Advise on after school Fussy Eater

[Bernie]

Hi,

For those of you who provide evening meals.

I have on average 5 for tea every night. I try and make meals that I know they will all eat, however I have one 8yr old who is VERY fussy. Will only eat plain pasta, dry bread, no fruit etc etc. In the past I have catered for him because he only stayed every now and then but he is now staying on a regular basis. I don't force anybody to eat anything but he even refuses to try.

Am I fair in saying to his mum that I will only be making one dinner every night and if he doesn't like it then he needs to eat at home?

I am concerned because we eat very early (4 o'clock) so I don't provide snack after school, but if he doesn't eat with me he won't have anything until 6.30 at the earliest which is unfair on him.

If I did provide him with a snack, I'm not sure he would like my options either because I only offer healthy snacks (fruit, veg sticks etc).

I feel really mean because at the end of the day, it only takes minimal effort to make a small bowl of plain pasta, but I also have to be fair on the other children. Argh!!!!!

:panic: :panic: :panic: :panic:

[Helen79]

as frustrating as it is when kids don't eat what you cook them, I've started to relax about it a bit.
If I had to go to someone else's house 3 days a week for dinner and they always cooked food that I didn't like then I'd end up hungry and upset that they didn't take my wishes into account when cooking.

I would offer a snack about half 3 when they get in from school and then a later dinner about 5.
Young boys need a lot of energy especially after a day at school so it's ok to give them things like toast, toasted teacakes and muffins, crackers, scones, flapjacks as well as fruit for a snack.

Maybe cook him a small bowl of pasta and serve it along side his main meal or have a bowl of bread in the middle of the table and limit it to 1 roll with his dinner and keep offering him really small portions of your meals.

[QualityCare]

I agree offer what he likes alongside a small portion of what the others are eating.
I feel 4.00 is a bit early for an 8yr to have a cooked meal he might not be hungry, what time and what does he eat at school.
My after schools have snack at 4.30 and main meal at home they are 4 and 5yrs and picked up 5.30.
What does mum feed him on at home for main meal.

[blue bear]

Is he eating a limited diet all the time or us he just being fussy at yours.
Personally I'd aim for a pasta meal for everyone twice a week and offer bread with all other meals so he can choose something he does like. On the days where it's not pasta I'd make sure it's yogurt for afters.

Talk to mum about what he eats at home and the portion sizes.

If no one ever offers him anything different he's going to be stuck in a rut of limited meals which will limit his socialising as he gets older. Saw one chap on freaky eaters that only ate chips and beans, really changed his life when he started eating more normally.

[miffy]

I agree with making sure there's one thing on his plate that he likes and keep encouraging him to try other things too.

I'd also talk to mum and ask her to make a list of the things he'll eat at home then you can see if you can adapt for the other children too.

If all else fails I'd ask mum to provide him with a packed tea

Miffy xx

[marleymoo]

maybe it's time to consider changing your menu? ask all kids what they like, find any they all agree on and go with that. if he likes plain pasta, give all kids a bowl of plain pasta but put the sauce in a dish for kids to help themselves. likewise with veg etc. if he ends up with just the plain pasta, fine, but you put the choices there for him.