Unruly behaviour

[SusanEMcc]

I have just started cm 2 months ago and it had been going really well until I my latest new start. He is 10 years old and comes 3 afternoons per week. He doesn't seem to mix well with the other children. He has been hitting out at the other kids and using bad language. Any activities I plan he ruins with disruptive behaviour. Trips to the park are a nightmare as he pushes the other kids off swings etc - he seems to get enjoyment from hurting or upsetting other kids. I have tried giving praise for positive behaviour - these are few and far between.

I have spoken to his dad abt his behaviour but nothing has changed. I am starting to dread him coming and think I'm gonna have to let him go - any suggestions I need HELP

[green4lynn]

If I were in your position I wouldn't put up with the behavior. If the parents aren't willing to help resolve things they you're fighting a losing battle. If its making you miserable to have him come into your home and disrupt everyone and everything, its not worth it.

Childminding is stressful enough without kids playing up, you should look forward to your days, not dread them!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Lynn x

[Dragonfly]

I think you may have to let him go if you have already spoken to the parents and there has been no change.you have to think of the other children.

[blue bear]

Have a meeting with child and parents, he is old enough to be included at 10, lay out the problems, let him have his say. Agree rules and consequences and issue a final warning. If he does not stick to rules and improve behaviour then he needs to move on to a setting more suited to him.
You must not let older children make the younger childrens experience with you become a negative one.
Take charge and stay firm.

[SusanEMcc]

Thanks guys for your help I think I'll speak to him and find out if he is happy coming to my house. If he's not then I will let him go, if he is happy then I'll explain that his behaviour must improve. I knew it was going too well lol x

[singingcactus]

He might be a little embarrassed about coming to a childminders house. This might be his way of letting everyone know that he is not happy with the situation. At that age kids really are better off in clubs, geared to their age group and interests. Like a football club, or activity day club. He might be feeling very resentful that mum and dad have chosen to send him to a place he considers to be for babies and little kids.
None of which makes his behaviour right, and he must know that at his age so it does need to be dealt with. But maybe you could try to get his point of view and find out a way to make it easier for him.

[SusanEMcc]

Hi singing cactus, I don't have any babies in the afternoon the kids here are all after school the youngest being 7. I have an 11 year old son who he likes to play with however my son will play football, playstation lego etc for a while with him but he prefers to play out with his own friends. It is a lot harder for older kids to settle than the little ones. He is an only child and is used to getting his own way. I'll see how it goes this week and I'll let you all know how we get on x

[Ripeberry]

He might be a little embarrassed about coming to a childminders house. This might be his way of letting everyone know that he is not happy with the situation. At that age kids really are better off in clubs, geared to their age group and interests. Like a football club, or activity day club. He might be feeling very resentful that mum and dad have chosen to send him to a place he considers to be for babies and little kids.
None of which makes his behaviour right, and he must know that at his age so it does need to be dealt with. But maybe you could try to get his point of view and find out a way to make it easier for him.


I used to wonder why not many cms took on older kids and the above explains it well. But of course you can sometimes get kids that LOVE being with younger children :)

[Pipsqueak]

you CANNOT allow the care of over 8's to impact negatively upon the under 8's .. EYFS is quite specific about this and Ofsted will be quick to frown up it.....

you are either going to have to spell it out to older child and parents that there has to be a dramatic and rapid improvement or you are going to have to terminate....