View Full Version : how to tell a new parent that theyre not helping

04-11-2011, 10:59 AM
I have 2 new starters , child k started 1 months ago and is fine during the day , can be a little clingy but is still young at 17 months , so I can deal with that , only mum on the other hand won't leave him at the door , she insists on coming in and fussing over him , which causes him to sit on her lap and cling ! It drives me mad especially as she arrives just as I need to leave for the school run :angry:

Child f ( just 2 ) started today , dad brought him late as he had problems with his car , do you think he would just leave ? Not a chance , he insisted on making s huge fuss about saying good bye

Now I realise it must be hard for parents to leave their beloveds but how do I tell them to politely ****** off as its not making the settling in process easy with them faffing about

04-11-2011, 11:03 AM
D you have a settling in where parents are present?
What I hope to do (if parents wish) isto have a few hours, on 2 or 3 days a week or two before starting care for the parents to come in with the child and for the child to be familiarised before beig left alone, so it seems more like being left at a friends iyswim.
Maybe you could arrange for this to happen but sy that after that the parents will have to leave ASAP so you can get on?

04-11-2011, 11:05 AM
I would push them in the right directions by keeping the hand over at the door way , saying out loud say goodbye to mummy /daddy as they need to go to work now and we need to go on our school run , have a good day mummy/daddy...... x

I always text them within half an hour to let them no eveything is ok and they are settled to put their mind at ease which helps xx

04-11-2011, 11:05 AM
lol.....It doesnt help at all does it when parents hang around. I do prefer a quick drop off as its much better for the children.

Maybe write a note/drop off policy.
Due to the school run and tight morning schedule, please could all parents drop off the children quickly in a morning. This will also help them settle in quicker and make things run smoothly in a morning...

Something like that, if I had longer to think, the wordings could be changed

04-11-2011, 11:07 AM
Sorry, but I can't leave my daughter at nursery at the door, I like to settle her in and make sure she is ok, sometimes I am there 15 minutes or so then I say Goodbye and leave her.

I too used to think please just go it doesn't help, but it is so hard as I know how parents feel. I have a parent who comes in and spends 5 or 10 minutes settling her Lo in then gives her a kiss and hug and off she goes and it's what works for Mum and I totally support her with this.

On the other hand I have a parent who can't get rid of lo quick enough and he is sometimes sad that Mum has left without a kiss or even a goodbye.

It's all about individual parents and working with parents, plus the two children you have are new starters, so you need to give the parents a little comfort and leeway to leaving their child with someone new, they will soon settle:thumbsup:

04-11-2011, 11:11 AM
I would put in a letter to all parents that you would like to try a new arrangement for dropping off time and that from now on, all handovers will be done at the door.

Explain that it is unsettling for all children if a parent comes in, that it is inconvenient if you are trying to get children ready to leave the house and that it helps the children settle so much easier if parents leave straight away.

Tell them you are going to give it a trial run and see how it goes and you would like the support of all parents. Then, after a couple of weeks say that it's working so well, you have decided to stick with it!

You will have to be firm with some parents though & tell them you will text them during the morning if they want you to & let them know that their child has settled.

04-11-2011, 11:29 AM
^ Same as Mouse... in fact I have just had that exact conversation with some new parents who came to check me out this morning :D

04-11-2011, 11:29 AM
Is it upsetting the children?

I have a parent who come in for 5 or 10 minutes in the morning and settles her little one and it really helps little one and mum feel ok for the day, so i dont mind in the slightest.

If it is making you rush to get to school could you just explain the situation and then if they still feel they want to come in of a morning, maybe they come come 5-10 mins earlier? :)

mrs c
04-11-2011, 01:56 PM
I introduced dropping off and picking up at the door in September. It works so much better. The mum who was most worried about this wishes I had done it sooner. We've worked it so she gives her lo the special goodbye cuddles as she lifts her out of the car. The biggest advantage is with the pick ups as I no longer have some parents coming in and plonking themselves down. Means I tend to be able to finish on time :thumbsup: