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View Full Version : What can I do if mum won't do anything??



buzzy bee
13-10-2011, 12:20 PM
You might have seen my other post - one of my mindees (nearly 2) walks very stiffly and seems uncontrolled and unbalanced, his arms stiffen up too and fly around, and I'm really quite concerned (due to a couple of other symptoms aswell) that it might even be cerebral palsy.

I tried talking to mum - played it down a bit and just said I'd noticed his walking was a bit stiff and suggested she took him to the doc... she said she thought he was doing it to be funny.

Today she said to me that she'd noticed it but she thinks it's just excitement, and she'll keep an eye on it.

It didn't sound like she was planning to take him the doctors, so I said again, "I'd still take him to the docs, just for peace of mind".

I don't really know what to do. I am worried about him to the point that I've been crying most evenings because I think there could be something seriously wrong. But what can I do if mum doesn't think there's a problem?

candy cat
13-10-2011, 12:35 PM
you note down all your discussions, concerns and put in folder....thats all you can do really.

Wendybird
13-10-2011, 01:29 PM
I think I'd say more, you aren't trying to scare, but you are going to note that you have spoken to her. She may not realise how serious the implications could be.

The Juggler
13-10-2011, 03:47 PM
you could maybe tell her he is tripping up all the time because of this and you are afraid child will bang head seriously at some point?

keep a note of the conversations but don't let it drop. she's said she'll keep an eye on it so ask her again in a week or so and if she brushes it off, tell her it is happening a lot with you and you really would advise her just to get it checked out.

There's not much more you can do hon at this point. You could take anon advice from an HV. However, you won't be able to say his name or hers so she/he won't be able to follow it up - only advise you. :(

I would say though, now you have planted the seed in mum's mind, it will play on her thoughts and she wil watch and notice it more and more. I hope so

Helen79
13-10-2011, 04:16 PM
You can speak to his hv in confidentiality, you can mention his name if you feel that mum is neglecting is medical needs, just the same as you would if you were phoning ss with concerns about a child. You don't have to discuss the child with the hv, just tell her about your concerns and she will do whatever she feels necessary.

He'll be due his 2 year old check up so if hv is aware that there's concerns about his development she might be able to bring his appt forward, obv without telling mum that you've spoken to her about it.

buzzy bee
13-10-2011, 06:00 PM
You can speak to his hv in confidentiality, you can mention his name if you feel that mum is neglecting is medical needs, just the same as you would if you were phoning ss with concerns about a child. You don't have to discuss the child with the hv, just tell her about your concerns and she will do whatever she feels necessary.

He'll be due his 2 year old check up so if hv is aware that there's concerns about his development she might be able to bring his appt forward, obv without telling mum that you've spoken to her about it.

Thanks... I might do that if mum does nothing... I just worry that the HV might accidentally slip up and let on I've spoken to her - would hate mum to find out.

She is a great mum and I get on really well with her. I don't think she's neglecting his needs necessarily but maybe she's used to how he walks and is perhaps trying not to see it cos maybe she's a bit in denial.

VeggieSausage
13-10-2011, 08:14 PM
What about doing a six week observation and see if there is any progress on this, you then have evidence if you like to back up speaking to mum - then approach mum again and say that you are required as part of your job as an Ofsted registered minder to advise parents that you have a few concerns over their physical development and say that you have to signpost them to their health visitor and that you are required to make a note of this in your medical folder....