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snowqueenuk
02-08-2011, 09:06 PM
I have just taken on a new baby, she started yesterday and on both occasions her mum has turned up 15 mins early. Yesterday I put it down to being new and was a little embarrassed as I still had wet hair from the shower but mum didn't seem to mind; however she did exactly the same thing again this morning and arrived 15 mins early again only this time I got a sarcastic " OH you've got wet hair again"

Should I say something as she is starting to seriously piddle me off already?

Thanks

Pauline

mama2three
03-08-2011, 06:29 AM
Yes!
Or go a step further and dont answwer the door immediately - and after a few minutes answer it dripping in your dressing gown! Say sorry I was still in the shower , wasnt expecting you til.....

Seriously though you need to nip this in the bud. Ive grown to resent my 7am starter coming 5-10 mins early every day but I t has gone on for ages so its difficult to raise the issue. Your mindee is new - maybe give it til the end of the week and have a chat about how your week has gone ..and just a couple of small points you need to raise. If your happy to start a little earlier offer to change her contract if she needs it at an extra charge of course!

blue bear
03-08-2011, 06:34 AM
My newest mindee arrived 15 minutes early first two days, on collection just say sorry about me not being ready this morning but wasn't expecting you until x and then you can either remind her not to be early or re negotiate start times. Best to nip it in the bud now or it will niggle.

miffy
03-08-2011, 06:35 AM
I think you need to lay down your rules now - speak to mum and tell her you don't open until whatever time you agreed on the contract.

If she does it again, don't answer the door until her contract time starts - she will get the message but you may have to be blunt!

Miffy xx

flowerpots
03-08-2011, 06:37 AM
id raise it sooner rather than later hun, you will start to resent it quite quickly if you dont. Just mention it in passing. :)

Tink
03-08-2011, 06:40 AM
Definately nip it in the bud hun, if you let them take an inch it will turn into a mile. If she insists in coming 15 minutes early tell her you will charge her for the hour.

charleyfarley
03-08-2011, 06:41 AM
You really do need to say something sooner rather than later as it will continue to grate on you, I know from experience :rolleyes:

Carol xx

rickysmiths
03-08-2011, 06:44 AM
I always say when we sign contracts and agree times that they will be under review during the 4 weeks settling in.

This is because if a parent is starting work after 9-12 months off they may need to get used to journey times. If they feel they need 15mins extra in the morning then I would discuss this and change the Contracted hours accordingly.

If after the settiling in and any adjustments they still arrive early or late I wouldn't open the door before their start time and I would firmly apply late charges. I charge £15 for every 15 mins or part of 15 mins they are late.

You have to be fair but very firm.

angeldelight
03-08-2011, 06:48 AM
I had a parent that did this even when I stopped answering the door..... she used to send the child to look through my lounge window :laughing: :laughing:

Be honest and tell her she is flipping early :laughing:

Good luck

Angel xx

breezy
03-08-2011, 06:58 AM
I had a parent that did this even when I stopped answering the door..... she used to send the child to look through my lounge window :laughing: :laughing:

Be honest and tell her she is flipping early :laughing:

Good luck

Angel xx

my friend has this, she refuses to open the door and now leaves the curtains shut until 7am when she starts and not a second earlier :laughing:

angeldelight
03-08-2011, 06:58 AM
my friend has this, she refuses to open the door and now leaves the curtains shut until 7am when she starts and not a second earlier :laughing:

Its the only thing to do if they dont take the hint :laughing:

Angel xx

mama2three
03-08-2011, 07:09 AM
Im seroiusly thinking of getting parents to sign in their child on the register from sept.
Will put the digital clock next to it too so maybe if mum has to write down 6.50 a few times she will realise how often she is early!
Really wish i had nipped it in the bud tbh!

The Juggler
03-08-2011, 07:20 AM
I have just taken on a new baby, she started yesterday and on both occasions her mum has turned up 15 mins early. Yesterday I put it down to being new and was a little embarrassed as I still had wet hair from the shower but mum didn't seem to mind; however she did exactly the same thing again this morning and arrived 15 mins early again only this time I got a sarcastic " OH you've got wet hair again"

Should I say something as she is starting to seriously piddle me off already?

Thanks

Pauline

my reply would have been - that's cos you're early - again! cheeky moo. def. nip in the bud early hon. don't answer the door tomorrow - pretend you 'didn't hear';)

charleyfarley
03-08-2011, 07:23 AM
my friend has this, she refuses to open the door and now leaves the curtains shut until 7am when she starts and not a second earlier :laughing:

Yep my gate stays firmly padlocked till 8 so they can sit in the car till then :thumbsup:

Carol xx

kindredspirits
03-08-2011, 07:48 AM
I would ask mum if she needs to amend the contract start time as she has turned up 15 mins early each time - tell her you are not insured to work outside of contracted hours so you need to ensure that the correct drop off time is on the contract! :thumbsup:

Stormy
03-08-2011, 07:53 AM
I had a parent who used to do this, I got my daughter to answer the door and she said my mum is still in the shower, the mum waited in the lounge till I came down, I pretended I didn't know my daughter had answered the door and that she was waiting, I think she was embarrassed and she never did it again, I would sometimes see her wandering around outside killing time before she knocked on my door.
You have to nip it in the bud or it will niggle :)

singingcactus
03-08-2011, 07:53 AM
Yes, of course you should say something. Just remind her that her contract is for a specific time and that is the EARLIEST she should arrive, not the LATEST. Letting her know this is not a confrontation, it's a conversation. Just tell her, then you can all move on without any hostility or power games.

boxtree7
03-08-2011, 08:54 AM
i really don't like parents turning up early mornings ... one of my mums use to do this so i left her standing at the door

mushpea
03-08-2011, 10:21 AM
definatly deal with now,, I had one who was contracted at 8am and eventualy edged forward till 7.30am,, there it stayed for a while then eventualy it krept to 7.20am at which point I sent out a general letter to all parents saying I dont start till 7.30am and that I would not be opening the door any earlier,, now my door bell stays turned off untill 7.30am and they can wait outside till im ready.

Tealady
03-08-2011, 12:22 PM
Second day with a new baby, perhaps Mum is unclear on how these things work.

Have a polite chat tonight to explain things and tell her what she needs to do, either change contract hours or wait to whenever to drop baby off.

If she's still early tomorrow, make sure you bill her or don't answer the door.

Daftbat
03-08-2011, 12:58 PM
This is a new mum with a young baby and starting back to work. I would have thought that there could be a little leeway especially in the first couple of days - afterall she is probably feeling upset about having to leave her child - a normal reaction from the hardest of parents in my experience. Rather than getting all heated about it just talk to mum and explain. If a good working relationship is to be attained at all then some flexibility and empathy may be needed alongside good communication.

The Juggler
03-08-2011, 01:02 PM
This is a new mum with a young baby and starting back to work. I would have thought that there could be a little leeway especially in the first couple of days - afterall she is probably feeling upset about having to leave her child - a normal reaction from the hardest of parents in my experience. Rather than getting all heated about it just talk to mum and explain. If a good working relationship is to be attained at all then some flexibility and empathy may be needed alongside good communication.

i would agree normally but not if the new mum is being so rude about the OP having wet hair - again. She may be anxious about leaving baby but usually before you pass comment you need to wonder if you are actually in the wrong. If she was on time and OP's hari wet then maybe but I think this mum is out of order.

However, a polite chat about opening times is probably best route :)

snowqueenuk
03-08-2011, 02:49 PM
Thanks for all your replies, Daftbat I know where you are coming from but if she turns up early, in my own time, she has to take me as she finds me.

It's a good job she doesn't come round at midnight, no knowing what she might see then!! Lol x:blush:

snowqueenuk
03-08-2011, 03:12 PM
Thanks for all your replies. Daftbat I know where you're coming from but I don't think that what I do in my own time is any of her business. It's a good job she doesn't come round at midnight as who knows what she might see then!! Lol x::blush:

love381
03-08-2011, 03:24 PM
I've found new mindees often get dropped off early to me in the first week or so, but more because I think parents are confused/concerned about how it all works. One parent even said, 'I've come 15 minutes early, which I know isn't really right, but I was just making sure there is nothing you need me to sign/fill in/tell you about before I leave off for work - that way I won't be late!!' Makes sense with that!!

I also have found it easier to sit with parents at the end of the week and discuss the very first week - this is when I find things have settled slightly and we can then normally re-assess times on contracts and things!!

With regards to comments, perhaps mum is very nervous about leaving her child and things, so she may just be saying things to 'try' to be funny/lighten the mood type of thing (I've had a few of these parents!!)

x

Helcatt
03-08-2011, 08:58 PM
She could also be worried about settling the child in and wants to make sure all is ok before she leaves - at the contracted time

I had this for a while when a lad started, 10 mins early every day. I let it go on for a few weeks so that she knew all was settled, boys happy and settled etc etc and we had a chat about how well they had settled, after that I then made a point of still being upstairs and either took ages to answer the door or didn't answer until 8am

Now she usually arrives late and still wants to chat for 15 mins before she leaves

Be as diplomatic as you can but you do need to say something

HX

Ripeberry
03-08-2011, 09:53 PM
One mum, used to come 15 mins early to breastfeed in my house :eek: But thankfully she soon stopped that as it unsettled her children and they would have a real crying fit when she tried to leave.
She now goes straight away and they just go and play...great all round :thumbsup:

Newbie1!
03-08-2011, 10:12 PM
Ooo I had just the same with one of mine...I let it go on for six months (was only one day a week but really grated me!!)

It got that a 8am contract went to 7.55 then 7.50, and Im sure you know where Im going...one day she was outside my house when I got back from taking DH to work at 7.35. Anyway, eventually, after mentioning a few times that her contract said 8am..blah blah I decided not to open the gate until 8am (well a few minutes to)...the first time I did it she nearly took the gate off its hinges banging on it, pulling it, then went to my front window hammering on that too, and the door, and shouting!! :eek: I had to let her in for fear of upsetting the neighbours - her comment was "oh have you overlay"!!

I did it the following week and she brought older DS with her - so he banged on the front window and her on the back....for 15 minutes!! When I opened the gate at 7.55 I was greeted with........."Id like to know why you have suddenly decided you arent opening on time anymore...I have to leave for work at 7.45".......

Needless to say after an exchange of words she gave notice....I am of course totally heartbroken!! :laughing: :laughing:

The moral of my story is....leaving things too long makes it almost impossible to rectify - maybe a quiet word to start with - with being new/anxious etc - but if it continues nip in the bud!!! Good luck hun xxx

The Juggler
04-08-2011, 07:20 AM
Ooo I had just the same with one of mine...I let it go on for six months (was only one day a week but really grated me!!)

It got that a 8am contract went to 7.55 then 7.50, and Im sure you know where Im going...one day she was outside my house when I got back from taking DH to work at 7.35. Anyway, eventually, after mentioning a few times that her contract said 8am..blah blah I decided not to open the gate until 8am (well a few minutes to)...the first time I did it she nearly took the gate off its hinges banging on it, pulling it, then went to my front window hammering on that too, and the door, and shouting!! :eek: I had to let her in for fear of upsetting the neighbours - her comment was "oh have you overlay"!!

I did it the following week and she brought older DS with her - so he banged on the front window and her on the back....for 15 minutes!! When I opened the gate at 7.55 I was greeted with........."Id like to know why you have suddenly decided you arent opening on time anymore...I have to leave for work at 7.45".......

Needless to say after an exchange of words she gave notice....I am of course totally heartbroken!! :laughing: :laughing:

The moral of my story is....leaving things too long makes it almost impossible to rectify - maybe a quiet word to start with - with being new/anxious etc - but if it continues nip in the bud!!! Good luck hun xxx

oops! did she ever see the irony that she was only paying you from 8!:eek:

Newbie1!
04-08-2011, 07:39 AM
oops! did she ever see the irony that she was only paying you from 8!:eek:

Not at all!! even when we had words and I explained that she paid from 8am - I would reassess her fees etc she still just reiterated that she needed to leave at 745 and Id always let her in then before....I was fighting a losing battle with that one I think!!! :laughing:

miffy
04-08-2011, 07:51 AM
Not at all!! even when we had words and I explained that she paid from 8am - I would reassess her fees etc she still just reiterated that she needed to leave at 745 and Id always let her in then before....I was fighting a losing battle with that one I think!!! :laughing:

Amazing logic! :rolleyes: I wonder if she'd hammer on the door of the supermarket 15 minutes before opening time and expect to be let in? I think not!!

You're well rid of that one!

Miffy xx

smurfette
04-08-2011, 11:45 AM
I have one like this - I had to have words as the first day she started she was fifteen minutes late to collect then made lots of comments like 'I never let her watch tv' 'you wouldn't let her out to play on the road would you' (busy through road this lo is 18 months!! My own three 5,7 and 9 were playing in our front garden!!) etc and then arrived half an hour late the Second day - I actually thought she wasnt coming she had made that many comments! So i said she Would still need to pay me from expected time and for the late pick up (works from home locally so not traffic!) - now she turns up ten mins early every morning! There is usually one here earlier than her so it's not that big a deal and she sometime collects ten mins early too but the other lo is on hols and my own are on school hols so would rather have that extra ten mins in bed! Today i left her standing on the doorstep (also let's little one peer in the window hate that so rude!) with the curtains closed today and then breezily said '0h you are early this morning!' 'am I?! She said 'what time is it?' so I told her twenty past. She can be twenty mins late too drives me mad if i want to go out!! We will see if it makes any difference!!

francinejayne
04-08-2011, 02:38 PM
I ALWAYS HAVE WET HAIR IN THE MORNING - I LET IT DRY NATURALLY (IT'S ONLY SHORT ANYWAY!) oops caps lock on! :laughing:

I would perhaps mention it if it carries on all week, maybe as others said it is just because she is new etc.

Be blunt but polite, just say that you have noticed she is coming 15 mins early in the morning, and would she like to amend the contract - obviously this will incur an additional fee for the additional 15 mins!

Minstrel
04-08-2011, 02:53 PM
My mew mindee is only on her second week and day one she knocked at 8.27am and day 2 was 8.24am instead of 8.30am. I know its only a few minutes but i could see a pattern emerging and wanted to nip it in the bud. So i answered the door with a piece of toast in my hand. Got the point across by saying 'Oh she can come in a few minutes early as long as she doesn't mind sitting at the table whilst i finish eating as i wasn't expecting you just yet'.

Next day it was 8.32am :)

The Juggler
04-08-2011, 06:07 PM
My mew mindee is only on her second week and day one she knocked at 8.27am and day 2 was 8.24am instead of 8.30am. I know its only a few minutes but i could see a pattern emerging and wanted to nip it in the bud. So i answered the door with a piece of toast in my hand. Got the point across by saying 'Oh she can come in a few minutes early as long as she doesn't mind sitting at the table whilst i finish eating as i wasn't expecting you just yet'.

Next day it was 8.32am :)

i did that early on once - only 5 mins early so let them knock twice, said oh sorry it took me so long to answer but I'm usually just running round the last few minutes getting stuff ready for 7.30. Never happened agian.