Unreasonable parent

[lola71]

I luckily set up a 4 week trial with a new parent, have just finished week 3, she has been late every day, twice she just didn't turn up and has paid me late every week. Can I just tell her I'm not continuing now, wait till the 4 weeks are over, or do I have to give her time to find alternative childcare? Any advice would be really welcome, thanks.

[The Juggler]

it depends on your contract hon. did you have a notice free settling in period? if not you would need to give her 4 weeks notice.

However, if she is late with payments you are within your rights to withhold care if payments are not up to date for care you have provided. If you do this though you still need to uphold the notice period so that if she pays up to date during the 4 weeks she can then bring her child again until the end of the period.

Alternatively sit her down explain that from your side things are not going so well. She may not be aware of the impact of turning up late, tell her the impact it has on you and tell her that you would normally charge a fee for late pick ups. If she's late dropping off, tell her how that impacts on other children if you are waiting to go out.

Also tell her how its unfair not to know if LO is coming or not as you cannot plan what to do.

I'd lay down the law a bit (you've nothign to lose) and say from now on, LO comes on time, she collects on time, she calls you first thing if LO is not coming and late pick ups will incur a £x/half hour charge.:)

good luck

[Mamma4Ya]

I agree with The Juggler if you intend to continue make sure she understands the contract will need to be adhered to in future.

[lola71]

I didn't do a contract, I just stated that we would do a 4 week trial and if all went well we would do a contract, I had a feeling she would be awkward. I should have trusted my instincts, anyway thanks for the advice. I clearly stated that if for any reason after the 4 week trial it wasn't going to work out I wouldn't take her on, and I do think she has been very unreasonable. The timings, payments and 'rules' were agreed by her so she can't be surprised. Thanks again, I'll let you know what happens!

[The Juggler]

I didn't do a contract, I just stated that we would do a 4 week trial and if all went well we would do a contract, I had a feeling she would be awkward. I should have trusted my instincts, anyway thanks for the advice. I clearly stated that if for any reason after the 4 week trial it wasn't going to work out I wouldn't take her on, and I do think she has been very unreasonable. The timings, payments and 'rules' were agreed by her so she can't be surprised. Thanks again, I'll let you know what happens!

hon, just for future reference, never start working with a child without the contract in place. You don't have a leg to stand on in court if nothing has been agreed in a contract. I know contracts CAN be verbal but the terms agreed are hard to prove. If there is nothing to say what money/fees you agreed or when it was due it's hard to prove it was late.

Always put your 4 week trial period into your contract as a settling in period with no notice. I would never feel comfortable working without a contract for myself as well as the children:panic:

In this case though, as there is no contract I would say if you want to end it go with what you verbally agreed with her. As the trial is up and it's not workign for you I would tell her that (in a nice way of course). Personally I think that it could be as there is nothing in writing she doesn't understand her obligations to pay on time or the impact on you, regardless of them being what she wanted. :(

Good luck with finding someone else.

[blue bear]

I would be laying it on the line on Tuesday and saying what problems are as you see them and give her a chance to respond for the rest if the week and set up a contract then with a new settling no notice period but if no change then arangement will cease this Friday

Hope this makes sense, basically I'd give her a second chance but say thanks but no thanks if things continue as they are.

[marleymoo]

juggler's right, you should still have done a contract. there is a section for settling in. with there being nothing in writing, maybe she doesn't remember everything you agreed upon? i'd probably give her the benefit of the doubt but i would go through a contract with her now, even it's just to see how things settle in WITH a contract. she could end up being a gem of a parent. however, if your instincts tell you otherwise, then just bin her now, why wait until the 4 weeks is up? nothing is in writing afterall.

[Playmate]

I think you will also find your insurance is invalid without a contract :panic: good luck.

[singlewiththree]

I think you will also find your insurance is invalid without a contract :panic: good luck.

I always thought that too

[lola71]

Thanks for all that, she hasn't turned up again this morning, think I will cut ties now. In future I will draw up a contract with a 4 week trial period, no notice needed if things don't work out. Thanks again :)

[marleymoo]

Thanks for all that, she hasn't turned up again this morning, think I will cut ties now. In future I will draw up a contract with a 4 week trial period, no notice needed if things don't work out. Thanks again :)

this really would be the best thing to do. we live and learn don't we hun?

[The Juggler]

Thanks for all that, she hasn't turned up again this morning, think I will cut ties now. In future I will draw up a contract with a 4 week trial period, no notice needed if things don't work out. Thanks again :)

fingers crossed you find someone else soon hon x

[marleymoo]

Thanks for all that, she hasn't turned up again this morning, think I will cut ties now. In future I will draw up a contract with a 4 week trial period, no notice needed if things don't work out. Thanks again :)

you've made the right decision,x

[lola71]

Ended relationship, have since discovered I am the third childminder (that we know of) who this woman owes money to, she hasn't paid me for my last week. If one good thing has come out of this it is that I now know more childminders in my area and we are all keeping in touch so hopefully we can prevent anyone else going through this kind of thing. Live and learn though, instinct is a great voice that should be listened to :)

[marleymoo]

Ended relationship, have since discovered I am the third childminder (that we know of) who this woman owes money to, she hasn't paid me for my last week. If one good thing has come out of this it is that I now know more childminders in my area and we are all keeping in touch so hopefully we can prevent anyone else going through this kind of thing. Live and learn though, instinct is a great voice that should be listened to :)

i saw a wildlife documentary once. it said that humans are the only creatures that go with what they consider to be socially acceptable rather than to trust their instincts. instincts are pre-programmed into species to protect us from harm in our environment so why oh why do we keep subjecting ourselves to situations that upset us so much when all the warning signs were there?
it's great to see CMs working together in situations like this :thumbsup: