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fatima
16-09-2011, 05:48 PM
Hi Guys
With most of you with years of experience, Need some advice for a friend of mine, she is having trouble with her 3 and half year old he will only poo in a nappy at bedtime, his nappy in the morning is a bit dry, but the problem she has he want go on a pot or toilet for her she drops him off in school at 11 pick up at 3 and still not been to toilet she wil strip him and he will go outside or the garage and has to be on his own to pee. He has said he is scared of the toilet i have seen him first had and he is absolutely scared, SHe had even tried aiming for the ping pong ball in the toilet and even a but a rind in there and told him to see if he can aim through the hole not interested any help guys or even anyone of you been through this much appreciated any help, mum is getting very worried.

Helen79
16-09-2011, 07:55 PM
my ds is terrified of standing up at the loo so he still sits down to wee.

The pooing in the nappy at bedtime is quiet common for children who are scared of the toilet so maybe ignore this for now and concentrate on his fear of the loo and once he's happy to wee on the toilet, then tackle the bedtime nappy issue.

I would stick to either trying to get him to go on the toilet or the potty instead of both. Give him the choice of what he's more comfortable with and work from there. Could he go to the shop and buy a new potty that he can decorate with stickers, then have a sticker chart and a potty buddy teddy who sits with him when he goes if he needs to be by himself.
I wouldn't give him the option to wee outside, if he's not ready for the loo then I'd put him back in training pants til he's ready, even though it's a hard one as he sounds physically ready, just not emotionally.

fatima
16-09-2011, 08:22 PM
my ds is terrified of standing up at the loo so he still sits down to wee.

The pooing in the nappy at bedtime is quiet common for children who are scared of the toilet so maybe ignore this for now and concentrate on his fear of the loo and once he's happy to wee on the toilet, then tackle the bedtime nappy issue.

I would stick to either trying to get him to go on the toilet or the potty instead of both. Give him the choice of what he's more comfortable with and work from there. Could he go to the shop and buy a new potty that he can decorate with stickers, then have a sticker chart and a potty buddy teddy who sits with him when he goes if he needs to be by himself.
I wouldn't give him the option to wee outside, if he's not ready for the loo then I'd put him back in training pants til he's ready, even though it's a hard one as he sounds physically ready, just not emotionally.
Hi Helen
Thanks for the advice but mum has done what you have suggested the problem is she can't have him in training pants in the day as he is in school and it's the school policy not too have them in nappies when he in school this is primary school not nursery

Helen79
16-09-2011, 08:45 PM
Hi Helen
Thanks for the advice but mum has done what you have suggested the problem is she can't have him in training pants in the day as he is in school and it's the school policy not too have them in nappies when he in school this is primary school not nursery

How are the school supporting mum? If he's managing to hold it in all afternoon without accidents at school then he's definitely physically ready.
I wouldn't strip him off and let him wee in the garden. When he comes home, keep his clothes on and get into a new routine of maybe home time, toilet, then snack, tv etc to hopefully get him into a new routine of going to the toilet.

Does he use the potty in the garage or does he just wee in the garden? If he's using the potty in the garage then I'd maybe just leave him to it and gradually encourage him to use it in the bathroom instead.
Would he be happy with training pants at home, if he's managing to hold it at school it doesn't sound like he needs them there but it sounds like he's not emotionally ready to use the toilet so it would take the pressure off him having to keep trying and then let him start when he's feeling more ready.
It might seem like step backwards but holding it in may cause more problems and infection.

One thing I tried with ds was getting a bath squirty toy and letting him squirt it into the potty and toilet so he could see what happens when he wees.
We also have a potty fairy here who brings a small treat at the end of a whole week of using the potty.