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View Full Version : Aargh, Parent changing her mind AGAIN!



JennyM
30-08-2011, 09:15 AM
One of my term time only Parents is always changing her mind, mainly because her Uni mess her around a bit but still. I always go out of my way to try and help her though.

Anyway, when I first took her on she was my only client. I used to drop her daughter home early for her and her son and daughter were at home to take her in. (aged 14 and 10)

I told her that if I took on more clients, I would have to stop dropping her home and she was fine with that. So, last week I emailed and said as I had a new client, I needed her to collect mindee from me. She said it was fine.

Then yesterday, she Emailed to say that she didn't think she would be able to get back on time and could I drop her child off at 4 as her son will be home.

I am not happy about this. I do my school pick up at 3.30pm and don't want to hang around until 4 to go to her house. What if the Son isn't there?

What would you do?

She is also asking if I could pick her two daughters up from her home in the morning and drop them at school and at nursery (two different places). What do you think I should charge for this? Would you do it?

Thanks for reading my ranty essay!!

snufflepuff
30-08-2011, 10:40 AM
I don't mean to sound harsh but I wouldn't have left a child in the care of a 14 year old, who actually is still a child themselves. So no I wouldn't be dropping mindee off at home. The only option is for Mum to pay for the extra hours to cover her until she can get to your house to collect mindee.

Mouse
30-08-2011, 10:46 AM
I don't mean to sound harsh but I wouldn't have left a child in the care of a 14 year old, who actually is still a child themselves. So no I wouldn't be dropping mindee off at home. The only option is for Mum to pay for the extra hours to cover her until she can get to your house to collect mindee.

I agree with that. I wouldn't hand care over to anyone who is under 16yrs of age. I'm not sure what/if there are regualtions coverning it, but I know it's the same for our school and nursery.

It sounds as if mum wants to use you as a glorified taxi service. Dropping off might have been OK when you had no other children, but it's not often practical once you have other mindees. It's not fair on them being carted wound, picking up & droppping off other children.

I wouldn't drop off at home at 4pm (because it sounds as if it won't fit in with your times and because of the age of the brother) and I certainly wouldn't pick both girls up in the morning to drop them at school & nursery. What if your car wasn't available for some reason? WHat if you had an enquiry for someone who wanted to drop off at the time you were out collecting these children around?

If you can afford to let the child go, I would tell mum you can no longer do the drop off and you won't do the pick up. She'll either have to get the girls to you earlier in the morning (that's if you want to do the morning drop off) and she'll have to pay for lo to stay with you until she can collect herself. If it doesn't suit her she can look elsewhere. If she agrees with it, then great.

rickysmiths
30-08-2011, 11:29 AM
I don't mean to sound harsh but I wouldn't have left a child in the care of a 14 year old, who actually is still a child themselves. So no I wouldn't be dropping mindee off at home. The only option is for Mum to pay for the extra hours to cover her until she can get to your house to collect mindee.

I agree. I have a Policy that I will not allow a child to go with an under 18yr old unless it is the parent.

JennyM
30-08-2011, 11:38 AM
I do see what you are saying. However, it is the Parents choice and I did check with the NCMA that legally it was ok when I first started the arrangement.

I am going to have to tell her that it isn't ok and that I would rather she collected her daughter from me, even if it is after hours. As for the morning pick up, I think I will only do it if she drops the girls to me first.

I can't see her agreeing to be honest and I would miss the money (and the little girl) if she decides to leave but I have to do what suits me, my family and other clients.

marleymoo
30-08-2011, 12:21 PM
if the parent has been happy for you to drop off child with 14 yr old sibling at home, could this child, by the same token, not pick up this child from your home? i expect the reason the NCMA are happy for the 14 yr old to have this child is because there's no actual legal age for babysitting - it dependson the maturity of the child. this 14 yr old may care for this child a lot in the parents absence and so his/her age may not be an issue. plus, of course, it has been the parent's express instruction so who are we to argue. i expect you will have the appropriate consent forms for this handover anyway.
i do think this parent is using you as a taxi service, which isn't really on because you're not actually getting paid anything for childcare and you run the risk of not being available to take on other children. would you consider doing it temporarily if the money was right? say, £10 pday to pick up and take to school/nursery. she will agree or find an alternative solution

JennyM
30-08-2011, 12:59 PM
Yes Marley, I get the impression that both he and his younger Sister do quite a bit of childcare and she, the Mum is happy to do this so as you say, who am I to argue.

I have sent this Email, what do you think?

Hi XX

Sorry for the delay, I have been thinking about the best way we can arrange this.

I am sorry but I am not going to be able to drop X off at your house as it is unfair on my other clients. I am already doing a school pick up at 3.30pm, so it would mean either hanging around in the car waiting until it is time to drop X home, or getting home from school pick up only to go straight out again to bring her home. It isn't fair on the other children to have to be in and out of the car all the time.

What time do you think you would make it back to my house to collect her? Perhaps we can sort out you picking her up later than 6pm.

As for the morning pick up/drop off. I am happy to take both X and X to school and nursery if you can bring them to my house first. Let me know what time you would drop them here at and we can sort out the fee.

I hope we can sort something out which works for everyone.

Thanks,
Jenny

marleymoo
30-08-2011, 01:11 PM
Yes Marley, I get the impression that both he and his younger Sister do quite a bit of childcare and she, the Mum is happy to do this so as you say, who am I to argue.

I have sent this Email, what do you think?

Hi XX

Sorry for the delay, I have been thinking about the best way we can arrange this.

I am sorry but I am not going to be able to drop X off at your house as it is unfair on my other clients. I am already doing a school pick up at 3.30pm, so it would mean either hanging around in the car waiting until it is time to drop X home, or getting home from school pick up only to go straight out again to bring her home. It isn't fair on the other children to have to be in and out of the car all the time.

What time do you think you would make it back to my house to collect her? Perhaps we can sort out you picking her up later than 6pm.

As for the morning pick up/drop off. I am happy to take both X and X to school and nursery if you can bring them to my house first. Let me know what time you would drop them here at and we can sort out the fee.

I hope we can sort something out which works for everyone.

Thanks,
Jenny

i would just leave these bits out as i don't see why you should feel you have to explain yourself (it's not convenient for you and that's that) and you shouldn't feel you have to work any later than you want to. leave any further negotiations until you see her to review contract.

JennyM
31-08-2011, 07:47 AM
She has replied to my Email saying, thanks but this won't work for me. I have found another childminder so thanks for everything and all the best.

I am gob smacked!

Mouse
31-08-2011, 07:55 AM
That's often the annoying thing - you bend over backwards trying to help some parents, then they ditch you at the drop of a hat.

See it as a positive though. Your spaces are now freed up for a family who will require straight forward childcare with no taxi service :thumbsup:

Just a thought, do yo have a notice period she needs to stick to? I would also send a letter confirming the end of the contract and reminding her that it is her responsibility to contact tax credits (if she is claiming) to tell them that she is no longer using you for childcare.

JCrakers
31-08-2011, 02:12 PM
Some people...:angry:
More fool the childminder who has agreed to the taxi-ing the kids around. I wouldnt do it

JennyM
31-08-2011, 03:05 PM
She signed a contract stating that she has to give me four weeks notice. I emailed her to remind her of this and she has ignored me.

I am going to send her a letter stating that our contract is terminated and keep a copy in my file. She will never agree to notice or paying me anything and I can't be bothered with the stress of court etc. She was due to start with me again in two weeks time so it's only £120ish that she owes me. I only had her child for 12 hours a week.

I am a bit hurt but also feel for her daughter who was really settled here and also feel sorry for my daughter who will miss her.

Hopefully, I will replace her with a child who needs more hours. These things happen for a reason!

marleymoo
31-08-2011, 06:24 PM
some parents are not as concerned about their own child's wellbeing as we are, unfortunately. we give a lot of careful consideration to settling in, transitions and continuity but look how easily a parent will remove them from us. incredible, it really is.
you may never see the money she owes you, i'm afraid and i entirely understand why you might prefer to let it go than to stress about small claims court etc. the lesson to be learned here is that we can be flexible and willing to help but always remain within the confines of what we really are happy to do. you will never be thanked or appreciated for doing more, it will just be expected of you.

JennyM
01-09-2011, 08:47 PM
You are so right marleymoo, I am learning and each time something like this happens, it toughens me up a bit more!

The Mum replied to my Email and is going to complete her notice period! I could faint! So a couple of uncomfortable weeks and I feel sorry for my daughter because she will get used to her being here again, only for her to leave but at least I will get my money.

marleymoo
02-09-2011, 04:59 PM
You are so right marleymoo, I am learning and each time something like this happens, it toughens me up a bit more!

The Mum replied to my Email and is going to complete her notice period! I could faint! So a couple of uncomfortable weeks and I feel sorry for my daughter because she will get used to her being here again, only for her to leave but at least I will get my money.

yay! just grin and bear the notice period hun and... your dd will soon forget this child. i must have had over 100 kids through my door in the past 7 years and neither i nor my son have missed a single one of them! this job really does toughen you up.

marleymoo
02-09-2011, 05:17 PM
You are so right marleymoo, I am learning and each time something like this happens, it toughens me up a bit more!

The Mum replied to my Email and is going to complete her notice period! I could faint! So a couple of uncomfortable weeks and I feel sorry for my daughter because she will get used to her being here again, only for her to leave but at least I will get my money.

yay! just grin and bear the notice period hun and... your dd will soon forget this child. i must have had over 100 kids through my door in the past 7 years and neither i nor my son have missed a single one of them! this job really does toughen you up.