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Nature'sKids!
17-10-2011, 07:57 AM
After reading a few posts on different aspects on the relationship between CM and parents I feel it is really difficult to strike the balance between remaining professional and being friends.

I've always felt a CM would be best for kids as they are in a home setting and it can be more like a friend looking after your children. But then you get parents who call and say "oh I cant pay because I'm going out,...hope you don't mind..." like it's a favour you're doing when looking after Lo's

You want to be friendly and welcoming, need to have a good relationship for the sake of the kids too.
But having a friendly relationship (where parents are willing to help out too) AND being firm about business rules seem to clash often don't they?

JCrakers
17-10-2011, 08:19 AM
I regard some of my parents as friends...a couple Ive been out with on a night out a couple I wouldn't. Depends how long ive known them. Ive got children the same ages as some of them and they all go to the same school. But they have been attending between 3-4yrs now :D

I dont enjoy talking about money but I have to do it. I think Ive got a good balance but everyone is so good. They genarally all pay on time and Ive never had a dispute with late fees. From the experience of my parents they wouldnt say anything like ' Im going out and cant pay this week'

Occasionally the childcare vouchers that come straight into my bank are late but I just mention to parents that the money hasnt come through.
I feel that what helps is I dont rely on my wages to pay the bills so Im able to be a lot more relaxed about it. I dont charge late fees and if someone is late paying then Im not needing the money.
Im signing up a new family and Mum asked if she could pay the deposit next week as hubbie gets paid, Im fine with this but wouldnt be if I had bills to pay.

I think it would be a lot harder if the money was needed to pay the bills as if anyone was late paying I would really have to get tougher.

uf353432
17-10-2011, 08:20 AM
I think its something that comes with experience to be honest, the more parents you have come across, the more experience you have you get to find a balance that works for you for each of the parents. I have 14 sets of parents and I have a very different relationship with all of them. Some were friends before childminding, some have become friends since childminding, some view me only as a childminder, some are challenging and some as easy as pie. But NOONE has ever missed a payment. When I started out and when I embark on a new relationship the money side of things, the contract, the paperwork all of that is done in a highly professional fashion. I have always been very clear in my terms, and I think that the moment you have any ambiguity you open the door to problems. Once you have your framework to work within you will find the relationships take care of themselves. To some you will only be 'the childminder' to others you will be an extension of their family - but there is no reason why both types of relationship and everything in between has to be tricky in terms of the business end. I beleive you can have friends as customers - I have a few that were friends first, who used me because they trust me. But I was always very clear there will be times when I have my business head on - and they are in complete agreement that this is the way it needs to be sometimes.

PixiePetal
17-10-2011, 08:34 AM
I think its something that comes with experience to be honest, the more parents you have come across, the more experience you have you get to find a balance that works for you for each of the parents. I have 14 sets of parents and I have a very different relationship with all of them. Some were friends before childminding, some have become friends since childminding, some view me only as a childminder, some are challenging and some as easy as pie. But NOONE has ever missed a payment. When I started out and when I embark on a new relationship the money side of things, the contract, the paperwork all of that is done in a highly professional fashion. I have always been very clear in my terms, and I think that the moment you have any ambiguity you open the door to problems. Once you have your framework to work within you will find the relationships take care of themselves. To some you will only be 'the childminder' to others you will be an extension of their family - but there is no reason why both types of relationship and everything in between has to be tricky in terms of the business end. I beleive you can have friends as customers - I have a few that were friends first, who used me because they trust me. But I was always very clear there will be times when I have my business head on - and they are in complete agreement that this is the way it needs to be sometimes.

Totally agree :thumbsup:

To different parents I am different things - some are friends even after their child has left, some have been much more of a business arrangement, others start like a business arrangement and turn into something closer. All kinds are fine with me as long as they pay and respect my family time too.

You get to know which will ask for their last penny in change and others who will say 'keep the change'! Ones who will collect child and say goodbye and those who will stop (and I will be willing) to chat. Ones who you have to explain everything to in detail and who worry about the slightest thing and ones who will take you at face value that their child is happy, learning and growing into a lovely well rounded child.

Never has a parent said they can't pay me - although I did get a cheque returned as it had been written by mum from a cancelled cheque book as dad cancelled it because he thought he had lost it :rolleyes: no probs getting the money though, didn't mind asking for what was mine and mum and dad were very embarrassed :laughing: The family have used me for 11 years though so good communication :)

kindredspirits
17-10-2011, 09:26 AM
in my experience, always start more professional than you need to be. Always make sure if you've got a parent who starts with a payment problem to be the professional first and friendly second. that way parents will soon learn that you are a business and you then will not need to be professional as your relationship develops.

I have a mindee who I have cared for for 2 years - mum always pays on time and if she doesn't then she explains what the issue is and asks if its ok - like she was being paid at the end of a long month and asked if I would accept the weeks fee's in 2 parts so I was getting paid for monday/tuesday/wednesday on the monday and the end of the week on thursday. because she ASKED I was fine.
This parent often needs to drop off early or is late collecting due to bad buses etc - I don't charge her any extra for these, and I know she appreciates that but knows not to cross the line.

On the other hand I had a parent who I had only had for a matter of weeks when she started messing around with payments, I asked nicely a few times and then got firm - which resulted in her giving notice. But at least I didn't have the stress of wondering if I was going to be paid that week or not. :thumbsup: had she been with me a while, or asked if it was ok to pay late rather than just telling me I might have been different.