Anon8319
27-10-2011, 08:15 AM
I suppose I am a people-pleaser if you like. I decided when I started this new venture of mine, that I'd be open 7-7, with normal hours 8-6 but some flexibility if required. I also decided I'd do overnights for over 5s and weekends if they were desperate.
So without going into too much detail that would reveal who I am, my first family required me to start 715ish Mon-Fri and finish at the end of the school day. This soon turned into me doing one afterschool a week and the rest of the week finishing at 330. I could cope with that. THEN it started that every other week, on one day a week, the dad would need to drop off at 630, but this in practise was 615 the first week. It is turning into every week with no agreement from my side, just an assumption from theirs (I agreed to every other week reluctantly as it's just one day and I wanted to keep them). So the 715 became 7am, but that's fine as they pay from 7 and I am happy to be flexible.
BUT I am exhausted and feel like a nanny!! I feel like they think they are employing me. There's issues about my holiday, me needing to close the setting (for a genuine personal problem with my daughter) and them expecting me to 'make up the hours on another night'!! No, it's called 'setting closure' and I don't make up hours! This person also expects to be able to 'agree' whether I take on more children etc. Little things are getting to me like the fact I asked the dad and chn to be a little quieter (they shout) when they got here because my 18 month old was still asleep (625am) and so was the rest of the street, and I got a strop from him!!!
I am exhausted and regretting agreeing to such early starts when it's every day, even though I enjoy the earlier finishes. I also agreed to do a Saturday every other week for someone who was struggling to find someone, and I did it as I know the person and felt a bit sorry for her! This is now EVERY Saturday and I get £45 for doing it - rubbish! The Saturdays aren't SO bad as it's a 9am start, but that is family time and I feel silly for taking on a mindee in that time!
I now have a lady who wants me to have her 2 year old son Mon-Weds (not every day each week as she's a shift worker) and before pre-school on a Thurs and Fri if she is working. This is ideal for me - she can give the days she needs a month in advance, the starts are 745 which is OK by me, still earlyish but it's not every day, it's not a full week and the finishes are 245. It won't give me the same income as the first family but I already have the Saturday and a child 2-3 overnights a week, so my income is OK. But the first mother is not going to be happy about this. :(
So now I am not really sure what to do. I have only had this family 1 for a month, so it feels really mean to leave them in the lurch (although she has her family helping out a lot), but I feel like giving them notice (I'd give til New Year). There are lots of niggles and things annoying me and I don't think it bodes particularly well for a future working relationship. My one worry is that I will end up not refilling that space, but as my husband reminds me, I've had to turn two or three down because of a worry of taking on too many or annoying family one, so more will come along.
Other ponderings. The children obviously bring their toys with them when they come. That's fine. But the oldest brought a light-up sword and was waving it round in my face - I don't want that in my setting, and I realise this will probably be alien to some, so I asked him to put it away til he is ready to go home, to which I got attitude so I took it away and put it on a high shelf and have texted mum to say I have done this so that I don't get backlash. Do you allow chn to bring toy weapons? The children are always fighting (play or otherwise) and I am constantly having to bring them up on it. Another thing is that I gave a very clear and easy list of things we would need when the children started - waterproofs, woolies etc. In the first week the youngest was sent without any of this and it was so cold I had to use my daughter's own things. I finally managed to get them to bring things but the girl still gets sent with just a pair of trousers, a long sleeved tshirt, a pair of socks and a pair of shoes. She also has a comforter in the form of a vest and there are always 2 spares in her bag, so I've been putting one on her to keep her warm - rightly or wrongly! She has wellies and waterproofs but no cardigan or jumper. I don't know what other language to put it in - I keep asking!!! There were early issues anyway with the way the parents spoke to me etc, which I did speak about on here. I just don't know how to go about this.
Also, on another note, they do bring lots with them, even if not the right things (!!!) and I have about 5 or 6 bags full of stuff in my hallway on a daily basis. I send it home on a friday as I can't be doing with my hallway clogged up like it, but she said she wants most of it left here. I have nowhere to keep it and it pees me off tbh that she just can't be bothered to a) bring the essentials (I don't need swimming stuff here as I have too many chn with me to take them swimming!); b) take it all home on a friday!
End of rant.
So without going into too much detail that would reveal who I am, my first family required me to start 715ish Mon-Fri and finish at the end of the school day. This soon turned into me doing one afterschool a week and the rest of the week finishing at 330. I could cope with that. THEN it started that every other week, on one day a week, the dad would need to drop off at 630, but this in practise was 615 the first week. It is turning into every week with no agreement from my side, just an assumption from theirs (I agreed to every other week reluctantly as it's just one day and I wanted to keep them). So the 715 became 7am, but that's fine as they pay from 7 and I am happy to be flexible.
BUT I am exhausted and feel like a nanny!! I feel like they think they are employing me. There's issues about my holiday, me needing to close the setting (for a genuine personal problem with my daughter) and them expecting me to 'make up the hours on another night'!! No, it's called 'setting closure' and I don't make up hours! This person also expects to be able to 'agree' whether I take on more children etc. Little things are getting to me like the fact I asked the dad and chn to be a little quieter (they shout) when they got here because my 18 month old was still asleep (625am) and so was the rest of the street, and I got a strop from him!!!
I am exhausted and regretting agreeing to such early starts when it's every day, even though I enjoy the earlier finishes. I also agreed to do a Saturday every other week for someone who was struggling to find someone, and I did it as I know the person and felt a bit sorry for her! This is now EVERY Saturday and I get £45 for doing it - rubbish! The Saturdays aren't SO bad as it's a 9am start, but that is family time and I feel silly for taking on a mindee in that time!
I now have a lady who wants me to have her 2 year old son Mon-Weds (not every day each week as she's a shift worker) and before pre-school on a Thurs and Fri if she is working. This is ideal for me - she can give the days she needs a month in advance, the starts are 745 which is OK by me, still earlyish but it's not every day, it's not a full week and the finishes are 245. It won't give me the same income as the first family but I already have the Saturday and a child 2-3 overnights a week, so my income is OK. But the first mother is not going to be happy about this. :(
So now I am not really sure what to do. I have only had this family 1 for a month, so it feels really mean to leave them in the lurch (although she has her family helping out a lot), but I feel like giving them notice (I'd give til New Year). There are lots of niggles and things annoying me and I don't think it bodes particularly well for a future working relationship. My one worry is that I will end up not refilling that space, but as my husband reminds me, I've had to turn two or three down because of a worry of taking on too many or annoying family one, so more will come along.
Other ponderings. The children obviously bring their toys with them when they come. That's fine. But the oldest brought a light-up sword and was waving it round in my face - I don't want that in my setting, and I realise this will probably be alien to some, so I asked him to put it away til he is ready to go home, to which I got attitude so I took it away and put it on a high shelf and have texted mum to say I have done this so that I don't get backlash. Do you allow chn to bring toy weapons? The children are always fighting (play or otherwise) and I am constantly having to bring them up on it. Another thing is that I gave a very clear and easy list of things we would need when the children started - waterproofs, woolies etc. In the first week the youngest was sent without any of this and it was so cold I had to use my daughter's own things. I finally managed to get them to bring things but the girl still gets sent with just a pair of trousers, a long sleeved tshirt, a pair of socks and a pair of shoes. She also has a comforter in the form of a vest and there are always 2 spares in her bag, so I've been putting one on her to keep her warm - rightly or wrongly! She has wellies and waterproofs but no cardigan or jumper. I don't know what other language to put it in - I keep asking!!! There were early issues anyway with the way the parents spoke to me etc, which I did speak about on here. I just don't know how to go about this.
Also, on another note, they do bring lots with them, even if not the right things (!!!) and I have about 5 or 6 bags full of stuff in my hallway on a daily basis. I send it home on a friday as I can't be doing with my hallway clogged up like it, but she said she wants most of it left here. I have nowhere to keep it and it pees me off tbh that she just can't be bothered to a) bring the essentials (I don't need swimming stuff here as I have too many chn with me to take them swimming!); b) take it all home on a friday!
End of rant.