Is it unfair of me to ask for the 23rd of December off..?

[juslh]

Charges mum has said they will be taking the week between christmas and new year off. I have asked if i could add the 23rd of december (ie the Friday) to that. Mum e mailed back that she and husband have no holiday left and both work places expect them in. She is a nurse and he is a doctor and so they do find it hard to get time off. But I would really like to spend a bit of time with my own boys before christmas kicks off. Equally, I wouldn't be disciplined by my boss if i took time off so i do feel for them. On the other hand, I have only asked for that extra day and feel a little irritated that shes put the guilts on me. Am I being bah humbug..?

[LittleMissSparkles]

Charges mum has said they will be taking the week between christmas and new year off. I have asked if i could add the 23rd of december (ie the Friday) to that. Mum e mailed back that she and husband have no holiday left and both work places expect them in. She is a nurse and he is a doctor and so they do find it hard to get time off. But I would really like to spend a bit of time with my own boys before christmas kicks off. Equally, I wouldn't be disciplined by my boss if i took time off so i do feel for them. On the other hand, I have only asked for that extra day and feel a little irritated that shes put the guilts on me. Am I being bah humbug..?


you asked !!!! you dont ask hun... they dont own you you give them your holiday dates in writing giving them the required notice, you are providing a service to them they dont employ you , being self employed means you are able to pick and choose your time off to suit you and your family hun xxx

[AliceK]

Well personally I don't ever "ask" for my holidays. We are running our own business and as such we decide when we are taking holiday and inform our parents. At least that's what I do. My contract states I will give a minimum of 4 wks notice but I always give my dates months in advance. I think if you want to take the 23rd off you should.

xxxxx

[pinky33]

We ave learnt it's best not to ask lol because it's never a good time for parents.

[Maza]

As above. You've given them plenty of notice to make alternative arrangements.

[nikki thomson]

Hi, it really annoys me when parents say I have no holiday left, your giving them nearly 2 months notice, please don't give in otherwise every time you want a day of it'll be the same story.
Unfortunately all most parents care about is there hols they don't always appreciate that just because there not working you still are if you have other mindee's and that you need hols as well. X

[little chickee]

As above!!!

You do not need their permission to take a holiday - you give them 4 weeks notice and you take the day off.

Thats why you are self employed - so you can work to your own scehdule.

Please tell the parents that you will take the day off.
Take a minute to think about what kind of a day you will have on the 23rd if you do work. You will spend the whole day miserable and resenting the parents and the child.

[angeldelight]

Agree with the above

You are irritated because you know deep down they have a cheek.

Have your day and enjoy it with your family

Keep us posted,good luck

Angel xx

[rickysmiths]

Until this year I have always worked up to and including Christmas Eve. It just happens that all but one of my parents was going to be off and the remaining parents I still had two days holiday unused so I have said I will be taking them the week before Christmas so it is the first time for years that I will be off.

Having worked myself I know how hard it can be for some parents to take time off around Christmas and New Year so I must say I have always been flexible. I must say I quite enjoy having the little ones the week before Christmas, we do all sorts of fun stuff and I will miss that. I used do do things my two could join in with when they were small. I also tell my parents in January when I will be taking my core holiday so they can plan ahead.

I am surprised that between a nurse and a doctor they don't or haven't saved some holiday for emergencies. They would have in excess of 6 weeks holiday a year each and the nurse will get 10 BH when you include the NHS days they get.

As others have said it is their problem, you have given them 2 months notice which is very generous. Do you have a friend cm who might be able to have the mindees on that Friday for them? That's what I try and do if a parent has a problem.

[boxtree7]

take what holidays you wish .. learn from my mistakes - is there another setting the child can go to. I gave my holidays way back in August for Christmas - parent had a moan then announced they are taking 10 days in october when they returned just had another great 3 days visiting family in the UK. NO holidays left for christmas it really isn't our problem.

[Tink]

Why is it unfair? It's your business and you decide when you work hun. If it was up to some parents we would be working 365 days a year 24/7:laughing:

[kindredspirits]

tell them you are taking the day off - they will either have to change their holiday plans to accomodate you, pull a sicky or draft in some family help. either way you are entitled to your holiday that you want. i made the mistake of actually postponing going away for one family who were desperate for me not to take that day off - lost money doing it as i had already paid for the hotel, and about a month later they gave me notice and accused me of being unflexible because i insisted they give me the full 4 weeks notice :rolleyes:

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
I agree with the above. Learn never to ask for what you're entitled to :thumbsup:

I'd answer the parent with a polite. "Dear x, Just to let you know that I will be taking x/x/x off as holiday. Please make a note of the date. best wishes, juslh".
If they complain just say you have given them plenty of notice so as to cause the minimum of inconvenience. Unless you have told them you will always fit in with their plans, you have every right to decide your own holidays with a reasonable amount of notice :thumbsup:

There's no way you could accommodate all parents' demands. Imagine if they all took different holiday and expected you to be available the rest of the year: you'd get no holiday at all! :panic:

Its easy when you start out to be flexible for parents, but it gets harder as you have more families to accommodate, including your own. I'm guessing you childmind partly to give your own child a better life after all?

You are giving them over 8 weeks notice, which is more than fair. Mine get 4 weeks notice, though I have managed this year to give provisional dates for 25 of my 30 days.
Very silly of them if they really have used up all their holidays: there are often emergencies where children are concerned. But its their problem at the end of the day, not yours.

Don't feel guilty, feel assertive! they're trying to tell you when you can or can't take your holiday. But you did ask, which may have given them the idea that its up to them :panic: Just don't ask again and they won't have the opportunity!

Good luck with putting them straight :thumbsup: remember to come back and let us know how you get on :)

best wishes,
Wendy :)

[ChocolateChip]

Do you have a policy that covers holidays?
I do and it states that I will normally take 4 weeks off a year but reserve the right to change that amount, also that I may need to take extra days off for training, appointments or family commitments and that I will give at least 4 weeks notice.
I also work out my holidays for the year and give them out to parents in January so plenty of notice, have actually just worked out my dates for next year!
You might feel you need to keep this family onside on this occasion hun, but in future tell them what you are working and they will have to fit in, I have tried to be flexible in the past but you end up with no time off and working for a pittance as only one family needs you.

[funemnx]

I wonder what they would do if you called in sick that day? Obviously they would have to sort something for lo - which means they can now, given 2 months notice!

[Ripeberry]

Now I would be trying to count up how much holiday time they have used so far :rolleyes: You can bet that they have a few days spare, but don't want to use it for your benefit :mad:

Go ahead and take the time off. They will have to make other arrangements, it's not like you are not giving them plenty of notice.

[The Juggler]

its hard with parents that work in hospitals etc like this that can't get time off. so not much chance of you even finishing early on xmas eve hey? I used to work all of xmas week as had a parent in accounts who had her company year end then. but then she would go and take the week before xmas off, bring the kids so she had a week off and I didn't :angry: wish I'd just closed now but hey ho:rolleyes:

however, personally speaking I'd rather have the days off between xmas and new year. if they changed their hols to have xmas eve off you might end up with them asking if you'll work one of the days between xmas and new year :(

i've often worked xmas even and often you can have a really fun day. xmas party food, lots of xmas songs and just go and visit a garden centre with reindeer or lovely decorations to look at :thumbsup:

However, everyone is right it is up to you. you've given enough notice to her so its your choice. :thumbsup:

[sarah707]

I have never asked in 18 years! I tell parents when we are taking holiday and give them as much warning as I can.

I think 2 months is more than generous notice for them to find alternative care :D

[miffy]

I think you made a mistake "asking" for the holiday - it almost implies a right to them to refuse you.

As the others have said you have given them two months notice to find alternative care, if you want the day off you are entitled to have it.

Miffy xx