View Full Version : Untrue complaint

07-10-2011, 06:55 AM
Hi All

Had a bit of a run in with a parent last night over something that was totally untrue. The basics of it was she came into my house at collection time and started abusing me verbally in front of her own child and another mindee over something that was unfounded. She terminated contracts with immediate effect. I don't need to go into details but it was so untrue it was laughable. She also changed her story when she spoke to my registered assistant.

My question's are as follows:

1) I have notified Ofsted of what actually happened as well as asked my witness to write a witness statement as they witnessed this all and a previous verbal attack from her. This is because she advised she was making a formal complaint. She is basically very opininated and I disagreed with something to do with my own child (basically because it was something we had tried before and it had not worked - therefore I advised this but said I was open to other suggestions) and she took it as a personal insult. Sorry - but I know my child better than her. She then started to say I bullied her child and called him a xx on a daily basis - all totally untrue and indeed his daily diary says how happy he is with me, he can't wait to come and at weekends asks to come - hardly a bullied child! Do I need to do anything else re Ofsted? Also how do I log this as a complaint in my complaints file as it was verbal. Sorry have never had a complaint before from a parent.

2) I use NCMA contracts and I am their member. I am insured however through MM. She has stated she will not pay her 4 weeks notice pay. Bearing in mind that the contract at point 25 states if it is necessary to cease childminding immediately, payment must be made in lieu of notice. Therefore i feel I should chase her for payment. Any thoughts?

I personally feel that this has been a long time coming and that yesterday was engineered to terminate a contract without having to pay by making false allegations about me. I will fight this every step of the way in respect of false allegations as they are so untrue and I am so pleased I actually had a witness to all of this. I've worked very hard in my job and I am very proud of it and I will not let another individual ruin all I have achieved when it is so untrue. Had it been true thats another thing but it is not.

I think the thing that annoyed me the most was yesterday my husband left to go to Afgan. I've been very honest with parents and offered to not have their children on that day at no cost as I would clearly be upset (some even suggested this themselves). Or they could send their child but be appreciative that we were all saying goodbye in the morning and I was not going to be this all singing and all dancing childminder. She chose to send her child, played the sympathy card with me and then had a go cos I cried when my husband left! Apparently it was not fair on her child to be in a negative atmosphere - hello hence why I suggested no childcare yesterday.

She then sat outside my house for 15 minutes with her child laughing her head off (again witnessed by more than one person). Not bad for a child who left my house so distraught cos I apparently bully him and call him a xx!

Any advice would be greatly received.



07-10-2011, 07:03 AM
You need to write it all up including the history behind it.

You need to ask your assistant to write it up as well.

If you are insured with MM and have NCMA membership then you could ring both of the legal helplines for some balanced views about what to do next.

Definitely draw up the bill and post it so it requires a signature at the other end.

No texts, no facebook, no messages. Keep everything to written letters from now on.

I understand you don't need this at the moment with your hubs leaving it must be awful but try and stay focussed - you know it's lies so deal with it as dispassionately as you can.

Hugs x

07-10-2011, 07:09 AM
Think Sarah has covered all the advice so just to give you big hugs, some people are just to evil for this world!

07-10-2011, 07:21 AM
I agree that this seems like a made up complaint to not pay the notice as similar happened to me. Already had the money but they made complaint to try and get it back. Stick to your guns. Contact your insurer. Ofsted won't get involve in money matters and when thy discover this is the case the case will be closed. Your insurer may be needed however if she takes the matter further. Take her to small claims court but first write her a letter stating the amount owed and when it's due by. Send this recorded delivery so you have evidence you have sent her a reminder. Just mention that unpaid fees may result in the involvement of the small claims court. She may not have actually made a complaint to ofsted yet (this was the case in my situation, I informed them first) and may decide that it's not worth the hassle when you remind her how far it could go. Hth.

07-10-2011, 07:32 AM
I think sarahs covered the practical side honey , just wanted to send some huggies and say we are here if you feel like talking. It sounds very much to me like she deliberately waited til hubby was out of the country so she didnt have him to back you up also!
Hope youre ok x

Carol M
07-10-2011, 07:47 AM
I agree with Sarah, try and keep it on a professional footing from now, even tho it feels like such a personal attack.
You have obviously had issues with this parent before, good for you for logging that, and you have a witness to this attack. What a totally dispicable parent, she will get her come uppance!
Hugs to you at this emotional time.
Carol xx

07-10-2011, 09:22 AM
As Sarah said!...Also sending hugs x

07-10-2011, 11:13 AM
Sounds like a nasty:angry: to me.

07-10-2011, 11:23 AM
Just wanted to send you love. What a horrible woman she must be. I don't have any other practical advice except to say to take care of yourself. Try not to stress about it.

Big hugs and love to you xx

07-10-2011, 11:46 AM
What an awful experience for you, hope it's all sorted out very soon.

07-10-2011, 12:19 PM
I would also when you send the invoice to her attach a copy of your complaints procedure in case she didn;t retain it when she signed up. It will ensure that you mean business and are highly professional. I'm sure the underlying 'bring it on' message will feel quite satisfying when you post it as well - chin up xx

07-10-2011, 12:28 PM
Just sending you my best wishes, hope you are able to get this unpleasant matter sorted very soon. This parent sounds like a right :censored: Remember, what goes around comes around. Take care :thumbsup:

07-10-2011, 12:33 PM
Sorry to hear about your dilema. Ofsted will soon set her straight if she tries to complain to them about money.

I always take a 4 weeks fees Deposit and hold it until the end of the Contract so I am covered for the notice period. It also gives a buffer if i have a non payer.

07-10-2011, 01:30 PM
Hope it sorted out quickly doesnt sound like a nice woman at all

07-10-2011, 04:56 PM
something similar happened to me a year ago, do everything Sarah says and keep meticulous records, sending you lots of hugs cos some people are just vindictive and malicious but Ofsted do understand thisxxx

07-10-2011, 05:02 PM
Thanks all.

Well went to pick kids up from school today (she has got a friend to pick up) but she had been to see the head today and basically her story changed again and she was asking the head what she should do. The head backed my corner as she knows me as a parent and in a professional capactity and knew that her allegations were not something I would do. Also apparently her child has poison in his food when here (yes a grown woman said this) and of course the head had to mention well her child seems perfectly fine in school, as do my children and all my mindees! Head was very concerned about me given the fact that my husband has just gone away and she wanted to know if there was anything she could do. Its nice to know that not everyone believes anothers vile lies!

I had to laugh though, she asked for an after school place for said child (what I thought she was after cos she kept mentioning it to me as did child) and low and behold the head refused as no places! :laughing: She is now stuck for childcare.

Now to just wait and see what Ofsted have to say on the matter. Im giving her the weekend for payment and if none received I will be calling MM and NCMA on Monday which is my day off and chasing this.

Thank you all so much


07-10-2011, 06:42 PM
We have had good success with the following website:
it is basically an online small claims court process, you pay a small amount to file a claim, but they add it to the persons debt and we very quickly got our money paid up.
It may not work if they already have county court judgements against them as it is unlikely to worry them to get a bad credit rating, having said that, a lot of people just want to try it on and think you wont chase them.
Good Luck xx

07-10-2011, 06:56 PM
I am very sorry to say i think this nasty piece of work deliberately picked the time your DH went away to do this to you.

She reckoned you would be too low and vulnerable to fight for the money owed to you. :mad: Well you show her how wrong one can be :angry:

She also sounds slightly demented, Poison for goodness sake :panic:

07-10-2011, 07:34 PM
I am very sorry to say i think this nasty piece of work deliberately picked the time your DH went away to do this to you.

She reckoned you would be too low and vulnerable to fight for the money owed to you. :mad: Well you show her how wrong one can be :angry:

She also sounds slightly demented, Poison for goodness sake :panic:

True, that woman has a hinge or two loose somewhere :rolleyes:

07-10-2011, 07:47 PM
Oh :eek: sorry to heard that, hope that everything will be fine, sending you loads of hugs and keep strong xoxo:group hug: :group hug:

07-10-2011, 08:12 PM
Didn't want to read and run.

What a horrible person she is! It's great to hear that the head didn't believe her and took your side though.

07-10-2011, 09:39 PM
Nasty peice of work, good on you for not letting this evil woman get away with it.

07-10-2011, 10:22 PM
Ive had someone threaten to report me to Ofsted, basically because they didnt want to pay monies owed and I pointed her out to other childminders and said dont take her on, cos she will rip you off. I phoned Ofsted for advice - they said they would have to investigate whatever she was claiming (I never did find out what she was going to say about me!!!), but if I had nothing to hide then I had nothing to worry about - which is exactly the same thing Im going to say to you! Chill out - Ofsted arent stupid, they know what they're looking for. Shes probably just trying to put the frightners on you anyway. I told my potential complainer that Ofsted were welcome in my setting any time they liked. Funnily enough - she didnt "complain". (She didnt pay either, but that is another story!!!).


The Juggler
08-10-2011, 02:09 PM
oh honey what a horrible experience. big hugs. lots of good advice given already. I have to say when I read the poison in his food bit I did think that thsi woman might have a mental health issue - that is slightly out the scale of reality - does she have a history that you know of.

who knows what sort of things she comes out with infront of her child :panic: hopefully the head will have picked up on this and alerted any relevant agencies :panic:

20-10-2011, 05:50 PM
Hi All
Just wanted to update you all. Ofsted made an unannounced visit to check up on the allegations made against me. The inspector was really nice, went through it all with me (once again allegations had changed) and could see it was all a load of rubbish and said I'd get a letter in about a week confirming this - as would the person who made the complaint. I showed him all the stuff I had received, all the parent letters I've had in support and testimonials and he was really impressed with these.
Thank you for all your support - pleased they have been and gone and that I can hold my head up high.

20-10-2011, 06:05 PM
phew! :clapping:

Thank goodness that's over. Must be such a relief :)

best wishes,
Wendy :)

20-10-2011, 07:48 PM
That is good news - glad Ofsted dealt with it quite quickly too! x

21-10-2011, 05:09 AM
Didn't want to read and run.

I'm glad that this has all been sorted out now, bar the money side of things, hopefully either NCMA or MM will help you sort that all out.

Everything seems to happen when our husbands go to the sandpit doesn't it? I had a similar thing happen when my OH went there earlier this year, another wife made an allegation about me having too many children, it was all disproved fairly quickly, but on top of OH going and dealing with your's and your children's feelings it all seems 100 times worse.

I hope your unit is being supportive and that you have good welfare cover, and if you ever need a rant, my inbox is always open to you.

Chin up, Chick x

21-10-2011, 01:34 PM
So glad its all been sorted for you

Some parents are worse behaved then the children dont understand why some people are so evil