Separation anxiety help please

[rosebud]

Hi All

I have siblings (2.5years & 10months) starting on monday and have done two 1 hour settling in sessions this week. The baby has screamed throughout both sessions because he wants his mummy, I tried distracting him with toys, by singing, even taking him outside but in the end just had to cuddle him whilst he cried. Mum says he's quite clingy usually so I am trying to prepare myself for monday and to have some strategies in place. He has a dummy and I have asked her to bring a couple of toys from home and something that smells of her to try and comfort him. They will be here for 7 hours mon - weds but I will only have the two of them for most of that time. All ideas gratefully received please.

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
Poor you! I would do as you have re comfort items etc and be very thorough about little ones routine - get as much info from Mum as you can - and think about how you can adapt it to your setting and daily routine. I find that most little ones will feel better once in a routine that they can anticipate, so although it will all be very strange for him, this way you can still make him feel secure. Hopefully LO will sleep for chunks of time to give you and the older sibling time to bond and play! I'd get out and about too - provide different environments to keep LO's attention and hopefully learn more about where/ what calms him.
I would be giving myself a time limit on the screaming too: have you got a settling in period?

Good luck :thumbsup:

Bets wishes,
Wendy :)

[miffy]

Favourite toys and something that has mum's scent on are good ideas.

Have you asked mum how she comforts baby when he is upset - sometimes just being held the same way can help.

I sometimes put them in the buggy at the side of me and just talk to them - then you're not invading their space but they can still interact with you. If you can do an activity with the older sibling and have baby close by then that might also reassure him and maybe interest him enough to stop crying and watch.

I feel for you, 10 months is a hard age for babies to be parted from mum.

Good luck on Monday

Miffy xx

[rosebud]

Thanks for the ideas. My settling in period is 4 weeks but I don't really mind the screaming - its very loud but not the high pitched kind that goes right through you! I just felt really sorry for him and wanted to make him feel better but couldn't. I will do as you've suggested and hopefully once he starts to trust me he'll be ok.
I agree that 10 months is a hard age for mum and babies to be parted - in fact I think its about the worst age and now that maternity leave is 9 months we seem to get more and more at that age - sad really.

[The Juggler]

good advice set up. I would also do as much meal and activity prep as you can before they come, that way if you need to just sit really close on the floor for much of the day or carry baby then you won't have to put him down too much to do other things.

Maybe keep a flask of tea made so you can just pour it when needed :thumbsup:

[Nature'sKids!]

Cuddles cuddles and more cuddles. Baby might still cry but the more you hold and comfort him the quicker he will realise he can trust you.
Good luck x

[The Juggler]

good advice set up. I would also do as much meal and activity prep as you can before they come, that way if you need to just sit really close on the floor for much of the day or carry baby then you won't have to put him down too much to do other things.

Maybe keep a flask of tea made so you can just pour it when needed :thumbsup:

that SHOULD read, good advice already. :blush: