week.

My DH is a changed man and now comes in from work and helps out as he has realised how hard childminding can be.
:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

DH has no patience lol. I have explained to him that if he thinks two children (his own) a couple of hours for one day was hard work then try 55 hours a week with 4 sometimes 5 children and no break. He is like "Yeah I understand but..." There is no BUT!!! lol

DH and I also make sure our weekends are free of work, we concentrate on our kids in the day and each other at night so its not like he has NO time with me. He even made up the rule that the week is for work and weekend is for play

[VeggieSausage]

well mine couldn't care less about the housework and doesn't see why I might need to keep the house clean - NOT GOOD - because he does not contribute to doing it and doesn't care if I do it or not and hence if I want it done I have to do it myself GRRRRR.....wouldn't mind if i didn't have to clear up after him to clean round things too.

I feel soooo busy and have to do everything myself including the garden, all the household paperwork, organise any DIY and keep everyone happy including DH and teenagers.......nice if someone kept me happy for a change! moan, moan, grumble grumble....feel better now lol.

I couldn't take my DH moaning the house wasn't done but don't know what to suggest - write down a log of you day and give it to him?

[Pipsqueak]

Like a zillion OH's yours doesn't 'get' that you are working, securing an income albiet from your home.

If you were going OUT to work he would 'get' that you cannot do it all, so the crux of this its because you are at home.

He needs a lesson in your day - as everyone else suggests. Failing that a BIG kick up the jacksey!
Besides the housework is not just YOUR concern - its everyone's who lives in the house

[candy cat]

We share ours......i have Mondays off to iron etc and get the washing sorted as it was all getting me down......my partner cleans upstairs and i do downstairs and it works for us,but most of the time every work surface is related to my job!lol

[Pipsqueak]

Actually do you want us all to come round with our bats and sort him out!!!:D

Twinkles is a dab hand at this!
Blaze has a whip!
you get the picture....:laughing:

[EmmaReed84]

Actually do you want us all to come round with our bats and sort him out!!!:D

Twinkles is a dab hand at this!
Blaze has a whip!
you get the picture....:laughing:

lol I like this idea!!! My DH's face when a load of angry childminders come knocking at the door lol

My DH is such a bum head at times though. I talk to him, explain things and he is like "Yeah I understand" "I know it is hard etc" "Dont worry babe, just do the basics" "I will help you because you are working too" but when it comes to the crunch he is like "Why are you going out?" "couldnt you just go down the garden quickly and hang out the washing when the kids are playing?" "Why cant you leave the kids to go and hoover upstairs" I want to flick him right between the eyes sometimes lol

[Chimps Childminding]

lol I like this idea!!! My DH's face when a load of angry childminders come knocking at the door lol

My DH is such a bum head at times though. I talk to him, explain things and he is like "Yeah I understand" "I know it is hard etc" "Dont worry babe, just do the basics" "I will help you because you are working too" but when it comes to the crunch he is like "Why are you going out?" "couldnt you just go down the garden quickly and hang out the washing when the kids are playing?" "Why cant you leave the kids to go and hoover upstairs" I want to flick him right between the eyes sometimes lol

Oh I know that feeling, except I would punch mine not flick :laughing: He doesn't actually complain out load but its sly things like where's my so and so I put it to wash last weekend??? Yes but if I don't get it washed and ironed over the week-end it doesn't get done till the next Friday when I am off :angry: or could you just do xxxx or xxxx or ring xxxx - especially the days when he knows I have one that screams if I so much as move a muscle :angry: While he comes home at 5 ish and sits on his bum infront of tv and laptop and I don't finish till 6!!!

[Tatjana]

Mine is the opposite, he moans that I clean too much and keep putting everything away....and get at him to put his stuff away, that's what it really is!!:laughing:

But he thinks I can do any errands as I am 'at home all day' clearly just pampering myself with oh so much time on my hands, ugh :rolleyes:

[mr man]

i had this too, my DH was confused why it was worse ow than before even though i wass home still.

the had a couple of days off and lasted less than an hour -after seeing for himself he has never said another thing.

if he comes home from work early - he plays for a bit then disappears upstairs. i do prefer this anyway.

not another word said - i do remind him when he does try to moan, shall i go back to my shop job then ? big fat NO.

[Tealady]

Fortuneately my Hubby gets one day off a week so sees what goes on!

He's lovely and the other week where I had a 70hr week (not an often occurance I hasten to add) he spoilt me rotten at the weekend.

I have been registered for 3 years and he wasn't this good at the begining.