PDA

View Full Version : Does anyone get housekeeping?



nipper
14-10-2011, 04:13 PM
This isn't related in the slightest to childminding, but I wanted to ask your opinions...
Do any of your husbands/oh's give you money towards the cost of everyday living i.e. housekeeping?
I'm just wondering as 'd' h pays the mortgage (which is expensive) and we both pay into a joint account, out of which comes all the bills. He has a set up with ex-w to pay monthly maintenance for his eldest two kids. I pay for food (which his eldest two -both teenagers- eat when they are with us at the weekends) which on a good week (when I stick to my lists) costs about £70-80, so dh doesn't give me any extra towards buying more food, but it gets eaten faster than normal.
I know the paying of the mortgage is important to keep the roof over our heads but I can't help but feel he is happy to eat the meals that I cook and then just get up and leave the table. I feel more like a restaurant owner than a wife. The mortgage happens once a month, but I have to go shopping weekly and more often if we run out of bread or milk. And with the cost of groceries being what it is.........I am totally broke now and really scratching my head as to what to do now. He's still giving me grief about not getting any full timers too...

blue bear
14-10-2011, 04:35 PM
Both our wages/money goes into the account , bills are paid food bought etc and anything left at end of month goes into savings, we budget from savings for clothes, holidays etc.

Never had his and hers accounts or shared out bills like you do and to be honest can't really understand why

PixiePetal
14-10-2011, 04:39 PM
husbands wage goes into joint account and covers most things, my earnings either go in joint account if we are on a tight month or into my own account for the extras or to transfer to joint if needed. He has his own account too but doesn't use it much.

food goes from joint account - really all the money is for the whole family we just shuffle it about a bit. If shopping bill is high, I use joint account money (his wages as such) but might put next week of mine into joint account to compensate.

If your money does not cover the food bill - and at prices these days I can quite believe it :mad: I would have a word -he may not realise just how much stuff costs

all money wherever it is banked, is for the family - my account may not have quite enough for my tax in Jan so will use some from joint account.

bit of a chat needed, I feel :)

jelly15
14-10-2011, 04:40 PM
DH and I are both self employed and other than seperate business accounts all others are joint. All profits are paid into joint account and all bills inc mortgage are direct debit, then we uses them as and when we need to i.e. shopping, cash withdrawls etc. DH earns more than me but we never argue over money, probably as there is not a lot of it(we do row over everything else though).

WibbleWobble
14-10-2011, 04:44 PM
we have separate bank accounts ( i had a joint one with my ex h and he spent money like it was goin out of fashion.....we had a £300 a month mortgage earned £60 grand a year between us and we WERE STILL BROKE- now knoe he was feathering his love nest - and breathe)

but when i was a SAHM/general layabout/lady who lunches - phil (who was my bf at the time) would give me enough for the shopping. He payed everything else.

Now i pay all the bills and food and we use his money for extras and to pay off our debts...in 12 m onths we will be debt free!!!

i can access his account and i use his card when i need to....

DD1 (his step daughter) has needed major financial help recently and he has sent her money regularly. as he says - its all from the same pot



mandyxx

Velleity
14-10-2011, 04:45 PM
I do all my food shopping from Ocado and it justs takes the money out of his account :D

WibbleWobble
14-10-2011, 04:47 PM
I do all my food shopping from Ocado and it justs takes the money out of his account :D


ooh love your style!

my oh buys craft stuff sometimes...........:rolleyes:

FussyElmo
14-10-2011, 04:49 PM
Dhs pays out of his account the mortage, insurances, his loan, car loan, credit cards, mobiles, sky. Out of my account I pay shopping, petrol, council tax, gas, electric, and water.

But we top each other up so if Im short he helps out and vice versa :thumbsup:

miss mopple
14-10-2011, 05:18 PM
We bank separately. Always have and always will :thumbsup:

DH pays for the mortgage and the household bills, car loan, council tax etc and puts money aside for our holiday

I pay for all the food and the running of the kids- their clothes, school trips, clubs etc

If one of us is short the other chips in. Works for us :)

Roseolivia
14-10-2011, 05:36 PM
We have seperate bank accounts, i'm not on the mortgage as when we built the house we had no kids,That suits me, maybe one day we will change it. Partner pays all mortgage, bills, my car and gives me £100 per week for food. I only have 1 schoolie so money from her, tax credit and child benefit pays for my petrol, car insurance, credit card, and everything for the kids. My partner has never paid for anything for the kids, he wouldn't know how much nappies or formula is.

AliceK
14-10-2011, 05:43 PM
Yes I get housekeeping, I get ALL of OH's wages. I am in charge of all money and budgeting in our house. I have OH's bank card and I allocate and spend the money however it needs spending. OH is useless with money and after problems we had a few years ago this was his idea. If he wants to buy something he is welcome to but he never really does. He's very low maintenance :)

xxx

nikki thomson
14-10-2011, 06:01 PM
Hi, well as I say what is his is mine and
what is mine is mine, lol.
We have a joint account now we never did before we had kids but now I don't earn that much and my husband is in the army so goes away alot for long periods of time so it was just easier for us to have a joint account.
With regards to getting a full timer tell him to wind his neck in, lol. X

bekki0405
14-10-2011, 06:02 PM
Yes I get housekeeping, I get ALL of OH's wages. I am in charge of all money and budgeting in our house. I have OH's bank card and I allocate and spend the money however it needs spending. OH is useless with money and after problems we had a few years ago this was his idea. If he wants to buy something he is welcome to but he never really does. He's very low maintenance :)

xxx

Me too :laughing:

funemnx
14-10-2011, 06:08 PM
DH and I have separate accounts - he pays mortgage and all household bills - I pay food, holidays, Christmas and Birthdays, plus all my business-related expenses, run my car and any additional costs of the boys (adults now but 1 in uni and 1 at home and 2 with families of their own so no need to help them out too often)

We've been together 10 years and this arrangement works very well for us - we've both had previous partners who were really useless with money.....

mandy moo
14-10-2011, 06:48 PM
We bank separately. Always have and always will :thumbsup:

DH pays for the mortgage and the household bills, car loan, council tax etc and puts money aside for our holiday

I pay for all the food and the running of the kids- their clothes, school trips, clubs etc

If one of us is short the other chips in. Works for us :)

Same hear almost, DH pays all our Household bills, I pay for the running of our kids, my tax & NI, NCMA & Ofsted fees and my car insurance etc oh and I pay the Milkman..lol

uf353432
14-10-2011, 07:13 PM
We have joint accounts and all our money goes into a big pot and we spend accordingly.

Noodles
14-10-2011, 08:55 PM
We have a joint account and all money goes into the account and pays for whatever is needed.

I have never understood people who keep their money seperate we are a family so it doesnt matter whos money pays for what.

merry
14-10-2011, 10:50 PM
We have a joint account and all money goes into the account and pays for whatever is needed.

I have never understood people who keep their money seperate we are a family so it doesnt matter whos money pays for what.

Same here.

:)

time_4_change
14-10-2011, 11:16 PM
Yes I get housekeeping, I get ALL of OH's wages. I am in charge of all money and budgeting in our house. I have OH's bank card and I allocate and spend the money however it needs spending. OH is useless with money and after problems we had a few years ago this was his idea. If he wants to buy something he is welcome to but he never really does. He's very low maintenance :)

xxx

This sounds just like me and my husband. All the money goes in one pot, ALL the bills/food get paid and usually there is nothing left over :laughing: - we argue about not having any money, not over who pays what :laughing:
It works for us ... although I did tell hubby jokingly that I was keeping what I earned from minding, for myself and our children - nothing for him hahaha :D

amanda1309
15-10-2011, 12:06 AM
We have a joint account and all money goes into the account and pays for whatever is needed.

I have never understood people who keep their money seperate we are a family so it doesnt matter whos money pays for what.

Same here.

mrs robbie williams
15-10-2011, 07:05 AM
we have separate accounts, i dont really earn alot but mine pays a 2nd mortgage we have, tv licence, car insurance and a couple of other small bits. dh pays everything else and gives me £300 every friday for food shopping, stuff for the kids (although he buys their clothes), petrol and everyday bits and bobs :thumbsup:

Sunflowers
15-10-2011, 10:25 AM
We have 3 joint accounts set up,
1 called Holding, 1 Cash and 1 Bills
All of our earnings goes into the Holding account (What I take as my wages, tax credits, child benefits and his wages)
at the start of the month I move what's needed into the Bills account, that does what it says pays all the monthly bills.
Into the Cash account I move our montly grocery, prescription, fuel money
anything left over stays in the holding account so we are clear what "fun" money we have

and its WE we are joined as a couple, I'm raising his child, I cook his meals, I do the laundry, he works hard 5.5 days a week, I'm currently only really doing part time hours minding. but we BOTH work ****** hard so all the money goes in one pot everything is paid and covered. some gets held back just in case (I know my minimum earnings so that we can pay all bills and eat, I keep that amount in the holing AC just in case)

Oh and don;t think this makes me good with money, we've only been doing this for the last year or so as separatly we are both disasterous with money lol but so far so good and the left overs in the holding account for the next couple months should pave a decent Xmas :D

time_4_change
15-10-2011, 10:50 AM
We have 3 joint accounts set up,
1 called Holding, 1 Cash and 1 Bills
All of our earnings goes into the Holding account (What I take as my wages, tax credits, child benefits and his wages)
at the start of the month I move what's needed into the Bills account, that does what it says pays all the monthly bills.
Into the Cash account I move our montly grocery, prescription, fuel money
anything left over stays in the holding account so we are clear what "fun" money we have

and its WE we are joined as a couple, I'm raising his child, I cook his meals, I do the laundry, he works hard 5.5 days a week, I'm currently only really doing part time hours minding. but we BOTH work ****** hard so all the money goes in one pot everything is paid and covered. some gets held back just in case (I know my minimum earnings so that we can pay all bills and eat, I keep that amount in the holing AC just in case)

Oh and don;t think this makes me good with money, we've only been doing this for the last year or so as separatly we are both disasterous with money lol but so far so good and the left overs in the holding account for the next couple months should pave a decent Xmas :D

I really like this idea of different accounts for different things, at the mo we have 1 joint account that has everything paid into it and everything paid out. I am setting up a 'basic' acocunt just for for my childminding business but might set up a 2nd joint account for any leftover/emergancy money!

Sunflowers
15-10-2011, 11:44 AM
Oh I also have a separate Minind account that all my parents pay their fee's into and any minding related monies go out of, thats why I kinda pay myself a wage so I know I have some funds in the minding account... esp as I've only recently started so still sorting out the whole tax/ NI thing what to make sure I have pennies for it when it catches up lol

the 3 accoutns work really well, both me and DH have a card for the cash account but not the others. so we both know the other can see what's been spent etc. I know I can draw £70 at the start of each week for food etc
he knows he can spend £20 a week on fuel and £15 a week on lunch at work (I'm just not organised enough to do pack ups lol)

and getting to the end of the month with monies in the holding account... generally means a decent dinner out at least :D

LOOPYLISA
15-10-2011, 01:58 PM
Same hear almost, DH pays all our Household bills, I pay for the running of our kids, my tax & NI, NCMA & Ofsted fees and my car insurance etc oh and I pay the Milkman..lol

I pay the window cleaner :laughing:

caz3007
15-10-2011, 05:24 PM
I deal with all the money. My hubby doesnt have a clue.

His wages go into the current account along with our bit of tax credits and that covers all the bills including the mortgage and the food, with nothing left. The child benefit goes into a savings account and I try not to touch it, but it pays for DS swimming and then goes towards holidays (we camp, so cheap and cheerful)

I mainly get paid in cash and that pays for petrol, all the odd bits the school always wants and everything else. I was finding we were getting through silly amounts with nothing to show for it, so am now trying to pay some into our savings, but it will get used if need be.

Hubby and I both do what we want, he goes to watch the local football team and I do a course thats for me, and then as a family we spend out on bits and peices and that comes out of my money.

But I will add all our money is joint, hubby has what he wants and so do I, obviously within reason as there isnt a lot in the pot for extras.

Chimps Childminding
15-10-2011, 09:45 PM
All of our money goes into our joint accounts. Most of our wages go into one current account which all the bills/direct debits come out of, and one lot of my money paid via voucher scheme gets paid in to our other joint account which we use for Christmas/Holidays etc.

Never had seperate accounts I woudl find it too confusing trying to sort out who pays for what :huh:

Pinkrose
15-10-2011, 10:08 PM
All our money goes into joint account, it makes everything easier I personally don't like the idea of seperate accounts but everyone is different and you have to do what is best for you x

janminder
15-10-2011, 10:23 PM
Hubby and I have separate accounts and share the bills out of these. Hubby does family food shopping and I do childminding. If either of us needed money we know we can ask each other, though its normally me asking him for money to pay a bill I don't have the money for and he just gets it for me. :)

ChocolateChip
16-10-2011, 01:09 AM
We have a joint account where oh's wages gets paid in, plus tc's, child benefit and whatever I can afford to put in on a standing order (before cm my wages would go in here aswell).
Most of our bills are monthly dd so they all come out of here, plus a small amount of pocket money which goes to each of our seperate accounts, so we can each buy treats or pressies.
I also have a cm account as I like to keep money back for tax etc, when I am flush I will pay for food, petrol, clothes and trips etc for our children as well as all the cm stuff but if it's a bit tight I will fall back on the joint account.
(like after our holiday when I spent nearly £400 on food, and days out in a week :eek: )

Op, I would just try to have a chat with your hubby about how prices have gone up, if he's not prepared to help out then I would make a point by only having 'budget' food in the house, and doing a few cheap meals and see if he notices!
Also how old are the children- I would get them and hubby onto a chores rota ;)

angiemog
16-10-2011, 07:22 AM
All our money goes into 2 separate joint acccounts. 'My' accounts pays for all the bills except mortgage and credit card. 'DH' acc pays for mortgage and credit card. We switch money between both if needed. We also have a joint savings account. The only agreement we have is at Christmas/birthdays we don't check the credit card statement so we don't spoil any surprises.
However this arrangement ONLY works if you trust each other when it comes to money. I had a friend we were talking about a similiar situation, I couldn't understand why couples would have separate accounts and keep all their money separate. She said with her ex he would take ALL the money and not leave anything for bills or food. It was the only way she could keep the roof over their heads. So I do understand why this would need to happen. I would never dream of buying anything more than £30/£40 without running it by my husband. He would never say no, but it's out of respect. My DH NEVER buys anything, occasionally he may pick up a DVD when we are shopping but will only buy it if I suggest it. I am extremely lucky I know that we have trust when it comes to money. I am VERY ANTI DEBT due to seeing family and friends lose houses..........I learnt from a very young age that I would avoid it. Now I have gone off subject slightly.......but I think it's all part of it.

flowerpots
16-10-2011, 07:59 AM
:) At the moment we have seperate accounts, dp pays car ins for us both, petrol for us both, debt for us both, and wedding. I pay for rent, council tax, food, kids, and anythng else.

Were getting married next year so after that we will have a joint account and everything will be pauid from the one account. :)