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View Full Version : More time for own kids..no chance



JCrakers
14-11-2011, 02:30 PM
A lot of people think that childminding is a perfect job which enables you to spend more time with your own children, which in some cases is true.

But dd needs 4 teeth out and also is having lots of headaches so we seem to be in and out of the dentist and doctors at the moment.
Shes been referred for dental surgery and also paediatric doctor and trying to find appointments which fit in with work is just not happening.
Made an appointemnt in town as it good walking distance and I could still look after the 3yr old and 2yr old I have.....got home to find it clashes with christmas school holidays so I really dont want to be dragging 3 children along and can't cancel either as ive already committed...I feel really bad as I should be putting dd first but cant really cancel work commitments either :angry:
Hubbie is taking her as its easier for him to get time off.

uf353432
14-11-2011, 02:36 PM
story of my life - my husband is taking our daughter for jabs tommorrow because it clashed with a drop off and then school runs. Still he is one of her parents as well - so it shouldnt fall to me to attend all her medical needs. I do agree I think I was seriously misguided that I would spend any time attending to my or my kids needs as a childminder.

marnieb
14-11-2011, 02:41 PM
yep, have to agree!!!

Chatterbox Childcare
14-11-2011, 02:44 PM
I do the same if DH can but most of the time I take the children with me

singingcactus
14-11-2011, 02:47 PM
It gets really bad sometimes. I was a childminder before I ever had kids so haven't chosen it for that reason, but in all honesty it really does my head in when people say, well at least you get to spend all day with your kids! Yeah, I do, but not in the same way a true stay at home mum does! My husband usually does all the appointments too. But at the moment while he is on deployment I am having to cancel work for it. All my current parents are amazing though, so it isn't a problem but.....you know how it is with guilt lol.

cs01
14-11-2011, 03:22 PM
A lot of people think that childminding is a perfect job which enables you to spend more time with your own children, which in some cases is true.

But dd needs 4 teeth out and also is having lots of headaches so we seem to be in and out of the dentist and doctors at the moment.
Shes been referred for dental surgery and also paediatric doctor and trying to find appointments which fit in with work is just not happening.
Made an appointemnt in town as it good walking distance and I could still look after the 3yr old and 2yr old I have.....got home to find it clashes with christmas school holidays so I really dont want to be dragging 3 children along and can't cancel either as ive already committed...I feel really bad as I should be putting dd first but cant really cancel work commitments either :angry:
Hubbie is taking her as its easier for him to get time off.

My daughter woke up with a urine infection so ended up taking her and 3 mindees for an emergency appointment at the dr's this morning. Had to ask a friend to come with me to help me out! I don't think I've ever seen the GP without someone else's children in tow ;)

I think its one of the hardest jobs I've ever done since being a parent.

rickysmiths
14-11-2011, 03:26 PM
I did it to stay at home and be able to do many of the above mentioned things with my children.

I think a lot of us did when I became a cm and it worked very well. I had one little boy (16weeks old and I had him until he was 3yrs) every afternoon from 1pm to 5pm and not in the school holidays. I had the mornings to take my children to their toddler groups etc. As my two got older and were at school full time I took on more children. For a good while I only had before and after school term time only so I had the holidays with my children and I had a different job during the day. There is no way me or my family would have coped if I had had three under fives from day one.

The difference today seems to be that cms start and expect to work full time from day one with the max children they are allowed to have. Doing this of course it is going to be hard if not impossible to fit in things you need to do or want to do with your own children.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
14-11-2011, 03:42 PM
Know how you feel my dd2 has had lots of appointments at the hospital for her eyes and she is going again on Thursday but hubby has to take her as I cannot :( She has to have an operation soon, could be christmas will find out on Thursday, but have warned parents that I am have to finish on the
16th when the kids break up.

Luckly one is only term time only and the other parent is brilliant which really helps.

cs01
14-11-2011, 04:15 PM
[QUOTE=rickysmiths;1010589
The difference today seems to be that cms start and expect to work full time from day one with the max children they are allowed to have. Doing this of course it is going to be hard if not impossible to fit in things you need to do or want to do with your own children.[/QUOTE]

I only work part time, (3 days) and Mondays are my only day with 3 mindees but typically its always the day that my daughter needs to see a Dr!

Chimps Childminding
14-11-2011, 05:08 PM
I only work part time, (3 days) and Mondays are my only day with 3 mindees but typically its always the day that my daughter needs to see a Dr!

Thats always the way!!! I am lucky now that my sons are grown up so don't rely on me, but it was hard when they were little Although I was at home I never really felt as though they were getting the attention they should have been and as you say appointments (unless arranged sometime in advance) were a nightmare!!!

snufflepuff
14-11-2011, 05:27 PM
I agree! It's something I struggle with to be honest. I could take mindees to some things but it would be very difficult and stressful. It's not just medical things either- there are things I know he would love to do like tumble tots, music sessions, craft groups- but I'd have to pay for a mindee or two to come with us which would obviously eat in to my already measly profit. Plus you often have to pay for a whole term in advance and knowing my luck I'd pay for a mindee to go then they would change their days or give notice and I'd have paid all that for nothing!! Sooo he has to miss out.

hollyberry
14-11-2011, 05:36 PM
When you haven't got a DH it's even more difficult to handle those appointments and things!!!

I am a single parent so having very part-time hours isn't what I need - I need to be as close to 'full' as I can be in order to survive financially - it's not a choice and a desire just to be full, it's a financial necessity. Unfortunately, there's not enough work that I can find and I am going into debt!!!

I was working proper full time with an hour/hour and a half commute morning and evening last yr - I NEVER saw my children and hated it. I explained to them that it's either that we share our home with other children and that means that there will be other children here when they come home from school and in the school holidays and I'm here and we are all together and typically our family time starts about 5pm, or, I go back out to work full time they have to go to a cm after school and most of the school holidays and they won't see me from 7am to 6.30pm. At the end of the day, they have to get used to having other children around who may not be their first choice of companion - but that's life, we all have to go to work and mix with people that aren't necessarily who we would choose - so good learning for how to get on with a varied mix of other people.

Maza
14-11-2011, 08:00 PM
People with 'real' jobs tend to think of me as a kind of stay at home mum, but it's soooo not true in lots of ways. The mums at playgroup I'm sure think I'm being silly when I don't join in with this or that (eg a nice walk through the woods because mindee doesn't have wellies and has brand new expensive shoes on). I've also had to take mindees to dr's with DD and I feel so naughty telling the parents.

mandy moo
15-11-2011, 09:36 AM
I know some people wouldnt like having just after schoolers, but it works for me, I find I can do things like taking me or my own children to DR's, Dentist, etc, doesnt bring in a lot of money but I enjoy it,
It has also allowed me to work at our local Pre School 2-3 sessions a week.

bexcee
15-11-2011, 09:54 AM
I have recently changed by working hours so that I always finish at 5pm and I only work during term time. This means that I get to spend evenings and school holidays just me and my children which I love.
It's not an easy job and trying to juggle appointments and mindees isn't easy but then it'd be the same if you worked in an office and had to take time off.
Don't feel guilty about not going with your daughter, am sure your husband will be just fine and if you think he will forget something write a list of questions for him to ask!
I have chosen not to take my full quota of children as well as I want to enjoy the ones that I have. My own children are at school full time and I have five little ones on my books, I work Monday to Friday 8am to 5pm with two children each day and I have to say for the first time in four years of minding I have the balance right (fingers crossed I haven't jinxed things now :blush: )

VeggieSausage
15-11-2011, 06:53 PM
I am finding this too, I have 3 under 3's every day and then pick up my own dd and 2 others after school. I don't have time to do anything, not even pop into town with them all if I have anything to do. My DH is doing all the appointments - feel over committed, maybe its time to cut back. Hard though to let people down isn't it :(